Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Morning all xx it's such a lovely feeling waking up feeling ready for the day isn't it, I have lots to catch up on around the house today and I'm ready for it, usually id be feeling a bit quesy or be popping a paracetamol the moment I woke up to head off any headaches , so this is just a fab feeling to know I'm free of that!
DS has a few friends staying this weekend and one of them said they wanted to bring me a bottle of something as a thank you, but DS told them how I'm not drinking at the moment, so they brought me flowers! that's given me even more of an incentive to keep AF, I don't want the family seeing me do it for a short time and then just give up and go back to how I was before, I like how they know I'm not drinking, i don't want that to define who I am!

@Iamateadrinker thanks for sharing. I know I would be exactly the same so appreciate you telling us this

Thanks @SwiftyFifty
I tell you what was different
I didn't waste any time telling myself I was useless, stupid, a failure as I have done on so many "day ones"
I had a wry smile and said " well that didn't work did it?" and moved on , straight back to AF beer and hobbies.
It's taken until today to realise what a massive difference that is.
I don't hate myself and think I'm beyond help.
I think in my sixth decade I'm actually growing up

@Iamateadrinker thanks for sharing that. That would be me if I had even one glass - it is so helpful to have you relate your story. Onwards!

Yes it is really helpful hearing how it is when people have a drink...thanks @Iamateadrinker and others who share this

@Iamateadrinker it just shows doesn't it how quickly we can skip back into how we were before, it's great that you've not allowed that to just take over again and think oh well Ive done it now might as well carry on, and it sometimes helps to have that drink because it reaffirms why you went alcohol free in the first place x
Oh yes let us know what those drinks are like I keep seeing them advertised but not sure about them!!

@Iamateadrinker oh yes please let us know how those drinks are I like the Sentia ones.

Same same! I think that's why my fitness thing has helped so much - I just crack on with that and happily forget about the "blip" instead of dwelling on it and telling myself I'm a loser. We are human and have multiple facets to our lives! Like you, it's taken me over half a century to reach this stage 😁

I can report back on Three Spirits Nightcap!
It's delicious! It's hard to describe the flavour, I think it's described as an alternative to dark spirits or cognac. It definitely had a woody, spicy kick. I just had it over ice. It felt like a treat ( and is expensive enough that I'll be treating it as such). I'll try it with soda water too which is one of the suggestions.
Re my own circumstances, I didn't really drink alcohol through my youth, whilst pregnant/ feeding, later on as a single parent as I needed to be responsible and available, it's probably only the last 10 years or so, looking back I think it was partly boredom/ stress/ feeling I deserved a reward after a hard day life- and it was horribly easy to come to rely on it.
I'll try the other varieties and let you know how I get on.
Suffice to say I am up early, refreshed after having slept through ( a miracle in itself) and heading off to an art class today.
Hope everyone has a great day.

Morning. So glad to wake up with no hangover! Was out for five hours with dribking friends yesterday- first three ok then it was just listening to them slurring, shouting, talking over each other and repeating themselves. I know that used to be me but God it’s dull! They must be absolutely hanging today and broke. It was said that I look better and seem a lot happier since giving up so I was happy that’s the impression people get ( rather than I’m boring and dull sitting in a corner)
Anyway just thought I’d share my longest time out with drinkers story. It really has reaffirmed that I don’t miss it. After the amount they drank, I would feel horrific today!
it was interesting to note as well that despite having about three bottles each, at no stage did it cross their mind to stop/ have a break or have a non alcoholic drink. This was me before I would never just stop and say to myself actually I’ve had enough now ( one friend with us was able to do that though)

Hi all , hope you're having a good (hungover free ☺️) day!
We had a few over last night, and I kept to my 0.0 AF sparkling wine and the diet Coke, it was fine I didn't think I was missing out on anything, and I also woke up feeling refreshed after a nice sleep I even tidied up the mess before I went to bed! I haven't had that anxiety about how I behaved !!

@SwiftyFifty wow you did well to stay out for 5 hours, do you think you would do it again,?
It is crazy to think how much it costs to go out aswell, think of the money we will be saving if nothing else!!

I have been lurking on this thread way back when it started back end of Dec/January. I have followed all the journeys.

I was late to start but read every post. I started my 100 day reset (as I called it in the beginning) on 1st Feb. I can’t quite believe as I’m laying in bed finally writing my first post, that tomorrow will be 100 days for me.

just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their journeys, I don’t know why I never posted before really. Maybe because I started a month later.
it has been an interesting, difficult in places 99 days so far but I am so proud that I have done this. I honestly never thought this would be something I could have done, infact I would have laughed at anyone who said I would go on to do this.

Im not sure what after tomorrow will bring for me. I would like to be a normal drinker but I don’t know if I can be. I do know that I can’t go back to how I was before. So I will just carry on doing what I’m doing until I work it out.

@PeacheyPeach thanks no I need to be strong and leave when I need to. The last hour particularly was hell, not because I wanted to drink but because I was bored and angsty. My fault as people don’t actually care when you go particularly in a larger group.
Its a learning curve I guess but kinda puts me off going to those sorts of occasions but luckily for me they are few and far between!
It did really strengthen my resolve though that I don’t want to be that person running inside the house to puke the minute I get home. Absolutely no judgement ( though I was never a puker) but it’s not for me now.
I think after this week I’m heading towards day 150. Exciting times!

Checking in dry on day 130. Still managing well with no cravings or thoughts of alcohol lately. I've found myself at a bit of a loose end this weekend with nothing much to do except potter around the house, read my book and watch some TV. Its just occurred to me that the world has now opened up to me in a way it hasn't been for a long time. I'm now free to arrange something or go to the gym or a class things I've never previously done because I would have been too hungover at the weekend. So I suppose that I am still learning about myself and life every day of this journey. I am so grateful to still be dry and free from all the constraints that alcohol brings with it.

@partyfoodpickingpiggy well done on reaching 100 days that's some achievement and welcome to this group.

Good to read everyone's doing well and navigating life successfully in their own ways. Wishing us all luck and strength for the week ahead, remember to be kind to yourself and take things easy. one dry minute, hour, morning, afternoon, evening, day all adds up to great things.

Congratulations @partyfoodpickingpiggy that’s a huge achievement and you should be very proud. I’ve had a few thoughts about having the odd drink but if I’m totally honest with myself one would turn into two and so on.. I feel like the best way forward is to not drink at all - I have tried and failed in the past to moderate so not attempting that again! Today is day 131 and that feels great. 😊 whatever the onward journey is for you, I wish you well. x

Morning everyone.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again @IamateadrinkerI’ve had a blip - I may have future blips. I still have cravings. It would have been so much easier for you to either press the fuck it button OR not post again. You tried it on for size (drinking again), decided it doesn’t fit you, not gone down a path of self loathing that we have all been familiar with at some stage. Such progress and MAYBE having that blip is a good thing in a sort of way - an itch scratched but now curiosity satisfied. And the ONLY good thing about being hungover is that there’s nothing quite like the sleep you get after a shitty hungover day. X

Crikey @SwiftyFifty managing 5 hours was bloody heroic. Kudos

I tell folk now why I don’t drink. I was a bit too ashamed initially so Dry Jan was a great excuse. I’ve got more comfortable telling folk I have a difficult relationship with it and was using it as self medication after DH’s stroke and I don’t want to do that anymore. I think folk understand and the positive of that is that people don’t try to persuade you to drink just one etc.

@partyfoodpickingpiggy blooming well done! I wonder how many other folk read but don’t post. I think it’s perfectly fine to just take it a day at a time. I still find the I’m never drinking again statement a bit overwhelming!

@partyfoodpickingpiggy wow that's amazing you have reached 100 days , you have done amazing, I think the trick is to take each day as it comes, and not to put to much pressure on yourself regarding having a drink, just enjoy the feelings that you have now
@Ladymuckypuddle what an awesome achievement, and to know that you've freed yourself and opened up new doors that were previously shut because of drinking and the after effects, you must feel so proud x

I am checking in on 31 days today so small fry compared to most of you ladies but I feel great about myself!!
I feel so free from the ongoing voice in my head about drinking, Its actually made me feel like a grown up making mature decisions, instead of trying to be the star of the show after a few drinks and trying to fit in with whatever group of people I'm with at the time.
I haven't had an ache in my back or stomach for a few weeks which I'm putting down to alcohol, so the health benefits are already starting x

Morning @PeacheyPeach - what a brilliant thing re the ache in your back and stomach. I’d be so reassured by that. Well done on 31 days - compare yourself to VERY many others who don’t make it to 31 days, or even only to yourself and just how fabulously YOU are doing. Brilliant!

@needastrongone I’m the same I just say it didn’t suit me anymore, the hangovers were horrific and I just got bored of it. I will then elaborate if asked that I was using it as a crutch for loneliness/ boredom and that I was drinking mostly home alone and it was making me miserable. People are genuinely impressed tbh especially as I was known for my love of wine on any occasion. God I think now with horror at the volume of bottles I used to get through and how much I spent on it!

Today is day one for me! Looking forward to feeling and seeing the results

Hi @Uncertain111 welcome to the board. How has day one been? You've got plenty of benefits to look forward to.

Hi and thank you @Icecreamhelps .

today has been fine. I don’t drink more than twice a week anyway but I want to eliminate it as it takes away my energy and makes me thirsty. I just don’t think it is worth it! It’s not worth the calories to me.

i do have evenings when I’d really love a glass of wine and on those I’ll probably find it hard. Hopefully as I see the benefits I’ll find it not too bad though.

Hi everyone, I am on day 12 and until this morning was feeling fantastic, really really good. I haven't really experienced any crippling urges to drink, which Im grateful for and I hope I don't develop a false sense of security. I have been to the gym a couple of times, and I'm so glad to be going back, I'm looking forward to fitting back into the clothes I miss! However. I have had a tough day at work today with 2 consecutive meetings that went very badly, and by the 3rd one I was so crushed that I delivered badly anyway. I'll tell you what happened in the first one. I was a guest at the meeting, invited because the chair knew I needed some information that the attendees could provide. I've been to some similar ones with a different group that went well. I had met with the senior exec from this meeting the day before and that went well also. Once I started going through my stuff a couple of the attendees began pointing out what they saw as errors in my data, which is fine, I needed it validated anyway, but it kind of felt less helpful than it did a pile- on, you know? I smiled and carried on, thanking them for the feedback etc and adding thier comments to the document I was sharing on the screen. This was on an online meeting btw. I was starting to worry that I was ill- prepared and shouldn't have accepted the meeting invite with so little notice and... god i can hardly write this, i flicked open my Teams chat window, went to the chat I'd been having earlier with the chair, and typed "ahhh... struggling here" kind of hoping for some chair-like input from him, before realising that I was typing that on the screen I was sharing with the whole meeting. I then had to pretend that that hadn't happened, close the window and carry on with the rest of the meeting, even though I knew they knew, and they knew I knew. Seriously horribly embarrassing. Head-on-desk for 10 minutes embarressing. The next meeting, immeadiately after was bad in a different way which I'll spare you from, all this to say, I am feeling very embarrassed and deflated after feeling so good, and I think it would usually be a trigger for a glass of wine tonight, so I am writing here, sharing, as a way to prevent myself from doing that. I love reading your posts. You are all doing so well and keep me inspired. Thanks for listening xx

@QldGCandproud aww what a stinker of a day you've had x when you realized you were sharing that message with the rest of the meeting, you must have wanted the ground to swallow you up, but hey you carried on and stuck it out and took on their feedback, you got through it !!!
Well done on keeping strong because that could have been the trigger for you to drink and you haven't so that's even better, it shows your determination xx