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Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

395 replies

needastrongone · 10/04/2026 09:41

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

OP posts:
Icecreamhelps · 01/05/2026 21:06

@SwiftyFifty your making perfect sense to me. I'm 100% more resilient than I was four months ago. Might seem like a small thing but I was making a quiche yesterday I dropped it just as I was putting it in the oven. Manged to catch it and salvage what was left. There was egg and cream all over the oven and floor. Yes I had a rant and nearly bust into tears but I cleaned it up and fixed it. Four months ago I'd have had a complete melt down. In fact four months ago I probably would have been too hungover or too drunk to even make a quiche from scratch to start with.

IjustbelieveinMe · 02/05/2026 05:32

@SwiftyFifty sorry you went through all that worry, I hope the productivity outweighed the negatives and you can enjoy the results of a tidy and clean house and happy dog. Hope you wake up today feeling better.
@Icecreamhelps hope the quiche was delish!

Last night I went out for dinner with my drinking friend, the first time since I stopped on 6th Jan. She asked me if I had completed the 100 days and I said yes, but I can't remember what day I am on now. She then proceeded to tell me how her relationship with alcohol was different to mine and how she would never stay at home and drink a whole bottle of wine to herself and if she was out she could quite happily drink one glass and leave it that. I felt quite shamed by her honesty, she wasn't being nasty, it was an open opinion. But I couldn't help but feel shame and how much money and time I had wasted over the last 4 years of my life with my habit. Had she been judging me all along?

I used to see my mum drinking every night, she would have a bottle of white wine each night that she would keep next to her while sat at the sofa. She wouldn't even keep it in the fridge! I left my mum when I was 11 due to abuse, and have worried ever since I was like her, which is why I never had children. Turns out I am like her with alcohol addiction.

I look back again in shame, at how I spent 3 weeks off work at christmas drinking a bottle of red wine every day (21 bottles!). I logged everything I did over that time so I knew what to tell people when I returned to work. I realise that all those activities I completed over 3 weeks is now what I can complete in one weekend sober. The productivity we all have now at weekends is amazing, it is a common theme on here how much cleaner and organised our houses are and how much more time we have to do things, how much earlier we get up in the mornings after a good sleep (which admittingly only improved for me after 90 days).

To end my offloading (sorry), for those still in the early stages of sobriety, and dealing with the cravings, try to reframe them as - its not a craving for alcohol, its your body telling you it needs nutrition and care. Try not to name the feeling as wanting wine, but instead recognise it as a need to have a glass of water, go out for a walk, drink tonic water or other sparkling drink, try and eat better, go to bed as early as you can get away with (sometimes I am in bed at 6.30pm!), wake up proud of yourself for not waking up with a hangover, when those cravings hit, its not alcohol, its a need to look after yourself. Your body is missing the chemical alcohol gave you, so replace it with something else (chocolate helps obvs, sod the sugar). But think of it as something your body needs because its getting better, and recovering, create a new habit that will benefit you in the long term.

SwiftyFifty · 02/05/2026 06:39

@IjustbelieveinMe what an amazing post. I have a few friends like this who will smugly say they can only have one and would never drink a whole bottle of wine. Neither of which is true. I think you’re giving up has made them defensive about their drinking and she was probably not judging you rather texting to make herself seem better. Generally I find that in most situations, people always revert it back to themselves regardless of it’s something you’re doing.
Re the self care part - absolutely agree. I was very out of sorts yesterday without my full sleep quota and felt robbed of the good nights sleep I have come to expect.
Thanks so much for your post

paintcolourchart · 02/05/2026 09:58

So yesterday I was at a 'networking' event where I didn't know anybody. I didn't know what to expect but it turned out to be a boozy one! I drove so drinking was off the table and I was on the sparkling water (my AF drink of choice). I was able to stay focused and engage, while everyone else got slowly (actually not so slowly) pissed around me. There were a couple of non drinkers because of driving but other than that the wine was flowing! I didn't feel like I missed out at the event but because I found it quite stressful I did want to open a bottle when I got home for the evening. Luckily we had family over until late (who are visiting and don't drink) so I was let busy and then didn't even think about it.

@IjustbelieveinMe to be honest I would feel a little skeptical about what your friend said. If I was able to just have one or two I'm not sure I would feel the need to tell a friend especially one who I know wasn't able to and was making a conscious effort to be AF. Thank you for your reframing insight. Along the same vein when I get a craving now I recognise it as 'I don't need a glass of wine, I just need to regulate my nervous system'. It took me a lot of time to come to that realisation! Day 11 for me so still early days but I'm beginning to approach the 2 week mark and after that I know I will find it easier.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend! Longer both because of the bank holiday and also by not wasting a load of time on booze/recovery!

PeacheyPeach · 02/05/2026 10:52

Morning all hope you're all ok and have woken up feeling refreshed xx
@IjustbelieveinMe thank you for your lovely honest positive post, you have no reason to feel shame at all, you have reset your relationship with alcohol,that's an amazing achievement and you should be proud of yourself, and then the positive rippled effect this has had on other aspects of your life, you don't need to feel shame, just glad that you have made the changes.
I have a friend who is similar in her opinions about giving up she likes to point out that I'm a very all or nothing when it comes to drinking, and is a bit judgemental about it, she is bemused that I will give up alcohol because she just doesn't have that relationship with it. But I know for a fact that she drinks wine most evenings and her husband definitely over drinks and would never consider giving up, ive never asked her for her opinion or advice on it and yet she likes to make comments about it so I think it's just because it does put the spotlight back on her drinking,

PeacheyPeach · 02/05/2026 10:59

@SwiftyFifty hope your had a better night's sleep, teenage sons are nightmares at times!!
@paintcolourchart well done on getting through your evening especially when you didn't know anyone, that's usually why we drink isn't it to give us that bit of courage but you did it without that crutch so that's amazing, making the plans to drive and stick to your AF drink of choice was such a good idea,
@Icecreamhelps hope the flan turned out ok !!
@PercyTrevelyan you sound like you've had a great week ( apart from being ill!) being in social settings straight away is actually a good plan it's gets the triggers out of the way and shows you that you actually can socialize without drinking xx

paintcolourchart · 02/05/2026 12:53

@PeacheyPeach to be honest I didn't know it was going to be a drinking event and it was quite far away so leaving the car wasn't an option. I actually felt relieved that I had driven when I was there though as it just took wine totally off the table. So glad today!!

PercyTrevelyan · 03/05/2026 05:14

Hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend. @PeacheyPeach thanks for your kind words, I love checking in on this thread and seeing how everyone is doing, in previous attempts of sobriety it can feel quite lonely so it’s really nice to have this community.

Im enjoying the early morning starts this weekend without feeling fuzzy headed or having anxiety, and don’t even mind going to bed at 9:30pm.

not sure how long this will last but enjoying it while it does. Hope everyone has a great day

needastrongone · 03/05/2026 09:07

Morning everyone on this grim morning!

@IjustbelieveinMe, what a wonderful post. I think it will resonate with everyone that contributes to this thread, and many who read it too. I think we can all look back and feel ashamed of behaviours relating to alcohol. The important thing is that we have recognised and changed going forward. I love the idea of thinking that we need self care when cravings hit - what a postive way to frame it - I’m going to adopt that one.

We had friends over on Friday night and had one of those once in a year nights where something just clicked, everyone was on form and we were still grinning the next day. They all drink but no one had more than 2/3 glasses of anything. I didn’t drink but was still knackered yesterday as it was a late night and I didn’t have any down time before trying to sleep. I’m so glad I didn’t drink too as I really wanted my bed the whole day anyway!

I recognise that feeling @paintcolourchart - in the past I’ve even driven and then poured a glass of wine as soon as I got home. I wonder why now! Well done for not doing, that’s another trigger point negotiated.

@PercyTrevelyan - it’s a lovely community here isn’t it? Posts like @IjustbelieveinMe just make it easier for other people, without even realising they are having this effect ❤️

OP posts:
freshstart2026 · 03/05/2026 09:22

Checking in to say I’ve fallen off the wagon again. So that’s 14 days I’ve drunk this year. Feeling horrid this morning and determined to get back on the wagon today! I have a very busy couple of months at work so need to be clear headed and sober.

needastrongone · 03/05/2026 09:27

@freshstart2026 I think it’s great that you are still posting, most folk will drift away from the thread. Please keep with us! Is there a specific trigger that you can post about on here and we can try help you unpick? I appreciate the life stress ❤️

OP posts:
SwiftyFifty · 03/05/2026 10:00

@freshstart2026 love that you post your ups and downs. You seem very positive and determined this time though. Like you, I just know if I let the ball drop once I would be straight into moderating and not abstaining. It’s the start of a new month how about setting yourself a one month goal and see how you go.
I met a friend yesterday and she was praising me for my non drinking but was astounded how much I spent a month on it ( she was on 20 a day up to recently!) and also threw in that I ALWAYS used to get more pissed than every one else. I know it wasn’t meant nastily but it’s like if you lose a bit of weight people will think that they are encouraging you by saying that you had really stacked it on or in my families case sbout neighbours “ she was a big fat lump before”
Another observation is that friends I used to drink regularly with, spending time with them sober seems to show up their annoyances more and I find myself internally feeling really irritated/ drained with them.
Looks like I’m heading to becoming a sober loner!

PeacheyPeach · 03/05/2026 10:39

Morning all xx everyone is doing great
@needastrongone your evening sound's fab and just what is needed at times isn't it,
@freshstart2026 like the others have said it's great that you just haven't stopped posting on here , so still keeping yourself accountable , and would it help having a new challenge , perhaps use the new month to reset,

We were doing diy jobs all day in the house and garden yesterday, and there was a point that I thought to myself " oh I might have a drink tonight" as a reward! And then my next thought was , do I really want to spend today feeling hungover when I still have more jobs to be getting with and why would I view that as a reward, when a nice long soak in the bath was actually what I needed!!

CoffeeCupMilk · 03/05/2026 10:49

Hello everyone - just read and thought I'd share this in case it's interesting to others. My first thought was that it resonated, but then reading on, it has a very early-life realisation that alcohol wasn't helping, and change...which I wasn't expecting, and I guess probably wasn't quite the case for many others here too! (assuming ages!)

www.theguardian.com/society/ng-interactive/2026/may/02/dissociation-confusion-and-the-downward-spiral-welcome-to-anxietyland

freshstart2026 · 03/05/2026 12:48

Thanks everyone - love this group ❤️

I feel a bit low today. I’ve not been able to get much done due to feeling hungover, and I’m going through some changes at work - I’ve applied for a few internal roles, interviewed for one of them and messed up. I could literally hear myself giving a different answer to the question they asked at one point…terrible. I’m hopefully interviewing for the second one soon (they’re reviewing applications at the moment) assuming they don’t think I was so bad on my first interview that it’s not worth interviewing me for the second role. I really would love to get it.

freshstart2026 · 03/05/2026 13:27

I think the worst thing about being hungover is the waste of a day because you feel too ill to do anything. It’s grim

therockingbird · 03/05/2026 17:18

Checking in.. day 124! On tour with the rugby team (u13’s) and parents.. aka huge piss up. I’ve remained alcohol free and it’s been an eye opener. ExH insisted on attending and got absolutely trashed last night outside the lodge with two other alcoholic dads until 3am this morning. To say I’m furious is an understatement.. not to mention shattered. However - it just reconfirms my ‘why’ and I’m staying in my lane. He’s now shamefully vanished back home (yes he got in his car and drove) first thing this morning!! I’ve had to explain myself several times to others about not drinking - but not at all fused by that.

freshstart2026 · 03/05/2026 17:25

Fantastic @therockingbird 👏👏👏

I’m feeling dreadful. Counting down the hours til bedtime.

needastrongone · 03/05/2026 17:53

@freshstart2026 - would it help to physically write down how crap you are feeling right now? Because as we all know the wine witch will come calling in 3/4 days time when you start to feel better. We’ve all been there so definitely no judgement here. ♥️

Well done @therockingbird, it looks grim looking at it with sober eyes the behaviour doesn’t it?

OP posts:
freshstart2026 · 03/05/2026 19:35

@needastrongone good idea. I started writing on a piece of paper but thought I might as well share it here!

Drinking, the reality

  • I don’t remember my full journey home last night or going up to bed.
  • I woke at 4am feeling horrific. I went downstairs and necked a can of Coke which didn’t help much. Then I didn’t get back to sleep until 6.30am. The alarm went off at 7am to take the DC to footy. Sheer hell.
  • I felt exhausted all day and could barely do anything, wasting my Sunday. The day has been a write-off.
  • The DC wanted to do various activities and I had to say no to most because I was feeling so rough. As a result I’ve been having guilty feelings about being a crap mum, not present for my kids, letting their childhood slip away etc.
  • I ordered takeaway food to try and help my hangover - another 20 quid down the drain.
  • My mood has been low, anxious and negative and I’ve been doom-scrolling on my phone which has only made it worse.
  • The house is a tip, laundry isn’t done etc because I didn’t have the energy.
  • I feel so ill and down on myself, it’s hideous.

Conclusion: drinking is SO not worth it!!!

needastrongone · 03/05/2026 19:40

Gosh that’s just brilliant @freshstart2026, I know you wrote it for you but it’s a great reminder for us all. We’ve all been there, I for one don’t want to do it again x

OP posts:
QldGCandproud · 04/05/2026 02:30

Good morning, I joined this thread last weekend, but it took me until Friday night to abstain. I was furious with myself but also in that "I don't care" zone, which I find really hard to shift gear from. I so wanted to come back on this thread with a good news story. When my oldest DS asked me if I could pick him up at 10.30pm from a night out with his new (first) GF, I took it as an opportunity to abstain, and it is now Monday and I've stayed AF all weekend. As usual, when I'm on day 3 or 4 I feel pleased and like "this is it", no more day 1's. A big part of this is that my kids can certainly see this drinking behaviour for what it is, and although I rarely get "drunk" in front of them, sometimes I do, and is not who I want to be. My Father has also ruined his life twice over due to alcohol, and his kids are now his only social support which both infuriates me and scares me. I've been trying to manage my relationship with alcohol for years. After my Mum died alcohol took a step-up in my life and it was a while before I questioned it, and when I did and realised how hard I was finding it to stop I went to my Dr to talk about it, got some support which didn't help me. I found a book about the power of the subconscious mind which was amazing, and ended up having hypnotherapy (not all hypnotherapists are equal btw) which although it didn't "cure" me, it gave me long periods without drinking, I went back many times, and those long periods helped me realise that it is not inevitable that I will drink, and that somewhere inside I have the tools to break free from this. I
I've worked out that it's the triggers but that I avoid managing them properly. And the lies alcohol tells you that it will be different this time. And the deeply held sub-concious belief that somehow alcohol helps, or makes things better, or easier, or more fun. Even though I know 100% in my concious mind that none of that is true.
I joined and went to the gym yesterday. I'm very chuffed about that. Fitness has always been my "thing" and if I bumped into anyone from my past they would not belive the state of me right now. There is a line I read that helped me in my last period off alcohol, which helped me and I want to share it, it goes: "The people with a problematic relationship with alcohol, who manage to overcome that, have one thing in common. They don't drink".
Thank-you all for being here. Hugs and best wishes ❤️

freshstart2026 · 04/05/2026 08:19

@QldGCandproud well done on abstaining - it’s great to have you with us.

I cannot tell you the RELIEF of waking up sober this morning. It feels great! I still have anxiety but will get back on my meds today. I hope everyone has a good bank holiday Monday. Onwards and upwards!

freshstart2026 · 04/05/2026 11:24

Also just to add that I woke last night with the most horrible night sweat - I was drenched. Presumably it was my body trying to rid itself of all those poisonous toxins 😖

PeacheyPeach · 04/05/2026 12:19

@therockingbird wow you did amazing to keep strong when everyone else around you including idiot exes was drinking well done you must be feeling so proud of yourself xx
@freshstart2026 that's a great list that you've put together, sometimes you need to remember the reasons why you don't want to drink before you have one xxx
@QldGCandproud you can do it x start this new month as your reset, you've already started the month in a Good space, why don't you set your self a little challenge, have you used the try dry app, it's great and it lets you make small challenges on there that helps you stick with it,

Morning all , I had a bit of a stressful evening last night with one of my teenagers, he brings a lot of anxiety to the family tbh usually id be wanting to open a bottle of something to just calm down but it didn't even cross my mind, I did have an anxiety dream though were I actually drank and I was so cross in my dream that is ruined my sober streak so that's a good sign isn't it , that even in my dream I want to stay AF !!!