The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@shymaryellenthat must be so incredibly annoying when they don’t cater for it and then take what you’ve brought! I am slightly dreading that stage. Haven’t got there yet. Only hosted so far and then been out at places where I can buy AF options.

i was pleased today that when I bought some nice AF wine at a lovely shop they said they were stocking more and more options as it’s becoming so popular. One of the local restaurants today also has a huge range. They are saying loads of people aee stopping now and want these options. Wondering what’s happening… but it’s good :)

Annoyingly, I have recently remembered a lovely Mexican place on our travels that had such nice cocktails and we had a really fun time, but I know, it’s just not worth it. I’m sure I would have had a lot of fun without it as well. The atmosphere was amazing.

i have been thinking about how some of the quit lit describes the way we can remember it all selectively and with rose tinted glasses. I still have some of the wistful fond memories of what I can’t have and I really want to knock this thinking on the head. I try to remind myself of all the bad times and there were many of those as well. It’s really incredible to me how much we can and do punish our bodies.

i have been thinking about how some of the quit lit describes the way we can remember it all selectively and with rose tinted glasses

@Sunshinebound99 Yes, I am guilty of this. There's one occasion that always sticks out - about 20 years ago, it was a family meal on my birthday and it started really badly - we had booked at a restaurant and they had hardly any of the advertised food on the menu, so we had to find somewhere else to eat, and I remember feeling really deflated and then thinking 'don't worry, if I get pissed enough, I'll have a whale of a time!'

In short, I did, and I did, and so did my sister. I don't recall 'the morning after' but I very much doubt it was pleasant - rose tinted glasses, selective memory.

But perhaps more importantly, we found a nice restaurant, we got a lovely round table so we could all see and talk to one another, the food and service was great, I was looking good by my standards (I still have the photos) and feeling confident - it would probably have been a great night without the alcohol, but that was my mindset in those days and for a long time afterwards - awkward situation, alcohol will help - disappointment, alcohol will solve it - things are a bit lacklustre - alcohol will give them sparkle.

if I go back further to the days before I drank, as a teenager (I didn't start drinking till I was a student) I can remember just as many lovely family meals where alcohol was not on the radar at all. Again, selective memory in action.

It's so important to think rationally and ask yourself the question 'was it the alcohol that made this a lovely time, or was it a lovely time where you also happened to be drinking?' It's the latter!

Love this example!! How very very true. I remember so many good times when I was young without alcohol and it was wonderful. Also the time when I was pregnant was one of the calmest and happiest. I’m sure hormones had a lot to do with that too but I know I don’t need it

Hi everyone,
Well I got to 60 days and then slid into the ditch and I’ve pretty much been drinking every day since then. My exercise and diet have been abandoned and I feel lousy. Today is ‘back on the wagon’ day.
Here’s to the next 60.

Morning all.
I've been up since sparrows as I have this massive legal problem to solve.
Not looking forward to this coming week until my solicitor sorts it out ,(if he can). I've got so much stress.

I hate people who lie and I will always call them out. Much harder when they're a big organisation.

I did fall off the wagon yesterday (better out than in even after four years) but I stopped myself. The DD is not speaking to me.
I'm not a 'cured' alcoholic but I choose not to drink. I'm so frightened of the consequences if I lose my case this week, I can't talk to anyone about it as it's so personal, the bff knows but that's it. It's petty on their part and unnecessary. I've lived with their nonsense for a year. It's nearly broken me. I've often thought of just disappearing it's that bad.

On a lighter note I managed to finish watching the Walshes. Not for me.

@WhatMaggieDid Congratulations on getting back onto the wagon! Take it one step at a time, do what you need to to cut out the booze, then work on your overall healthy lifestyle. You'll be feeling better within days once the booze is behind you again, and now we've got ligher evenings, it's the perfect time for getting out of the house for a walk when you feel tempted.

I'm still stuck on GMT - didn't wake up till 9:30 this morning and only just got dressed. DH is kindly making me a coffee to get me going. Got a few chores to do then we're planning to brave the terrible weather forecast and go out to a market about 30 mins drive away. We'll probably find no one there, but will get us out of the house.

@WendyWagon That must be so stressful, no wonder you are suffering temptation. I hope you can talk to your BFF if no one else.

I hope it is resolved in your favour this week. If it goes against you - all I can say is you will know then for sure what you have to somehow cope with, rather than it being the constant anxiety of not knowing what will happen, and can start taking whatever steps you have to to deal with it, rather than being in limbo. I do hope things go your way and that you can stay strong in such a nightmare situation.

Afternoon shipmates
Good for you @WhatMaggieDid you're back here and that’s the main thing. We trick ourselves into thinking “just one or two” then back on the booze every day before long. I’ve done it many times. I hope you’re ok and I’m glad you’re here.
@WendyWagon that all sounds horribly stressful. But as @PhantomOfAllKnowledge says hopefully you will get an outcome this week. Then you can plan what comes next. And it’s good that you have your BFF to talk to. I’m dreadful at sharing my worries with “real life” people which is probably the cause of half my issues.
I have a friend going through a very acrimonious divorce at the moment and so have been spending quite a bit of time with her. It’s terrifying how people that once loved each other can be so mean! Work has also been hideous this week but I’ve managed to watch bad tv, get to the gym and guzzled an Easter egg so not too bad all things considered.

Bless you @Carpetburn .
I use to over share especially when pissed. My issue is so serious I can't have people gossiping.
You know what they say about friends for the good times!
Lots of mine are like that.

Just popping in to say hello. 💐to @WhatMaggieDid and @WendyWagon especially. Maggie it's amazing that you got to 60 days; you can do it again! That's a longer stretch than I've managed in literally years.

Wendy sending you strong serene vibes for the court case. What bastards people can be. Remember that whatever happens, you've done everything you can do, and you will still have your beautiful family, your DH and DC who love you. You will get through this!

After I last posted on here I drank every day for a week, trying to finish that piece of work that was worrying me. It was utterly stupid because the drink didn't help; I wasn't making any progress on it. I finally managed to stop drinking and then sent the work off the same day. I have to stop this. I'm going to look for a therapist (private), because the 12-step meetings don't seem to be enough for me at the moment.

It seems like every time I relapse now, the detoxing feels worse and takes longer. I'm on day four today and it's the first day I've felt better. I know it's my body telling me I just need to stop. I've gained weight, my eyes have some ugly red broken blood vessels, and I feel exhausted (even though it's partly emotional exhaustion too, because anxiety is exhausting).

But today I am starting to feel better. Am meant to go into the city centre with DS2 tomorrow so that he can look at clothes to see if there's anything he wants for his birthday (which is a few days away).

Strength and hope to everyone for tomorrow and next week.

Good morning shipmates.

@elusivehope you made me cry.
Thank you for your support.
I do think you are way too hard on yourself. I know you mentioned before about being 'not good enough '. You are. Your intelligence (academic and emotional) shine through your posts.
I wish I could be your friend IRL.
We strive all our life to meet others expectations but really we are all the same. We come into this world naked and go out the same.
If we have good health and a loving family and friends we're very lucky.

I just eaten a hot cross bun. Brave, bold Wendy couldn't eat yesterday even though there's some wicked cheese in fridge number 2. I offered it to the DS but he's cutting back on the fats.

Big girl pants on today for me. Hopefully the solicitor fancies a fight!

Good luck, @WendyWagon. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I hope it goes well 🤞. Definitely better to have a clear head for difficult situations.

Morning all.
Oh @WendyWagonyou deserve a win. Keeping everything crossed for you.
@elusivehopeglad to see you. Is it Easter holidays now for you? Will that help you get the first week or so done? Hope you feel even better today.

I'm looking for a new job. I don't need to feel this stressed all the time. It's not worth it. Thank goodness I've not been drinking as well, I can't imagine what the anxiety would be like. Well I can sort of remember it, but these past couple of weeks have been the first time I've had the clarity to say no more. Job market is awful though.

Good morning shipmates.

A few of us in the choppy waters at the moment. I have had a regrettable (deeply regrettable) slip this weekend too @WendyWagon and @elusivehope. I must try harder, for Sid if no-one else. I tried to pull myself out of it by watching the last few episodes of The Other Bennet Sister last night. I enjoyed that.

Keep going my friends. It will get better. It really will. x

Big hugs @elusivehope @WendyWagon @REP22 @WhatMaggieDid I was so close to slipping this holiday, DH who has completely supported me has had a few drinks on holiday, literally a glass of wine or beer with a meal and I’ve been tempted to drink his dregs when he goes to the loo. FFS, it’s so wicked. I’m not under any stress currently but can imagine how much more tempting it would be with a heavy workload or a bloody court case.

It probably doesn’t help but know that you all being so open and honest has got me to day 200! So huge thank you all round x new sticker too!

I’ve done quite a bit of exercise don’t even recognize myself x

Good luck for the week ahead, we’ve got this shipmates x

I'm loving the Bennet sister.
However I can't help wanting to get my makeup bag out!

Morning all.
More hugs for @WendyWagon , @elusivehope , @REP22 and @WhatMaggieDid . The most important thing is that you are here and posting. Your blips don’t define you.

I’m reading a very good book at the moment called “The gap and the gain”. It’s all about how often we measure the “gap” between where we are and the “ideal”, instead of the “gain” we have made from where we were previously. The “ideal” can inspire us in the right direction, but the “gain” is where progress happens.

I am not very good at this! I ran a half marathon yesterday and was 10 minutes slower than last year BUT it is only 5 months since surgery, I’ve been suffering badly with fatigue from the treatment and sleeping really badly. So I’m should be celebrating that I got to the start

Congratulations on 200 days @FiloPasty !! 💪🏻

Yes what @Onewildandpreciouslifesaid. I love that about the gain. Look how far we've come!
Congratulations @FiloPasty- it does help! You enjoy that sticker you deserve it.

@Onewildandpreciouslife really like that way of looking at it, thank you.
@FiloPasty wow, that’s amazing! Congratulations! Helps me feel stronger about my holiday coming up.
@REP22 @WendyWagon@elusivehope and @WhatMaggieDid sending love. For what it’s worth you are all so inspiring. It wouldn’t be so remarkable if it was easy. And what has made me think it might just be possible to win is seeing people fall and get back up again, which is what I’m shown time and time again on this board.
I’ve had so many bad thoughts recently, including going as far as actually planning to take a break from sobriety for my holiday. But I think I’m starting to remember why that’s not a great idea. I will not drink with you tonight.

Congratulations @FiloPasty what an awesome number! I’m plodding on behind but I’ll get there.
@elusivehope and @REP22 i hope you are both ok. I must have bounced in and out of here who knows how many times and always scarpered after any blip, slip or trip. I’d bob up again usually months later full of loathing and regret. If ONLY I’d been brave enough to stick around and recognise a slip isn’t something that removes all the work we did and the learning we get each time we wobble. I’d have years under my belt by now and a good deal fewer hideous anecdotes of shame.
So kudos to knowing that when you fall overboard you get straight back on the ship. Yes it’s lovely to have lots of consecutive days and yes the longer you go without drinking the better things are. But we got here because our brains tell us that on occasion we can just have one or something bad happens and we just don’t care in that moment. And I’ve yet to meet the person posting on here that has come back to say how fabulously well moderating has worked for them. Those ladies live on another thread!
We are here because we got a bit unravelled by drinking and as @WendyWagon says “it doesn’t serve us”.
plus trydry app counts total days which also helps give perspective on how far I’ve come.
Everyone who comes here offers something to others and so we take our turns on the ups and the downs and the inbetweens.
Im feeling extra motivated at the moment as my youngest DD (who is an adult) is struggling a bit with anxiety and I know my advice and support for her is better received when I’m not sozzled. So while I don’t want her to worry it is also a strong motivator to stay sober.

And @Onewildandpreciouslife yes yes yes! Your post is exactly right and congratulations on the Half marathon!

Morning all.

Off to the hospital shortly to see if they can sort my hand. RA drift.

Carpetburn is right about counting sober days.
If I took the moderating view it wouldn't take me long to build up my consumption. I think I tried it after 100 days and got absolutely rat arsed.
I was back here pretty sharpish that's why I'm still here.
I love to tell you I never think about booze but I'd be lying. The food I'm doing well on.
Fridays have blended into just another day. I don't get that hoorah let's party.

My slips have all been about serious issues in the family or some git owing me money.
I have few people I can lean on with personal issues. My late younger brother was the support, my other siblings are useless or NC like my sister. I know it's just life.

Roll on warm weather.

Thank you lovely shipmates - for your kind words, your understanding and support. You are such a source of hope, good cheer and encouragement.

Fantastic, the lot of you. Thank you.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xxx

Chins up!

I nearly broke my streak over the past few days - it was very busy, I've made other health adjustments, and I thought a couple wouldn't hurt and would in fact probably help....

The combination of feeling overloaded and also that one or two wouldn't make much difference was getting through my defences.

I still love waking up feeling well though, and feel lucky to have got through those weak moments.

And you will be alright too, @REP22. As will you, too, @elusivehope.

Each of us on this thread knows how difficult it is to steer a steady course all the time. It's hard, and it's not fair that we can't be social drinkers, but the truth is that we can't. In most cases, a slip is much more than that, isn't it? There may be some people who can 'moderate' after years of problem drinking, but I can't say I know any. I do know that I can't. It is far easier to have none than to have even one glass, as as soon as I do that it's harder not to have more.

The trick is to remember that whilst no alcohol is 'good', when we have had long periods without any we are in better shape, physically and psychologically, to re-establish ourselves as non-drinkers, and do just that. Onwards and upwards is the only way to go.

Any news you can report, @WendyWagon?