The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@REP22 that really made me laugh! I remember torturing my own parents with “hot cross buns” on the recorder as a child shortly before it vanished never to be seen again. The idea of an assembly hall filled with that racket brings me new respect for teachers!

Morning all.

Day from hell yesterday sorting a bedroom stuffed to the gills with clothes and linen.
My knee has puffed up in defence!
I'm really pissed off tbh. The DH was a right pain in the arse re what should go (my stuff). I had a smug laugh when he couldn't find his new suit. It was four hangers in. Better go to spec savers!
He's away today or there would be a fight.

I've got the national agent taking photos Thursday. They've called me every day. Let's hope it's worth it. We have decided which cottage. The DD is not happy as it doesn't have a parcel point. I'm bloody ecstatic as I can walk everywhere for what I need.

And I use to play 'men of Harlec' on my cello to please my dad.
Not a recorder person.

@filopastrysounds just like us on hols - how you and your husband used to be. Wow.

I very much never want to be that couple again. My husband (and I) are so much nicer generally when we’re not in that cycle. He said yesterday he wants to have maybe a glass with dinner on hols going forward but I’m not sure he’s capable of that. It’s a slippery slope. But I don’t want to be controlling. It has to be his choice. Hoping he’ll agree to read William porters book. It has been SO much better with us both not drinking but he hasn’t read anything about it.

@Sunshinebound99 and @FiloPasty me and my husband too. It makes me cringe to think about it really.

I’m going on holiday in a week or so. First proper holiday sober. Not drinking will be a huge challenge as it’s a big group thing with drinking the norm.

And although I know I shouldn’t try to control my husband’s drinking, I really don’t want him modelling excessive drinking to our teenagers this holiday. It’s one of the reasons I’ve stopped and I feel strongly about trying to undo any previous damage we’ve caused.

Ah tricky. Most likely outcome is he’ll try his best but get a bit carried away and I’ll be sulky about it.

Morning all
yes same here on the holiday front. There have been times where I won't go back to the bar we were in the night before because I was too embarrassed . Or we'd meet some other people where all promises to spend time together on the holiday and then I'd never want to see them again. Eww.

Try and focus on it just being your 'fight' @eekwhatnow. He'll get there in his own time. Your teenagers will be able to decide what they'd rather emulate.

I'm waking up so early at the moment. My fitness tracker warns me I have an elevated heart rate that is a sign of stress. Tell you what's stressing me out is the tracker saying that I have an elevated heart rate. Stupid mini robot.

Morning all.

I'm not sleeping well due to stress. The legal matter cometh.

Morning all.
I’m lucky in that DH has never been a particularly heavy drinker - he has this bizarre ability to stop after 2 glasses. But he is part of a group of friends that all drink heavily, so when we go away as a group I find it very difficult - I have no desire to join in, but they’re dull and I hate the example they set for the children. Sorry - I’m not helping much am I @eekwhatnow 🤣?

What I can say is that whilst both my kids drink, they seem to have a fairly sensible approach to it. I think it would have been lovely if alcohol could have stayed a social one-off, a “take it or leave it” kind of thing, but for me it wasn’t. All I can do is model that there is an alternative to putting alcohol at the centre of my life.

But I am now obnoxiously chirpy early in the morning when we go away as a group. I’ve also found my limit is 2 nights - any longer than that and I start to get very grumpy with everyone

Good morning shipmates,

Bonkers wind here last night. A full bin was being blown upright along the street at one point. It looked like a Dalek invasion.

So sorry for the holiday angst and the sleepless nights. It won't always be this way. Better times will come. xx

Morning all.

Another super busy day yesterday getting ready for the Estate Agents photographer this morning. I hate scrutiny. However if I want to downsize to a more peaceful life it has to be done.
The old stiff joints will pay for it tomorrow.

@eekwhatnowgood luck on your holiday!! I am worried for ours in May and August but hopefully sense will prevail. Really don’t want to set a bad example for our son

Morning all.

Friday, yey. I stopped working Fridays about fifteen years ago so even in my semi retired state I look forward to it.

My house is clean and tidy and I'm expecting a shoe rack today for my remaining shoes.

I've been fancing the Gordon's AF so I'll get the lemons out. I also have the DS here.

It was bright for the Estate agent photography yesterday. They are chasing me. Another house sold near me yesterday for a good price.
Cometh Easter, cometh buyers I hope.

Good morning shipmates, we have made it to Friday.

The endless carnival of fun and laughter at work continues apace. Yesterday it was all dog bins. Cesspits today. What a glamorous life I do lead.

Strength and courage my brave friends. It will be alright. xx

Morning.
If anyone is in need of some laughter this week (and by god I have) then I highly recommend last one laughing on Prime.

I've got visitors this weekend and I'm really not up for it at all. I just would rather book in for a facial and not see anybody. I need a break. In good news though I have some Lyles AF Gin and Tonics to try this evening. I have lemons too. I am going to mark the end of the week to put a pin in the vileness of working.. although not as vile as cesspits, some of the people I work with I wouldn't mind seeing them wade through one..

Good luck for holidays. It can be done. Just start by saying no twice. Eventually you won't need to.

Evening all. Still on my quest for making alcohol free spring evenings, and Friday evenings in particular, a thing of joy.

My mood has been rather squashed by an irritating work day and one of my kids being let down (again) by a friend they keep trusting, which is making my heart ache. I might ordinarily try to fix this by insisting on hunkering down as a family and having a cosy film night but the other kid has a friend over and they are currently creating chaos together.

So instead, I’m hidden away drinking fancy tea and about to take half an hour on my bed with my book.

I sympathise with you on the work and visitors front @Lavrander although I suspect you might have a better time than you think?

You are right @eekwhatnow. I will have a nice time. Just right now I feel I'd have a nicer time on my bed with a book also!

I'm sorry about your child's friend. It must be so sad seeing them get hurt. I'm sure they'll learn eventually. Children can be rather cruel but they do learn.
Enjoy your fancy tea.

Evening shipmates!
apologies for uncharacteristic silence the plague descended earlier this week. Better now and I too @ShyMaryEllen have been enjoying last one laughing.
Had to order DH into the spare room as his coughing and rolling about in bed was making me murderous. I’m truly horrid without sleep. Luckily he’s a patient man and knows I’m much nicer after a restful night.
Hope everyone is heading into steady sailing for the weekend!

@eekwhatnow I too have had one of those days and sorry to hear about your child and the ‘friend’. It’s so hard when they are sad and being let down by other kids.

I am finding my groove more with alc free Friday nights. Kombucha, trip, and tanq alc free gin all good options. And just nice to chill a bit and have steadier weekends. I really thought I would be so bored at home without the drinking but it’s been better. I feel better the next day and the evenings are less fraught. I’m still a bit irritable though but I’m only about 5 weeks into this, which is apparently normal.

it will will be nice when it all feels second nature

have good weekends all

Woo hoo shipmates, it's the start Easter holidays. Highlights will be, do some jobs at home, spend time with my ever growing up teen DD's and have my mum stay. Bliss.

My Friday night's are all pick ups, drop offs and pick ups interspersed with dinner, chocolate, a book, decompressing from the work week and rejoicing not making lunches for the next day!

Looking forward to my bed tonight. Hope you all have restful sober weekends.

Ahoy there, Shipmates!

A busy week last week - I had the challenge of a rather glitzy work event - people coming from all over the country, staying in a hotel etc. No one was getting paralytic as 'senior' types were all over the place, but there was wine provided with the meal and a paid bar that was lively. I was really annoyed that the only drink offered with the meal that wasn't alcoholic was orange juice. They could at least have offered lemonade or coke, there were two types of wine plus bottles of beer!

I used to rely very much on alcohol at this type of event just so I would 'loosen up' enough to talk to people, as I am quite introverted, so this was something of a challenge for me, but I'm glad to say that after about 30 minutes of sitting like a frozen lemon, I did manage to insert myself into some conversations and I had an OK time, as much as is possible at this kind of thing which is right out of my comfort zone.

I reaped the benefits the next morning when everyone was getting up early to get their trains back - there were a lot of hungover faces in the breakfast room, and in the past I'd have been one of them, worrying incessantly that I'd almost certainly 'overshared' with my colleagues and embarrassed myself!

Big win there @PhantomOfAllKnowledge !! It’s so lovely to be free of that fear.

But it is maddening how poorly non-drinkers are catered for at these events. My boss once organised a work event and I made him order AF fizz (he went to M&S for it as the venue didn’t stock it).

Morning all.

It's so sunny up here.
DH is working and DS has gone to golf.

The bff is coming for a lunchtime sandwich. I've not seen her for a few weeks.

Next week is Showtime with the house.

Evening all. Ended up having a nice evening last night and woke up very content. Really valued being sober enough to play a game with the kids before bed.

Currently having far more evil thoughts than normal though. Will be perfectly happy and then suddenly think ‘oh this would such a lovely time to chill out with a glass of wine’ and immediately feel sad for myself. It’s annoying. Sometimes I don’t have these thoughts for weeks on end but they are plaguing me at the moment!

@eekwhatnow I think the lighter evenings play a part in triggering this, and better weather means you start seeing people sitting outside nice country pubs and that kind of thing.

It helps to really plan your free days to get up early and make the most of them - something you'd be far less likely to do if you were sluggish from alcohol-related poor sleep, or hungover because your 'one or two drinks to chill out' turned into a drinking till the early hours session.

I used to get so angry with myself for wasting lovely spring and summer days because by the time I felt up to doing anything, the day was more than half over. That simply never happens now I don't drink - it's not something I even have to think about. I can confidently plan that I'll be up at 7am on Saturday to leave the house at 8am, say, and have a lovely long day ahead of me.

I find that as well as not being well catered for at events, friends and family don't bother much with non drinkers either. When I have people over (quite often) I get plenty of wine, both red and white, and beer if there will be people who prefer it. When I go to people's houses I tend to be offered squash, water or a hot drink. Sometimes they have gone as far as getting a bottle of Shloer or similar, which is basically fizzy apple squash. I'm not 12. The annoying thing is that they see me drinking AF wine or 0% G&T, and often ask about it, so it's not as though they don't know such beverages exist.

Even worse is when I take my own bottle somewhere, and people drink a lot at first, then say 'Oh, I've had enough, I'll just have some of MaryEllen's pretend wine, hohoho' and I'm left with one glass for myself. It's infuriating.