The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Evening all
It was sunny today which makes all seem better!
@WendyWagon i hope the hospital appointment went well?
I’m leaving my current job role soon which will be massively disruptive to my life in terms of convenience initially but affords me an opportunity in a role I’m far more suited to and aligns better with my moral compass.
I wept with guilt handing my notice in but can feel myself coming back to life each day I tick off towards the end. I think I have toxic work Stockholm syndrome-who knew?!!!
We have tough old lives what with work, family responsibilities and all the other worries life brings. Let’s not be too tough on ourselves about finding less than helpful ways of coping for a while.
Im a fairly closed book in terms of sharing in real life and do wonder if that’s what’s got me into trouble in the first place. And it sounds like I’m not the only one on here!
The gliding swanlike in the surface whilst paddling manically below. Although I’m more of a seagull than a swan I think. Nowt wrong with that!

Thanks for the re-welcomes! Waves at @Carpetburn@elusivehope@FiloPasty and @Onewildandpreciouslife@eekwhatnow @REP22and @WendyWagon

After 60 days I’d really started to feel better, had lost over a stone and had found my mojo at the gym - I was enjoying moving my body and feeling energetic. I had one night where I gave into cravings and had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and I’ve literally drunk every day since. I’ve put on over half a stone, haven’t been exercising, feel lethargic and tired and am bloated and uncomfortable.

I can’t moderate. I’m not that person. I really need to realise this.

1st day of April tomorrow and aiming for a clear month.

I’m just going to list all the negatives that have slipped back in since I started drinking again…for me for future reference and for anyone who’s having a wobble.

1. Sleep - no more full night sleeps. Waking every night between 2 and 5 and feeling tired all day.
2. Food - out of control. Craving carbs and cakes and healthy eating has disappeared.
3. Weight - 8lbs on in 3 weeks. Fell bloated and uncomfortable
4. Digestive issues - welcome back indigestion and upset tummy
5. Mood - the calm contentment has vanished.
6. Feelings of self worth - I had started to feel competent and ‘switched on’. I’m back to feeling mildly harassed and exhausted

Honestly ladies - let me be your compass!! It’s not worth it 🥴

Oooh and two more!

1. Skin care has gone completely out the window - I had established a really nice routine and had started to notice a real difference.

8.Money! My salary is flying out this month - mostly on wine and snacks. For the previous two I couldn’t believe that I had money left over on payday.

I fully subscribe to the theory in Alcohol explained which is that no one can moderate. It isn't that we are defective in not being able to do it; it's just we've realised it and are much further along than auntie Beatrice who has one sherry at Christmas.
The people that don't drink every day just aren't in the habit of doing it yet. You/I/we can't moderate because no-one can...eventually.

Thank you for posting your list @WhatMaggieDid
and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. The feelings of self worth resonates so much. I was so annoyed with myself all the time. Here to cheer you through the next 60 days AND beyond.

I had work Stockholm syndrome until quite recently. Eyes wide open now. It's a bit depressing really but I'm trying to float above it all and be David Attenborough. Calm detachment and study is the name of the game until I can move on.

Oh wow thank you SO MUCH everyone. The support here is truly amazing.

I meant to post yesterday but the detox headache (I assume it's a detox headache) came back with a vengeance and I couldn't manage to look at screens.

Today (day 6!) I felt better, but that article that I was drinking in order to avoid finish, and finally submitted last week? The editors emailed me and asked me to make another revision! ARGH! It's honestly like the zombie/vampire article that keeps coming back every time I think I've finished it. In this case the requested change was actually good news, because a super-keen grad student made a discovery in the archives that is highly relevant to my argument (and supports my argument instead of countering it). But it meant I had to go and look at a primary source (in other words, do a bit more research). Anyway, I came very close to thinking I would drink while doing it. But I didn't. I spent three hours diving into digital archives, and added a few sentences and a few footnotes, and sent the damn thing back to the editors again. I just finished and I'm still sober. Woohoo! Am ridiculously proud of myself.

@WendyWagon what you said about me gave me a real boost. I'd love to meet up in RL should it ever happen to be feasible! I'll DM you. I'm in the South East. I've actually met a few MNers in RL before over the years (based on shared interests discovered through threads), and it's been lovely.

I'm also staying eagerly tuned for any news from you on the health or legal front!

@Lavrander I am indeed on an Easter break. I still have three weeks left (counting this one) before my teaching term starts again. I really want to make the most of it. By which I basically just mean lying around and relaxing and NOT DRINKING. I also have a big to-do list involving the house and garden, but I'm not going to worry too much about how much headway I end up making on those tasks.

@REP22 sending love to you and Sid. It is so helpful to me when people are honest about their slips, and are back straight away just carrying on carrying on.

Congratulations @FiloPasty on your 200 days, that's amazing.

@Onewildandpreciouslife that sounds like a book I should read. My DH tells me that I'm always disappointing myself because I have unrealistic expectations in the first place 🙄Congrats on the half-marathon, what an amazing achievement to have done that despite your health troubles!

@eekwhatnow not drinking on your holiday is the right decision. Honestly it's so not worth it. @WhatMaggieDid 's list provides a vivid illustration of why it's not worth it! Maggie I can tick off every single item on your list! Here's to both of us having a dry April.

@Carpetburn what an inspiring post, thank you. And you too @taylorean and @ShyMaryEllen .

Best of luck with the job change @Carpetburn . I'm sure it's the right thing for you based on what you say. I'm familiar with work-related Stockholm syndrome. Now that I'm older I'm somewhat better at setting boundaries, but my first inclination is always to say yes (to bosses, colleagues, students) without stopping to think about whether the 'yes' is compatible with maintaining my own sanity.

I'm feeling happy tonight, sleep well shipmates.

Just woken up after my first full nights sleep for weeks! Now enjoying a cup of tea in bed contemplating my day - the difference in just one day is astounding. The vivid dreams are back too - I rather like them. It’s like having a free cinema pass!

@Onewildandpreciouslife Your post about 'the gain' really resonated, because you can apply this to anything - not just being sober, but your career, your health, your diet - whatever it is you are trying to improve.

It's so true that blips don't define success. A blip happens - for whatever reason - but it doesn't undo what you have already achieved. If you can hold that thought and not let the blip spiral, it remains an isolated mistake, not the end of your alcohol free life.

Easter is going to present challenges for me. I am visiting my sister for a couple of days. She and her partner are very much pub goers, going into their local everyday. They don't drink at home, it's a social thing for them, and my sister has always been able to moderate, unlike me. So I'm going to be sitting on a rickety chair in their draughty local drinking Diet Coke at £3 a pop and probably craving a beer, or ten ...

@WhatMaggieDid thank you so much, that has really helped!! Hoping it’s lucky that I’ve had such turmoil about it before the holiday which might mean I have less when I’m actually there.

Well done @elusivehope stay strong!

Morning all.

I'm off out to see a friend not seen for six months.
The DH s lamb hunting. Victor Quartermain strikes again.

Hello shipmates,

Happy new financial year. 🎉 So thankful to you for your kindness and wisdom..

I can agree with every single one of those items on your list @WhatMaggieDid - especially the weight gain. I put on 8lbs in one week alone. Grim. Heading back in the right direction now thankfully.

It's the law of diminishing returns for me. Every time I have a wobble and recover I think "another bullet dodged" - but ultimately - and with increasing likelihood - I will run out of dodgery and the bullet will strike. And then it will be too late.

I definitely cannot moderate. To that end, I had some left in the house from weekend wobble, so I poured it down the toilet and flushed it away. The glass recycle bin collection was today so all cleared out and nothing to tempt further. We saw the binmen a few streets away and Sid stopped for a cuddle with one of them. He does love a tradesman, and is always happy to share the love and gratitude.

You are my lifeline shipmates. My lifeline and the anchor in the storm, and you're all marvellous. Thank you.

Strength and courage. All shall be well. xx

@REP22 I did exactly the same this morning. Had a third of a bottle of wine in the fridge and poured it down the sink. I like the feeling of it being the beginning of the new financial year - seems appropriate for a fresh start somehow 🥰

Top stuff - very well done. It's very much not an easy thing to do. Quite satisfying to defeat it and our cravings though. I live in an area very bad for limescale, so as I tipped it down the bog I thought "it might as well make itself useful at last". Not sure of the efficacy of vodka on chalky deposits, but I'm sure it did the pipes more good than me, hehe

Definitely a new start, New fiscal year, new spreadsheets, plus a hot cross bun if we're lucky (beware the M&S salted caramel ones - staggeringly high of calorie, more than a day's SW 'allowance' in a single bun 😱). Onwards, bravely onwards, together @WhatMaggieDid xx

Evening all.
I've just had two glasses of waitrose ruby grapefruit juice. Cor that's sour. I expect I'll pay for that later but I was dying of thirst and the milk was low. On a empty stomach at breakfast absolutely not.

I'm tickled pink tonight. Some tax back and more to come. About time.

Tomorrow the removal men are coming to do a quote.

So glad there's better news for you today @WendyWagon , love a rebate! x Nice to be tickled pink (as long as that's not too much ruby grapefruit juice) x

Great to see good cheer on deck tonight. I enjoyed the dreams too, and also used to describe it as having a free cinema pass. I rather miss them.

I haven’t lost weight in eight years- in fact I have gained about three stone! Some of that is inactivity (health issues) and some is because I had a low appetite when I drank, and it’s come back with a vengeance. It’s depressing, either way.

Here I am, posting after midnight again. I've always been a night owl, but it's getting a bit ridiculous. I need to try to improve my sleep schedule. I'm in this rather weird state at the moment where I'm staying up half the night. I'm still having bouts of headache and queasiness during the day (could that still be alcohol-related even though I'm now a week sober?!). Then late at night I start feeling energetic and perky. Sigh.

I heard back from my editors already and they are happy with the changes I've made and confirm that the article is DONE! Huzzah! It's only taken me about two years 🙄 And as my DH wryly remarked, once it is published approximately two people will read it 😂It's on a very niche topic. Never mind.

Went to town with DS2 today as he decided to exchange his birthday hoodie (which he himself had chosen, mind you) for a different birthday hoodie. When we came out of the shop he gave me a big spontaneous hug. He's such a sweet kid. We're not a massively hugging family so the moment felt special.

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge the image of hanging out in your sister's local sounds very unappealing! Good luck with it! Most pubs have AF beer now if that sounds any more palatable to you than diet Coke.

@REP22 I know exactly what you mean about the law of diminishing returns. I've been lucky so far, but I don't know how many times I can keep putting my body through this before I've crossed a point of irreparable damage to my health. Apparently the liver has amazing powers of self-repair, so we'll see. I just have to take it one day at a time for now.

I can't keep any alcohol in the house. DH is understanding. If he wants a drink in the evening, he has a drink and that's fine, but our agreement is that he'll pour out whatever is left. My impulses are just too strong. I'm not capable of living in a house with a liquor cupboard. It's a shame for him but he's used to it now.

Lovely news about the tax return, @WendyWagon ! It's about time you had a bit of good luck.

Sweet dreams to all (personally I could do without the overly cinematic ones, but that's just me!).

Morning all.
Bright up here.

Still no curtains up in my bedroom.

I have a short paid interview tonight. Research project. It will pay for Easter.

Hi everyone.
@elusivehopehope you got to sleep alright and congratulations for getting the article done. Very exciting to be able to say you're published!

I'm getting the wine o'clock messages from family. Finding it rather annoying.

The cravings are strong today. I’ve been at work all day and keep thinking that a glass of wine will be lovely when I get home - although even as I think that part of me really doesn’t like the idea of it. It’s so odd to have the craving on one hand and not fancy it at all on the other 🤯
Anyway I won’t secumb! I’m going to get a nice pizza on the way home and there’s some AF beers in the fridge so all will be well.
IWNDT

Straight to pub when I got there, they'd just finished work 😱 after the train journey from hell it was very hard to resist, but fortunately they only wanted a couple of drinks, so I didn't have to hold out long -then we went for an absolutely lovely meal - best meal I have had for months - and it occurred to me if I'd had a drink in the pub, my thoughts would by then just have been on having more drinks and I wouldn't have appreciated the meal at all, it would just have been an interruption to drinking!

Great stuff @PhantomOfAllKnowledge- that sounds hard but glad you held out. All those lovely meals we didn't fully enjoy or remember eh?!
@WhatMaggieDidhope you got through the evening alright. Funny how it creeps up on you. I think what you're experiencing is just the habit - that book ending of the week is so ingrained in us even if the habit is no longer appealing.

I'm even thinking about it now that it's a bank holiday - even though I didn't fully bring it to the front of my mind at the time, the long Easter weekends would have been an opportunity to actually have two days clear of hangovers because I'd just drink on the Friday and the Sunday - and that's what I'd think in my head - oh good a full two days nice and clear. Madness.

I've got really into cooking again this week and it's been a good way to close out the day. Not feeling as stressed as I have been. Today is going to be full on pamper. Gym, hair mask, pedicure, the works - I shall be a beautiful butterfly by this evening ready to sit in my clean ironed PJs and watch Young Sherlock. Lovely!

@WendyWagonI've been thinking about your lack of curtains in your room. Hope you have an eye mask. It's bright and noisy out there at the moment!

Morning all.

@Lavrander I do have blinds but I bought some pink silk Laura Ashley curtains two years ago! I can't reach the pole. The DH grumps and says you'll lose those in the sale.

I'm looking for a peaceful day today.
We had a different removal firm round yesterday and they must have thought we were minted. Huge quote.

I'd like to read a magazine today. I haven't for weeks. I've been listening to the news and it's not doing me any good.

@Lavrander I did get through - aided however by copious amounts of pizza. I really need to tackle my diet, which has gone to pot since I started drinking again, but I think I’m going to get through the weekend first. It’s going to be a busy one…

I’m working today, tomorrow and Easter Monday and have an event I’m involved in on Easter Sunday. We also have our best friends arriving with their two kids later tonight and on top of all that DH has a big interview on Tuesday for a promotion. Oh, and DS1 has left this morning for a new job abroad 😭

If I can survive the next few days without alcohol I can survive anything!!

@WhatMaggieDid that sounds v busy! It’s so hard to put yourself first when there is so much going on.

Im almost evangelical about how much better I feel now I’ve cut out the demon drink. In the early days I think I said that if I went down the booze aisle in the supermarket I used to play the song “Poison” in my head so I wouldn’t be tempted and yesterday I did a big shop and the song “Freedom” came on. I realise that probably sounds weird, now diagnosed ADHD which happened in the midst of all this I now think I’m probably AuADHD so not everyone probably has their own radio they can turn on.
Bottom line is I do feel that I’ve broken free, on the spinning rooms, blackouts, feeling embarrassed every time I emptied the recycling into the big bin.
I ordered a new dress in a size 12 and it properly fit, not even snug. I was a size 14 on top and a 16/18 on the bottom and now I’m a 12 on top and a 12/14 on the bottom, that in just over 6 months. Life changing!

Also for the Non Bar has anyone tasted the Peroni 0% beer with bloody orange? It’s like a shandy and totally delicious, will be perfect for warm weather & bbq drinks x

One day at a time all, Happy Easter Weekend Shipmates :)