The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@ShyMaryEllen - Sid was a bit taken aback, hehe - he's not used to light in that room. I did snap a better one, but was unable to edit out grubby former bedding in the background so this one will have to do! He knew the Dyson was looming large next, hehe.

Bless you - if you are tired, you are tired. The clothes piles won't go anywhere. Focus on you - you are far more precious than a tidy bit of room. Hope you can manage to get some rest, and better sleep.

Thanks for the heads-up on the documentary. I will certainly watch that. There were clips (possibly from that and another one of him as a child/young man called John's Not Mad) played over the closing credits of I Swear. I felt so much for him. At one point, the child John said "I don't know why this has happened to me and not to someone who's done something bad and deserves it." 😢

Look after yourself. Thanks also for the vitamin advice, which I think was a question asked by @Sunshinebound99 on the previous thread. Your experience and wisdom is very valuable and much appreciated. I still take my thiamine every day and think of you! xx

Keep me travelling a long with you! Stuck in my head now thanks @REP22😉 . Well done for taking that step. Sid look glorious in the light. Keep us posted on tomorrow's tartery-upper. All these small things soon add up. And it's FROMM the Old I travel to the NEW tralalalalalala

Come and Praise @Lavrander 😉 xx

Hi just joining this new thread :) it’s been one month for me without binge drinking and want to keep going.

Thank you as well ShyMaryEllen re the vit advice. Very helpful!

Ahoy there and checking in!

My pleasure. It is a small thing to do, but can have major consequences if we don't do it. I was told about it by someone on another board years ago when I first gave up drinking. She didn't know about it, and ended up with a very bad short-term memory that affected her life negatively - she had to give up her job as a result, which meant losing her house and downsizing, all after struggling and winning the fight against drinking. She was evangelical about letting others know how important it is.

Morning all.
More dippy eggs, I'm trying to get my protein up and off the sugar.

I howled buckets all the way home from the DS abode.Not sure what's wrong with me because when he was here the DS could be a difficult so and so.

And I've been sleeping under polyester! A crime against humanity. I asked the DH to put the bedspread on delicates as it was silk and he smugly informed me it was the lesser spotted polyester! No wonder my toes were itching.
I'm like the princess and the pea. Fwiw it was off eBay. John Lewis hotel silk (my arse).
It has cheered the DH up no end. I'm surprised the dog tolerated it. He's a diva too.

The sun is shining and I'm off to pick up a rug.
Have a good day my friends.

Wow how interesting! And how sad for her. Interesting because my short term memory has completely gone to pot!! And in my job I really need it. What I can’t understand is why it goes to pot when you stop but I probably need to do more reading on it.

Good morning Shipmates, another lovely day here.

Hearty welcome to the new thread @Sunshinebound99 and @PhantomOfAllKnowledge - lovely to see you here.

Lads, I confess that Sid and I overslept this morning, so the Vax will greet another dawn unchristened. But I did hoover the carpet AND I have pegged out some washing. And made a lovely batch of carrot and swede soup - Sid is Chief Taster. The march of progress goes on.

Sorry to hear of your distress @WendyWagon - I think it's only natural. Of course you want your children to be independent and succeed at being an adult - but he's still your child, whether he's 5 or 50. Living away from home, growing up, they're brilliant, but the undercurrent of "my baby's grown up and doesn't need me as much" is powerful. It's OK to grieve that. My dad would regularly cry when I went back to my own house sometimes, even though it's only a few minutes away. Although that might possibly have been because he would then be alone with my M for hours, hehe. He positively howled on the night I left home for good. It made me really appreciate how much he loved me. Sorry also about the sheets. What a travesty. The snag of a toenail on a polyester sheet is a horror never to be underestimated. You are certainly a princess. Does that make your DH the pea? Nothing wrong with a good, healthy pea 😉

I'm sure your memory will reassert itself in time @Sunshinebound99 - it can take a while for the drinking effects to fully fade and normality is reestablished. It will come. @ShyMaryEllen is such an asset to us with experience and fact-based medical wisdom. One of the things that I worry about very much is that particularly heavy drinking (which I was for quite a while) can lead to dementia-type conditions, including Korsakoff Syndrome. I take Thiamine, following @ShyMaryEllen's advice - it can halt and even reverse the symptoms, not that I have experienced any myself. Precaution never hurts. I need to have a good memory for work too. Plus, I am blessed cursed with having a photographic memory - it can be a nightmare, as I recall literally everything with perfect clarity; a rebuke from a teacher when I was 11 is, in my addled mind, as if it happened only yesterday. But it's normal for me and I don't know what it's like not having that. But the idea that I might have p~ssed away any memory at all fills me with horror.

Please don't worry about this or be afraid @Sunshinebound99 - you are here and you are trying your best. You have taken the brave and really difficult step of recognising that there's an issue and determining to be different. It's not too late for you.

Here's Sid, delivering his verdict on my soup. "Not enough liver." No Sid. No, there isn't. Bl~~dy hell. 🙄

Strength and courage shipmates. It will be alright. x

Morning shipmates!
I remember Come and Praise very well. It always boggles my brains that my peri-menopausal brain can’t recall all manner of useful information but I can recall the lyrics of all the primary school bangers I belted out as a kid. Give me oil in my lamp anyone? When a knight won his spurs? And of course the aforementioned One more step along the world I go!
It’s glorious sunshine here today and I’ve ventured out for a bit. Hope sunny Sundays are on the cards for everyone today!

@Carpetburn - there was one hymn in C&P called Colours of Day ("Light up the fire and let the flame burn; Open the door...") which we were banned from singing because certain elements "wouldn't sing it properly" and the rest of us laughed at them. It would be periodically reintroduced "as a trial" and then immediately banned again for the same instantly-reappearing infringements. Our infant school anthem "Aim High" was also banned, but that was for whole other reasons... 😉

@Onewildandpreciouslife wow 4 years that is incredible.
@ThistimeImdone well done on your 100 days.

Welcome @GreyhoundLurcher and @Sunshinebound99

@REP22 love seeing Sid it really brightens my day.

70 days yesterday, celebrated by sitting in the sun with a coffee then in the evening a belated mother's day takeaway. A real treat as it's not something we do often, in fact it's our first takeaway of the year.

Got some washing on the line listening to the birds with another coffee in the garden. Bliss.

Happy sober Sunday all x

@WendyWagon hope you feel brighter today. It's what we want, our children to be settled, happy independent but must also be hard when they move out. Sometimes I get fed up of all the running around after DDs but my mum says when they don't need you anymore you'll miss it. I can believe it, I feel like a spare part when they are out waiting for them to call or come back.

@WendyWagon I completely feel for you. I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster it is when kids leave home.
@endlesswashing congratulations! These garden coffees are filling me with joy too.
Have decided to treat sober spring evenings as an experiment and see how I can make them something to enjoy.
A lot of it is about just not ruining the next day isn’t it? I had the loveliest sunny walk with my DD today which I would previously have spent worrying about how much I had drunk the night before. Then got loads done around the house and garden.
Evening is creeping in now so I’ve lit some candles, put mood lighting on, made myself a chai latte (never had one before in my life) and taking some downtime to myself to catch up. Google tells me the perfect summer evening at home involves self care of the grooming variety so I think next step might be a bath and some sort of lotion.

@REP22 that story just made me laugh out loud. I loved Colours of Day (and all the other bangers)!

From what I understand, brain damage is not at all a given, but when it happens it is because of a lack of B1/Thiamine, and as it is easily available and cheap it just doesn't make sense not to take it as a supplement for a while after stopping drinking. The doctor on Soberistas said the same when I briefly joined their ranks a few months ago.

Both of my children left home when they went to university and have stayed 100-200 miles away. In both cases for good reasons such as jobs and partners, and I'm happy for that, but I do miss them both and wish they lived nearer. In my head I'm still the age I was when they were little (a swift glance in the mirror disabuses me of that notion, sadly) and the fact that I'm getting older and they aren't just away for a few years growing up, but have actual lives and houses of their own is in some ways just starting to sink in. It's a pain in the proverbial - you spend all those fraught years training them to be independent and then they go and do it. Ingrates, the lot of them 😉.

Very good to know and thank you again for sharing. I’ve ordered some b1 and will definitely be taking it!

that must be hard re the kids. My son is only quite young still but you’ve obviously done an amazing job raising them as they are independent. Still must be hard. I hope my son will stay close to us by staying in touch when he’s older but I know he will need to tread his own path. I’m still close with my dad at least.

Your son being young is 100% a reason for not drinking. Those with long service on the Good Ship Sobriety may remember that I had a difficult time with one of my children who resented the years when I was drinking. Between us, I think there was more going on in her own life at that point, but it is undeniable that she had a right to feel aggrieved.

If I could turn the clock back and undo that there is nothing I wouldn’t give. You have the chance not to put your son through any of it. If ever it feels too hard to do it for yourself, do it for him?

Sorry I’m late to the party but HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to @Onewildandpreciouslife. That is a fabulous achievement. Thank you, and so many others, for all your encouragement and support ❤️

I agree so much. He is one of the key reasons I’ve stopped. He seems really happy about it already and he’s still in infant school! They pick up so much.

My husband has also stopped for now although he says at some point he wants to have the odd glass of wine with dinner when out. We will see .. he is slightly better at doing that than I am but it’s a slippery slope. he’s got big fitness goals so that is helping atm.

im sorry to hear about your daughter. We can’t turn back time and I’m sure there is so much you got completely right. None of us are perfect. I wish I could turn back time too and erase some days of bad choices but I can’t. So I very much hope I can continue as I am now. I already feel so much better. Normally I would have horrendous pms at this time but I feel ok ! It is crazy to me that I am not really agro. So already seeing some small wins even after a month.

I feel guilty on this @ShyMaryEllen especially now my parents are getting older, as I live over 5 hours away. It’s hard but there weren’t many job opportunities where I grew up and once I met my husband I knew I’d never move home.

I’m on holiday again, not drinking but feeling wistful at the fancy glassware. I have so much more energy, am going to the gym etc whereas I used to pack all the gear and be too hungover to go. I find myself watching other tables at dinner, but they genuinely have 1/2 glasses of wine with dinner max, my husband and I often had a bottle each then would start hitting some neat spirits under the guise of being connoisseurs, dickheads. I’m sure they were happy to take our money but I’m sure judged harshly especially drinking so much with kids in tow. Sane we went for a walk this afternoon and old us would have found a bar and probably sank a bottle then too. Sad days really. Why on earth do I even have the question in my head that I can just have one.

anyway I’m sober :) woo!

Welcome @Sunshinebound99

@Carpetburn & @REP22 even now if someone says to me “cross over the road” I start to belt out “my friend, ask the Lord his strength to lend, his compassion has no end, cross over the road” and I think I’m hilarious:)

Morning all.
Thanks to everyone for the congratulations- it feels a bit weird because it’s just who I am now. I used to really struggle around milestones in the early days, because they would make me panic about “forever”, but really it’s just making that choice one day at a time, until it doesn’t even feel like a choice any more.

And believe me, if I can do it anyone can. I am so grateful I got off that downward slide when I did.

Morning all.

I've cricked my neck chaps and I have lots to do for the estate agent. Hopefully it will ease.

Light and bright here.

Good morning shipmates,

Another Monday dawns with a clear head. Feeling grateful for sobriety today.

Nice to see you @CarrotSeeds 💖

Sorry about your neck @WendyWagon - hopefully the discomfort is short-lived and all goes well for the EA.

@FiloPasty Sadly, I think that question is ever-present in there somewhere. It comes to me regularly. Sometimes it's easy to bat it away; sometimes it's nigh-on impossible. Well done for not caving in. 🏋🏻‍♀️❤️ I laughed at your internally completing the C&P hymn, I do that sometimes, hehe.

Here's a fresh hell for you all to contemplate - I didn't just have the standard C&P - I had the MASSIVE version with sheet music. For, lads, I was in the recorder chorus for assemblies. About 20 of us along the side of the hall on little stools, all piping along merrily to the C&P greatest hits. Including descants. I never really noticed the teachers' faces but I'm sure there was more than one rictus smile firmly hitched in place. Dear lord. Never mind torture by pliers, electric shocks, waterboarding or the rack - haul in an 8-year-old playing London's Burning on a recorder and the wrong 'uns will confess to ANYTHING. 🪈😱🪈

A sober weekend + sunshine means lovely outdoor walks for me and Sid. Yesterday we went into the woods and found some bluebells already out! Rare that there's a daffodil/bluebell overlap, but it did gladden our hearts all the same.

Strength and courage. Keep going. You're almost there and it's going to be OK. x