The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Hi all, way behind on this chat but wanted to say I’ve made it to 100 days (101 days) and doing well!

had my first full sober holiday and it was anything but sober. It was full of joy and energy and by the end of it I saw some alcohol on a neighbouring table and felt a bit sick. So that’s great!

I know holidays are a really tricky time and if anyone started again on hols don’t worry. Keep going now.

it’s really nice to have got to this point and I want to keep going.

Congratulations @Sunshinebound99 !!!! That’s so lovely to hear

100 days is such an achievement!

I've got a holiday coming up with three boozy friends. I think it will be tricky, as we've got a cottage, so I assume we'll be in in the evenings. If we went out I'd happily order soft drinks, but as it is I'll be sitting with them as they keep pouring the wine.

Yay @Sunshinebound99 100 days is such a fantastic milestone, I bet you feel fantastic :)

@Onewildandpreciouslife I’m going to add that on my Sky planner (nearly said tape that but that just shows my age!) I started watching gardeners world yesterday, I’ve always watched so many cooking shows, so gardening and birdwatching shows are now my bag :)

@ShyMaryEllen do you drink the AF options? I just bring along the pretend wine now and pour away too, helps with the habit. I hope you have a lovely time with your friends.

I need to go and water my garden. Maybe a nice bbq later, this weather is lovely :)

Gosh that does sound hard. Take some alcohol free alternatives. There are so many now. We took three spirits which gives a bit of a natural buzz as well as the alcohol free sparkling Chardonnay and wine and alc free beers. We felt like we were still joining in but without any downside. We did this with some very boozy friends and didn’t notice any difference other than we were making sense by the end of the night.

wishing you luck with it and a very good time

Thank you all!! X

Amazing @Sunshinebound99 you should be hugely proud of yourself!

Thanks, all. Yes, I am the Queen of AF options😀. I'll take some fizz and a bottle of gin with some nice tonics. I'll also chop up some lemons and freeze them to use as ice cubes - it's a handy tip of anyone's not thought about doing it.

That's wonderful about your 100 days @Sunshinebound99 .

Best of luck with your holiday, @ShyMaryEllen . How close are your friends I wonder? I hope they'll be considerate. Most of my friends enjoy drinking, but don't make me feel conspicuous for not drinking. I agree that bringing loads of AF stuff is the way to go.

Speaking of thoughtful friends, DH and I went round to a neighbours' for drinks last night, and I got very grumpy because I had forgotten to put any AF drinks in the fridge to chill for myself. I was grumpy anyway because I'm always exhausted on Friday nights after work, and regretted having accepted the drinks invitation. 😳DH was trying to convince me that I could just bring a bottle of room-temperature sparkling water and that that would be a lovely drink. I was not convinced. 🙄Anyway when we arrived at the friends' house, it turned out they had a lovely cold bottle of AF fizz ready for me. It was so good of them and I stopped sulking immediately (!).

I really need to be more organised about having cold AF drinks on hand though, because cravings can pop up when I'm not expecting them.

In general I'm feeling very calm and happy though. It's so nice to wake up on a Saturday and not feel headachy and hungover.

@WendyWagon fingers crossed that your new meds will make a difference!

@taylorean I have a (perhaps entirely incorrect) hunch that we're talking about the same small city (based on a vague recollection of something you said quite a long time ago, ha). In any case I do feel very lucky to live where I do, close to the river.

Hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday.

Bloody hell what a day.

Woke up early and enjoyed a cup of tea by myself, first time I‘ve been able to do that in a long time!

Went to DS football match without feeling sick and hungover.

Went to an open day in the afternoon, sat out in the glorious sunshine. Avoided temptation of the free drinks and stuck with AF beer.

Then DD cut her finger quite badly, there was blood everywhere. Felt so bad for her but she was very brave.

Went home and had a lovely BBQ in the garden with AF prosecco. Felt great. Then DS somehow managed to fall down the wall (only 1m high luckily) and scraped all down his leg on the rough stone. More blood and tears.

DH and I went in to tidy up. Kids stayed out playing swingball. Heard screaming- DD had whacked DS in the face with the solid plastic racket and chipped his front tooth quite badly. Luckily the tooth isn’t wobbly and doesn’t hurt so should be ok to wait until Monday for the dentist. But poor DS is very upset and shocked.

I‘m so glad I was sober today so I could deal with these accidents calmly and responsibly. My kids deserve that.

Bloody hell @VillageIdiott what a day! Lots of bonuses to a sober life, being present for my kids was one of my main drives, and mine are as accident prone as yours :)
I hope tomorrow is more restful

Oh wow @VillageIdiott what a day! Sending you some very well-deserved 💐and 🍵. Your poor DS with his tooth! My DC used to love swingball.

I'm awake because my addict brother just rang me from the US on messenger. It's the first time I've heard from him since Jan 2025. He wasn't in a good way. I don't know if he was high or if his brain is so addled now from the meth that that's the way he normally sounds now. He's just so different from the person he used to be. So angry and sad, and every second word is 'fucking' or 'fuck'.

He's camping in a leaky mini-trailer without running water or electricity.

I feel like I kind of messed up because after about 10 minutes I asked him about his using 😰He knows I've struggled with alcohol and I was hoping we could have a frank conversation about it. It didn't go down well. He got very angry and said he was hanging up. However, he couldn't find a way to stop the call on his phone, so we were still chatting for a few minutes after that.

I just wanted to post about it here because my emotions are so strong. I'm enormously glad he's all right and I'm touched that he rang me, but I wish I could have kept him on the phone for longer.

Addiction is so horrible, ultimately it takes everything away from a person. I understand why he doesn't want to talk about the drugs, the feelings of shame are enormous. I won't mention it again to him unless he brings it up himself (not that I'm likely to hear from him again any time soon).

I'll just keep messaging him regularly which is what I've done for many months now. Just letting him know I'm there, and acting like things are normal. That's all I can do really, keep the lines of communication open.

Sorry that I'm venting here; I hope people don't mind. I'm glad to be sober right now. I get these feelings of a kind of survivor's guilt (how is it that I'm living this nice boring middle-class life, and he's living in poverty) but realistically I know that if I were depressed and drinking, that would be pointless; it wouldn't bring me any closer to him. I do love him though. Fuck.

It's dawn and the birds are singing. I'm just going to hold onto the fact that he reached out to me, and he's alive.

@elusivehope that must have been distressing :( You are a good sister. I hope your brother can one day get sober just like you have. You are proof it is possible.

Morning all.
I had a good sleep so feeling tickety boo.

My late brother was an alcoholic @elusivehope . He stopped drinking a year before he died. I gave up to donate a kidney to him. He was kind, generous and talented. All my single friends fancied him. Blond, 6'2", hazel eyes. He was just so nice.
We were too late to save him. I hope you can keep the lines of communication open with your brother.

I finished watching The Falling. I loved it.
It made me cry. Love can be so powerful.
Two years the DS ago asked me the age old question 'what is life about' and I answered love. I didn't know he'd met someone. He was the only one of his group not coupled up. He was out buying Denby yesterday with the GF!

Thank you for sharing this. How incredibly hard. At least he is still in touch and even if it doesn’t seem it what you say and the example you set and the love you have for him will be getting through somewhere. I hope he can find a way to overcome but if he doesn’t all you can do is love him and live your best life.

I have a son and I worry about drugs. And alcohol. It’s so rife and so easy for good people to get hooked and find themselves in a place they can’t escape. The fact I managed to get addicted to alcohol shows me he will also be at risk. But I want to set a good example for him now

I'm overwhelmed, having read about a cracked front tooth, a donated kidney, and a very vulnerable brother. You are heroes ❤💙💚💛💜

Thanks so much everyone for the consoling words about my DB. They really have helped.

@WendyWagon I remember you mentioning your brother in the past, but I'd forgotten. Much sympathy to you. You know what it's like. The gift of a kidney that you gave him is amazing. ❤❤❤My brother is (was) just a genuinely good person. Decent, unselfish. Would do anything for anyone. I'm worried that the drugs and alcohol have changed him beyond all recognition. He's an Iraq war veteran too. Which means that there would be help in the US for him if he wanted to go to rehab, but he's shown no inclination to do that yet.

The family I grew up in is full of paradoxes. Books were highly valued, but there was an underlying layer of instability, chaos and mental illness. There was never any money. My siblings and I are completely different: me, who moved to the UK and became an academic. My estranged DSis, who is a single mum and fundamentalist Christian. And my DB, who had a job and a family but lost it all through addiction. Every day I have a sense of how fortunate I am, and how the sliding doors could have opened into another life, instead of the stable existence I have now.

I just have to stay sober in order to hold onto the amazing gifts I have.

@Sunshinebound99 your DS will be OK! I have the same fears but I think that if we talk to them about our own experience, they will have a head start.

Sorry this post is so heavy. I'm having a good day so far, I've finally managed to get a huge pile of soft toys to the charity shop so that's a win 💪

@WendyWagon about life being love. Yes yes yes

Brunch today was successful. They handed out prosecco, I had a moment of ‘just one won’t hurt’. But reminded myself that I was there to have fun and not spend the whole time wondering how I could top up my glass without anyone noticing. So I just said no.

I knew everyone there (village life) but no one I’d call a friend was there. However, I still had a really great time and good conversation without the need for alcohol. Very pleased with myself!

Plus no injuries today!

Well done @VillageIdiott , it sounds like you smashed it this morning!

@Sunshinebound99 wow! 109 day is fantastic! Well done

@VillageIdiott what a day but glad everyone is ok - and well done on the brunch today

@elusivehope watching family members and those we love struggle is heartbreaking . You sound like a wonderful sister

@WendyWagon also wonderful sister, donating a kidney and being there for your brother. life is love- love that you gave that as your answer ❤️

@REP22 how was paddle boarding? Need a Sid pic 🌊

@REP22 @TheMentalMentalLoad @elusivehope
you asked so here is some of my 50 before 50 list. Nothing too exciting and pretty achievable - I have 3 and a half years so plenty of time. I left out a few more personal goals 😊

Travel & Adventure

1. Zip line (conquer that fear of heights!)
2. Wake up somewhere new on one of my birthdays
3. Travel on an overnight train in Europe
4. Visit Myrtle Avenue near Heathrow for plane watching
5. Complete Jacob’s Ladder and Kinder Scout walk in Peak District
6. Solo visit to Berwick-upon-Tweed
7. Take the Eurostar somewhere new
8. Go on an overnight ferry
9. Go glamping
10. Visit more GoT filming locations (Spain/Croatia)
11. Visit at least one of the Scottish islands

Health, Wellness & Personal Growth

1. Be able to do 10 press ups
2. Complete 30-day plank challenge
3. Go on a meditation/wellness retreat
4. Learn a dance
5. Have a go at journaling again and stick to it for at least 30 days

Food, Baking & Cooking Skills

1. Make pierogies
2. Make pasta from scratch
3. Learn to make really good bolognese
4. Learn to make some good AF cocktails
5. Learn food preservation (canning, pickling)
6. Get better at piping icing
7. Bake a really amazing celebration cake for myself when 1 year sober 5/5/27 and every year after!!

Home, Garden & DIY

1. Grow some vegetables in my garden
2. Plant a new rose bush
3. Decorate my bedroom
4. Learn a new DIY skill
5. Digitise old photographs and organise them on the cloud

Style & Self-Confidence

1. Get some bold
2. get better at eye makeup
3. Buy at least 2 new classic wardrobe staples

Learning & Creativity

1. Learn to communicate in another language (Spanish)
2. Read a book published the year I was born
3. Watch all seasons of Lost
4. Write a letter to myself to open at 60

Social, Fun & Giving Back

1. See a stand up comedy
2. Visit 5 new parks near where I live
3. Volunteer and help out around Christmas time

Under style and self confidence it was meant to say:

Get some bold new glasses

Wow it sounds like everyone has had a good weekend. I’ve been fairly busy hence the radio silence - apologies.

@TickleMeElmo1thats a really great list. You’ve given me some great inspiration for mine.

I don’t want to say too much as I don’t want to out myself but I help a wildlife rescue out sometimes and sometimes help to release the specific animals. I’ve been doing a bit of that this weekend and it was great.

Sober me just has so much more hours in the day and fire in my belly. I love sober me.

I fell off the wagon at the weekend. I am so ashamed of myself. I have absolutely fucked it. Need to get to a meeting today.