The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

We’re a similar age @TickleMeElmo1I haven’t given much thought to my 50th…I think I’m mostly in denial.

I think I might buy the kings rose or the David Beckham one David Austin have brought out. I want to make it to 100 days then that can be my reward.

Evening shipmates. A pleasant bank holiday and just nice to have some properly hot weather for the first time this year, not spending all day waiting for brief bursts of the sun and saying 'it might clear up later'.

Struggling tonight with missing what I used to call 'end of holiday denial drinking' - I'd nearly always stay up drinking on the last night of a holiday/bank holiday feeling I was postponing the back to work blues. I've got a 6am start tomorrow for work travel so it would be very stupid to stay up in any circumstances! As always, having no alcohol in the house keeps me 'safe'.

Hope everyone has enjoyed the fine weather!

@TheMentalMentalLoad that’s a good reward. It was by boss turning 60 this year that gave me the idea of the list. He’s working his way through one for his 60th. I only have 10 things so far so will be thinking it over and get my list completed so I can start ticking things off. I’m an introvert with a bit of social anxiety thrown in. My life is pretty boring so need to add some fun to it 🤣

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge you will feel so much better after an AF weekend when you wake up tomorrow morning.

Thanks for the kind comments about my rose! I'm actually ridiculously proud of it because I planted it myself during lockdown (it was a bare root rose) and I never expected it to grow like that. It does make me happy.

@WendyWagon now I want to know the saucy name of your mum's rose!

I love your rose quote @REP22 . And that seaside view is absolutely gorgeous; I'm happy for you and Sid. I surmise that the tricky interpersonal relations involve your M. Honestly you're a saint to put up with her. Shudder at the thought of preparing a roast dinner in this heat!

@ShyMaryEllen I love the Miss Marple comparison, but believe me, the interior of her house would be tidier and more restful than mine! 😁

@CarrotSeeds the rose is Graham Thomas; I looked it up and apparently it's been discontinued in favour of healthier varieties? It's true it's prone to black spot, but it's flourishing nonetheless. I am amazed and envious to hear of all your David Austin roses. So many! I would love that. I have two more in the back garden and keep contemplating getting another one, but DH doesn't really get how addictive roses can be, and wants me to plant, quote, 'Something That's Not a Rose' (his gardening knowledge is even more limited than mine, ha). I'm inexperienced as a gardener, but have vague dreams of creating a beautiful rose garden when I retire. Maybe I don't need to wait till retirement... as you say, sobriety opens up a lot of opportunity for new pastimes. Hmm.

@TheMentalMentalLoad I'm so happy you had such a satisfying day, with reading and gardening. Sounds lush. I love the idea of you buying a rose as your 100 day reward.

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge good luck getting to bed safe, I know exactly what you mean about the back to work blues.

Good luck to your DD @TickleMeElmo1 ! I think DS1 is almost finished with his exams as well, but I'm not sure, given that communication with parents is not his forte, ha.

It's good to hear from you @EastCoastDamsel and best of luck to your DS with his GCSEs! In my experience it's more stressful for the parents than for the young person! Being stuck in limbo regarding the future sounds hard, but I'm glad your DH has the interviews; that's good news.

I had a bit of a close call today. The heat is getting to me. These temperatures are great on holiday, but not when I'm trying to work, argh. I had to participate in a kind of onstage debate session with my colleagues this morning (we field questions from students in a big lecture hall) and it always makes me nervous to 'perform' in front of colleagues. When it was finished, I wanted a drink so much, just to calm myself down. I kept reviewing all the less-than-perfect things I had said in my head, over and over again. (I've read that this can be a symptom of ADHD.) It would be really nice to be less self-critical, sigh. Anyway, the craving did pass and I'm very relieved not to have broken my streak (day 10 today). My left eye has been twitching all day, however, which is a sign I'm feeling stressed. Gah. I just need to keep soldiering on to the end of the academic year. My finalists started their exams today, and I feel sorry for them as I'm not sure the exam halls are air-conditioned...

Still, every time I look at my rose, I feel happier. It's true that completing small domestic/garden tasks does amazing things for one's sense of well-being.

Sleep well all and stay cool.

A peony is not a rose @elusivehopebut looks quite like a rose, just dies back to zero each winter than poof comes back magically in spring bigger and better than the year before. It’s purely magical.

Morning all
That was a warm night wasn't it.
Peonies are beautiful.
I love the idea of buying a beautiful plant to mark our journeys. Who needs a coin when you could have a rose! I've not managed to keep a rose flourishing myself but I am inspired to get one when I reach a year. Or at least something lovely. Perhaps an olive tree (although I think they're quite tricky in the winter? )

Well done on getting through your debate and after it. I'm glad you showed it can be done and rode out your post event stress @elusivehope. I feel like this time is your time.

I'd love to hear more of your list @TickleMeElmo1. I tried to make one before 40 and didn't make it. I was drinking then and I just don't think I had as much of a sense of anything is possible as I do now. I think I could start my 50 now!

Morning all.
Another rose fan here.

I have many in pots waiting to go in. They are all my IRL name. Gifts in the main.
I'm one of those people who like certain colours in a garden and not others.
I collect pelargoniums and have a huge magnolia grande flora which I bought to climb up our front wall. It's still in its pot, I'm not leaving it if we move.
I was trying to buy some plants on Saturday but the DH was monitoring me. He can kill a plastic cactus!

The raspberry and rhubarb fever tree pop got pinched so I can't report on that.

Good morning (just about) shipmates.

Thanks for the support lads; VERY much appreciated. The roast was nice, and we didn't eat until about 7.30pm so not too mad in heat. We're not too far away, @TheMentalMentalLoad - we're in Pembrokeshire. Very nice.

You're right @elusivehope - it is a very difficult dynamic, too much to go into here. I endure quietly most of the time, but it's worse when there are others present. I have been informed that DSiL (who is lovely) is "the daughter I always wanted but never really got". It goes from being told I am loved (alone) to being utterly unacceptable and the target of palpable hatred (when DB is around; I am an unfavourable comparison and a diversion of attention). But no matter; I daresay others have it far, far worse than me, and I have learned (with counselling) to live with it. I had only had Sid a few months before he was master of the side-glance eye-roll. We have a largely happy life. I just don't like the holiday moments when they bubble up. Pity me not, however, I am very fortunate to be here. 🙂 I'm so glad you hammered away the craving; that can't have been easy. Another bullet dodged. Much kudos to you.

Love the idea of your list @TickleMeElmo1 - like @Lavrander , I'd love to hear more! I try to take the experiences that come my way these days. A very serious glimpse at death back in 2020 (I had to be "brought back" with the zappers and adrenaline) helped me to be less afraid of trying stuff - and then, if I get to be old and immobile, I will have the knowledge, memories and photographs to prove that I did the stuff! I really love your confidence that you know you will be sober; that's a joy to read.

How are you going today @PhantomOfAllKnowledge ? Hope you're having a good day and the six o'clock alarm didn't ring TOO harshly (sorry Monkees😉).

@WendyWagon - the rasbperry and rhubarb FT stuff sounds good; I might have to look that out...

In the meantime, a nice walk last evening ended at a small harbour-side pub watching the fishing boats as the sun went down. My general AF option (I usually stick with soft drinks, but I do love one of these now and again) was heartily endorsed by Sid (and a photo-bombing holiday interloper).

Strength and courage brave friends. Stand firm. It is going to be alright. xx

@TheMentalMentalLoad

A peony is not a rose - that ought to be the first line of a poem.

@REP22 I woke up at quarter to six and got up quickly before my alarm went off. I certainly counted my blessings on not having any level of hangover to contend with - predictably with the heat it took me a while to drop off last night. The work thing went well, though and back to normal 7am alarm tomorrow.

@elusivehope golden showers, filth.

Evening all. I have not enjoyed the heat today at all. I’ve had to work in it and it hasn’t been pleasant. Thankfully it’s started to cool down now. I’m sat in my garden enjoying my water features soft trickles.

@WendyWagon golden showers.... @TheMentalMentalLoad soft trickles... what debauchery is this?! Donald Trump's White House water feature?!? 😦 hehehe xx

Evening shipmates
Im terribly spoiled as I live a 5 minute walk from the sea but I steered clear today as was too hot and too many people.
I skulked down about 6:30pm and enjoyed chips from the chippy on a quieter and cooler beach. The dog also enjoyed a frolic in the sea. I wouldn’t dare take him when it’s busy - he would definitely send children flying with his exuberance. We have several beaches near me and dogs can go on 2 of them in summer. But he doesn’t read signs and thinks he can go wherever he likes so I have to be militant about keeping him on the lead till we get to the correct one! I have been shamed in the past when he’s legged it to the FORBIDDEN area and then swam merrily out to sea amongst lilos and paddle boards while I’ve stood red faced on the shore futilely calling him back.

@Carpetburn You are lucky! It's about 2 hours' drive where I am to the coast. We did go at the weekend, but, as you'd expect, the beach was packed - too crowded to be comfortable as beach balls seemed to be flying about everywhere - so we didn't sit for long and ended up spending more of the day walking.

When we had a dog, we tended to find that the dog-friendly beaches or areas were quieter (provided there was one) so if there is that option, we still go to them even though our little pal died some years ago. We like seeing other people's dogs. If it's a beach we used to visit with him, we write his name in the sand.

I was looking in a shop window at the weekend and felt something wet on my leg - looked down and a spaniel was licking me 😄Brought back happy memories!

Morning
Where we go on holiday near Marbella there is a beach that dogs are allowed on. I absolutely love to walk down there in the morning and see all the Spanish dogs having a splash around. I'd love to live near the sea. Arthur loves a splash in the river but hasn't quite got his head around waves and tides. Very suspicious water behaviour.

I would have happily paddle boarded next to your dog @Carpetburn

The M&S blanc de blanc is nice but no better than Thomson & Scott. Also tried one from the co op - tilumuqui zero. It's about £5.50 and very nice.

Morning shipmates.

Today I am wearing ( in the spirit of Jed from the fast show) cropped linen trousers and a bamboo T-shirt. So far cooler
The Brazilian girls are coming and the DH has been mutant. He's tidied up and moved stuff. None of us can bend down due to various aliments but he can squeek on things like paying for cleaning.

If I could choose I'd have a thatched Dorset cottage near the sea. Log burner in winter and a cottage garden . I'd swim everyday.
My parents had one of the Chalet things ( rip off fees). Sadly they sold it.
The DH is not a swimmer so it won't happen unless I get my shares sold. I do have a Dorset family name so I might be okay. Lucky you Carpetburn

Morning all.
Did you mean to say your DH has been militant @WendyWagon ? The idea of a mutant DH made me smile though!

Good morning shipmates,

Still alive here, near the coast. Most beaches don't seem to allow dogs here, though some do. B has decamped to non-dog friendly beach, so will find something that will accommodate both Sid and M when I have signed off. What a jolly holiday this is.

Here's Sid, loitering at the quayside at sunset, fervently hoping that the deep-sea trawlermen might need an experienced cabin boy/mackerel-gutter who can commence his employment at very short notice.

Strength and courage, dear friends. We shall endure. xx

Twas militant.
I didn't get my Brazilians today.
Turned up late and I had a meeting in the house so I was peed off.
However I might have found a gardener

I'm not surprised you are peed off @WendyWagon - sorry they let you down. Good news on the gardening front. I found one to do M's garden at £15 per hour and she's worth every penny (and more). Absolute godsend. x

Snap Rep. £15 an hour for gardening

@REP22 @Lavrander I will share some of my list when it’s done/ so far have 28 things , some really boring 😂

@Carpetburn my plan is to retire by the sea, maybe even sooner now DD is at uni but all depends what she decides to do after. I have a feeling she might be back home for a bit! She’s studying in Durham and is loving the area so maybe we will end in the North East Coast somewhere …
.
@REP22 £15 an hour for a gardener is really good!! I do enjoy it but I’m not that great at it - I find it therapeutic to pull out weeds

I finally made a booking for a targeted cancer screening that is included in my private insurance I get through work. I’ve been putting it off for months as I didn’t want blood work to show elevated liver enzymes - silly
I know as I’m not even sure they will test that but they will for sure ask about my drinking habits. It’s not until end of July and I’m excited I will be able to say I don’t drink and by that point I’ll be nearly 3 months in.

Thanks @TheMentalMentalLoad , I love this post! Peonies are a great idea (not that I've ever tried to grow them before).

@Lavrander you said, I feel like this time is your time. God I hope so. I've tried to stay AF and relapsed so many times. This week hasn't been the easiest, but I'm still sober so far. I keep telling myself, 'You are feeling good because you are not drinking. You are feeling good because you are not drinking' like a mantra. Normally as soon as I start feeling physically better, I think I can have just a couple drinks again and it will be fine. 🙄

My energy levels have been rubbish this week, but I think it's at least partly down to the heat.

In news that puts all my trivial worries into perspective, I feel very sad tonight because it looks like a local child may have drowned in the river very close to where I live. In fact DS2 had been swimming there with his friends in the very same spot earlier today. Shortly after he and his friends left to go home, the accident apparently happened. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Dozens of emergency vehicles arrived and the river, river path and nearby bridge were all closed to traffic. Sorry, I hope this terrible story hasn't triggered anyone 😥