The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Good morning Shipmates,

Sid very disgruntled last night. Stage one of our journey was hampered by a severe road closure/diversion (accident on the A419); it took over 6 hours to do a 2hr47m trip, partly through single-track villages. Never mind. We're on our way sea-wards today @WendyWagon - hope you do manage to make it to the coast this year.

A very warm welcome @KittyScherbatskaya - I'm glad you've found us. There are so many wise, kind and understanding people here to support you without judgement. I don't know where I'd be without the lovely crew here. You're doing so well already. The urges are awful, I know. Different things work for different people but, for me, it was important to trat myself with an alternative - chocolate milkshake was my go-to for a while - so you feel a bit less "deprived". None in the house so I can't be tempted (I might think I can moderate; I cannot. If there's any about it will get drunk). Getting into PJs in the early evening, washing my hair, anything that puts an extra couple of steps between the "f~ck, I need a drink" and the heading out to the shop journey, to give yourself longer reconsideration time. And telling myself firmly "no. it's poison. It is going to kill me if I don't stop." Reading quit lit really did help me in the early, worst, stages. Catherine Gray "Unexpected Joy" and Clare Pooley's "Sober Diaries" were the best ones for me. And trying to "play it forward" in the eyes of my friends and family if I'm caught out following the first sip - "domino number one" in the falling-down procession. I do my best to say true for my dog Sid. The look of sadness and hurt in his eyes if I have a slip and let him down pierces my soul.

Someone upthread made a helpful point which stuck with me (apologies - I will link to it in a bit) that we should look at drink like an allergy. It IS a poison that WILL lead to ruin and suffering. They said that people with a nut allergy don't think "just one nut", "a couple of nuts in the pub tonight" - because the anaphylaxis can be fatal. It hit me because I'm allergic to nuts and have had several near misses, one of them particularly serious. I can tell myself that I'm allergic to alcohol because, really, we all are. Problematic drinking only ever ends one way if unchecked. Sometimes a read of other threads on MN in the alcohol - where desperate people are reaching out because a partner, parent or friend cannot stop drinking - provide enough impetus to desire to be different.

BUT - it's SO NOT naught but grim misery, denial, gloom and boredom. The sober life is a full, more fulfilled one. Not wasting a sunny jolly morning whimpering in a darkened bedroom in a pit of mortification, parties where you are lively, in the moment, and with happy memories of a wonderful time, not having made a total tit of yourself. Less of the nagging little aches, nausea, better skin, reduced calorie intake (often with some welcome weight loss and better muscle-tone) and the strength that comes from knowing that you have faced your fear and conquered it. That you are mighty.

Also not leaving yourself to other consequences that have a long reach. A quick squint at an online "morning after calculator" can be chilling. You put in what you drink, when you had your last one, and it tells you approximately how many hours it will be before you are under the limit for driving. A whole bottle of wine, last sip at midnight, could well mean that you're not safely under the legal limit until lunchtime (or later) the following day. You might think you're OK to drive - but you can't control the actions of others - these days, if someone accidentally prangs your car coming out of Lidl's car park, through no fault of your own, and the Police turn up, ALL drivers will get breath-tested as a matter of routine. If you're still a bit over from the night before the result will haunt you for years and may even cost you your job and get your name in the local paper. 🥶

I'm sorry - that all sounds a bit preachy and a bit full-on for early am Saturday. It is HARD to fight the cravings - but I guarantee it is worth it. The freedom and empowerment and the truly better days ahead are amazing.

It's a lovely feeling isn't it @VillageIdiott - the sober morning feeling and freedom from The Fear never gets tired for me. You're doing really well. x

Here's Sid this morning, welcoming you to your bank holiday weekend. Look at his little face - now, that's worth staying sober for, isn't it? It is for me today, anyway, despite his levels of "unacceptable flatus" during last night. 😶‍🌫️

Strength and courage. It's going to be OK. xx 💐

Hi all, apologies for being absent, life just gets in the way sometimes.

Had to check my app today to see how many days alcohol free I am. 306 today, woo hoo!

Hope everyone is doing well, new and old, let’s kick alcohol out of our lives for good x

@KittyScherbatskaya i think the urge for me was always about trying to escape whatever stress / strain / bad day I’d had and I thought of alcohol as a treat as stress reliever, a pleasure, but it wasn’t and it was making me ill.
It does take a while but there is a mind shift in understanding that it does none of those things and often make it worse. God love my teenagers but I often would be pouring the wine as they were stressing me out. Honestly now I don’t drink, I’m so much calmer and I can’t tell you how much easier it is to function in a healthier body, a well rested and clear headed one too.
I do pretend though though I’ve been known to have a zero rum and coke, order myself a take away and then drink most of a 0% bottle of wine ( @VillageIdiott the M&S £12 Pinot Noir is the best red I’ve found) after a particularly stressful day. It works for me.

Also you need to be ready, have words in your arsenal to protect your sobriety. Have a “ “why” my teens had asked me to stop, I also was starting to get health issues.
So I’ll have a Diet Coke, I’m having so health issues so I’ll just have water, I don’t drink whatever works for you. You might also get asked multiple times. You need to stay firm. Easier said than done but it does get easier. My circle all now know I don’t drink, they often do me non alcoholic versions of cocktails at parties and have been supportive now they’ve seen the big changes in me. I’ve not looked this good in ten years!

You can do it x

That is definitely me @FiloPasty, I turn to drink for relaxation and get it messes my sleep, gives me shame and guilt and has started to affect my health. Fortunately DH isn’t a big drinker and my local social group aren’t at all. It’s likely to be Christmas or family gatherings that put pressure on and those are some way off. Just taking it a day at a time at the moment.

Family gatherings were the things I was most worried about too. But honestly if you can make it through the first hour and become a social anthropologist- aka the Richard Attenborough of family gatherings; you won't want to join them. You can still have lots of fun. Be prepared for family being the worst for the looks of disappointment that you're not joining them. However you are doing this for you. You do not owe them shame and anxiety.

@REP22 you have my sympathies on a horrific bank holiday journey. I only ever do a long one by leaving at 4am as I have had a few 8 hour crying in the car episodes yuck! Sid looks no worse for wear though :)

@KittyScherbatskaya i promise the relaxation will come, I definitely feel more zen these days, not sweating the small stuff.
A few of us have teens on this thread and it is odd trying to manage sobriety whilst watching them start their drinking lives. I’m just happy that I can get in the car at midnight or whatever and be there for them if needed. I wasn’t really before. I was often drinking 2 bottles of wine at night then doing the school run so that’s sobering isn’t it : ( I also want to say I had the best Christmas ever not drinking, I bought my overpriced M&S options and really enjoyed the whole day.

@Lavrander this one, they also do a red at my local. You can go on the co op website as a lot do a click collect thing and you can put in your postcode and see what options in your locals.

Advice for the newbies on how to handle not drinking when socialising - you'll discover that you're part of a trend! You just wouldn't have noticed before...

And you'll notice that the non-drinkers are great fun, and not drinking for a whole host of reasons. Though there's no need to ask why.

For me, AF beer was good at first. Also ice cream and sour sweets. But only for the first month or so - life got busy, I started feeling healthier, and I stopped thinking in terms of having rewards for a horrible day/week!

Thanks @REP22 and @VillageIdiott for the kind words. @VillageIdiott I had very much the same thoughts when my DS was ill last weekend; thank god I was sober enough to look after him and not off my head myself. When the DC were younger I had to call my DH to come home from work a couple of times because I realised I'd become too drunk to look after them. (The room would be spinning and I'd have to go to bed.) I still cringe at the recollection.

@FiloPasty you said, A few of us have teens on this thread and it is odd trying to manage sobriety whilst watching them start their drinking lives. I’m just happy that I can get in the car at midnight or whatever and be there for them if needed. This is so true!

Congratulations @Carpetburn and @Adsy1988 on those long stretches of AF days! I'm in awe.

Welcome @KittyScherbatskaya and well done for having made it to day 17 already.

@WendyWagon going to the sea sounds lovely. I've had some wonderful short breaks in Bournemouth and Weymouth. Would love to go again.

My uni just carries on with lectures and classes as normal over the bank holiday. Very annoying. I've had a day today of just relaxing though. I meant to do some work in the garden, including tying up the enormous climbing rose that is threatening to obscure our front door, but I didn't muster up the energy. Last summer the rose actually came crashing down and completely blocked the front door 😳I'm not much of a gardener and clearly hadn't pruned it properly. It's a gorgeous rose though, a yellow David Austin one. It's just Too Much Rose for our narrow terrace house!

I'll check in here again tomorrow as Sunday is always a tricky day for me in terms of anxiety and drinking cravings.

Stay serene everyone!