The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Checking in.

Congrats on day 28 (now 29!) @endlesswashing what a fantastic achievement.

I actually missed my day 200, which came on Friday. Still sober, still not drinking.

Had another lazy weekend, haven’t really done much at all. Probably more of the same today. I would still class myself as young (37) but I am finding the older I’m getting, the more I actually need a reset at the weekend before a Monday morning. I need to get some life injected into me.

@Adsy1988 wow congratulations on more than 200 days that's amazing!

Just popping in to recommend the Elton John 0% prosecco. Really nice!

Poker night went great and I won the most money. Turns out sober me is quite good 🤑

Day 210 here and it has definitely got much, much easier now that I've done family celebrations, Christmas, Winter holiday in the sun for 3 weeks, birthday, lunches out etc. A lot of those firsts have now been ticked.

The Jury's out on the AF wine at the moment. I tried some red from Majestic last night with dinner as my partner was keen to try it. I'm just not sure that it works for me at all. I find Nosecco (M&S) does if I need to take something to a lunch or celebration but when at home and I want something the AF wine is just missing the spot completely.

I prefer Crodino, Cornish Pentire with tonic, Martini Vibrante or just a good old Trip drink.

But so many of the hurdles have been hurdled, so much of the obstacle course has been climbed. got round etc and I can see quite a bit of it now in the rear view mirror so to speak.

For those in much earlier days I was there myself. But I promise it does get easier with time and perseverance. But you have to crack that obstacle course and go through it. Don't keep setting yourself back and starting the obstacle course again and again.

Welcome @chocopuffs it’s a cracking bunch of shipmates here. And has made a massive difference to me in terms of supporting my sobriety in my “real life”.
@HorrorFan81 what a brilliant update to share. I’m finding my gym habit doesn’t align at all with booze and I much prefer my gym habit!
@endlesswashing don’t feel to disheartened about an extra few pounds. I was exactly the same and then at the end of 2 months lost 5lbs. Just think my body needed time to adjust and I’m not eating nearly so many biscuits as I did to get through the first 6 weeks.
@eekwhatnow a fab update and love the idea of the print. A reminder of something utterly brilliant! Yay!
@Lavrander the holiday sounds marvellous! Glad you had a lovely well deserved time. It’s also reassuring to see that AF options on holiday are becoming much more available and accepted!
@WendyWagon I’m murderous without good sleep. I hope you manage to rest up in peace today.
I’ve managed the gym today plus a long muddy dog walk then wrestled the dog into the bath-he hates having a bath! Oh the indignity of being soaped beautifully clean, wrapped in towels then gently blow dried by your doting owner. Barbaric!!! The dog is currently not speaking to me but he generally forgives me quickly!
Happy Sunday shipmates! Here’s to a steady week.

@Carpetburn that's reassuring.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

150 days here :) weight has fallen off me, despite my initial indulgence in all the snacks. So this week I’m going to start getting some clothes on Vinted.

Congratulations @Filopasty new clothes are well deserved!

Morning all!
Sitting on a packed train. I don't understand people who say that they would be bored if they didn't work. Assuming health and money was the same I would have loads to do! Have made a decision to be clear with myself what I do this for. It may be stressful at times and, at the moment pretty depressing but God Grant Me The Serenity and all that. It could be much worse.

Congratulations @FiloPastythat sounds like an excellent plan. I do wish they'd go back to the old sizing on Vinted. It takes me twice as long to find something now but you can still get some gems if you get the filters right.

Good morning shipmates, hope good weekends were had by all.

Sid has been watching the Olympics - I think he'd like to have a crack at ice-skating. I don't think he could cope with the lycra.

Welcome @chocopuffs - I am glad you've found us. This is a great, safe space to be. 34 days is brilliant!🙂

Hope you're feeling a bit better today @WendyWagon - that's great about DS's house, I hope he will be very happy there.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

Morning shipmates.

I have realised that I am lonely. I had a brief bit of attention lately from someone and I loved it. It gave me a boost i didn’t realised I’d missed so much. I’ve been single for just over a year and although I had a few dates in the beginning there hasn’t been anything for quite some time. I miss being wanted and desired. That said, I do not miss the mess a man brings, or sharing my lovely bed. I don’t ever want to live with a man again.

Thats quite deep for a Monday morning.

Hope everyone is well.

Well, I've passed 90 days since my aberration. I'm well out of the danger zone, and feel much as I did before the lapse, in that I don't think about drinking much at all. The difference is that I had cultivated friendship groups who only knew me as a non-drinker, but now they don't, so there is work to be done there.

I have a group meeting tonight that usually ends with a trip to the pub. My last drink was after one of those meetings, and I do enjoy going out with the members, but they will expect me to drink wine, and I'm not sure I'm ready for explanations. I haven't gone to the last few pub trips, but I'm thinking about going this time. Not to drink, but to socialise. I don't know. Last time I stopped I just carried on as before, going out to the same places with the same people as I'd done before, but just drank lime and soda. Over the years, some of the 'drinking friends' dropped off, and people who were used to seeing me drink got used to me not drinking, so it was all easy. I've made such a mess of things.

@TheMentalMentalLoad, you have lost a (faux) friend in alcohol, so it's maybe not surprising that you feel lonely. Something that was a big part of your life is not longer part of it, and much as you are better off without it, it's natural that you will miss it. It's a bit like moving on from a toxic ex. You might know you've done the right thing to move on, but that doesn't mean you won't miss having them around.

Morning all.

Well I fainted last night and cracked my head on the headboard and later fell out of bed. Now these two things would have been frequent in my boozing days but I was stone cold sober!
Doddery again. I'd had a funny day going hot and cold so good knows what it was this time.

To those wanting to loose weight the first year sober I lost two stone and then the same the following year. I used nutricheck. I decided after a few weeks sober I was going to treat myself to posh food. It turned out cheaper than booze
I'm a big fruit eater so it was mangos and cherries, that sort of thing. When the DC were small they'd pinch my supplies.

I have a friend visiting but she doesn't drink. Most of my friends don't.

That’s a really interesting way of looking at it @ShyMaryEllenand a really good point.

@WendyWagoni am envious of your posh fruit choices. I might steal that idea and indulge in some M&S pre prepared fruit as they always have a lovely range on offer and it’s cheaper than booze.

Oh no @WendyWagon - sorry you hit your head. Hope you will be OK. x

@TheMentalMentalLoad - I get lonely too. Just me and Sid at home. I went through a spell of being deeply sad that I don't have a child or a significant other. But I do have freedoms that I cherish, like having the bed to myself and being free to do what I want. It's an odd sort of grief for me. It has got better over time.

@ShyMaryEllen - I know for myself that some of the messes I think I've made are probably far worse in my own view than those of others. I have the guilt and mortifications factored in, which others' don't have. I'm quite harsh on myself really, though I am trying to be kinder to me. It's hard to unpick a lifetime of ingrained criticism and belittlement. You could always go, just for a bit, with a poorly kitten or some other issue on the back burner if you need to make a hasty exit. If someone in my friendship group was known to be a non-drinker but had a wobble, I really wouldn't think badly of them. I'm sure they'll still enjoy your company. Anyone can have a slip, it's how we climb back up and keep going that counts. 💐

Thanks, @REP22. It's not that this lot think I am a non-drinker, it's that they think that I am, and I don't want to explain. Not that I have to - I could just order a soft drink and the chances are nobody would notice. I know that really, and I also know that it doesn't matter what they think. I suspect it's more that I'm scared about the results of the last scan, and really can't have a drink.

I might leave it again this time. We only meet monthly, so there'll be another 30 days or so under my belt next time. I need to stop overthinking😀.

I hope your head gets better soon, @WendyWagon. Do you know what caused the faint?

I don't blame you @ShyMaryEllen - the explaining can be exhausting. x

@ShyMaryEllen I would defo go along, I honestly don’t think people will even notice if you’re not drinking. When I first started going out after I quit I pretty much took my car with me everywhere so that was an easy excuse as to why I wasn’t drinking.

Now, if asked (which is incredibly rare) I just say I’m no longer drinking for health benefits, and that I can’t really ever see myself drinking again because of how much I do not miss it. Not once has it created an awkward situation.

No idea why I fainted @ShyMaryEllen . I'm breathless again today but seeing the doctor later this week.
The husband has fixed a bed handle to help get me out of bed. After yesterday he thinks I'm not safe. I feel a right old codger. Mind you better a sober one. I don't think the doctors would be as helpful if I still drank. They are trying to get me working!

Overthinking those conversations seems to be something we all do. I've found most people are pretty MEH about it but it's the ones that aren't that are the hardest and we tend to focus on those difficult conversations the most.
One thing I have had happen a couple of times lately is colleagues have said 'we're going for a drink now but assume you won't want to come' . I appreciate the sentiment but maybe I would have liked to have gone but now I'm all on the back foot thinking they didn't want me to come and I'm not sure if I want to go anyway but maybe it would have been nice to go and put the world to rights and if you want to do overthinking that's it right there!

Evening shipmates
@WendyWagon i hope you’re ok. Sounds like a scary thing to happen and you’ve had so much to contend with of late already.
Can very much relate to the experiences of others in terms of loneliness. I’m generally quite a solitary creature who is very happy in my own company but I have noticed a slight drift in some friendships that were alcohol centric in terms of socialising. I can still go out and be around them but I feel a bit like my not drinking makes one or two of them uncomfortable. One checks what I’m drinking every time I see her which I do find irritating tbh. But I feel so much better not drinking I just don’t see myself going back to it. So that’s what I say!
And ultimately if things drift because of alcohol then perhaps I need to broaden my circle!

Evening lads! I’ve been reading everyone’s updates and realised it’s been quite a while since I wrote anything myself. All well in my world, but this effing weather is not conducive to joy so my mood has been slightly subdued, and when it is I tend to withdraw somewhat. My little dog is nearly 15 and she has some joint issues so veterinary advice is to keep her moving as much as possible. Which means I’m out in aforementioned effing weather four or five times a day. Thankfully not always for very long, and I have all the gear, but it’s still a chore. And I regard it as penance for the awful time I put her through at the end of my drinking - she is my guilt and shame, in canine form. So out I trudge resentfully, but her happiness is, if not quite infectious, an amelerioration. (I think I just made that word up)
Too many posts to comment individually, but it’s great that the board is so busy. It’s a lovely, safe space.

@WendyWagon sorry you hit your head and hope you’re ok!! And thanks for the posh food inspiration, I think that’s the way forward.
@ShyMaryEllen It’s one of the worst bits, having to explain that you don’t drink. I found it tricky this weekend. If anything I was the one who kept bringing it up as I was so self conscious and then banging on with the long winded explanations because there are a billion reasons why I’ve stoped and I didn’t know which one to pick! Hoping I start handling that better soon.

The decision was taken out of my hands - nobody wanted to go, as the weather is awful. I had decided not to bother, but I didn't have to say so, which is good. I was good at staying sociable and not drinking, but I think my current situation just means I am being extra vigilant. I know I don't have to explain anything, but as I've been before with these people (and had wine) I didn't want to risk someone getting a round in or something and being stuck in a difficult situation. They are group members, rather than close friends, too, which makes a difference. I realise I am overthinking, and know that I've said more than once that most people don't notice who drinks and who doesn't, and it's true, I promise. It's knowing I'm ill that's made the difference, I think. I really don't want to talk about that, and it's always in my mind.

Good morning Shipmates,

Glad you had a bit of get-out in the end @ShyMaryEllen - I generally find that the fear in anticipation of a thing is worse than the thing itself, but it sounds like not feeling obligated to go was the best thing for night. Sid was happy to stay in and watch the ice skating.

Nice to see you @FaithHopeCarnage - I struggle in this weather too. Your little dog is SO lucky to have you. It was for my own dog, SId's predecessor, that I made the effort to get sober for. Much guilt and shame here too for the quiet patience and acceptance she showed of me at my worst. At best I was a mediocre owner; she deserved so much better. She came to every SMART meeting with me. Sadly she passed away only a month after I was discharged from the support service (pancreatic cancer stole her away too, too soon). Every sober step you take with your lovely little dog (even the soggy ones) is a precious gift to her. Amelioration is definitely right. The acceptance and unequivocal love we get from our pets is boundless and worth fighting for. Sid brings me a peace and joy I feel I have no right to deserve.

Strength and courage. One foot in front of the other. It's going to be alright. xx