The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

thank you for sharing that @FiloPasty

I am on HRT also as there was a strong suspicion that my breakdown was linked to being Peri. I feel I am one of the women now suspecting ADHD at this stage in life.

I definitely need to speak to my GP about my meds anyway so will ask for a referral via the RTC route. I am also, at long last about to access therapy for all the trauma from my childhood and broken relationships.

I do feel an overwhelming sense of sadness about it all, and wonder if some therapy would be good. I hope it’s helpful to you x
I was thinking about starting a seperate adhd thread as I’d love to have some support from other people going through the med titration route.

Oh please do. Ill definitely follow along whilst I work out my own path

Thank you so much for the support and good wishes my lovely Shipmates; you have no idea how very much your words mean to me. I appreciate you so much. ❤️❤️
I'm sorry to be on a bit of a downer at the moment. All shall be well. Sidney is keeping me true.

Love to you. xx

@REP22 thinking of you, you're doing so well

I hit 350 days this week, so close to a year... I had some pretty shocking news at work this week. Big reorg happening and my role is being deleted, didn't expect it at all. Now things have settled I can see opportunities in the new structure but it's going to be a stressful few months before I know if I have a job. Old me would be using it as an excuse to drink daily I reckon. New me went straight to the gym when I heard the news and am now deep in planning mode to position myself to end up in a good place. Feel so clear headed about it all. A year ago I would have been hungover and exhausted the whole time

Sorry to hear about your job @HorrorFan81 - must be very stressful. Those are quite the impressive coping skills you’ve built there 💪🏻

That’s tough news @HorrorFan81 there’s similar happening at my work and it’s such a miserable time for everyone. You’ve done amazingly well to avoid the “sod it” trap so many of us fall into! I’m already leaving for another role which will mean relocating as it’s a bit too far to commute but it’s also an opportunity to get away from a job that’s been destroying me slowly for a long time. I feel very guilty about it as am horribly trauma bonded with my colleagues but my job was the main reason for my drinking and so I’m hoping this could be a new beginning. Or perhaps just a different kind of gloom but a change is as good as rest I’m hoping!

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife - not sure it's 100% healthy, ran so hard on the treadmill I nearly threw up 🙈 But I guess it is still better than vomming after half a bottle of gin!

Goodness that's alot of change @Carpetburn but it definitely sounds like a positive one. Am sure it's been a hard decision to make but well done for making such a big move

@HorrorFan81 wow congratulations that is a fantastic milestone. Rubbish news about the reorg but love your frame of mind and approach to it. Sorry it will be a stressful journey.

Oh a tough, tough day. Got to admit I thought about drinking. Made it safely to bed and feeling emotional but glad to get here. Wonder how I managed days like this with a hangover too. I think I was a big one for numbing things.
Anyway, jumping on here to say goodnight and feel lifted reading your posts @Carpetburn and @HorrorFan81 so thank you.
Hope your day was OK @REP22

Morning all

Hang in there @REP22. You're such a source of strength on here - turn it on to yourself and you'll be alright.
@HorrorFan81- almost a year - brilliant! So sorry to hear about the re-org. I went through something similar last year and there were so many times when colleagues talked about drinking. It's hard but I'm so glad I kept a clear head. The serenity prayer helped A LOT.

Hope things are a little better today @eekwhatnow

Greetings from France! AF 1664 beer is not at all bad. I've been drinking AF fizz with others who have been on the champagne and whilst the fizz is not the best I still feel part of it so not like I'm missing out. Just needing to retire to bed a lot earlier than others. People are complaining of the rooms being too hot and that's why they're waking up so thirsty. Hmmmmm.

Morning shipmates.

Another broken night.The DH is using the en-suite for his shower at 4am as we have some sort of air lock. I'm becoming deranged.

Bad news on the kitchen. The dividing wall is structural. I'm also advised not to have blue if I'm selling. Another beige option awaits.

I have a niece with ADHD and a friend diagnosed at 55. One medicated, one not. @TheMentalMentalLoad my niece was denied a diagnosis by my sister due to our late mother (definitely bipolar) and my niece feels she went through education unsupported. Since the doctor offered her a pathway she's felt understood. A lightness came over her and she stopped comparing herself with others in the family.

Morning everyone, I was up early and went to circuits but I’m feeling really low today. DH was in A&E on Monday night - all fine now but gave him a scare. DS has some job issues and I’ve got a bit of a funny tummy. Not sure if it’s stress or a bug. I was supposed to have the opticians and hairdressers today but I’ve cancelled both.
No urge to drink as I know how much worse it would make me feel, but pretty fed up and lacking in motivation.

IWNDT 💜

Good morning Shipmates,

Amazing milestone @HorrorFan81 - but sorry about the work situation. You owned it so well by hitting the gym instead of the glass. And also to @Carpetburn, @Lavrander and everyone else whose work situation is dragging them down. My own work is currently undergoing a big reorg and it's terribly unsettling. Not helped by the fact that it's increasingly clear that some aspects are being "progressed" by those without a clue what they're doing or the future implications. It can be very, VERY hard not to push the "f~ck-it button" and numb it away. I am a very big culprit of numbing it out @eekwhatnow - that was my game plan all along when drinking. I hope you'll have a better day today, with plenty more to follow.

Maybe you wouldn't have to go full-beige @WendyWagon , what about beige with a tasteful cornflower painted mural/motif? Hope the airlock gets sorted soon. x

@Lavrander hope you are having fun in la belle France. It's nice to wake up with a clear head and fully enjoy the trip, having spent the time and money to get there. Will have to try the AF 1664. AF beer is the only AF substitute I really like. I find the taste of AF spirits a bit triggering, but the AF beer I do enjoy. Bonne vacances!

@WhatMaggieDid -I'm sorry to hear about the A&E visit; that's never pleasant. I hope all will be well. Sorry to hear about your tum - Sid is similarly afflicted today. He's been eating grass (don't try that at home) and his little belly is gurgling away as I type. But he's not a sickly dog, so I'm sure his is just a temporary thing (probably not helped by watching "Dogs Behaving (Very) Badly" on telly last night. It's one of the many things he deems 'frankly, unacceptable'). I hope all will be well with you soon. x

Thank you for the continued support; so very much appreciated. You're the best shipmates afloat on these choppy old waters. ❤️ I am sorry I was on a bit of a downer. The aforementioned work situation is getting me down a bit, and increasingly hard to jest myself out of forebodings. Also a friend has been seriously injured in a dreadful and freakish car-related accident. And then I decided that it would be nice to explore a bit of volunteering for a local charity, only for it to turn into a full-on session about how wonderful my M is and how I would be better if I was more like her. It led to a bit of a meltdown when I was back at home with Sid. Anyhoo - I am feeling better today. Not drinking certainly helps.

I fought long and hard for my sobriety. And, as I think I've quoted before - "I haven't [fought to] come this far only to get this far". It is worth it, to keep going. We don't have to crawl from our beds in a fog, scrabbling desperately at the low-hanging fruit. We can climb with strength and dignity to reach the good plums at the top. Here's Sid, from his holiday a few months ago, to remind me that if we keep trying, keep climbing, and refuse to give up, then we can make it intact to the top, and the view from the top is lovely. I must remember to remember this more often. Don't mention plums to Sid though. Not since the Operation of Which We Do Not Speak. 🫢

Strength and courage, brave noble friends. x

Good to see you sound a lot more chipper, @REP22. You know where the PM button is if you're masking a bit though?

I'm off out for lunch in a minute. I expect wine will be drunk (not by me), but there will be a few drivers, so not by all. I think it's 86 days since my last 'occasional drink'. I've marked Day 90 on the calendar - I'm not counting day by day, as I still prefer to see my Dark Period as a lapse in 8.5 years of sobriety. I may be deluded, but I think the thing to remember is that the truth doesn't change - it's the way we frame it that matters. I have LFTs in a couple of weeks. but they are at the hospital, so I won't get the results, which is infuriating. All results of tests ordered by the GP go straight on the NHS app, but hospital ones stay on their separate records. I'll be recalled if there is anything life-threatening though. There should be an appointment with the liver nurse in April/May - the bloods will be a precursor to that.

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen - you're lovely. And such an inspiration to me and others here. I don't think you are deluded at all. The framing is everything. Frustrating about the results though - I think you should be allowed to know.

Have a lovely lunch. xx

Thanks @REP22. I am glad you’re feeling a bit better 💐

Glad to read you’re feeling a bit better @REP22, keep on keeping on.

I dunno what has changed in my work recently, typically January/February are busy, but this has been off the chart mental. Said to a colleague earlier I don’t think I’ve managed to catch my breath since returning from Christmas.

Still sober here, not long until I hit day 200. I pray this is the time, that I have cracked it, never to have an alcoholic beverage pass my lips again.

Besides all the madness with work, I feel really quite happy about the future. Probably the most positive I have been about my future in, probably ever actually. Got my health, I’m not quite 40, a couple of holidays this year planned, a friend’s wedding in September (no hen/stag parties, thank the Looooord!!!) and just looking forward to the brighter nights coming in.

Ever since I was a child I have HATED winter, just the most depressing season of the year for me personally. I love being out and about with the sun on my face. The lighter nights are coming Shipmates, hooold!

Hope everyone is having a good, and sober, Wednesday, whatever you’re doing.

Evening shipmates!
So much going on with everyone -life is a tough old gig at times but it’s good to be here and see how despite the various crap life keeps slinging our way we stay sober! Sending lots of good wishes to everyone soldiering on right now. You’re all blooming fabulous.
Ive spent a tedious day in non stop meetings most of which seemed to serve no useful purpose. But I feel lighter in myself even though there’s stress ahead in terms of new job in new area. One thing at a time.
And I exercised all my rage away at the gym so that’s a win!

Morning all.
So glad you’re feeling better @REP22
@ShyMaryEllen I find you so inspiring. I agree re framing.
@WhatMaggieDid sorry you’re feeling so low. I think this week has been particularly crappy. Sending you hugs.
Things feeling slightly less hopeless here as the week has progressed. Busy day ahead.
You know @Adsy1988 I’m quite scared of spring and summer coming. I feel like I’ve got to grips with sobriety in winter, eg lots of cosy blankets, teas and early nights with a book, but can’t picture it in summer. And I struggle a bit when it’s light all the time - maybe overstimulation- not sure.

Morning all.

Hair do day here.

More tax and penance to do. I shall be ok this afternoon.

My pink cloud has gone. I want it back!

@eekwhatnow totally get the summer drinking anxiety but I’m telling myself I made it through a super boozy festive period without a drop and I think it’s the being outside with a cold glass of something in good company I’m seeking. I haven’t smoked cigarettes for many years but whenever I go to Spain I get the urge! But it passes.
@WhatMaggieDid i think the pink cloud comes and goes a bit. But I’m still relatively early on so maybe it sticks more later! I’ve had some really good periods of feeling super motivated and peaceful and then random glooms that come out of nowhere!
I have had an industrious day not at work- picked up prescription that’s been sitting at the chemist for 2 weeks, paid for and ordered my new glasses, visited a poorly friend and helped DD with some project work.
Im now reclined with a blanket on the sofa watching a movie. Cant ask for more than that!

That’s a really good point, I didn’t really consider that sunshine automatically means wine time for so many, myself included up until July last year.

That said, I think I would still prefer a sober summer over winter, feels like this winter has lasted a lifetime.

Hope everyone is doing well today, the weekend is within touching distance. And for those who are struggling, play it forward. Imagine how horrible you would feel tomorrow if you had even one glass of wine tonight. And let’s be honest, we’re all here because it was never one glass, it was a bottle, and then some more.

I’m currently sat on my lovely comfy couch with my moggie, had to go and buy some new smart trousers for my eldest son who has a college interview tomorrow, so will be early nights all round to make sure he’s good to go tomorrow. I’m definitely more nervous than he is!

Too true @Adsy1988 i wrote down how I felt after drinking and use it if I’m ever tempted. The absolute misery of it just puts the brakes on for me.
Although I did get kinder to myself more recently. About a year ago I wrote this:
Whenever you are thinking about drinking read this and remember the guilt, misery and shame. You are treading a dangerous path. You are not doing it to be social. You are being secret and antisocial. And you’re not fooling anyone.

Still took me months and months to get a decent stretch again but my last blip I wrote this:
A mistake but you knew that. Now get back on the wagon. You’re learning!

ive said here before but I’ve got about 2 years of journal entries berating myself for being a terrible mother, colleague, partner and general failure. I feel so sad when I read them but there’s positive times too-which are always when I’m off the sauce!
Those little notes just remind me of how big an issue alcohol was and still would be for me.
To the weekend shipmates! May it be smooth sailing for all.