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The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

994 replies

REP22 · 07/01/2026 11:35

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

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IChooseTo · 21/01/2026 11:22

On a lighthearted note, I would very much not recommend replacing alcohol with vicks vaporub. I accidentally put too much round my nose this morning and ended up with the taste of menthol down the back of my throat. Revolting! Probably why is says not to do that on the tub...

Carpetburn · 21/01/2026 20:09

Congratulations @endlesswashing @eekwhatnow and @WhatMaggieDid on your milestones! Celebrating success on this voyage together.
Totally agree @Lavrander the smaller numbers are SO hard. I must have done day 1-3 I don’t know how many times. It’s easier now in terms of it not being a constant thought. Although I’ve been here before and ballsed it up with my “see I don’t have a problem I’ll just have one” tricky little brain. But I’m wiser now so am not listening. I do recognise I’m still pretty vulnerable to that mindset if I’m not careful.
@elusivehope that group sounds wonderful! It’s such a treat to share an interest with likeminded people. My DH is a very practical man and thinks a book is torture. He has plenty of hobbies which seem tedious to me but i do have a DD who loves to read like I do so although I suspect my books are far less academic than your group!
@IChooseTo wise words on the Vicks! Hope you’ve recovered from that little shock now!

elusivehope · 21/01/2026 21:52

Hi everyone, just checking in on day 4. In theory I haven't had a particularly busy day, but I feel exhausted tonight. It's just getting back into the swing of term time and daily teaching I guess.

@Onewildandpreciouslife good point about the snacks! There is no dearth of snacks in my house (ha) but I often get distracted and forget to eat at normal times. I have the dubious habit of being starving when I start to cook dinner, and snacking as I cook... it might work better if I had a late afternoon snack, instead of waiting to eat until I'm already low on blood sugar.

@IChooseTo it does sound like our dinner-cooking habits are similar. I use to drink like a fish the whole time I was cooking, and I'm definitely not as prone to that as I used to be. But it's still a very vulnerable point of the day. You're right that AF alternatives really help in that context.

@eekwhatnow congratulations on your three weeks, that's fantastic!

@lavrander I appreciate your encouraging words about small numbers of sober days being important and worth celebrating.

@WendyWagon that sounds like a great decision about the car, I hope you enjoy it!

@Carpetburn yeah, that reading group is actually very special. I'm also a member of a 'normal' (non-academic) book group, and I love that one too, but the academic one is impressive due to the sheer level of collective geekiness, ha. For awhile some slightly pompous types were going, and that put me off, but it seems to have returned to the down-to-earth, unpretentious vibe that drew me to it initially. So that's good. It's good that your DH has hobbies he loves as well. It doesn't matter much what your passion is, I suspect, as long as it's something that you find nurturing.

Went to my women's AA meeting again tonight and found it helpful, although my mixed feelings remain. I was thinking more about why it is that I am not as tolerant of the AA Big Book now as I was the first time I encountered it, and I suspect it's partly due to the kind of phenomenon I've heard women on MN talk about before: how after you've gone through menopause, you start to feel bolder and more empowered and more in the mode of 'I don't give a fuck'. I just have a lot less patience for patriarchal men than I used to. I'm not as afraid of offending people as I used to be. I still believe in being kind when at all possible (as I said yesterday), but I'm more matter-of-fact now about views I disagree with. Whereas disagreement used to worry me more. When I was younger, I had passionate views, but tried much harder to be conciliatory if that makes sense. Anyway I'm thinking at the moment that if the Big Book and I disagree, that's fine. I don't need to angst about it. But I also don't need to engage in mental contortions and try to make myself agree with it when I don't.

OK, am going to try to have an early night for once. Sleep well shipmates.

WorkMess2025 · 21/01/2026 22:23

Evening everyone!

Very quick check in from me. I'm absolutely shattered and suffering the lurgy so kindly shared by DD. 9 days for me today, with 19 total days since the 1st Jan. Feeling easier as the days go on and the habit of immediately grabbing a drink on getting home changes.

I've read all the updates and thinking of you all.. just cannot get my brain in gear to respond to each, I'm really sorry!

I'll be much better once I can breathe without feeling like I'm underwater. (Obviously DD has recovered fully and is aiding my recovery by ever mounting chaos). Sleep well!

PhantomOfAllKnowledge · 21/01/2026 22:28

@elusivehope I'm sorry to hear of your relapse, but well done for having the courage to get back on track straight away, rather than letting a bad day define you. The relapse is not who you are now; you are here and you are alcohol-free whether that's for one day, one week or ten years.

PhantomOfAllKnowledge · 22/01/2026 08:34

A little motivational thing - I did the 'NHS Healthy Choices' quiz and got this in my results.

https://www.nhs.uk/better-health/healthy-choices-quiz/

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026
WendyWagon · 22/01/2026 09:22

Ahoy shipmates.

Looking forward to seeing BFF today.
I'm struggling with spectacles as I've lost a pair.

Good news on the RA, I'm having my infusion next week. I should be able to get about after that.

Ive never been invited to a book group. ive had two houses with libraries.
I suspect the drinking put people off or the soapboxing! 😄

REP22 · 22/01/2026 13:09

Hello shipmates,

Sorry for late surfacing, work is mad the the moment. I have disappeared into the Triangle of Goats. Bit like the Barry Manilow song. But with goats. 🐐 Sid does not care for the distinctive aroma of goats.

@WorkMess2025 - please don't feel you have to apologise for anything or that it's a requisite of the thread to reply to everyone. You are welcome here however much you choose to - or choose not to - post. ❤️

@IChooseTo - back in my occasional theatre days, Vicks Vaporub was a handy standby for scenes where copious tears were required and the method-acting route wasn't cutting it - a few subtle dabs under the eyes and you'd be blubbing worse than an insincere Oscar winner. Definitely not recommended though!

Welcome @SpecialBreak - I'm so glad you've found us. Hope you're doing OK. How are you, @Whatwedidnext ? Hope you're alright too.

Strength and courage. We can do this. xx

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FiloPasty · 22/01/2026 14:00

Hello shipmates x

All good here, I’d like to reiterate what @Lavrander said about celebrating the early wins and days. I’m genuinely not really thinking about drinking anything other than my 0% these days and whilst not gone, the struggle is not all consuming. In my years of trying to moderate 3 days in a row was bloody incredible.
3 days, 5 days, 7 days 12 days, getting past the weekends, then doing social events, holidays etc were bloody huge. So anyone at the start - each day at a time is incredible and such a huge leap in the right direction.

The early days are so much tougher than once you’ve got past the 3 month mark.

Try Dry App absolute godsend for me. So much joy ticking that each night to say I’ve not drank. The little missions to say you’ve survived a sober day out or holiday etc very motivating.

Also eat all the snacks, go to bed early whatever helps. Checking in helps too x

I still haven’t worked out how to release stress/relax last night I drank a whole bottle of 0% wine with a Kit Kat. I still feel 100 times better though :)

ShyMaryEllen · 22/01/2026 14:13

73 days for me today, apparently.

I was out last night with friends - four of us, but only one had a drink, as I'm not drinking and the other two were driving. She had a couple of lagers with her curry, and the waiter brought us all Amaretto, and the non-drinkers gave theirs to her. She didn't manage to drink it all (it's a bit sickly) but the difference between the drinker and the rest of us was clear, and she didn't have a huge amount. She was getting quite argumentative (about Hamnet, which is 100% a matter of opinion😀) and progressively louder as the evening wore on. I'm not judging - I know I've been a lot worse in my time - but it brought home the impact of alcohol on otherwise 'normal' people. We are all better off without it, shipmates. I know you all know that, but it bears repeating.

WorkMess2025 · 22/01/2026 19:53

@WendyWagon- Sorry to hear you're a fellow RA sufferer. I'm in a massive flare at the moment and really hope that the adalimumab helps going forward! Hope the infusion does you the world of good.

endlesswashing · 22/01/2026 19:53

I must be on the mend as was feeling like a glass of wine earlier, had one more pick up to do so that stopped me. I also needed some bits at the shop, avoided the alcohol aisle but bought some cans of pop (not something we have a home usually), nice
yogurts, sweets, chocolate, biscuits and wonderful smelling candles. Lots of options now to indulge myself after dinner if I wish. Feels like such a win. One decision at a time. IWNDWYT 😊

eekwhatnow · 22/01/2026 21:27

Evening All! Ah well done @endlesswashing those do sound like good treats. Some of the treats I’ve been trying are a bit hit or miss but chocolate and candles always hit the mark!
@PhantomOfAllKnowledge tempted to do that for the buzz. In fact I will!
Tough couple of days here and I think probably a difficult weekend ahead too but I won’t drink and I’m going to find the moments of fun and lightness where I can instead of being all sorry for myself which is what I’ve wallowed in this evening. Onwards

Gribouille · 22/01/2026 21:56

Yoho Shipmates! Like a couple of us lately, I have struggled today - I think the weather is having an effect, so relentlessly grim, and I couldn't get my arse in gear and therefore got bored, which is dangerous ground for me... 😳

Went for a walk - always helps - to buy cake - ditto. Made a beast of myself with the sweet stuff and now putting my sober head on the pillow for the win! Tomorrow I'll dig out my SAD lamp, though I should probably have started it last October...

@elusivehope , that book group sounds brilliant - the stimulation of lively discussion without it being a brain battle... And yr AA woman's group reminded me of another online sobriety forum I left when it just got too tedious with guys who would make suggestive remarks once they'd clocked a woman on the site... 🙄

A new car, @WendyWagon , what fun! You deserve a treat for getting through the interminable EA nonsense... And I have some autoimmune stuff and know a few folk with RA like you and @WorkMess2025 - these targeted therapies ending in -mab and -mib and -nib are a game-changer, apparently? Chronic pain is just gruelling... 🤗

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge , I got 7/10 on that quiz because I eat real cheese instead of lo-fat cheese-substitute filth... Don't care. 🧀 Cheese is my friend.

Cheering you on, one and all! 😁

Carpetburn · 22/01/2026 22:50

A late ahoy from me this evening but I’ve been out at a talk so was a late night with work tomorrow! Day 60 for me today! Yikes! And despite my biscuit intake I’ve lost a bit of weight. Amazing what happens when you aren’t ingesting copious amounts of grog!
Wishing smooth sailing for all as we head towards the weekend.

ElizabethBennetsFineEyes · 23/01/2026 00:38

Went to the pub with a friend for pre 5heatre food and drinks, she had wine but I stuck to.my orange juice. Also no booze in the theatre, yay me! 22 days today since last drink!

WhatMaggieDid · 23/01/2026 05:02

Morning. Still here and still dry despite an unsettling/upsetting email at work yesterday. I’m proud of how I’ve handled it so far (although there will be follow-up and some decision making on it today).
Having told DH as we walked to the local pub quiz last night he said “Well this will be a test of your resolve” - needless to say I would previously have hit the wine hard. But no, I found myself saying I wasn’t even tempted, as I knew it would make me feel far worse and be less agile dealing with it today 💪

Haven’t slept too well due to the above. We’ll see how today pans out…
IWNDWYT 💜

Onewildandpreciouslife · 23/01/2026 06:47

Morning all.
Some really lovely updates to wake up to - especially those managing theatre trips and tough work stuff sober. We can do hard things.

January does seem to even longer than usual this year, but it will pass (one day at a time!) and brighter days are coming

HorrorFan81 · 23/01/2026 09:07

Morning all! Had a lovely meal out last night with a friend i havent seen in over a year but shes been the biggest support to me throughout my sobriety journey. We were the big partiers at uni and had some wild nights out over the years. She gave up over 2 years ago and was just such a brilliant, non judgemental friend when I realised my drinking was problematic. We swapped our mortifying drinking stories and celebrated our sober successes. With AF beers and soda water 😀

WendyWagon · 23/01/2026 09:23

Morning all.

Well it looks like were having a new kitchen.
The DH is relly not happy about the estate agent's mistakes.
He thinks we can limp on for a couple of years. When the DS moves we won't get so many parcels.
I'm not really doing af drinks aftsr 7pm as I have to get up in fhe night.
Mainlining shortbread fingers. They keep me going.

REP22 · 23/01/2026 10:25

Good morning shipmates,

Made it to another Friday - and Traitors final tonight! Sid can barely contain himself.

Trials here. M is still unwell - I have to take her to get more antibiotics. I gently suggest that in continuing to go to church things, twittering around the house fiddling with things, etc., that she is not helping herself and needs to rest and get better properly. This provokes rage and ranting. Of course it is all my fault. Of course it is. Bring back the bl~~dy goats, I say. Ah well... Sid holds true. If it's not one thing, it's your mother. Onwards and sideways.

Keep going brave friends. It will be alright. xx

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TheMentalMentalLoad · 23/01/2026 13:15

Afternoon shipmates.

Day 28 today. I still feel like I have the end of a bad cold lurking but this week has been challenging around some personal stuff and I feel like it’s just floored me a bit.

The continual grey weather does not help however I feel absolutely no pull towards booze so that’s good.

Very much looking forward to the Traitors final tonight.

WhatMaggieDid · 23/01/2026 13:57

@TheMentalMentalLoad me too!! I cat believe they left it where they did last night 😱

TheMentalMentalLoad · 23/01/2026 13:59

I’ve not caught up on lasts night so no spoilers please. Me and the DC are loading up on treats and getting comfy to watch it back to back with the final.

Lavrander · 23/01/2026 15:41

Afternoon shipmates
I need to get a handle on how many biscuits I'm eating. Does feel like hibernation season doesn't it. I like the triple chocolate mcvities but I'm not fussy.

I'll be watching traitors tonight. Does anyone else find themselves overly interested in how much people drink on the TV though? After the round table there seems to be drinks on offer that they help themselves to. But no-one getting sloshed. Not like Big Brother in the old days. In fact you don't see that on Love Island either - not that I've watched it since poor Caroline.