The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@REP22 I also love Sid, especially when he’s dressed up, much to his chagrin :)
I might be getting a dog later in the year, the children have been on about it long enough, and if I can stay sober and get my fitness up, a little walking friend will be lovely.

I’ve already had a zero beer but might just have an early night tonight. Strength and courage All x

Day 11 today 🙌 and feeling good.

DH had a curry last night (he’s a curry fiend) and started drinking from when he got up late morning today. We walked the dog to the local pub and I had 2 glasses of AF fizz. DH had 4 pints and is now crashed out on the sofa reeking of booze and curry. I probably would have been napping too after two (or three) large glasses of wine but instead I am making a huge pot of soup. Why oh why didn’t I get off the booze train years ago? I’m sorry to say this but just looking at him snoring away is such a repellent that I have zero desire to drink despite a house full of booze.

Wishing you all a happy, sober Saturday evening 🩷

Thank you @ElizabethBennetsFineEyes @WorkMess2025 @FiloPasty and @eekwhatnow ❤️ Sid's predecessor was a feisty little Parson Jack Russell Terrier; irrepressibly sparky. I think she had about 32 'husbands' when she died. She and Sid had at least one thing in common though - an over-fondness for elderly obese male Labradors...

I love a nice squash @WorkMess2025 - I like Vimto (WHY does it have to be an anagram of "vomit"?!) and I went to get myself some posh squash in Sainsburys the other night - but, alas, I let myself down. My beady eye alighted on some Swizzles Drumstick-Squashies flavoured squash instead. I have fallen to the slutty-squash. But it's bl~~dy lovely and very like those sweets I pretend I don't want, hehe

@ThatCleverFox Sorry you've had to sit by and watch your DH swill the pints and curry; that's something I find deeply unattractive too. I hope that if he pebble-dashes the bog then he cleans it up himself (though I suspect I know what the answer to that would be 🤢 sorry ). Quite apart from that, it's disrespectful to your choices in keeping AF. I would never dictate what other people should and shouldn't eat or drink, but still... You are masterful in the way you are dealing with it, staying AF, your distaste at the state of him and your keeping busy with soup making. Top stuff. ⭐ I love making soup. I bought a few of the New Covent Garden Soup recipe books second-hand when I was really hard-up some years ago and practically lived-off the stuff, beefed up with couscous or pasta. I'd get reduced veg, whatever was going at the time. Brilliant. I think my best bargain was Cream of Fennel - normally a posh option - but 76p for six portions THAT week, hehe. All hail the yellow sticker aisle. 🤲 Not such need for saving these days, thankfully, but the love of soup-making has not dimmed.

And I have an enthusiastic soup-sampler close at paw...

@REP22 Thank you for understanding 🩷 My DH is actually strengthening my resolve to not drink. Covent Garden is my go to for soup recipes. I find making soup and pasta really therapeutic and I like the fact that you can usually have a rummage around the kitchen and come up with something tasty. Long live tins of tomatoes 🙌

He's mesmerised by the soup 😂

We are dog-sitting a grandpuppy for 10 days or so in a few weeks. He's a youngster, and 'exuberant', but a well-meaning soul. I'm looking forward to it.

I am planning an early night tonight, as I've had dreadful insomnia lately. I've had a few things on over the past few days (classes, social events, appointments of various types) which have meant I haven't been able to lie in. That can often ameliorate the exhaustion that follows a period of sleeplessness, but I've had to set the alarm😢. Tonight, however, I will not. That might mean that I am not stressed by the knowledge that I will wake up in a couple of hours, and if I sleep all day, so be it. I have some admin to do tomorrow, but it can just as easily happen in the evening as the morning.

I took delivery of another case of Little Rick drinks today. They are the CBD ones, which mimic cocktails (after a fashion). I find they have zero psychogenic impact, but they taste good, and you get a reasonable amount in a can. If anyone is looking for a tasty 'adult' drink, they might fit the bill. Like so many things nowadays they are cheaper if you subscribe, and you can cancel the subscription easily when the first box arrives, so don't be tempted to pay the 'one-off' price.

Have a good weekend, shipmates.

@REP22 i love Sid! And the outfits! I have a collie so he needs a lot of mental and physical exercise. Interestingly I’m convinced he likes me better sober! I think animals are very sensitive to mood and he picked up on my unhappiness a lot. His favourite person in the house is my DD. He cuddles up with her a lot! He does have his own spot on the sofa which he prefers over the 3 beds he has situated about the place! He’s sat near me snoozing at the moment. And getting out and about with him is absolutely restorative for the soul! He’s so clever you can teach him to do all kinds of tricks and games. I love taking him to the beach and getting him to zig zag, fetch, wait or spin. He’s so focused and astute. They are not an easy dog breed as they can get a bit obsessive about things and don’t know when to stop unless told. I think he would run forever if I let him. But I’ve always known collies so can’t imagine having an easygoing dog. Although it’s hard when he’s cleverer than I am at times. He went through a mortifying phase as a young dog where he would stand in the sea when he knew the walk was ending so he didn’t have to go home. I had to mix up the walks then so he wouldn’t know. But he’s a good lad now!

@Lavrander Congratulations on your anniversary!

I had a low key but pleasant day today - went to nearby town for a wander round the charity shops, lunch at a bagel place and our now customary bottomless coffees in Wetherspoons when we wanted to warm up.

I got a couple of bargains - a Jigsaw silk dress for £2 (independent charity shop where all clothes are £2, it's a bit of a mess in there but good for bargains if you're prepared to hunt around) and a genuine Harris Tweed jacket for £3 off a sale rail in a higher end shop - it had missing buttons which is presumably why it was so cheap but otherwise in great condition with beautiful flowered satin lining. I can buy a replacement set of buttons for pence in our covered market! I love giving neglected clothes a bit of TLC with needle and thread.

I'm loving Sid.

Had a good night. Im glad I went. Drank mocktails and water. Really nice bunch, although they drank loads, so I'm glad I didn't take part. I felt far more confident without it too, which was odd. Just had a cuppa in bed and will hopefully feel better tomorrow.

Hi
please can I join
i have been drinking my feelings for years

Morning!

welcome @FabledLandsand also @Whatwedidnext. Great to have you join us.

@ThatCleverFoxI have the same problem with my husband. I don't necessarily find that his behaviour is unsupportive. At the start he was very moderate so I did find that supportive but over time it's crept back up again to our old standards and it's just boring and annoying! It does strengthen my resolve too. But also - boring and annoying!

I cleared out the bottom of my wardrobe yesterday and found a Joseph Cashmere jumper that I thought I'd lost! It's looking a bit crumpled poor thing.

Morning all, checking in. Had a lovely date day yesterday with DP, I drove so zero temptation to drink. Probably asked already but does anyone feel like they’re almost expected to drive these days when you’re sober? Seems to be almost taken for granted. As I am so early in my sobriety journey (181 days today) I am quite happy to drive, but thinking of it recently, I don’t want to have to drive all the time, so maybe worth having that conversation after a year of no drinking. But then are you a fun sponge by not being the drinker and not offering to drive?

Would just be nice to be driven somewhere for a change!

I haven’t got much planned for today, probably take it easy in my own house before staying over with DP this evening.

How are you getting on this weekend @Becky3825? I think about you often on these threads, I hope you are doing well.

I love seeing Sid’s smiley, happy face @REP22. Like you, I love the thought of staying sober for our four legged friends. I was lucky enough to be sought out by a little cat friend in September last year. My eldest son’s friend had adopted a Bengal cat who was causing mayhem around their other cats, and wondered whether we would like him. Best decision I ever made saying yes, even if he is a mischievous little shit at times, launching himself at the telly, or going for your feet when you get up to make a cuppa.

My last ever drink was six months ago tomorrow. Well, back of 2am when I was absolutely rattling, dog sick, and gulped a miniature vodka down my throat to make sure I didn’t have a seizure.

The first week was just horrendous. My ever supportive DP took me out to lunch and I had to ask to leave as I couldn’t hold a glass or a knife and fork to eat as my tremors were so bad. I don’t think I ate anything for four or five days, my appetite was nonexistent that first week. I genuinely don’t think I could do it again, I was at the end stage really, well over 200 units of booze a week, morning until night.

Off to Italy on Friday with my son, first trip abroad since quitting. It will certainly look different to other early morning starts at the airport that I have had in the past!

Wow @Adsy1988 - that’s quite the turnaround you’ve achieved. Congratulations on your 6 months 🎉🎉

I have the opposite with driving- although I passed my test over 20 years ago, my anxiety meant that I wasn’t able to follow through, so don’t drive. I’ve had about 3 rounds of doing extra lessons to try and get the confidence but it’s never worked. So my DH is pissed off that I’m sober and DON’T drive. I do feel a bit guilty about it, but I’ve spent a lot of time and money trying to manage it. It would be interesting if now my anxiety is lower I could cope, but now both our kids drive so the pressure is off a bit.

Welcome @Whatwedidnext . Do you think it’s safe for you to stop completely? If so, is today your day 1? Do you have a plan for not drinking tonight? It is much easier to think “at 6pm I will do this to avoid drinking” than just telling ourselves we won’t drink (because by 3pm our brain will start negotiating for a drink)

Morning everyone, I’ve literally just woken up!! After 12 days my sleep is SO much improved. Just checked my Garmin and last night I had 5 periods of REM which is excellent. Going back my sleep was often ‘poor’ or ‘insufficient’ with very little REM and lots of wakeful episodes. Such a difference in so little time.

We had a lovely evening last night with our friends who are also DS1’s godparents. He is at home at the moment waiting for a visa to be issued so it was lovely for them to catch up. Only one person was drinking so that made life really easy and DS drank Corona Zero and said it was lovely! Lots of chat and laughter and even played a board game together and I was completely present and remember every second 😊

Yesterday afternoon we went for a dog walk and stopped for a coffee before coming home and there was a group of woman (one of whom I know a little) having a boozy afternoon tea. The one I knew came over to say hello and she was a bit unsteady and slurry. It was nice to see her but it made me a bit uncomfortable because I know that I’ve been that person, thinking I’m being warm and friendly but in reality very obviously quite inebriated 🥴. Really reaffirmed why I’m doing this.

Welcome aboard @Whatwedidnext. This is a wonderful, kind, supportive thread 🥰

Morning all.

Just caught up with the thread. Congratulations @Adsy1988

Big drama yesterday re the house. We'd been listed without parking . Who the hell would view a big house without parking? No body it seemed. 10 weeks wasted with a clock ticking. I have absolutely no idea what to do. Second agent after the fjrst one left off our double garage and one ensuite.
If I'd been drinking I'd have been threatening to sue. I didnt see it as it was in the agents tick box space. Unbelievable but we trust these people. I've reduced twice due to no interest. Now we know why. Bloody idiots.

Uneventful evening with orange juice and RF trash on channel 5. I've met a few so I confess to being horrified by the latest nonsense.

Off out to drive by a cottage with an annex. Proper village with services and a posh hotel with spa.

What a difference 6 months makes @Adsy1988. Congratulations!

I'm still in the 'wow I can drive home' phase but I do get what you mean. Because it's nice for another person to offer to keep you sober company not just expect you to be the chaffeur. Especially since I usually call time, and that makes me feel even more of the fun sponge.

@Adsy1988 congratulations on six months!

That is so frustrating @WendyWagon. My estate agent listed it without the floor plan and said oh that's coming I just wanted to get it listed. So what about all the people that clicked on it, saw there was no floor plan, and will never look at it again.
The parking mistake is unforgivable - how they didn't notice for 10 weeks is just crazy.

Thanks lavender.
We have a very well established company in the village but they are known for talking down a property so i picked a new agent. Now I'm stuffed as it looks like we're desperate.
We have to move and i even accepted the six figure haircut but this mistake might cost me my house. I'm beside myself lads. Any advice appreciated.

When the listing is fully accurate, could you reduce it very marginally - that will bump it to the top of Rightmove again and also, might sneak it into some search parameters it had missed - not everyone searches within the 'obvious' round figures.

If you're brave, name change and post a link on the property topic here for critique - in my experience posters fall over one another to give advice and it's often constructive, such as repositioning furniture for photos.

@Lavrander yep 100%. Drunk people are boring and annoying and that includes my DH. Fortunately I am very comfortable in my own company and can happily entertain myself (only child) as I now realise that I don’t have anyone to share my new found joie de vivre with…well, except for the pup 🐶

@WendyWagon arghhh that makes me so cross for you. I’m sorry I don’t have sound any advice, only sympathy.
@Adsy1988 that’s amazing. Really inspiring. Congratulations!
I decided before I stopped that I wasn’t going to drive people to and from social events I went to in early sobriety. I need to be able to leave when I want without feeling like a killjoy. I’ve seen an acquaintance who gave up a couple of years ago really struggle with this and get so much grief from leaving early and making the people she’s with leave early. It made me wary!

Good morning shipmates,

Congratulations @Adsy1988 - that's such an inspiring post to read. xx

@Lavrander - I love airing cupboard buried treasure, hehe! I didn't manage to get the Vax out yet, but I HAVE started to declutter this morning and the airing cupboard is imminent. Who knows what I shall find? Probably Glenn Miller duetting with Elvis - it's been that long since I had a clear-out.

Welcome @Whatwedidnext - I'm glad you've found us. I used to drink away my feelings too. Like @Onewildandpreciouslife says - have you got a strategy? It can help to beat away the wine witch when she comes a-calling. You can do it. xx

Bl~~dy hell @WendyWagon - what a nightmare. You don't deserve that. I can't offer any advice I'm afraid. Sid and I are Housing Association tenants (gratefully so) and likely to be for the rest of our mortal days, but I do wish you all the very, very best with it all. 💐

I am happy and proud to be the sober driver. When I knew that drink was overtaking me I voluntarily gave up my licence. I was never stopped, drove drunk or had even so much as a speeding ticket or dodgy headlight. I just felt it was right. Big mistake - I should've just put it in a drawer. It took long, painful years to get it back from the DVLA, repeated tests and medicals, I was treated worse than the worst convicted drink driver (I know this - I had to go to tests alongside actual convicted drivers who hadn't had to jump through the hoops I did). I'd never have forgiven myself if I'd driven drunk and caused harm but, to this day, I still don't have a single point on my licence. So I am a grateful driver. In fact, I am almost ANNOYED when I drive past the Rozzers and they don't pull me over for a random breath-test. I'd want to see that 0.0 on the their little doofus. So I am thankful that I am in a position to give lifts. It would REALLY grind my gears if I had an OH or mates who simply assumed and took it for granted though. I know what you mean @Adsy1988.

Strength and courage brave friends. It will be alright. x

@REP22 I think it might have been your posts about the DVLA that made me very nervous about admitting to anyone other than myself that I had a major alcohol problem. Because I finally done it the official way, through my GP to get time off work to get properly sober, I was assigned a Drug and Alcohol counsellor, who to their credit, has been really lovely and supportive. But a few times mentioned the DVLA, and when I was told it was voluntary to inform them of my change in life, I categorically said absolutely no chance was I letting them know anything.

After reading your post there I’m glad I stuck to my guns. Whilst I was moaning earlier about driving, I’d be absolutely lost without my licence. That said, I never once drove when I was under the influence, Christ I didn’t even own a car when I got sober in July (used to just use my DP’s car).

@Adsy1988 i can also tell you i couldn't get life insurance after i asked for my GPs help.
Luckily I've had it since 1988 through the DHs job.

I asked my GP for help- I told her I was dependent on alcohol and was very worried about the damage I had done to myself. Most unfortunately, she didn't seem in the slightest bit interested and said she was sure I'm fine. She didn't ask me about units or anything, but I pressed for help so she suggested AA, and some other groups. However, she said some groups would only allow me to join if I'd been sober for a few months. She told me to tell the DVLA, but I too had previously read about the hellish ordeal @REP22 had been through, so I chose not to (thank you REP). I too never drunk drove. I asked the GP for thiamine, as helpfully suggested by @ShyMaryEllen (thank you SME) but for some reason the GP decided that was not necessary. I got some B vitamins from a chemist myself in the end. So I have no idea what damage I may have done, but I am very grateful to be sober, and very, very grateful for you my shipmates- I really could not have done this without you- you are my support network. I am also grateful to be able to drive. I am less grateful to my family who, as well as not being particularly supportive of my decision to not drink, appear to have made the decision that they now have a free taxi for the rest of their lives. I am very happy to oblige most of the time, I just don't want to be taken for granted. So I empathise with those of you having to chauffeur, especially if you're being made to feel like a fun sponge- you're not!
And don't let my terrible GP experience put any of you off- if you need to see one please do and I hope you find it helpful. You're all flipping fabulous- you got this x