Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

@REP22 I hear you - definitely easier to stay sober in company than alone!!!!

So - I've been slobbing all day, dealing with the pile-up of laundry

And just wondered why everything hurt, my joints hurt...

Just realised that it's STRESS! So I need to just slow down and stop worrying about the unbought gifts... Christmas is a seaon!

All will be well, and all manner of things will be well 💚💚💚

Yes, the Christmas Day Toast is at 6.00pm, or at any time that suits individual shipmates. It can take any form you like, depending on preference and company. The only 'rule' is that you raise a glass of something AF, and toast the shipmates and Sid. That can be shouted from a balcony or under your breath - it does't matter.

All are welcome to join in. Old hands and newbies alike😀

Something else worth mentioning - if you are new to being AF, get some Thiamine (AKA Vitamin B1) and take high doses daily for 6 weeks or so. It can help prevent alcohol-related brain damage, so is worth it. At least 100mg three times a day, or a 500mg daily is recommended. You can't overdose on it, so there are no worries there.

I might not be online tomorrow, as my daughter arrives, so I'll take this opportunity to wish all shipmates a fabulous Christmas, and that Sid is thoroughly spoilt.

@taylorean gifts unbought for Christmas can be gifts planned in advance for birthdays. 😉

Arnica is very good for joint aches. But probably best not venture out if you've not got some in the house - I've just got back in from our Sidwalk and our little town was heaving with desperate souls jockeying for the meagre number of parking spaces (not helped by the town Chrimble tree and nativity crib taking up four of the spaces. I had to deter Sid from barking (richly deserved) filth at a Tesla...

You are right; all shall be well. x

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen - that's lovely, that you are spending the day with your daughter. I hope you have a really lovely time. Sid has had a bit of turkey dinner already and a colleague's beef from the work Christmas meal. Disgraced himself with the stolen Stilton though, so he may have cooked his metaphorical goose re. further trimmings, hehe.

And lo, it came to pass that the Angel Sidbriel flutters down to tell you his Christmas joke of the year:

Did you hear about the missing Christmas cake?
It was stollen.

I really cannot apologise enough. x

Thank you all for your replies!

we went to a Christmas party today and I had several drinks - but it feels like a good note to end on. we had a total blast but it wasn’t ‘normal life.’

It would be amazing to have a sober Christmas! We are with family tomorrow and I will be driving (I never drink and drive) - so shouted be an easy win!

Evening shipmates! Day 30 today for me yay! It’s been a while.
Working tomorrow so will be busy till the evening but have my AF Xmas Eve all planned out.
I’ll be toasting Sid et al on the big day too.

Waking up to my Day One - and feeling good about it. Usually my Day Ones are full of self-loathing but I am determined to be kind to myself and let go of something that no longer serves me.

this evening will be a busy one after DC are in bed getting ready for tomorrow, so lots of distractions, but any first day tips are always welcome

Good morning @Changling1, I hope Day 1 goes well for you. Just try and keep as busy as you can, preferably with something AF in your hand to keep them busy.

Checking in. Got a few errands to run today, but I’m going out to the pub later with friends, which at the start was quite difficult to do, but I’m happy sitting with a coke or a AF beer these days.

I hope everyone has a great, and sober Christmas Eve.

Morning my sober shipmates!
We have family arriving later and I honestly have never seen them do anything but drink and smoke!
I shan't be joining in but I feel a little sad because, obviously, am not looking forward to it much. Tomorrow I shall be okay as I'll be cooking up a feast! I think today the dog will get an extra long walk this afternoon and I'll just potter around people. Determined not to be a party pooper but URGH.
All will be well though (thank you for the reminder @taylorean)

I read the mad shopper requests @WendyWagon. I have to say I was hoping they would be madder. My favourite threads are the hotel ones. Now those are truly mad.

Congratulations on the days 30, 60, 155 and the day one. Cheers to being present and clear headed!

Happy Christmas Eve all! I will be raising a glass of AF fizz to you all tomorrow ❤️
You've got this @Changling1 ! Think of all your reasons why and stock up on alternatives for the festive period. Some quit lit is also helpful - I am reading Catherine Gray's first book ATM and loving it. I also high rate Alcohol Explained. Enjoy waking up on Christmas day hangover free!

Have a wonderful and sober Christmas eve all x

Day 1 again. Not beating myself up. The festive pressure got too much. At least nothing exploded and was in bed by 11 ish. Feel crud but I am straight back on this, the hangover and all the christmas food prep , plus kids will be punishment enough!.

But yeah FFS

Good festive morning my shipmates.

I have essence of deep heat all around me when i wish to be elegant and fragrant. I had cravings ladt nigjt but the fact I had to go on the big guns kept me on the straight and narrow.

I've had one Yorkshire tea and a peach Danish assisted by Mr Tiggle.

I have a Christmas jumper, I dont think i have had one since i was a kid!

I really like the smell of Deep Heat😂

Husband has gone to get Daughter and Grandpuppy, so I have a few hours to myself. I'm currently eating toast and watching Brookside, but have a list of chores to get through. Nothing too onerous, but I should have washed the spare duvet before now, as getting it dry might be tricky. I usually hang it out, but it's raining. The dryer isn't big enough to get it properly dry. I can hang it over the bannister, but as festive decorations go it's a bit lacking. Or - I could put a fresh one on the spare bed and stuff the used one in a drawer until after Christmas💡

Otherwise, mostly it's serious tidying, getting personal items from spare rooms so I can get at them when they have guest occupants and dog-proofing the surfaces.

Just popping on to wish everyone a Merry Christmas 🎄

To old friends and new, keep the faith. You can and will have a fulfilling and wonderful Christmas without the booze!!

This will be my 4th sober Christmas. Bring it on. I'd never give back.

Sending everyone lots of love for 2026.

How many days did you get to @Becky3825 ? I was really hopeful you’d got through the worst of it. I’ve asked before but I don’t think you’ve replied. Have you tried the alcohol free alternatives?

Welcome @Changling1 a fab day to begin! And @Becky3825 its good to see you here. Many of us have bounced in and out but you’re staying here with us and that’s amazing. I’ve been going round for a couple of years on the stop and start. It just feels like it’s sticking currently but I know it’s tough. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Was working till 5 and then took the dog out. Just about to settle down for a Xmas movie with DD and have cracked open an AF beer.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Xmas Eve and I’ll be back for the toast on the big day itself.
And lastly thank you to all you wonderful people who have given advice without judgement, cheered us on and shared your own successes and struggles on our AF journeys. I cannot tell you how much this has helped. Day 31!

Well, I did it!

I did the big Christmas shop without buying a drop of booze - got plenty of nice soft drinks to see me through. Drinking them like crazy - but I figure it’s better to be up all night sober and peeing, than to pass out and wake up with anxiety at 3am!

Other than when I was pregnant, this will be my first sober Christmas since I was about 14 💪

it’s so good to read about your journeys and successes - it can be done!

Aaaaargh, my mother bought me a bottle of Bailey's.

I'm on Day 58

I have AF wine, fizz & cocktails but that Bailey's is so, so tempting because it's always been a thing on Christmas Eve.

Might be a bit late @NotTonightDeidre but hopefully you got through, I’ve had a few gifts from people I’ve not told. I had nosecco tonight and passed the champagne out. I didn’t manage to find it but there is an alcohol free amaretto and that with some milk over ice might be nice alternative. I’m def going to try it.
Welcome @Changling1 I've read your posts and really resonate, same family of drinkers (in fact parents here are really irking me and some of their ingrained habits) it’s also my first alcohol free Christmas since I was probably younger than 14 as I was always allowed wine and lemonade with my Xmas meal. It’s actually so lovely going to bed clear headed and not pissed trying to do stockings quietly.
@Lavrander I hopefully the day went ok, I’m also feeling a bit Scrooge like, my dad sounds like he’s dying with his cough after 60+ years of smoking, we fell out earlier as he gave my (young) teenagers scratchcards/lottery tickets wanted to start drinking at lunchtime list goes on. I do love him but I think a bit triggering having him here. My husband on the other hand has been amazing, He’s bought minimal booze, had a 0% rum and coke with me earlier and is just very supportive and told me how proud he is of me. Day 105 here.
@Carpetburn Congratulations on 31 days.
I think I’d like a puppy or a kitten for Xmas but I didn’t put it on my list.
A very merry Christmas to you all x

Hello shipmates, I hope you're all having a happy sober Christmas Eve.

I find the lead-up to Christmas very stressful, even though rationally speaking there's not much to be stressed about, as I'm only with my immediate family (DH and teenage DC) and they're quite chilled. But something about the holiday period just makes me feel panicked; the shopping frenzy (including food shopping) makes me anxious, but I also have a strong compulsion to join in and buy MORE. Your post about stress resonated with me, @taylorean !

Anyway the fridge is now crammed full and the gifts are wrapped, so I'm feeling calmer. I have procured ridiculous quantities of sweet things. House is still mostly a mess, but the front room and dining table are tidy and festive, so that's good enough.

I'm on day 2 again. I thought/hoped that once I was on a break from work, it would be relatively easy for me to stop drinking, but the truth is it's never easy for me to stop drinking and stay stopped.

I'm feeling optimistic though. I went to an AA meeting tonight and shared honestly there for the first time in ages. I've been going to the odd meeting, but not 'sharing' as they call it. I know quite a few people there from the old days and I was embarrassed to admit to them that I had relapsed (I know, I know). I tried to tell myself that being honest on this thread would be enough, but I think I need some real life support as well. Anyway it's not a case of either/or; I can reach out for multiple lifelines. The people tonight were very kind (and not surprised). I still haven't told my DH yet, but I've made a small step in the right direction. I'm thinking of going the whole hog and getting an AA sponsor again, but I don't want to rush into it straight away... I need to find someone who is not too much of a God-thumper. I met one woman tonight who seemed lovely and who is available to sponsor people, but she talked a lot about how God has a special plan for everyone, and how if your life isn't going well, it's because you're not accepting God's special plan for you. If embracing this philosophy makes people's lives easier, I think that's great, but personally I just can't stomach it. The world is full of shitty things happening constantly, and it doesn't make me better able to cope with them by believing that they're part of some mysterious divine plan. Sorry, rant over. I'm very Christmassy, me! 😂

Anyway I do appreciate all the warmth and practical wisdom on this thread. ❤

Welcome @Changling1 ! @NotTonightDeidre how extremely annoying about the Bailey's. I would just get it out of the house if I were you (but I have zero willpower!).

@Becky3825 we can do this!

@Lavrander it's not fun being surrounded by big drinkers! You're such a rock on this thread, and I hope you enjoy tomorrow... and not being hungover.

Wishing us all a day that is as stress-free as possible tomorrow, and looking forward to the virtual toast!

Merry Christmas Eve all. Haven’t had time with all the festivities and hosting to read much, but wanted to wish you all strength and love, wherever you are on your sober journeys.
Here’s to waking up bright eyed and bushy in the morning. Kids are asleep, DH and I are about to set the presents out and watch Jesus Christ Superstar (silly annual tradition where he’ll put a cushion on his head and pretend to be one of the priests on the scaffolding)
Aside from the gale blowing outside everything is lovely and calm.
Have a good one tomorrow shipmates. We can do this ❤️

I must say @wonkymumbun that your annual tradition is as admirable as it is unique 😂

Morning all.
Congratulations to everyone who managed a sober Christmas Eve!

Ive got this bloody awful cough that’s going round, so not feeling very festive and haven’t managed some of the traditional stuff I do to feel Christmassy. At least the Beechams seem to be kicking in so I feel more human than I did an hour ago.

It’s been such a tough year, but at least I did it sober.

For those on your first sober Christmas, you can do this! Do whatever you need to not drink, and if you need to shake up traditions to get through it, do it. And see you at 6pm! X

Morning all.
Happy Christmas.

I slept after the dh brought in the big guns meds.
The DS is cooking with me today. He wants to learn as he's moving so will be hosting next year. He's doing the spuds and gravy. No one eats bread sauce except me. I'm stil having it.

See you all later x