Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen , Belvoir spiced berry, that's the kind of thing I mean! Couldn't remember the name for a moment there... 😄

Good morning shipmates.

Got my first TryDry sticker @FiloPasty 🎉 Great stuff on the SW progress! ❤️

Lovely to see all the new faces and old friends too. Don't know where I'd be without this space. I'm feeling a bit 'wobbly' at the moment (hence the downloading of TryDry) - still on antibiotics and under the hospital (boo!), so have countered this by making concrete plans for tomorrow (going out to bulk-buy bird food for my garden feeders) and repeatedly reminding myself of the reason (apart from humiliation and catastrophic organ failure) why I stay true: wee mascot Sid (not his real name) - there for us all in the hard times and the fine, and who deserves better than drunk, mediocre me.

Strength and courage. We're going to make it, you and I. It will be alright. xx

Oh I could definitely fashion up a decent 0 mulled wine i reckon. My base was fresh squeezed orange juice with maple syrup, reduced down a bit. Then cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, star anise. I could do this and add 0 mulled wine but I find myself not wanting to for some reason. I feel like if I can't have the real thing I would rather stick with hot chocolate. Got myself some gingerbread syrup to add to jazz it up so will try that tonight, having a xmas movie night with the kids. Doing an early Home Alone 😁 Going to the gym first, will avoid my traditional Friday afternoon drinking time and by the time ive worked out i think any mulled wine cravings will have died down

Thank you for sharing that gorgeous face, @REP22 - if that gaze of pure trust, love and support can't support your sobriety nothing can! ❤️

I send you my support too because I know that ongoing illness can really drag you down and undermine your resolve... can you get yourself a really super-lovely pudding or treat this weekend to cheer yourself up?

I had surgery a few years ago and was sober at the time - and when my ward met up for a check up a month later, I was the only one who hadn't developed an infection - and the only non-drinker... Alcohol really blooters our immune systems, doesn't it (as well as everything else)...

🤗

Morning all.

Was unwell again yesterday but I got the all clear from the cardiologist.
I'm being done next week!

I'm very excited by a new project. It will be my proudest moment of my career.
No silly snake oil just a science backed safety tool for women and girls. I'm so excited. 60 really is the new 40!

I suspect a few rats will come out of the sewers when it launches. I shall deal with them sober.

How are you @Onewildandpreciouslife

That sounds very exciting @WendyWagon all clear from the cardiologist is good news.

After a 6 year wait for my adhd assessment I had an email yesterday saying that I’ve been selected to go to a new clinic, let’s see what happens with that. Might still mean another 2 years but hey ho. Over the years my obsessions have gone partying, partying with loads of drugs, skiing, running and yoga, work, early days parenting, heavy drinking, now obsessively not drinking and losing weight. I’m hoping next obsession can be getting rich and fit :)

Hope everyone happy and in the zone, for those that a Friday night is tough - you’ve got this! X

@Becky3825 how are you doing? X

Thank you @Gribouille - that's lovely. Sid definitely is the best reason for staying true. If I've had a bit of a slip ever, I just despise myself and feel utterly wretched for letting him down. I'm back on the chocolate milkshake of an evening as a bit of a treat - M&S Belgian one at the moment, though I'm a devil for the Sainsbury's TTD White Chocolate and Raspberry. Hope your health woes are fixed now. You're right; it does drag you down. My latest is an interesting concoction of toxins - I suspect an ill-advised cuddle of a Highland bull (a gentle soul) was the culprit this time. But I am mending well. 🙂

That's such a relief from the cardiologist @WendyWagon - so pleased to hear that and that you're back on schedule ❤️

That sounds promising @FiloPasty - I hope the new place will be helpful. I was speaking to one of my more outlying cousins not too long ago - she's just been diagnosed with ADHD/Autism at over 50 years of age. She says she found it actually a relief, after all this time. Hope better days lie ahead for you. x

I’m doing ok thanks @WendyWagon - can’t remember if I’ve already said, but the oncologist doesn’t want to risk more treatment at the moment, so I’m back on regular scans.

It’s such good news you’ve been cleared for surgery- onwards! New plan sounds exciting too.

I had an early Christmas group meeting this week and they supplied mince pies and alcohol-free mulled wine. I was expecting it to be disappointing and over sweet, but it was actually very good. I mainly just love the smell of it.

That's encouraging @LillyPJ - last year I had some mulled wine cordial, designed to be diluted with hot water. I think it was Belvoir. Lovely. I, too, prefer the warm spicy scent over the taste. Although that may be due in part to former overenthusiastic glugging, when I also swallowed half a cinnamon stick and a clove. Ho ho "ho". Unpleasant.

Christmas is always a bit of a Russian roulette for me - I'm allergic to nuts - so I definitely prefer the scents to the tastes. Nice and warm and cosy. Perhaps, somewhat ironically, Christmas is the time of year when I feel the least inclination to indulge - because I need to be on my guard for nuts. But well aware that this is a minority position. I know how wretchedly hard it can be for a lot of us over the festive season.

Strength, courage and love as we head into the weekend. All shall be well. xx

Sid is looking as handsome as ever upthread, @REP22 🥰.

I enjoy Christmas, but wish it didn't kick in so early. A month of it is just too much. I still don't know what we are doing on the day, as my children and their partners are waiting for leave to be announced, and Daughter is moving house in December (completion date TBA too).

It's all a bit stressful, as we are all hundreds of miles apart from one another, so nobody can pop over for the afternoon, and it all has to be planned. Also everyone seems to have different dietary requirements, so I don't even know what to buy - eg even the dog hates vegan pigs in blankets, so I will only get those if strictly necessary, but if they are needed I need to reserve them ahead of time, as they are so disgusting that few people sell them. Otherwise I need vegetarian ones and real ones at a minimum. A turkey crown would work if both sets of offspring are coming, but not unless, as Husband is vegetarian, and I can't eat one on my own. If nobody can make it, it is too late to book in somewhere for Husband and me, so I'll have to come up with some sort of plan.

@ShyMaryEllen did you see the turkey crown bomb from waitrose? Looks small.

Happy Friday. Please may I join you?

I gave up alcohol just over 2 years ago, at the time it was to have a break, I got great support from a thread for those trying to stop.

I then had a long spell of not regularly posting - I think I just had to get on living life without alcohol. But I’m ready to say that I genuinely don’t ever intend to drink again - I am delighted with how I feel without it in my life. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t experiences with those in a similar boat.

I am more of a lurker than a poster but with Christmas being around the corner, finding a decent 0% mulled wine is high on my agenda 😂

Hi @MissSmith80. Wow two years - what an achievement and sounds like the new normal for you? Really inspiring. I'm really looking forward to getting to the point where I don't have say no anymore and I'm just not asked!

What's people thoughts on things like Christmas pudding with alcohol in it (trying not to mention specifica as I know that can be triggering for some). My husband is looking at making one and is planning on feeding it. For me I do love Christmas pudding and you read it does burn off but I can't help but feel it's not strictly alcohol free and perhaps I should stick to the chocolate log? Saying that I don't imagine I'll have a slice of Christmas pudding and fall overboard as a result. Custard as an accompaniment only. Thoughts?

My drinking crept up in lockdown and the last 6 months have become excessive. But now I’m pregnant (shocked!) and need to stay sober. I have found the first 2 weeks surprisingly easy. But the weight loss won’t happen- 1. Pregnancy. But 2 - I’ve replaced wine with sugar. Oh so much chocolate! Hopefully I can replace that with nothing. These threads make me feel less alone and more non alcohol drinkers are out there!

Yes thanks, @WendyWagon I've seen it, but as I don't know who will be eating, I don't know if it will be enough. I might get two chickens and freeze one if it's not needed. If I want to get fresh I'll have to order something soon.

@Lavrander, I've always been ok with alcohol in cooking, but I think this is where knowing one's flashpoints comes in. My problem was not physical addiction, but habit, and an inability to think of going to bed without a drink. I went cold turkey with few side effects, and had no alcohol at all (in drink form) for eight years. I swapped wine for the AF variety, which helped to feed the habit, and it worked well for me. My routines stayed the same as before - I carried on going out to licensed premises with the same people I always had. As time went by, things have morphed into a different way of life, but I think that would have happened anyway, as I left work and built a life in my home town.

Booze in cooking didn't tap into the habit, so I never minded it. It's not something I use every day anyway, and my husband still drinks, so an open bottle will get used up without me feeling the need to finish it, and the taste of wine in a span bol wouldn't make me want to drink. On the rare occasion I am offered a chocolate liqueur I would have one, too, and it wouldn't want me to get some cherry brandy or whatever. It might be different for others though.

Not everyone likes AF drinks - not just because of the taste, but because they are too close to the 'real thing' - basically they don't like them for the very reasons I do. I never liked 'quit lit', as I found it just reminded me of drinking, but others find it really helpful - again, horses for courses. I think we all need to work out what our triggers are and work with them (or work against them, I suppose).

Congratulations on your pregnancy, @strawberryandtomato! Our first baby shipmate - how lovely. S/he will have lots of thread aunties (and Sid) looking out for her/him.

You are in such a wonderful position, as you can give your baby a life without knowing a drunken mother. If I could change one thing in my life it would be that I didn't do that, and as old hands know, I beat myself up about it on a regular basis. It's a great opportunity to do the best for your little one when s/he arrives.

@Lavrander Like @ShyMaryEllen , I think it was the habit of drinking that was my main problem so alcohol in food has never been a problem for me. Having a bowl of tiramisu has never sent in search of more booze - nor even a second bowlful. (I'm not keen on very sweet things and I hate eating huge amounts.) But I know it's not the same for everyone. You have to go by your own tendencies and triggers.

Has everyone read ‘I found an old note to myself’ thread? Inspirational ❤️

@TwoNicePuppies Thanks. I just read it - a great post and a timely reminder!

Thanks all. Agree - Christmas pudding not a gateway or an issue for me so I'll dig in.

Just read the thread. How lovely!

Morning all and hello @strawberryandtomato- congratulations on your pregnancy. You have the easiest excuse for now so let this propel you for when the baby is born so you can be present for all the lovely things ❤️

I'm having a sort out and clean today.

Morning all.
The idea of alcohol in food doesn’t bother me, but these days (over 3 years in) I just don’t like the feeling in my mouth- very odd. It’s “stir up Sunday” tomorrow so I’ll make the pudding and load it with booze, but probably won’t eat more than a spoonful at Christmas.

@Lavrander I love a good sort out. It feels great afterwards.
Morning, all.
Tricky day yesterday. May I sum up my journey?
I was 165 days sober, went on holiday.....had 1 day heavy - ish, 1 day af and 3 days moderated.
Since being home, I'm on day 5. I'm pretty determined to get to Xmas ( holiday again), but yesterday was tricky. Just ate a large fruit n nut instead.
I didn't think this time of the year was going to be challenging but turns out it is.
Anyway, thank god I can post here.
( Although someone did say about it being Friday and weekend, and funnily enough that doesn't trigger me now. Yesterday I think I wanted to go out out 😏).
Have a lovely Saturday folks.
I'm grateful today I didn't cave - one day at a time ❤️

How are you @Becky3825 ?