Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

I think ‘Nautical’ version would be appropriate 😉

I shall consult my battered copy of Stovold's Almanac... Aha! Tuesday Afternoon Rules can only apply to Nautical (good shout @FaithHopeCarnage) if terminating up the Willesden Junction. 😉 Sid is always happy to alight at Barkingside, however, though frequently falls into Nidd.

The late great Tim Brooke-Taylor once complimented me on my triple platform-loop, hehe

Apologies to non-players. Sometimes it's hard to avoid the noble chase. 💐

I’m not British, so I’ve no idea what you’re all talking about 😂

Ahh, Mornington Crescent! @LlamaFluff its ok, it doesn’t mean anything anyway! It’s from a bbc 4 radio panel show where they make it up as they go along, talking about London tube/train stations like it is part of a board game. I’ve seen it done at a parties where there will be someone who has no clue about it and will try really, really hard to understand what the rules are and what is happening so they can join in. This always adds to the pleasure of everyone talking knowingly about inspired moves etc etc!

Thank you @FaithHopeCarnage i know what you mean. I think I do have the notion that one or two won’t hurt me often. That it could all collapse. A year is a long time, but is also feels like no time at all when you’ve turned a decades-long habit on its head. I have sabotaged many a diet and lots of other positive things in the past. I’m sure the days to March will fly by for you. Hopefully you think about it less.

I haven’t really thought about a next goal. I suppose it would be 05/06 for 18months or should I just make it 05/01/2027 for 2 years? Making it June would give me an opportunity to reward myself. I am hoping to get back to a bit of a diet as I put on 5lbs over Christmas and I want to get around a stone off after that (4-6kg). New clothes perhaps! A hair cut. Hmmm, interim goals sound good ;-)

I have no idea what you lot are referring to!

I had a lovely glass of 0% Hardys Shiraz earlier. It was really nice.

Has anyone found a good 0% gin? I haven’t bought one yet as I think it’ll just taste like pop.

@TheMentalMentalLoadTanqueray 0! It’s absolutely perfect. Taste wise I can’t tell the difference. I’m basically living off it now.

Thank you! This is great news.

Full of cold but still sober and checking in shipmates

@WhatMaggieDid great article thanks for sharing I love Harriet!
@SmellyMe congratulations on your milestone it must feel amazing xx

@SmellyMe well done for your full year!

@Becky3825 well done you too, I know things have been difficult.

Interesting to read your thoughts on terms/terminology @ShyMaryEllen and @elusivehope I haven’t got round, or maybe I haven’t wanted to think about what term to use for my kind of drinking. Now it doesn’t matter; it’s in the past. I know it was more than I wanted and, occasionally, embarrassing.

BTW I’ve been listening to a podcast about avoiding micro-doses of stress in the morning so now I’ve set my alarm for half an hour later (as I will naturally wake up before it, I don’t have to hear it buzzing), I don’t switch on my phone in the morning, don’t read the news etc till evening, to avoid anxiety and stress. I do make an exception for this thread, though, as it’s always so supportive 🫂

Last bit from me this evening: big fan of the Traitors. I also played a Mafia game variant, it’s such good fun.

Thank you @postcard , I think (know) i had s bit of a breakdown over December. I as of today am on Propranolol as well as the prosak i've been mainlining for the past three years. So with my cold and flue pills and thiamine I'm rattling around.

I feel so bad for not responding to anyone, so many milestones 🥲❤️‍🔥

Going back to labels and such, although I wouldn’t describe myself as an alcoholic, my behaviour regarding alcohol had all the classic hallmarks of addiction.

I tread carefully with the term ‘alcoholic’ as I know when you’re sober or describe yourself as having a problem, drinkers tend to hold you up as a benchmark for when to officially ‘have a problem’ with alcohol- and as other have said; it’s very much a spectrum. Also when I think of Alcoholism it does conjure up images of someone who has to fight every day not to drink, and I no longer feel that way about drinking- after a number of months now I do feel free from it

@Becky3825 welcome back, I really hope you’re on the mend soon there’s so much illness going around it’s unreal

Evening shipmates! So much to catch up on. This thread moves at pace!
@WendyWagon I love the idea of a raspberry coloured jumper! I have not been bestowed by fate with impressive bosoms but still can’t drape stylishly. I aim for cool Nordic oversized chic but I look like a scarecrow that’s been attacked by crows.
Work is driving me to distraction but another day survived. I’ve been listening to a podcast with Gabor Mate and the impact of trauma on our adult selves. I was a perpetually anxious child -always taught to keep the peace and I see a lot of that in my youngest who despite being an adult in terms of the law has a lot of growing up still to do. she’s particularly anxious at the moment but I suspect she’s just able to share it now and it’s been there all along. I suspect my drinking hasn’t helped with that which makes me feel very guilty and sad. But onwards and upwards my friends. All we can do is keep moving forwards. She had therapy before which helped but has been reluctant to do this again. I’ve not pushed my luck tonight with her as I’m a compulsive fixer who always wants to make everything better. But I think she just needed me to listen so I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t easy but I think it was the right thing to do!

IWNDWYT 💜

Morning all, checking in. The glow wore off yesterday and had a fairly rubbish day - just things I would probably be able to brush off on a good day. Woken up feeling grumpy and down too.
Just need to push through it! Have a good day all. Xx

Morning everyone. Strength to those who need it.
IWNDT 💜

Day 9 here. I’ve woken up just now, 2 hours later than normal & actually feel hungover! Bizarre as I didn’t get hangovers when I was drinking. Can only think that maybe I didn’t have much water yesterday as I was busy? IWNDWYT 💜

Morning all. Day 12 here and after a weird dream I’ve woken up feeling quite emotionally raw. This is the longest AF period I’ve done in some time and since then I’ve had some pretty bad things to deal with. I suspect my nervous system finally feels able to start to process some of them. Today I will move with self love and compassion and IWNST.

Morning shipmates!
Lots to catch up on and nodding along to all your updates.
I'm still reading the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober which I love.
Really interesting bit around practicing gratitude- people that practice gratitude heal more quickly than people that don't. So being positive and kind to yourself matters. Also a helpful reminder to treat yourself like you would a small child (or in my case - dog!)
We make sure they have fresh air, exercise, healthy food, and sleep. We prevent them from having things that are bad for them (although Arthur dog is partial to the occasional bacon double cheeseburger). So I am going to treat myself with as much compassion, love and care that I treat Arthur.

IWNDYT

Good morning shipmates. Snow gone here, though it's still slippery outside. Even Sid's claws didn't prevent him from having a little slide, which I think he actually enjoyed.

Sorry you've got the dread lurgy @Becky3825 - my M has been full of it for some days now. It's beginning to grate - she refused to countenance anything other than hot water with lemon juice in it as "medicine" until I insisted on her taking proper cough mixture under mutiny conditions. Sid was instrumental in helping wrangle her to the pharmacist yesterday. There is much holding forth over the phone to friends about it all. Rictus smile firmly hitched in place. 😬

Sorry about your bad dreams and rawness @TheMentalMentalLoad - I'm experiencing similar at the moment. Very vivid, plausible dreams that drain the soul. My problem is that I was largely drinking to "self medicate" (always foolish) and blot out thoughts, memories and feelings. I'm glad I'm not drinking but the causes remain and I am forced to confront them. But we are strong - we have made it here, this far, and it's only a few steps more... I have re-engaged with the IAmSober and TryDry apps to try and keep me true. I used to like collecting stickers (child in the '80s!) and live for the Slimming World stickers, so I think it will be helpful.

We shall hopefully find out who the Secret Traitor is tonight - I'm thinking Fiona, but Sid thinks he's sniffed out Sam as the wrong 'un. We shall see. We were happy to see the new series of Pete Wicks' dog series on U last evening, love that. And Pirate Pete, hehe x

Strength and courage my friends. It is going to be alright. x

@REP22 Sorry you are coping with a stubborn poorly mother, I have been there and it is testing!. Would definately be up for meeting you and Wendy in the spring in person down here in the shire.

Feeling so depressed today but have applied for a few more band 5 jobs (only ones available basically in the whole of devon). Just want to get back to exercising as that helps my mental health so much.

Honestly feel like i'm paying for a crime in a past life sometimes.... not that I am being dramatic or anything 🙄

On another note - if helpful. I just looked back at my TryDry app and the 'cravings' score in the first couple of months. They are between moderate and very strong do the first six weeks with a peak on days 8 - 14 and then oddly again a few weeks later. I suspect the peak was my brain telling me that it 'wasn't that bad.'
So those of you in the first couple of months - look out for it. The cravings massively dropped off after that with only a very few days here and there which I suspect was more associated with a holiday or occasion.

If you like data, do record these things as it's fascinating to see how far you've come. I also wish I'd made more notes.