On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

@therockingbird hope you're doing ok

@ERN79 the hangxiety is the worst! Just get through today with comfort food and stay away from the hair of the dog!

I went out in the afternoon with a good friend of mine. He was driving so it was perfect, both on af beer on our mini pub crawl, then soft drinks at the pizza place.

Another week done and I feel the benefit of putting some distance between me and that relapse into daily drinking just a few weeks ago. I would love a couple cheeky drinks now and again but it's still too easy for me to backslide scarily quickly. So much simpler for me to just be sober sober.

This will be my first sober Christmas holidays, but I really want the story of my year to be "stopped drinking" rather than "stopped drinking for a bit".

All I want for Christmas is to be proud of myself for making a real positive change for myself and my family.

Yes, I hate the anxiety. Had an extremely lazy day. Still anxious but trying to get past it.
I don't know why I continue to do it.
Feeling ashamed & just rubbish.

Back to work today. Slept dreadfully. But anxiety starting to subside...
Have heard from the 3 others I was with & nothing mentioned with regards to me & possibly making a show of myself. I don't think I did... but theres the anxiety convincing me I did. 🤦‍♀️
Happy Monday all!

Sometimes I find it easy to be the healthiest me, making the best choices. Other days I just can’t. I don’t know if that’s a me problem or a human problem! But you’re not alone!

Hey everyone, sorry been AWOL. Had a few mulled wines last Friday night at our local lights switch-on with friends, then a couple of glasses of wine Saturday night at home watching a film.

Checked my apps yesterday and was comparing my Drink Free Days to last November, and I've gone from 18 to 22, so I'm very happy with that. Was feeling crappy and overwhelmed on Sunday evening so was beating myself up for drinking, but on reflection progress is progress. I also had 53 units last year compared to 41 this year. Down is down. Would like to keep lowering that number each year, but like to think I'm realistic with my expectations (and how sociable I am this time of year).

Sorry about your hangxiety @ERN79 , it's the worst :-( I have no idea why we do it to ourselves, I really don't...

Hi everyone, also been a bit quiet on here as festive/ silly season kicking off means I am drinking a little bit more. 3 Xmas “dos” already done and a few to go. Not been drunk at any of them but not got to the stage where I want to do them sober either 🧐.

Your post made me check my November stats @ForeverTipsy, I also improved on last November (85 units last Nov down to 76) so no where near as good as you but improvement nonetheless.

I don’t have any social event plans this weekend so will aim to be AF til my next Xmas party which is next Tuesday.

Hang in there everyone!

My app says 71.3 units in November. Is that a lot? I did the try dry test a few weeks ago to see if you’re a high risk drinker and it said I still am.

Then I think oh it’s too hard, we’re all going to die anyway, I may as well enjoy myself- and (what I call) moderate drinking is enjoyable. It’s the hangover and anxiety that’s not enjoyable, so if I can avoid those, can I feel guilt free?

@DoubtfulCat I think you just have to be honest with yourself and if you want to try it, be honest about how it's worked out or is working out.

I've asked the same questions, I've tried to be balanced and only get the good bits. That feeling of getting just a little bit drunk.

But it was scary how fast I was backsliding into patterns of daily drinking that I swore I didn't want to be doing. So I decided, for me, that I'd rather be sober sober than keep fighting the same uphill fight out of drinking over and over again.

@Addictforanex as the saying goes, we should only ever compare ourselves with ourselves (easier said than done, I know). So down is down and we should both feel good about it. You have got a lot of Christmas socials! I've only got a couple thank goodness. Though DH has stocked the cupboards at home with wine now, which I cannot resist 😣 Like @BezMills has experienced - my at-home frequent drinking has now increased.

Thank goodness for the Drink Aware App. I have now had just over 14 units since Friday (couple of glasses of red last night plus some Amaretto. Yes it affected my sleep badly and I feel like crap today. Why did I do it? Usual trigger for me; premenstrual hormones exacerbate my ADHD trait of overthinking and being internally hyperactive. So I used alcohol to try and chill me out, which it did whilst I was drinking it...then was awake more than I was asleep all night, was getting hot, weird dreams etc. Gah. That's me dry til Saturday now.

@DoubtfulCat the NHS recommends not regularly drinking more than 14 units per week, or 56 units a month. I guess if Nov and Dec are particularly drinky but you do Dry Jan and Sober October then it kinda evens out??

Planning to break my five week sober streak tomorrow, DH is going to be out and I am looking forward to a very large martini in front of a rubbish film! Funny though, I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks and now it’s almost here I’m thinking I could take it or leave it! It will be interesting to see how I sleep and how I feel the next day.

December is such a difficult time for sobriety/moderation. DH is taking it one day at a time, not planning to drink but also not planning to not drink. He is seeing a therapist about his alcoholic family and other things and I’m hoping he holds off a bit longer until he’s worked through some of that. But equally all the family gatherings are easier to bear with a drink! One day at a time. Well done everyone who’s cut down on their units. As a wise user said down is down!

@cranewife that’s big! How come you want to break the sober streak? Sorry if you’ve explained upthread.

Yes I find November and December is harder to moderate. We have a wine advent calendar FGS which I have “opened” but not drank. So 4 little 187ml bottles of wine are now queued up. But progress is we used to get 1 each, now we share 1 between us 😀.

Hi! So I stopped drinking to support DH, who finally admitted in late October that he has a problem with drink. (He has alcoholic family members which have seriously impacted his relationship with alcohol and though he’s not an alcoholic himself, when he does drink he binges and it has been destructive.)

I used to post on the people affected by alcohol thread. I considered leaving. But then things would be ok for a while… anyways in October he said he was finally done, he’s signed up for therapy, he hasn’t touched a drop since then. I’ve always wanted him to change but never enough to also go fully sober and this time was different for some reason, I think I’d had a couple episodes of hangxiety around the same time and I said I’d go teetotal too. Initially we agreed on a month but now it looks like a dry December and January too. Anyways we agreed he wouldn’t drink at all and I wouldn’t when I was with him but on girls nights etc he didn’t mind if I did as long as I didn’t get drunk. I don’t consider myself to have a problem with alcohol but I have definitely reevaluated my relationship with it. I’m so proud of him, he doesn’t have this great community either and is completely doing it on his own steam.

So Thursday was the first night I’ve had to myself since this experiment and I’d been planning for ages to indulge. I had a half bottle of wine (drank it as spritzers with peach sparkling water so it lasted longer) and a martini (planned on maybe having two, but one was enough in the end!!) I only like martinis at home when I make them myself exactly like I like them so I wasn’t missing the chance! I went to pilates too so I wasn’t straight on the bottle after work!

Friday morning I felt meh, not hungover but definitely took me longer to get out the door than normal. In the evening I was super cranky. No wonder we used to argue all the time before this! I didn’t feel bad enough to not want to ever drink again but we’re out for dinner tonight with friends and I was feeling a bit :/ about not being able to have a cocktail and now I’m really glad to stick to the soft stuff. Once a week might be my max now. Although I do look forward to my next solo martini.

So glad I’ve found this forum where we all want to do better but there’s no shame in indulging occasionally or not giving it up entirely! Hope everyone has moderate weekends or if you’re planning to go a bit crazy (it is December after all) that the hangovers are not horrendous 🙏🏻

@Addictforanex I thought you meant you shared a 187ml bottle of wine with dh 😂Realise you meant you shared the entire advent calendar with him, so 12 bottles each instead of 24? That's great! Little bottles are SUCH a good way to moderate, hey?

@cranewife thanks for explaining your story. Huge well done to your dh for doing it all alone (is he still having counselling?) and doing so well. Breaking generational cycles is NOT easy. Great you've also benefited, and yes, dh and I are more snappy and irritable with each other with hangovers, too. Like you say, it's not even a hangover these days for me; just one or two glasses of wine and the next day I'm sluggish, dry mouth, absolutely shattered etc.

Well, I was planning on having a couple of drinks at our local pub this evening as it's a Christmas get together with a group of friends...but I had a massive IBS flare up Thurs/Fri and I'm still feeling delicate now. Barely eaten for the past 36hrs to give my digestive system a rest (did a 23hr fast at one point; just mint tea and water). So, knowing that alcohol is my biggest IBS trigger, I shant be drinking at all tonight. I'm a little disappointed, but it's not worth it. Just tricky to find a drink that's not fizzy, alcoholic or caffeinated on a Saturday night in the local pub eh?! (think I'll just have the one soda water and lime, maybe a ginger beer but try and stir it til it goes flat?!). I have a busy day with the kids tomorrow anyway, and Christmas shopping, so know I'll be feeling smug and glad I stuck to soft drinks then.

Hope you're all having lovely weekends despite the shocking weather! (I might even drive to the pub, despite it being a 10 mins walk...at least I'll know I'll definitely not be persuaded to just have one...).

@ForeverTipsy sorry to hear about the flare up, take it easy. Nice silver lining that it stops the drinking I guess.

ha ha we do actually share the little bottles too! Between 2 they are a sort of measure you would get if you are doing a tasting menu with matched wines in a restaurant- so can make us feel quite fancy if we save up a few days and have 2 or 3 of an evening between us 😅

@Addictforanex ohhh! So a whopping 93.5mls each?! 😂 Love that you've turned it into a tasting evening, and variety is the spice of life and all that!

Yep, silver lining with the dodgy tummy. To be honest, that was the main reason for the start of my sober-ish journey anyway. I would have to stay near a loo the next day after having a few drinks, and it just wasn't worth it. as I've got older my tolerance for alcohol seems to be going down and down, so now even a small amount can sometimes cause a flare up. Just not worth it really (though I'll forget I've typed all this later in the month and be a glutton for punishment, mark my words !).

Bit of a blerpy weekend for me. Panto at the Community Club (oh yes it was!) and I definitely felt like a couple bottles of ale was justified. And to be fair I think it really was! Stopped at that, went home and didn't have any more. It was a friend's birthday and I could have headed down with DD in the car, to show face for a while, if I hadn't drank - but had to stay in because of the drinking. So I missed out a bit on some social time which wasn't a good trade tbh.

Then Sunday was the kids christmas party back at the club again. This time 3 beers then home, and I had that slight 'bad head' feeling which I really didn't appreciate! Similar again, could have headed down town for a wee bit, but was grounded because couldn't drive. I could tell I was being a bit crabbit, even though I was doing my best not to be.

So, on the balance I didn't really get much out of the booze, and it was a net negative on my weekend overall. Even just 2 on Saturday and 3 on Sunday. I think next time I'm much less likely to bother.

Today I feel fine, slept well and was in the gym for 7, no issues there, and this week I'm back on the wagon for sure.

Quiet thread, hope you're all doing ok. It can be a very difficult time of year.

Speaking of which... DFiL is very poorly and not expected to live for too much longer. It was very tempting last night to raise a glass to the auld bugger but the moment passed, and I didn't. I probably still will, at some point. In a lot of ways it will be a blessed release and a relief all round that he's past suffering, but that doesn't make it easy, if anything it makes the feelings more complicated and conflicted.

As we say up in Scotland, it's a sair fecht, and his fecht is almost over. I hope to be here to toast his memory for many many years to come, which is yet another reason to keep the heid and stay off the booze.

Here's to that.

Hello @BezMills so sorry to hear about your FIL, sounds so upsetting and distressing. I know what you mean about blessed release/relief/conflicted feelings as my mum suffered for months before passing, many moons ago. For years I would raise a glass on her birthday/anniversary of her death...but these days I raise a soft drink and have some cake instead. Figured she'd be proud of my sober journey. You're right - none of it is easy.

Sorry been quiet. Not much to report in terms of my alcohol consumption, as there hasn't been any for ten days due to IBS flare up and now I have an eye problem which needed urgent medical attention yesterday! I have to take dilating drops for a few days and they/the condition make my vision blurred, so feeling sick and dizzy a lot of the time. I've also got (yet another) upset stomach, so sticking to water and herbal teas. At least the scales are being kind to me ;-) Hoping to be 100% for Christmas Day where I can consume alllllll the calories/alcohol I'd usually have had by now in 48hrs instead haha. Sure that'd do my sensitive digestive system the world of good !

Hope everyone's doing better and enjoying some wins, big or small, and the festivities.

Sorry to hear @BezMills 💐 I’ll be thinking of you and your DH and family. If there’s ever a good time to raise a glass, this seems like it. I’ll be raising one in spirit with you when you deem the time right.
I had a glass of mulled wine yesterday at a work thing, just one though and then switched to fake stuff. 0/10, do not recommend n/a mulled wine, it was vile! Now on the sofa with a nosecco waiting for a chinese. Planning a non boozy day tomorrow, I’m at a girls night on Sunday and cocktails will likely be involved but I might alternate mocktails too so I’m fresh for Monday.

Hello haven't been here for absolutely ages but do enjoy reading your posts. I have managed to significantly cut down . Now mostly booze free I find I'm better to just have nothing as one triggers the desire for more !
So I have a very small annual event tomorrow with a small group of old friends always revolves around cocktails etc so how do you all manage this?
Was thinking of driving and bringing nosecco with me?
Any tips appreciated xxx

@notanotherroast

Yes driving is a good tactic, as is arriving with something AF that suits the occasion. Good luck!

I've been solo parenting last weekend, which has previously been a trigger/excuse for a night cap. I did have a dram on Sunday night but that was it.

I'm going out out on the 29th which will definitely be a big risk for drinking. I think I'll see how I feel on the day. If I take the car, that gives me good options especially later if people need a lift home. If I take the bus, it's effective saying I'm on it for the night and getting home could easily become a bit of an adventure!

I know re the driving but ironically it makes me detest taking the drinkers home!!!

Haha yes! Drunk tank taxi duty

Cocktail night with some friends on Sunday, I had two and went for a second but realised I was at my limit and switched to water. My tolerance has gone way down! Met lots of new people and didn’t have any hangxiety after so I’m very pleased.
DH worked late unexpectedly on Monday and I took the opportunity to have a small unplanned drink, only one though.
Tbh I’ve been feeling really low and I’m glad I’m drinking so little because I know it will only make it worse, but the one on Monday did take the edge off a bit, enough to distract from the SAD for the night. Back on the booze free wagon tonight though until we go to see the in-laws, DH is planning to not drink which will be a major deviation from prior visits! I’ll keep you updated…
@notanotherroast Driving and bringing something nice but NA is a good plan, I’ve been surprised at how not-weird it has been not drinking with mates even those who drink a lot, no one has commented at all except in a complimentary way. Maybe we just are lucky though !

Hope everyone is managing with all the festivities. Had my work Christmas gathering last night.
Very late night & too many drinks consumed, slightly anxious today but not to the extent I usually am. Little wins eh. Pushing through until bedtime & hoping tomorrow will be easier still. 🤦‍♀️