On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

@TiA303091 I was af for 5 months then went on holiday with dh's family - and caved. But only for 1 day ( heavily). The other days I just had a beer and a wine with dinner, so good for me.
Yes, my mind was a lot quieter when af. It's definitely the way forward for me.
I understand what your friend means - some situations I'd just avoid or stay in 🤣

@Goandygo can you recommend a good AF fizz? I have a bottle of McGuigan's AF rose in the fridge I am going to try one night when it's just me and DH so I can tip it down the sink if it's awful!

@harriethoyle oohh yes, my favourite topic atm.

1. Freixenet 0%. £5 tesco. Even the reviews say it's the closest to prosecco.
2. Aldis Nozecco - especially the rose..£2.99, brilliant value.
3. I love crodino - it's not cheap, £5 for 4 small bottles. Mix with fever tree blood orange or clementine and it's lovely. Like af aperol spritz.

These will get me through Christmas and next summer.
Winter I'm ok really - it's summer and holidays, my biggest concern.

I didn’t think I could do it either @ForeverTipsy absolutely in disbelief that I made it (well apart from the half glass of bubbly) I think it helped that DH was also abstaining, and after a couple of days it was easy, we were just in the habit of saying no/getting a lemonade or tea.
I’d like to have a drink on holiday in future but now I’ve done it I know I can do it again or at least have some sober days and not drink every day on holiday!
As soon as we got home though I felt like I wanted a drink, just out of habit! I had a 0% spritz on sunday (aperol knockoff by schweppes), wouldn’t buy it again but nice to try. Love an aperol though so I’m going to try a different 0% one I think. The next temptation will be at a funeral this weekend but hopefully the pub after will have a couple of NA options.

Read this after I posted.. I definitely have to get some crodino in!! Thanks for the recommendations!

@cranewife no worries and well done on your af holiday. You are my inspiration ❤️
(You can get crodino from Amazon too. 10 bottles £14 ).

@DoubtfulCat sorry to hear your dad passed with mesothelioma 😌 Although the post mortem didn't reveal any physical negative effects of heavy drinking, do you honestly think that your parents were drinkers without any side effects? Is it the hangovers and anxiety you think they were lacking? Or do you think they just didn't talk about it, or there is/was an element of cognitive dissonance? I know for my family it's the latter. It's like an elephant in the room for me now. Everyone on my mum's side is a heavy drinker; my half sister, my aunt and uncle, cousins, my nan was. They're pretty much all very overweight or obese (and are suffering physical problems from that like gastro issues, reflux, knee pain, on heart tablets, T2 diabetes etc) and I know my sister and brother-in-law are really struggling with anxiety now, which they never acknowledge is exacerbated by booze, or that my sister struggles with low mood and that alcohol is a depressant. They just don't talk about it. When I see them it's usually for a fun occasion so they're all happy drunks being hilarious and living their best lives 🤷‍♀️ I don't think for a minute their alcoholism is having zero effect on them, though.

@TiA303091 you weren't blabbering on at all, and isn't that what this thread is for anyway? 😉 I find it's helpful to get it all out. Oh god, I've never been to a Bingo Bango thing but agree it looks hideous without booze haha. I've got a problem whereby I'm hosting my boozy family at the beginning of January now. I normally do Dry Jan but cannot imagine having them all over and hosting for hours when I'll be surrounded by drunk people. May have to start my sober spell a little later than planned. Did 100 days at the start of this year and considering doing it again.

@cranewife well done again on your AF holiday - you are a Thread Hero! Sorry to hear you've got a funeral soon 😔

@Goandygo thanks so much for the AF alternative recommendations - I'd not heard of Crodino but love an Aperol Spritz so will definitely invest for a Christmas treat. I'm hosting this Friday night but planning on having a bottle of prosecco AND a bottle of 0% fizz on the go at the same time. I've done this before and it worked well - we all found ourselves topping up with the 0% stuff half the time, so halved the amount of booze but didn't really notice iykwim?

@harriethoyle please update us when you've tried that rose. I've been tempted to buy it in the past but am 99% sure it's going to be gross 😆

This is me but I can’t log in to that account for some reason so made another one!
Well last night… what a f*king mess!
Had a weird week at home mental health wise both me and my DH so I kind of knew I needed a blow out! But told myself oh I’ll have a few and be fine!
Went to a wine bar, classy with friends… had a glass of red, then two glasses of white. I wasn’t even enjoying them really and had a bit of a headache… should have gone home then. Nope went to another bar and had two cocktails… was pretty pissed by this point and that’s when I just carry on without thinking. Another cocktail and a shot later and I can’t remember much else. Thankfully (as cruel at this sounds) my friend was upset and crying so it took the attention away from me for once.

Got home and was chatting my husbands ear off apparently. Woke at 5am feeling horrific. Let the dog out and thankfully sat down as nearly fainted in the garden. I was probably dehydrated and had low BP as I’ve had this twice now when drunk when my whole body goes wet and I lose my hearing and then faint. Thankfully I made it upstairs and next I know my DH woke me up on the landing where I had fainted. I have a memory of laying there thinking is this what it feels like to be dead?! I had hit my head too. Then proceeded to be sick in the toilet and not on the floor like last time. Had some water and tablets and went back to sleep. Awake now with a bad head full of guilt AGAIN! Why why why do I keep doing it?! My DH is understandably worried about me and angry and I’m angry at myself. It wasn’t even like I enjoyed it!!

Have dinner out with friends next weekend and loaf of festive stuff but I CANT do this anymore! Also can’t bear the thought of them AF either!

@Yourlifeinyourhands

Oh my goodness that was definitely a bad night! Get through today any way (except booze!) you can.

It really was! WTF is wrong with me!
currently in bed whilst husband wants to decorate front room! He’s such a good person and I feel such a let down!

Sorry you had a bad week MH wise @Yourlifeinyourhands. That surely didn’t help things. My DH always struggles to moderate when he’s had a hard week mentally. Sounds like you need something else to help you blow off steam/process your emotions. Can you talk to your DH about how you are feeling. Although of course it’s hard if you’re both feeling weird.
Try not to beat yourself up too much today. It won’t help in the long run. It’s done now, just get through today as best you can 💐

@Yourlifeinyourhands would it be worth finding an alternative source of whatever it is you are looking for at these moments? Strong exercise maybe? Meditation? Sex with your lovely partner?

I am a bit fed up too. I resent having to think about alcohol and although I bought a 19Crimes 7% Chardonnay, I wish I’d not bothered. It’s ok, to be fair, it’s just a bit meh and not worth the £8 or the angst I am now getting (as my head has decided the ideal is 0 units, and any units are bringing guilt and turbulent dreams)! I’m also much tireder the next day than I used to notice being on the amount I’m having. So I think I may have to pull back to high days and holidays. You may have heard this from me before, expect to hear it again as well 😂

I’m switching to chocolate now. No idea how I’ll lose weight if I eat chocolate instead of drinking wine, but like the vape, one thing at a time!?

I wish I knew what it was I was looking for as something is clearly missing! I do enjoy the feeling of exercising I just find it hard to motivate myself to do it.. I mean drinking wine is a lot easier but expensive on my bank account and body!! I didn’t vape I guess that’s one plus… only as I didn’t have one 😂

I looked back at the CCTV of me coming home and I was sick outside before I came in the front door … what a bloody mess!

I only damaged myself this time. I took my son out for the day and he’s none the wiser.

I love 19 crimes and lower percentage is a good way to go as it’s better than the higher one you would have drank. We have lunch at friends we usually drink with tomorrow… taking wine for them but tbh I expect I’ll still feel hungover! What is your chocolate of choice?!

Thank you. My DH knows how I feel and why it happens but I know he’s getting frustrated with it! I need another outlet…

thank you for your kind message x

@Yourlifeinyourhands Tony’s Chocolonely or Lidl’s Seasalt one. Although Tony’s is now £4 a bar 😳 so I bought the half size one.

Ah yes I love Tony’s! Expensive but worth it!

Just pulling up a chair in here this morning .. I need to sort this drinking problem out. Every night I tell myself I won’t drink and every night I have a bottle of wine - I know it’s not good and today it stops. I’ve tried and failed before but really need to get a hold of this situation before it’s too late 🫤

@therockingbird you're in the right spot. Just make it through tonight. Can you give yourself something to do that will help keep you busy during the trigger times when you normally get the wine open?

If you need some moral support, post on here and you'll find it.

Yesterday was a testing day for me. I was in the club, everybody else was drinking, and I really fancied joining in, like really. I could almost taste the beer in the bottle I was looking at in the fridge.

I tried not drinking anything, but in the end had a couple pints of Heineken Zero and then fled the scene. I know if I'd stayed there would have been a few beers and maybe even shots (the people we were with tend to get on it). I was stone cold sober so could drive to Aldi and do a shop, then put some chicken on to marinade. Made us a nice chicken dinner and sat brushing DD (8)s hair. It was a proper proper tanglefest and I would have been a bit mardy about it I'm sure, if I had taken some drinks. Instead I was just calm and took my time, and we got it all done with only minor complaining (on both sides). Well done us.

That's a great achievement @BezMills - well done.

I noticed this weekend that I am becoming much more aware of my limits and when I starting to feel drunk as opposed to tipsy. Had drinks and dinner out on Saturday, early bird menu so back home by 7pm - and went onto lilt for the rest of the evening. A few months ago I would have uncorked another bottle. So I suppose that's progress of a kind!

@harriethoyle definitely progress. Nice to have the ability to switch gears! I've got some nice pop in the fridge now, in case I fancy something fizzy - all from good old Aldi. Their newish AF beer (Karlskroner maybe?), Aldi fat coke, sugarfree cherry coke, aldi sugar free fake Dr Pepper. I tend to bosh a can of fat coke or pepsi max just before teaching my Boxercise class to get hyped up, so I like to have some in the fridge (saving me a fortune at the club prices!).

Welcome @therockingbird and well done @BezMills. I felt so smug when I got home from the funeral this week sober and could get on with housework, less to do the next day 😂 hope you felt the same doing your shop and food prep. We’re trying to stretch our pennies til payday but I’m looking forward to getting in some nice NA drinks in the fridge when I do my payday big shop.

My weekend was as pleasant as could be with a funeral in the middle of it. I was glad we stuck to the 0s because we for sure would have been there til midnight, very drunk, if we hadn’t. It’s such an emotionally charged event. I saw a few people I hadn’t seen in years and I was glad to talk with them with a clear head and not have the horrible anxiety the next day overthinking every word I said.

Well here I am having a hot chocolate before bed! Day 1 done 💪

Meh. Had too much to drink last night & feeling rubbish this morning.
So anxious. Why do I do it! 🤦‍♀️