Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

I've just had a message ping up with an appointment with phlebotomy in February. Having had the scan on Monday I immediately panicked and assumed it meant they have found something, but I assume I'd be seen before then if so? I mean a blood test can be done anywhere in minutes, so I'm clinging to the idea that it's a routine LFT ahead of my next appointment with the liver nurse. The system (such as it is) seems to change all the time. It makes sense to have the results of a blood test ahead of the clinic appointment, but it doesn't usually happen.

Shipmates, seriously - if you haven't damaged your liver yet, please stop drinking? I know I'm lucky to have been able to stop drinking for so long, which completely changed my life and stopped things from getting worse; but I am still on a merrygoround of tests and clinics and humiliating declarations about my health. Endoscopies are not fun, but I get those every couple of years to check for varices. Ultrasounds are less intrusive. I get one every 6 months or so, and worry until the results come through, as they are to detect cancer and/or a worsening of my liver damage. I go to a clinic where I speak to a liver nurse, supposedly every year, but it is often longer between appointments. Nothing much happens, but it takes a chunk out of my day. I don't feel listened to - I know that my fibroscan score means I don't (or didn't) have cirrhosis, but they won't amend my records or give me another FS, so I can't track my progress or stop having to declare it on all sorts of forms (everything from joining a gym to going to the dentist wants a declaration of ailments) and pushing up insurance costs. And then there's the constant worry.

I know this is self-inflicted, and I am honestly grateful to get all the tests on the NHS, as prevention is better than cure, and if I am going to develop more problems it is better to find out sooner than later, but it is draining. I always seem to have an appointment booked in for something, and hate having to make excuses when I can't do social things as a result. I don't drive, and live a distance from the nearest hospital, so my husband takes me to appointments. He doesn't mind, but I hate that, too, as I am so ashamed of the whole thing. Don't do this to yourselves? I am 100% one of the lucky ones. At clinics I see the people who weren't able to stop, or who left it too late, and it is a lot worse for them. Some people need to get fluid drained from their abdomen on a regular basis. They have yellow skin, or Dementia-like brain damage (take the Thiamine, everyone!). Some are regularly hospitalised, and most people who are will die of it. It's just not worth the risk.

Anyway, I am now going to spend Christmas with a nagging doubt about the blood test at the back of my mind. Yay.

@Lavrander it was hello someday. The episode was midlife,perimenopause and sobriety. I’m also just starting another -drink less live better alcohol and the menopause. I find them quite helpful and it really helps me think about with hormonal changes why alcohol makes that worse!

@ShyMaryEllen i hope you’re recovered from the beetroot exercise. Although it made me smile which is a rare event on a workday!
and congratulations @HorrorFan81 thats a phenomenal achievement!

Just caught up @ShyMaryEllen im so sorry that you have ongoing health worries. If it helps i cant imagine a blood test for any major issues would be booked so far away. But could you call and ask? It’s a long time to be worrying.

Thanks @Carpetburn. I've looked on the app, and there are no clues. The hospital will just know that there is a test (and, presumably that it is an LFT) but won't know why. I agree that it's unlikely to be linked to the scan, as if they had seen anything I'd be recalled to the liver unit, and there would be other tests. It's just that in the circumstances my mind raced straight to catastrophe. I'll try to put it out of my mind, and hope there is nothing else lurking down the pipeline. It will concentrate my mind on staying AF though.

@ShyMaryEllen i think sharing a worry helps us come to more logical conclusions when often we can jump to worst case scenarios. Or think F it and then do something silly like drink.
I’d say my last 2 years of drinking alcohol have been putting me at real risk of health issues and posting here and chatting to others really helps.

I'm sorry you're going through this @ShyMaryEllen. Mentally that sounds so frustrating and scary along with everything else. Appreciate the wake up call. It's not a place I want to be. I would, every now and again, get a dull ache the morning after which won't have been helped by stupidly taking ibuprofen before going to bed in order to avoid the middle of the night headache. I have a health screening in a couple of weeks where I'll raise it.

I'm going to start a new thread tomorrow just before we run out of space on this one. I'll post the new link on this one.

@ShyMaryEllen i hope you get good news. I really wouldn’t catastrophise about the blood test booked for February; it does sound like up to date ones prior to your follow up in clinic. You could turn this around and think the scan was seen and it’s fine, book SME in the usual clinic. My best wishes to you.

@taylorean @HorrorFan81 @Whenindoubthugitout well done on your respective and respectable achievements 💐

@Lavrander thank you for doing another thread. I’m still reeling a bit from my blip after 4 months and thank you all for your support, it does help to frame it as a blip than a complete start-over. I know now close family are more difficult to say no to than friends and strangers and I’ll need a plan for that. (I’ve been going to a book club for ten years and I’ve never drank there, mad isn’t it, that’s what book clubs are mainly for!)

Morning everyone

new thread. Let's show winter who's boss!! Remember if you've name changed for these boards to check your username before you post xhttps://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5447104-support-thread-for-anyone-trying-to-lead-an-alcohol-free-life-winter-25?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Hi, just found this thread and wanted to pop in and say hello and introduce myself. I’m in my mid 50smum of 2 older teens, have an hubby and have been regularly drinking 2 bottles of wine a night since the pandemic. It’s done nothing for my waist line or my bank balance let alone my health etc. I’ve tried moderating but have realised this is not an option for me and want to stop completely. I managed Thursday to yesterday with no alcohol at all (had 0% fizz on Friday which was really nice and AF beers over the weekend) but managed to drink 2 bottles of wine last night and I feel disgusted with myself. Today is a new day and I’m feeling very positive. My danger time is getting home from work, in the kitchen on my own cooking.

Hi @AFLife welcome. You are in good company here.

Sounds like you already have a good idea of your trigger (s) AF fizz helped. Anything else help you change the routine? Notice anything else about what didnt work yesterday?

Had a stressful weekend dealing with elderly parents and in-laws who all live the other side of the country. I got through the weekend completely AF but the wine witch came calling yesterday evening.

Hi @AFLife and welcome. This is the “old” thread - there is a Winter 2025 thread which is more active and you will get a very warm welcome there. Will try to link in a separate post

Winter thread here (hope this works!)

Winter thread

Thank you! I’ll copy my post to there

Hello @AFLife Don't feel disgusted with yourself. Feel proud about the days you managed and that you are armed with the knowledge of your danger times. Keep on going - every little win is a step in the right direction.

Yes, it’s one day at a time isn’t it?

New here. Just wondering how the hell I'm going to navigate Christmas.

Morning all not been on in a while. Having a quick catch up on everyone’s posts and great to see so many new posts x
Heading onto my second AF Christmas (not without some blips over the summer) but great motivation to keep going as today ww complete on our forever home. It’s got a big wrap around garden and a tumbling down greenhouse and I’m so excited to enjoy these over the next many years and do not want any associations with drinking at this new house … new beginnings x
Been asked many times I’m sorry )including by me last year) but anyone else getting in or making some extra special AF drinks for Christmas? Looking for some ideas.
I quite like some of the not so fruity fever tree tonics but keep going back to good old AF beer which oddly enough I never drank when I did drink.
Really like the freixenet Prosecco as it’s dry and the belvoirs are okay too x

Morning Shipmates

@mumzof4x thats so exciting about the move, we have a lovely garden and it really brings me a lot of joy, we luckily inherited lots of established plum trees and loads of blackberries grow over the hedge at the end. I love it x

I could wax lyrical about AF drinks and like you weirdly I mostly drink AF beer whereas it was never my tipple of choice.

0% Beers - Peroni is my fave but I do like the kingfisher one they have in my local Indian. Moretti tastes a bit lemony.

0% cider - thatchers is delicious I think a good summer tipple

0% White - the M&S one is quite drinkable

0% Rose - only tried the M&S one and it was very sweet, probably more palatable with ice and lots of soda water

0% Red - only tried the Sainsburys one and it was hideous and next day gave me joint pain (I think from the tannins or other part in processing)

0% fizz of I’ve not tried but @Lavrander has recommended the 0% sparkling Chardonnay from Ocado so I’m going to get some of that in for Xmas.

0% spirits - mother root nice but v spenny ££ good ginger flavour, 0% Captain Morgan rum is great and I’m going to buy the 0% amaretto too from Ocado on @Lavrander advice.

I’ve really leaned into the 0% options and found them v helpful.

@Becky3825 are you ok lovely? Even if things gone awry we are all still here for you.

Hi @FiloPasty and @mumzof4x - this is the “old” Autumn 2025 thread - there is a sparkly new winter one, so pop over there and see everyone!

Wrong thread, sorry

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5447104-support-thread-for-anyone-trying-to-lead-an-alcohol-free-life-winter-25?page=6&reply=148979124

new thread link