200 days alcohol free- anyone wish to join?

[FeelingLessTired]

Several years ago, under another user name I did a 100 day alcohol free challenge and alot of people joined me on MN. It was before covid, so a long time ago!

I really appreciated the support and lasted 120 days in the end. ironically enough DH joined me IRL and he just continued on and has been teetotal since then.

I was reading Annie Grace back then (I think) and her recommendation was that if you slip, to then challenge yourself for double the time- hence I now wish to start and achieve a 200 day challenge.

I'd love some company if anyone wishes to join me!

I have a funeral today and plan to drink J20 with tonic water. The deceased was a good friend of DH's and although he was in his early 70s drinking definitely played a part in his extreme fragility over the past few years. He's been really ill for a good ten years I think.

I have set out a spread sheet with my alcohol-free savings. In the last week i have definitely reduced and have saved just shy of £50 already (since the beginning of April) as we have had a fair few dinners and lunches out. I look at what I would have drunk (sauvignon blanc here and there) and when i have not had it I add that cost to my spreadsheet. That does help to inspire me because COL is biting us hard right now.

@FeelingLessTired as you can tell I like checking in too 😅. We have similar in our town tomorrow as well. It's basically drinking thing from 2pm onwards. I was feeling confident but now I'm having a slight wobble about sober dancing. But also reminding myself that if I did drink I'd be right back at square one again would probably damage my ankle even more (and maybe something else!). I know I can't moderate. All is not an option for me, so it has to be nothing. I read something on one of the other threads (I hope they don't mind! 😂) about not seeing it as depriving yourself from something you want, but rather not giving yourself something that's bad for you. They worded it much better than that but I think it helps!

I know everyone at my table is going to be side eyeing me tomorrow thinking I'm pregnant because I'm not drinking, which is a bit of a sore spot tbh. I did think about putting a message in the chat basically saying I won't be drinking but I'm not pregnant but I don't want to make it a big thing when to everyone else it probably isn't!

Well I got to day 198 after dry January and then shared a bottle of wine with someone. Since then I had a glass at the theatre and one earlier.
I'm not troubled by it. I always managed to moderate my drinking but I want to optimise my health really. Going forward I expect I'll have an occasional drink and try not to over think it. A bit like having the odd chocolate (which I almost never eat). If I had one drink a week it is barely going to register. I think I'm trying to say I don't want to be so evangelical about it and have a glass of red once in a while. It feels more like me.

@Goandygo tbh I don’t think I even enjoyed the taste of alcohol. But I loved the feeling of numbness and the glow. So I’m the same - why have 1 then stop? I’d want at least 3…. How’s your arm feeling now?

@paintcolourchart your trydry results are pretty impressive! My resting hr dropped by10bpm exactly 1 month after Iquitos!

@FeelingLessTired i think ice cream is essential to remaining sober ….

@Sonnet how are you doing? Still smashing it?

tbh I didn’t love the party last night - it descended into shots pretty early and I just felt a bit naff stood at the side with my water…. After 3 hours of it I was longing for bed. Didn’t even bother with my new af wine!
hoping you all have a fab weekend living your best sober lives.

@88expertprocastinator it's a shame you didn't enjoy the party, but never mind. Maybe just one of those things ? I think I'd be wanting bed after 3 hours, too.
Arm is a bit better thanks. I'm hoping that after 5 days of tablets, I'm feeling more like me.
@paintcolourchart as you know this time I've been more successful than all my other attempts. Many factors but at the start of this attempt, I actually told myself if I wanted a drink that badly, just have one.
Now I don't know if that would work for you and I'm not even sure why it worked for me, but maybe reverse psychology? Taking the mystique, allure away ? I don't know. I just know other times the Forbidden Fruit won.
@WorriedMutha yes, I like your attitude and approach. You have to find a way that works for you. Getting to day 189 is brilliant and even if you did share a bottle with someone, it's still brilliant. For me, I just think I don't want to do it anymore but I'm aware it may happen. I would try to not overthink it, too - take the positives I say.

How was the tennis @Goandygo ? Hope you feel better too.

It's interesting @88expertprocastinator what you say about the taste of alcohol. I read the Jason Vale chapter on exactly that last night. It's true- I don't really enjoy the taste. Whenever I have had a few days off when I have a drink I think 'Yuck, sour'. But I kind of push through. How nuts. But I LOVE the taste of a spicy tomato juice and drinks like coconut water (ahah! That can be my drink today!).

I'm sorry the party was not much fun. But you smashed it.

I am definitely all or nothing. One drink is never enough. I'd love to moderate like you plan to @WorriedMutha . I know some people can do a dry stint and it 're-sets' them. That used to be my goal I think. But I think I really have come to the conclusion now that it has to be total abstinence for me as the goal. There may be slips but that is the goal. I have for decades misused alcohol to quieten the anxiety and chatter in my brain- and what's ironic is that the past week or so I have achieved that simply by not drinking.

Hope your village event goes well @paintcolourchart . Can you just leave if it gets too much? I like that quote! I really love The Sober Cafe on facebook. I have not posted myself yet, but might one day. But it is filled with people talking about how once they stopped drinking they truly started living.

Today I will take the DCs swimming. Then we will go into the town for a bit. There are a few popup food places and my favourite Thai van is here. So I shall buy myself a red prawn curry and pizzas for the DCs and we will sit in the park with coconut water (!) and watch the festivities. See if my icecream baby can make room for some Thai red curry.

Hope everyone has a lovely day.

Oh and I can report- sober sex. Agree with @paintcolourchart . It's rather nice.

Just hopping on mid sober 'drinking' event. It's very boozy - the first 'game' was stand up if you have an 'x' on the back of your bingo card - I did (there were about 20 of us) and the 'prize' was an apple sourz shot inside a Smirnoff ice drink (I didn't drink it). Every single prize is booze. I've had one person basically saying I must be pregnant and one more who suspected so I just outright said I wasn't.

Who knew I could dance sober 😅😅 and ENJOY it!!

I knew the AF drinks choices would be awful so I was prepared and brought my own - I have back up in my car in a Stanley so that's where I've ducked out to now to get it 😅

Hope everyone is doing well!

Back home from sober 'drinking event' - will check in properly tomorrow as just about to climb into bed. I added another star to my collection today too. Actually bloody proud of myself!

Looking forward to a good catch up tomorrow

@88expertprocastinator a 10pm drop in heart rate is huge! That's great! I haven't had a heart rate drop notification yet, which I am surprised about but I have had a respiratory rate increase - not sure if that's a good thing or not? I have noticed my anxiety changing though. I no longer feel the terrible hangiety the next day but I am still getting it in the day and it seems to increase in the evenings too. I'm getting more palpitations in the evening and when I'm going to sleep (thankfully not every night) which is really not a nice feeling. It's a shame you didn't enjoy the party, but it does sound like the others were on an annoying drunk level which is hard if you're sober!

@Goandygo yes, that's exactly what I thought for the drinking event yesterday. I did take the car but I could have easily left it so if I really wanted a drink I would have just had one.

So I actually had a great time yesterday - I didn't enjoy it any less than those who were drinking. I danced most of the afternoon (I thought I would regret that today but so far so good with the ankle, I think wearing slight heels helped!). By the end of the night I had 3 people at my table assume I was pregnant because I wasn't drinking and then one woman who I didn't know outright touched my belly and asked when I was due on the dance floor. I almost let it ruin my night but I didn't. I am overweight and people do assume I'm pregnant and have done ever since I had my DS a few years ago because my belly never went properly down. I do want another but we had such a horrible time having our first that I don't even know if we can do it again, and now with what we've got on atm it just isn't feasible. So it's pretty annoying having all the bloody pregnancy comments but there you go, clearly I have to do something about my weight. I was just so annoyed at that woman because up until that point I'd been feeling great and reasonably confident. The dress I was wearing was loose fitting as well so I have to say I was a bit shocked at the comment!

Anyway, my mum was the event too and the more she drank the more she wanted to drink. We went by the shop on the way home so she could get a couple more mini bottles and then she could barely walk up the stairs. Definitely made me glad I didn't drink. She didn't have any more fun than me because a % of her drink had alcohol in it and mine didn't.

Sorry for the long post but a few takeaways from yesterday:
-I didn't have any less fun than anybody else.
-If good AF drinks were readily available at the bar then no one would have even noticed I wasn't drinking, it was just obvious because I took some af tins in with me and they were left on the table.
-Making sure you have good alternatives to drink is key!!

Dr Alex George had a good post up on Instagram yesterday about being sober btw.

How is everyone else doing?

Hi @paintcolourchart - late post from me as I've been out walking.
I can't believe how rude some people are. Why can't people just mind their own business? I would never assume someone is pregnant just because they weren't drinking and definitely not if they're a bit overweight. Unbelievable.
Good for you not letting it ruin your day. Though how there wasn't murder on the dance floor, I don't know.
You did so well - keep doing what you're doing - it will all come right in the end ( and you'll have your manners and sobriety intact).
All good here. Sister and I were looking at low alcohol cocktails in the supermarket - 3% - they looked lovely, but not yet.
I'll stick to caramel lattes 😋

Agree with @Goandygo about rude people! But it also demonstrates how ubiquitous drinking is that people suspect a reason / demand a reason/ manufacture a reason to explain why someone does not drink. People sometimes assume DH had an alcohol problem which is why he does not drink. Could not be further from the truth. (Me, on the other hand... !).

Congrats on succeeding at the party. That was a big event!

Not much going on here. I am plugging away. Bit bored today tbh. I'm on plain water today. Decided not to drink my calories.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Evening tribe, hope you're all ok.
I've had a busy day. Lots of things today would have definitely previously led me to a glass or 3. Shopping / laughing with my sister ( we'd usually stop off in a bar, but she's actually cutting back too, so it's working well).
Bought some new furniture with dh - that would have called for a glass of fizz.
And lastly we went to our favourite restaurant for our favourite food.
The last one was a bit difficult. Walking through town seeing all the bars and people out..... In the actual restaurant I fancied a glass of wine but ordered af perroni ( had 2 - delicious). I was tempted though - I thought of @FeelingLessTired, @88expertprocastinator and @paintcolourchart ( all of you really) getting through your events and felt somewhat stronger.
Home now - sparkling water and caramel lattes.
Day 64 ✅

Well done on Day 64!!

Day 22 here. . I had an unexpected coffee with a good friend. She asked why not drinking and I just said it really does not help with my fibro and I have been off it for 3 weeks and feel much better. We chatted about booze and she said she's been struggling with it for a while now so we chatted about that and my struggles also. I also told her that the fibro was true- but also a very convenient excuse for me right now.

In the afternoon I was quite triggered for various reasons (it ended up being more social than I expected) though but AF cider worked. I just thought how annoyed I would be with myself. Plus for me a slip usually becomes a slide.

I hope everyone is fine and well. Another day down for me. I'm glad it's almost over though because moments were hard.

@Goandygo the woman's comment nearly did spoil the rest of the evening tbh, but it isn't the first time someone's said it to me. It is the first time since I've been feeling a bit better about the way I look though. Not relevant really but she was overweight herself so I would have thought she would have had the sense not to say, but there we are. My mum said I look like I've lost weight and look less 'puffy', so every cloud I suppose. I did expect the ones I'm closer to at our table to suspect pregnancy because they do know I want another, and it was a boozy event. Huge well done on day 64!!! Also well done on abstaining during times you would have drank today. Glad you felt like we were with you helping you stay on track!

@FeelingLessTired I know, it's very frustrating! It's funny (well not really!) people assume your DH had an alcohol problem just because he doesn't drink. It's true what they say - alcohol really is the only drug you have to justify not having. Thank you, I'm really pleased today! Tbh I was pleased at the event and I didn't feel like I was missing out at all. It's funny what you say about your friend also wanting to cut down - I always assume I'm the only I person I know who struggles with moderation but then I have to remind myself that alcohol is an addictive substance and they'll be lots of others struggling behind closed doors! Well done on day 22!!

Day 30 for me. Time to take the final 'drinking' crystal out of my dish tomorrow as that will have been a month ago tomorrow, and then I will just keep adding to my 'sober' amethsyt ones. Going to get a nice small bowl for them all this week so they look prettier!

Chill evening ahead here. Not tempted at all, and still very surprised at this. It's like my mindset is now the same as a non drinker, but it's only been 30 days! very aware/scared that this could change, but I will embrace it and enjoy it while it lasts!

Oh also, I added vitamin b complex to my supplement routine today - I read it's meant to be really good (essential, actually I think) when you're quitting so just thought I'd mention it here.

@FeelingLessTired awh, sorry its been a hard day but.....you didn't cave and you're building those 💪.
Thanks so much for.....'A slip becomes a slide.'
I love that ❤️
@paintcolourchart well done on Day 30 - I love an even number.

Just popping in to say Hi and still on the AF journey after my social weekend.

Friday at the races I was fine on sparkling water, didn't even get a twinge of wanting a drink. I did slightly at the party on Saturday but only very fleetingly. I even danced sober and I thoroughly enjoyed myself :)
I struggled yesterday when we went for a drink with our neighbours and nearly gave in but decided not to as I want to get to 13th September without a drink at all. But it was hard.....
Lovely to read all your stories and excellent progress 😀

@Sonnet hi and excellent progress yourself.
You've had a few social engagements there, you've done really well.
Apart from my meal yesterday, I haven't been tested like that.

Well done @Sonnet !! That's great! I don't know about you, but I found dancing sober quite liberating! Thankfully the music was good, otherwise I don't think it would have been so easy! Does 13th September make a specific number of days for you?

@FeelingLessTired 'a slip becomes a slide' could not be more true...!

That's amazing @Sonnet Good on you! It was a big big weekend and you aced it. Very inspiring! So many tests in one weekend. It was daunting just reading about it!

I wish I could take credit for 'a slip becomes a slide' but I read it somewhere once. Might even have been MN.

Hope everyone is well and fine. All okay here. Day 23!

He youre all doing so well!

im still af but have been in a right funk - can’t figure it out - had months of feeling great but utterly fed up and grumpy. Hoping it passes soon but avoiding people atm cause I feel I just can’t be bothered - oh and I have a really sore throat, so feeling miserable on top of feeling miserable.

cant keep up with everyone but @paintcolourchart hope youre admiring your new crystal today and don’t let other people bring you down - you are doing fabulously well! @Sonnet it is hard but you’re doing it! @Goandygo its all about building new routines that don’t involve alcohol - that’s the really hard bit but you did it - so easy to say sod it and fall back into old habits! You should really be very proud.
@FeelingLessTired like your quote and love that you’re always here cheering us all on - you are so close to a month - for me that felt like a huge achievement.

Day 197 so 3 more to get to 200. I’d like to stay here if that’s ok but I’m going to try to stop counting and make another switch to it not being a target, but more a new way of life - I’m better with targets so that will be hard for me….

Day 197!!

Please do stay! We will be on our second thread before long and I thought it could be called '200 Days .... and Beyond...'.

Sorry you feel a bit grumpy though. Hope you feel better soon.

@88expertprocastinator I know what you mean. This time is actually different for me because although I'm counting, I'm not dragging myself through it. I want to change - I'm not really missing it ( the odd blip). I just happen to know how many days.
Like @paintcolourchart I'm talking and living like a teetotaller. I think my dh thinks I'm just taking a break - but I'm not.

Morning all. Just dropping by to say Day 24 for me.

Hope everyone is well.

@FeelingLessTired well done on Day 24, you're doing brilliantly.
All ok here. Bit anxious regarding walking holiday and arm / shoulder. Night times are the most uncomfortable and not being in my own bed won't help......BUT, I am staying positive. I'm going to pack so lightly, and get another arm support. I've already got foot 'stuff', so that's good ( spray, footsoles, plasters...).
My first aid bag is 3 times the size of my make up bag.

When do you leave for your holiday @Goandygo ? Hope it goes very well and your arm and shoulder holds up.