The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Hello shipmates, hope your Sunday is going well.

I bet you look gorgeous in your new PJs @WendyWagon - much as we'd all love to wear nothing every day but those flattering hospital gowns... PJs are the only way.

Sorry you're having neighbour issues @Womanshour - it's awful when you can't escape from it. Hope better days lie ahead.

Sid has had another clear night and continuing to improve. I batch-made my teriyaki salmon last evening, so he has had some fish skin, which he loves. Very sunny here too. For the first time, Sid and I have sat outside in the garden. The sun has gone round the corner now, so we've scurried in.

Strength and love. xx

Yes @Kindtomyself - I’d run a bit in lockdown, then found that it was much easier without the heavy legs of post alcohol dehydration! Oh, and my mornings were much longer as I woke up early feeling fresh.

I also found the mental tools I’d needed to get sober helped with running and vice versa. I ran my first half marathon when I’d been sober for just over a year, and my first marathon just after my second anniversary.

There’s a gym on my usual running route with a sign outside that says “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you”

Ain’t that the truth!

@Womanshour glad that it resonates with you and sorry you’re having neighbour issues, its awful when you’re facing that stuff.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I’m impressed and with others in their running. I’ve run a few 5k’s so looking forward to seeing improvements there. I won’t be increasing to a marathon but perhaps a 10k

Thanks for the tag@mermadeincornwallx
Having a quick catch up on the thread. Apologies I don’t seem to have been on much or added much at all .
Well done to everyone who managed to avoid the witch again this weekend x
Every day is one massive achievement for us all.
I still love my sober app and get stupidly excited when I get a new badge -
Apparently I’ve saved £928 so far and passed up on 1183 units of alcohol!
Day 104 today and I noticed I really didn’t think or crave the wine witch once this weekend.
Really enjoying doing all the new things I didn’t even remember I loved and new things too … like my crochet and Tai Chi .
Planted a few new seeds and took my daughter riding at 9.30 this morning too . Unheard of 4 months ago.
I could never have imagined how it felt not thinking about wine until I realised this weekend I don’t and it’s such a relief.
Today is a good day but reading some new quit lit to keep nurturing the sober me.
Reading “ Love your sober year” and its really good would recommend x

Morning 36 days completed. Woke feeling a bit flat but possibly because It’s a Monday and back to work after the weekend.
I love my weekends much more now, I always felt quite muddled, can’t think of any other way to describe it, like I couldn’t think straight but I don’t feel that now.

@mumzof4x well done on 104 days, which app do you use to count the days? I’ll look out for My Sober Year, I’m just reading Soberful and also listening to the podcasts of the same name,

I think I really need to keep focused on my sobriety as it’s easy to become complacent which scares me. I am terrified of what might happen if I drink.

Mornng gorgeous sober shipmates.
I will not drink today.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
So many times I covinced myself I could moderate. Wise words from Albert Einstein,maybe he was the same.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

I did Relate with xH @SmellyMe ,was the best money ever spent, he suggested it as ' I had issues', turned out I was fine and exposed him to be a controlling lying selfish wanker. He hated being held up to account for his behaviour. I divorced him shortly after, he was gobsmacked. Oh how I laugh now.

@ShyMaryEllen I agree, pictures should be at eye level !!!!! Loving your life on the edge but commiserations about your neighbours.

Good to hear your doing ok @WendyWagon ,I love sort your life out, I'm planning a clothes cull myself.

Morning - Happy Monday to everyone. I am pleased - and not unflabbergasted - to report that my blood results were all “normal” (it was a full screening, not just LFT). It was odd - having been fairly sanguine (haha) about the results, when it came to making the phone call I went into abject panic. Compounded by having to request a callback as I was number 15 in the queue. I went straight from thinking there would be some damage, hopefully not too bad and manageable, to catastrophising that I would be diagnosed with cirrhosis and liver cancer and be given four months to live. And then was planning how I would spend those four months and that I might as well drink as the damage had been done, and go out in a blaze of glory. All this in 20 minutes - my mind can work quickly at times! Anyway, to be told all is well (not even pre-diabetic due to excessive cake consumption) was such a huge major relief. And has reinforced that I really cannot drink. I appear to have dodged the bullet this time, but under no illusion that I’ll get away with it again. So onward fellow shipmates!

Morning all.

I'm grabbing coffee and toast before my book club meeting. The book (The Marriage Portrait, @REP22) remains unread, but I feel duty bound to attend.

I'm still struggling with the placement of one picture🙄. It is about 100cm wide, but only maybe 30cm high, and it needs to go above a sofa. If I put the bottom of it at the right height the top seems stupidly low, and the reverse is also true. I hate to say it, but it may have looked better where it was (ie too high). Husband is losing patience with the whole shebang, as he is firmly of the opinion that if a job has been done (however badly) it should remain done until the end of time. I incline to a very different view, but also want the thing off the floor and back on the wall before Grandpuppy arrives on Thursday, so we are rapidly approaching a state of domestic disharmony.

I was out last night with friends who are not by any means big drinkers, but I was the only one on soft drinks. It was very obvious to me that they were not sober (half a bottle of wine each), and I found it really irritating when they were laughing loudly about nothing. It may have been my mood to blame, as another friend has had some worrying health news, and it was preying on my mind. I am fully aware that I have no room to complain, as they were friends in my drinking days when half a bottle didn't touch the sides, but all the same it was annoying.

Reading this post back, I think I need to get a grip on my grumpiness, don't I?😂

Morning all.

I found it an interesting fact last week about alcohol making estrogen work overtime. Not sure if it is a factor in my illness but I was on the Google.
I surprised the surgical team by not needing a ICU bed but they cautioned me later re my meds and not drinking. When I repeated I didn't drink they were a bit flumoxed as to what I do at weekends. Not a lot at the moment but hopefully I will be gardening. I might start jumping from the wardrobe too! 😄

@FaithHopeCarnage i had a similar feeling too if I was on my way out the champers was getting drunk. Tbh it hasn't even winked at me. I've been drinking fresh juice, bloody lovely.

Hello, can I please join?

I've had a long and very complicated relationship with alcohol. Never a "rock bottom" situation, just the lack of an off switch. I'm exhausted with trying to moderate, it never works. It's just endless bargaining with myself, and millions of decisions. I read recently that trying to moderate is "all of the work of AF without any of the benefits", and I think that just about sums it up. I'm planning to do Sober Spring, which lasts 90 days, which I hope will enable me to stop for good, and also give me an "excuse" as far as other people are concerned. I will need support, and you all sound so kind, funny and articulate!

@TeaRose29 welcome.
90 days is a good target.

Welcome to @TeaRose29!

Your journey sounds familiar. The evening that made me stop wasn't heavy - two pints over dinner, two glasses of wine afterwards - but I woke at 3am feeling anxious and miserable. I couldn't get back to sleep, was exhausted for the rest of the day, then decided I'd just had enough.

Welcome @TeaRose29 - I am very glad that you have found us. It's very brave to decide to do something about problem drinking. Brilliant. It might not be always easy but I can absolutely guarantee you that it will be worth it.

Strength and courage to you all. It will be alright. x

Welcome @TeaRose29 - Sober Spring is a great idea. It did it for me!

Come on in, @TeaRose29.

90 days is a great place to start, as you will have reaped (is that a word?) most of the benefits of stopping by then. You should have noticed changes in your skin, sleeping and appetite, and if you have regular LFTs they should have improved. Plus, they say that it takes 90 days to lose a habit, so that side of things should be easier too.

I think you're right about moderation - it's bloody hard work, and when you look back at some of the daft bargains you might have made with yourself you'll see it for what it is. It's much easier to 'just say no' a la Zammo. Do get some Thiamine, though (Vit B1) and take it in high strength doses for six weeks or so? It will help stop any brain damage that can happen if you stop drinking suddenly. You can't overdose on it if you take it singly. If you take too many B Complex tablets it is possible to overdose on some of them, but it's ok to double up and take B Complex and thiamine as you will excrete any excess B1 in your wee.

@mermadeincornwall , @Womanshour @WendyWagon, @Kindtomyself yes you’re right. I should go myself. Ive realised I don’t actually know how to be happy!!! It’s not depression, it’s just not a ‘skill’ I possess. I see everything through a prism of negativity. A gift from my mother.

I’ve also been trying to change a lot of things all at once and it’s a bit overwhelming. Patience was never a virtue I possessed.

@mumzof4x hahah! I used to think you were a million miles ahead of me. I’m 72 days now but somehow the gap seems a lot smaller than it did in January when I was starting out. I’m still very much inspired by you. 😁

my sleep has been off again. I think it must have gradually got better and I didn’t realise until it got crap again. I’ve been super busy and wasn’t using my tracking app and thought I was absolutely fine; thinking, I’ve cracked it! But then got to thinking, ‘I feel just the same, why not just buy some beer and wine?’ I haven’t given in, but it made me realise that maybe I should read some more quit lit again like others have suggested- thanks for the tips. I read somewhere that the 7-week mark is where lots of people fall off the wagon as that’s when the boredom sets in and the pink cloud (if you’ve had it) goes. Being at 10 weeks, I appear to be 3 weeks behind the average Jo so maybe I can apply that metric to other things. That would require more patience 🤔

@REP22 im still marvelling at the Ceaușescu flowers! 👀 Trauma!

My my sober friendship group.
I will not drink today.

I had 121 day ones last year. Sheer bloody determination got me though to finally stop.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Welcome aboard @TeaRose29 Sober Spring sounds wonderful. My mind constantly felt chaotic whilst moderating,all the bargaining and planning, that's definitely a sigh to stop.

I wasn't happy about the height of a picture shelf @ShyMaryEllen, thought I'd leave it there for while and live with it. Now I think it's right. Perhaps Google some photos of the same set up you have?

You must be so relieved @FaithHopeCarnage to have more than four months left.

I've resigned myself to one thing at a time @SmellyMe, I'm so impatient to get it all done now,and I forget to look back at how far I've come.

Morning all.
I've woken to a swig of fresh orange juice to take my meds. It's like a angel crying on your tongue!

I can honestly say I thought about it all night (I had to bring it upstairs as it would get pinched).
Blood orange tomorrow I think.
I'm craving 'school dinners' mash and mince to get it down.

100 days sober for me was life changing. I was so proud of me. Others said I couldn't do it but that's a red rag to me. We are what we are but the human body is caple of great change. Make that change and enjoy the freedom. A glasd of rotten fruit in water has no nutritional value.

Morning. 37 days completed. Good sleep. I have started to build good habits. Exercise, movement and nature - I’m going for fresh air each day even if it’s only 10 minutes. I have started running again - twice a week.
I have slowed down, I was forever running about (metaphorically) avoiding emotions and then sitting down for a glass of wine to calm down. That doesn’t work. I didn’t know how to calm down/relax without it. I am now learning.

@SmellyMe taking time to talk about yourself is a huge gift to yourself. It’s a statement of self care. Find the right person ie therapist and you will make shifts in how you see yourself and the world. I had to have someone who helped me to build my self esteem so I had a LifeCoach but there’s so many different ones out there. Absolutely nonsensical that I have spent lots of money on trying to sort out my mindset, anxiety, confidence only to go and drink copious amounts of alcohol and then wonder why I felt shit….

Welcome @TeaRose29 lovely to have you here.

@mermadeincornwall wow 121 days of day ones, I very much releate and hope you feel flipping proud of your grit to do attempt 121 x

Good morning shipmates.

"An angel crying on your tongue" @WendyWagon - brilliant. 🙂 On a hot day, I LOVE fresh orange juice (with bits) with lemonade. Lovely.

@SmellyMe Ceaușescu flowers, I know. I was young and cute then. Be assured that I am no longer so easily used. I will be presenting nothing but the middle finger to The Orange One on his state visit. The man's a maggot.

Sid is restored to full health. Phew. He claims he's still too weakened to swab the decks. But I know a malingerer when I see one. 😉

Strength and courage to you all. You're doing so amazingly well. xx

@Kindtomyself self care is indeed what I have been utterly crap at. I have literally made NO time for myself. That’s the irony of going back to full time work for me… it’s actually given me freedom and space and made me feel human again. I was terrified by the thought of it, though. By stopping drinking, I have reactivated my brain. I have a sense of purpose and achievement.
I am interested in things!! And I have a really lovely boss which helps a lot.

@mermadeincornwall yes, one thing at a time!

re diet. I think I’m going to cut out sugar. It sounds stupid now I think about it, but I’ve had so many cues and ignored them. During my pregnancies I was always on the cusp of GD but never needed treatment. I completely went off fruit during pregnancy #2 and have struggled to eat it since. I force myself to eat the odd orange or apple and I can only eat bananas if they are chopped into something - never from the skin. Pre children, I ate lots of fruit, but got stuck with this aversion that I’ve never overcome. Duh, perhaps it’s my body’s way of screaming that it can’t cope with all the sugar. Shame it never gave me an aversion to booze 😂. Recently, all my snacks have been on the sweet side. In fact, I am snacking way more than I ever did. I thought I was being organised by adding more to my lunch box/bag but really it’s the main cause of the scales not budging. Snacks are off the menu! I am gripping the desk and procrastinating on MN to get through the pangs!! Kettle next.

Now I love celery (I know weird west country person). Ditto parsnips. I like cream cheese with the celery though.

I no longer eat both lunch and dinner but that's more about my gallbladder. It's playing the washing machine concerto this morning.
Tbh I don't know how I lost all the weight but the DS thinks it's to do with the removal of the steriods. I didn't have a problem until then.
I think we have to find something to plug the alcohol gap. That's why I buy very expensive cherries etc.