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Alcohol support

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The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

992 replies

REP22 · 28/08/2024 11:42

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

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ShyMaryEllen · 31/08/2024 19:53

Oh, that's excellent, @EastCoastDamsel!! Tell him your imaginary friends are delighted for him.

SylviaB · 31/08/2024 21:34

Joining as planning a sober September. Haven't had time to read the whole thread but there are some names I recognise.

Have a holiday with my grown up DCs planned in a weeks time. I'm really tired and my sleep is terrible. I just want to reset it and any advice from the experts on this thread would be welcome.

FlakyPanda · 01/09/2024 05:51

Hello,

I would like to join you all, if I may.

It’s day nine and I’ve never bothered (until now) to even attempt long term sobriety (excluding 2 pregnancies). I’ve been a reckless binge drinker for years, always “going with the flow” of whatever everyone else is drinking (as long as it’s booze), then taking it too far, not knowing when to stop. Having to be poured into taxis/ put to bed was “normal” 🫣. I’ve had too many embarrassing moments to recall (and many impossible to remember due to blackout).

9 days ago I watched a video of me with my kids and DH at a party, I was slurring and sloppy and not the person I want to be. I hated seeing that for my kids. They deserve better and so do I. So, I want to join you sober crew and enjoy life AF 🙏🐼

Chance21 · 01/09/2024 07:51

Morning all
thank you for the welcomes back. I did my first festival yesterday sober!! I have to say I hated being around people who were drunk I definitely think it does trigger me.
2 people in the group was being very pushy and treated me like an alien 😂 lots of fake smiling on my part but I’m taking it as a win.
Brand new month with strong goals set and hopefully mindset to follow. Hope everyone has enjoyed there weekend so far, @SylviaB i hear you on the sleep front mine is terrible I’m also committed to a sober September and also have a holiday coming up maybe we can help each other through I’m no expert though but I’m a good listener 😊@FlakyPanda you sound similar to me always taking it too far and lots of black outs which are just horrific. My children saw a lot it’s my biggest regret they’re grown up now but I wished I could have woken up and realised earlier. Lots of support here 😊

EastCoastDamsel · 01/09/2024 08:22

Morning

Welcome @FlakyPanda and @SylviaB .

Well done @Chance21 . I totally understand what you mean about being around drunk people. Even when I was drinking I didn't like it when I was the designated driver and others were getting drunk round me. Found the whole experience very boring. In previous times though my reaction would be to want to join them , now I see I was actually just making myself boring too!

Weather grotty here this morning. Can feel Autumn in the air. Feels far too soon.

Have a lovely day all.

Chance21 · 01/09/2024 08:41

I felt extremely bored @EastCoastDamsel it almost felt like this doesn’t align with me and I really just wanted to leave but partner was having a good time but I was secretly clock watching but lesson learned I wasn’t being boring but the situation was face hurts from fake smiling think that might give me wrinkles haha need to stop that!!

ShyMaryEllen · 01/09/2024 10:20

@Chance21 and @FlakyPanda I hear you about the regrets around grown-up children. I would do anything to turn back the clock, or wipe things from their memories. People say we should look forward, and that's true a lot of the time - nothing is achieved by agonising over unbidden memories in the small hours of a sleepless night - but knowing that our children also have bad memories, and that we were the cause is the greatest punishment of all. If anyone's is lucky enough to be at the stage of life where they can give their children a sober mother growing up, it will be the best thing you can do. For them and for you.

Chance21 · 01/09/2024 14:40

@ShyMaryEllen i feel exactly the same and even at times it kept me drinking because I told myself the damage had already been done so what’s the point now!! Totally wrong attitude I may add. I second that anyone who has a young family please think about the consequences I know I will have to answer to it one day!! And I think I know when that will come and that will be when they have there own children because they will then see how many fuck ups I made and it literally breaks my heart it takes becoming a parent to realise this I know as my relationship with my own mother is very strained she didn’t drink but she made some awful choices that affected my childhood which probably explains why I binged on alcohol it’s like a vicious cycle it’s a tough one very raw and the emotions are tough to deal with.

Itsrainingten · 01/09/2024 15:24

Honestly people I really think you're being too hard on yourselves. I'm sorry you have so much regret when it comes to your history of alcohol use and your kids but you can make it up to them now. My mum was an alcoholic. It killed her at age 48 but there was a period of time, when I was about 22 / 23 when she gave up alcohol. Totally. I was so SO proud of her. Honestly it made all the difference. Of course I remembered everything that came before but at least while she was abstaining I KNEW she cared and was trying her absolute best to make it up to everyone. Sadly she couldn't keep at it but you can. Do it for your kids now. Show them how much you care about them and how you wish things had been different but you can't change the past. You can only change the future. Sending love. You all sound like fabulous parents NOW.

Chance21 · 01/09/2024 15:52

Thank you @Itsrainingten I understand what your saying and yes 💯 will spend how ever many years I’m lucky to have being a better parent without a doubt.
I feel my 21/17 yr old will forgive me but guilt just lingers over me I’m so sorry you lost your mum at 48 did she pass from alcoholism? I’m glad you had those moments and memories of your mum when she stopped, that would have been tough and she definitely cared I promise you that. I wonder what my daughter really does think at times and wonder if she is not speaking out about it as to not upset me. I’ve always said I will be open and whole heartedly validate everything they both had to say there is no excuses or get out of jail easy card!! But who knows when or if these conversations will arise. Thank you for your message and I’m sorry for what you had to go through 😊

NextPhaseOfLife · 01/09/2024 15:58

Hi all,

I'm going to add to what @Itsrainingten said. Parents screw up for all manner of reasons, many without a drop of alcohol in sight.

It's a rare kid who hasn't had a run in. an embarrassing situation or a blip or two with their parents.

I'm not undermining the truly abusive and unrecoverable situations, but I'm doubtful that many of us on here have been the cause of that.

There is still life to live and family to love. And it's way better for everyone without alcohol.

Itsrainingten · 01/09/2024 17:18

Exactly that @NextPhaseOfLife. You put it perfectly. Thank you

ShyMaryEllen · 01/09/2024 17:45

I have tried really hard to be a good mum in the seven years since I stopped drinking. My daughter has been having therapy for something totally unrelated to me and my drinking, but it's brought a lot of things to the surface, and she's avoided me for a few weeks now. I understand that she has to process things, and she has every right to feel what she feels, but it hurts so much, as I love her dearly. We were (or I thought we were) close, and I really hope we can get that back, but I feel so helpless.

WendyWagon · 01/09/2024 18:11

Evening all.
Just back from a trip to see DH 's family. We had to leave early due to road works. No time for social media posts.

I had a terrible sleep last night. The DH has had a bad back for years. It popped up again last night. I thought he was having a seizure. Once on baby alert always on baby alert. I'm such a light sleeper.
I bought a couple of bright linen shirts (royal blue and emerald) to cheer myself up. Lots have been ruined lately by my in house Widow Twanky.

No challenges to report but I have been dreaming of champagne. It's never left me.

I second the issue with teenagers in one's days of drinking. They remember so much but, hey, you can't go back in time but you can say 'I'm sorry. It was a difficult time'. Most drink to cover trauma and that can be decades old.
I own my addiction but it took me a year and a half to do that. Six months of therapy really helped.
My children are textbook to the chapter in sober Dave on adult children of alcoholics. Shameful but I work with that every day. God bless me (I hope!).

Feet up and I have green grapes and cheese.

Chance21 · 01/09/2024 18:20

So sorry to hear that @ShyMaryEllen all I can say is time is a great healer I really hope things get better it must be heartbreaking for you. Seven years is fantastic well done to you look how you’ve turned things around that’s amazing. Your daughter knows how much you care and love her I’m pretty sure once she has processed things she will be in touch or respond to you in some way I really hope it’s sooner than you think. 😊

WendyWagon · 01/09/2024 18:38

@ShyMaryEllen 💐

Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime · 01/09/2024 19:59

1 September 👍

WendyWagon · 02/09/2024 06:56

Morning all.
Up with nurse duties as DH not so well.

It's raining here but muggy.

EastCoastDamsel · 02/09/2024 08:21

Morning, last day of the hols today. Kids back to school this evening. (The board part time) It's going to be very quiet very quickly.

WendyWagon · 02/09/2024 08:53

@EastCoastDamsel i love back to school. New kit and pencils.
My BFF and I use to have our first breakfast of the season and a snaffle in TK Max for end of sale bargains. We'd use them for the DC stockings. My DD use to board. Loved the boarding, hated the school. They grow up so quickly.

REP22 · 02/09/2024 15:06

Hello All. Busy day out at cricket yesterday. It was very hot, but Sid enjoyed it. Definitely that seasonal nip in the air. Sainsburys have got a Christmas shelf on show, curse them.

I am so thrilled for @EastCoastDamsel's son and his awards victory. That's fantastic news. I hope he enjoyed the ceremony.

Welcome to @SylviaB and @FlakyPanda - I am glad you've found your way to us. I hope what you read here will be helpful; there are lots of us here, in various stages of the AF journey. It's so heartening to read the posts from friends who are years into their journeys and embracing their new lives. It's a hard-won victory, but worth it all, in so many ways. Lots of helpful advice is here - feel free to ask any questions that you might have. For me, I know that I cannot moderate - I have tried, but just can't. So not having any in the house, for any reason, is key. And distractions when the cravings are strong. If you need to, tell yourselves that would will have a drink tomorrow. Just not tonight. And then repeat until it sticks. One day at a time - a cliché, but it works. The books I have recommended in my OP were an absolute godsend for me. And, of course, the friends here on this thread.

@Chance21 fantastic on the festival, I'm glad you had a good time. Sober people are not always popular people around drinkers - often I think it's because they feel bad about their own drinking but don't want to admit it or deal with it. We make them uncomfortable. And then the "oh, just have one", "just a little one", "I'll get you one, you don't have to drink it all" dance begins. If you were trying to kick a cocaine habit, people generally aren't going "oh, just one sniff", "just a little line", etc., but it's just the same really. Catherine Gray talks of an occasion where she was harshly berated for utterly "ruining" a party by not drinking the plentiful wine on offer. It was a 3 year-old's birthday party.
It's definitely a win though - you stayed strong in the fact of temptation, that's fantastic. 🏋

@ShyMaryEllen I'm sorry your daughter is having a tough time at the moment. I hope she can get things right for herself. You're doing all you can and I'm sure she knows how very much you love her.

We can none of us undo the past, unfortunately. I wish mine was different. Not much happiness in my junior years, but alcohol was never a factor. Like @NextPhaseOfLife says, teetotallers - even missionaries and their ilk - screw up too. All we can do is hope to make things better. The only control we have is how we react to it and move forward. Continuing love, understanding and a demonstrable desire to be different going forward counts for a great deal.

We are all here because we care, we regret what has happened and/or been said/done in the past. If we weren't those people, we wouldn't be frequenting a thread to help us stay off the booze and make our futures better. There IS hope for better things for us, if we can stick to it.

Sometimes that involves forgiving ourselves too, and that can be very hard indeed. I am my own harshest critic and am rarely kind to myself. I don't want to invoke the Disney song but sometimes (and it does play in my mind) I have to try and let it go, or the weight of it around my neck will drag me down and drown me. I do try and be kind - or, at least, somewhat merciful - to myself. Not to deny or minimalise whatever the past has been, but to atone for it as best I can and more forwards with love and acceptance. Far easier typed than done though.

Muggy here too @WendyWagon . Sorry your DH is poorly, I hope he's on the mend soon. Bad backs are awful. Even just lying down doesn't help much. I'm glad your DD loved her ring. How are the negotiations with the business bods going? Wishing you all power there. I love royal blue and emerald. They are two of my favourite colours and always gladden the eye. I'm sure you are the furthest person imaginable from Widow Twanky - I think of you as someone who is always stylish and well-turned out. Having said that, I've played a fair few pantomime dame types on stage (due to lack of available/willing males) and always loved the costumes. I've still got one of the hats. 😉

Sid and I had a cricket-heavy weekend, so he is off sleeping the sleep of the righteous. He was beginning to doze off yesterday. Here he is at the end of the match, contemplating life and resisting the might lure of the welcoming arms of Somnus.

Sometimes he sits and thinks. Sometimes he just sits...

Strength and love. Keep going. It will be alright soon. x

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024
OP posts:
ShyMaryEllen · 02/09/2024 15:18

Thanks, chums. I don't know what to do, really. She doesn't live nearby, so we only see one another by arrangement, and she's not making contact. My texts are answered, but with closed responses, so it's impossible for me to move things on at all. I don't know what's going through her mind, or what's been said, and I feel bereft. After all this time, too.

I found out what had happened by accident.

Anyway, I don't want to brig things down. Say hello to Sid for me? I'm sure his thoughts are very profound - he has a wise look about him.

EastCoastDamsel · 02/09/2024 15:27

Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs @ShyMaryEllen

REP22 · 02/09/2024 15:44

@ShyMaryEllen bless your heart. It must be very challenging for you. Desperately upsetting. Are you able to send her a handwritten letter through the snail mail? Just reaffirming your love and support for her? Sometimes they can make headway in a manner that's not always possible in a text or SM message.

I tend to shut myself off sometimes in moments of great stress. Perhaps she's trying, in her own way, not to worry or burden you.

I wish I could make things better for you, but sending you love and solidarity from me and Sid. ❤xx

OP posts:
WendyWagon · 02/09/2024 18:30

@ShyMaryEllen not sure if the following is useful :

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024