Hello All. Busy day out at cricket yesterday. It was very hot, but Sid enjoyed it. Definitely that seasonal nip in the air. Sainsburys have got a Christmas shelf on show, curse them.
I am so thrilled for @EastCoastDamsel's son and his awards victory. That's fantastic news. I hope he enjoyed the ceremony.
Welcome to @SylviaB and @FlakyPanda - I am glad you've found your way to us. I hope what you read here will be helpful; there are lots of us here, in various stages of the AF journey. It's so heartening to read the posts from friends who are years into their journeys and embracing their new lives. It's a hard-won victory, but worth it all, in so many ways. Lots of helpful advice is here - feel free to ask any questions that you might have. For me, I know that I cannot moderate - I have tried, but just can't. So not having any in the house, for any reason, is key. And distractions when the cravings are strong. If you need to, tell yourselves that would will have a drink tomorrow. Just not tonight. And then repeat until it sticks. One day at a time - a cliché, but it works. The books I have recommended in my OP were an absolute godsend for me. And, of course, the friends here on this thread.
@Chance21 fantastic on the festival, I'm glad you had a good time. Sober people are not always popular people around drinkers - often I think it's because they feel bad about their own drinking but don't want to admit it or deal with it. We make them uncomfortable. And then the "oh, just have one", "just a little one", "I'll get you one, you don't have to drink it all" dance begins. If you were trying to kick a cocaine habit, people generally aren't going "oh, just one sniff", "just a little line", etc., but it's just the same really. Catherine Gray talks of an occasion where she was harshly berated for utterly "ruining" a party by not drinking the plentiful wine on offer. It was a 3 year-old's birthday party.
It's definitely a win though - you stayed strong in the fact of temptation, that's fantastic. 🏋
@ShyMaryEllen I'm sorry your daughter is having a tough time at the moment. I hope she can get things right for herself. You're doing all you can and I'm sure she knows how very much you love her.
We can none of us undo the past, unfortunately. I wish mine was different. Not much happiness in my junior years, but alcohol was never a factor. Like @NextPhaseOfLife says, teetotallers - even missionaries and their ilk - screw up too. All we can do is hope to make things better. The only control we have is how we react to it and move forward. Continuing love, understanding and a demonstrable desire to be different going forward counts for a great deal.
We are all here because we care, we regret what has happened and/or been said/done in the past. If we weren't those people, we wouldn't be frequenting a thread to help us stay off the booze and make our futures better. There IS hope for better things for us, if we can stick to it.
Sometimes that involves forgiving ourselves too, and that can be very hard indeed. I am my own harshest critic and am rarely kind to myself. I don't want to invoke the Disney song but sometimes (and it does play in my mind) I have to try and let it go, or the weight of it around my neck will drag me down and drown me. I do try and be kind - or, at least, somewhat merciful - to myself. Not to deny or minimalise whatever the past has been, but to atone for it as best I can and more forwards with love and acceptance. Far easier typed than done though.
Muggy here too @WendyWagon . Sorry your DH is poorly, I hope he's on the mend soon. Bad backs are awful. Even just lying down doesn't help much. I'm glad your DD loved her ring. How are the negotiations with the business bods going? Wishing you all power there. I love royal blue and emerald. They are two of my favourite colours and always gladden the eye. I'm sure you are the furthest person imaginable from Widow Twanky - I think of you as someone who is always stylish and well-turned out. Having said that, I've played a fair few pantomime dame types on stage (due to lack of available/willing males) and always loved the costumes. I've still got one of the hats. 😉
Sid and I had a cricket-heavy weekend, so he is off sleeping the sleep of the righteous. He was beginning to doze off yesterday. Here he is at the end of the match, contemplating life and resisting the might lure of the welcoming arms of Somnus.
Sometimes he sits and thinks. Sometimes he just sits...
Strength and love. Keep going. It will be alright soon. x