The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

So many inspiring stories here.. I am on day 28. 4 weeks was my original plan but I am determined to carry it on now. For most of the day, I am glad. It is just this sort of time in the evening that I really miss it but am determined to continue.

I meant to add to @ShyMaryEllen - my plans for Friday nights tend to involve having a concrete plan for something nice to do on Saturday morning, that I have to get out of bed and actively do. Even if it's only a bit of weeding or tidying. Sid-involvement is key. I couldn't do it properly without his supervision and advice, you see... 😉 Thank you for the tips though, they are excellent suggestions. ❤

Hello @Beachfront and @SeasideRock (username kindred there, hehe!)

Welcome back - excellent to see you here, and congratulations on your soberversaries thus far, brilliant. 😀

Please don't beat yourself up about what's past. We've all been there. You've picked yourself up and are striding forwards with your head held high again. It's so good to have you back and Day 11 is fab. 🎉🎉

Sounds like a hectic summer @SeasideRock , but a good one. Sorry you were needled into trying some wine, which I'm sure must have made you feel a bit awkward, but brilliant that it wasn't too triggering or distressing for you. The clearer headspace is brilliant. I'm finding myself able to address other areas of my life that would have gone unchallenged before too. Small things for me, mostly insignificant, but that add up to make my life a little bit better each time. I've bought myself a jazzy new toilet seat and everything. Usually things I can do on a Saturday, to keep me true to the flag on Friday nights.

That's good news about the liver tests, but sorry to hear about the pre-diabetic thing. I think the pre-diabetic issue is a lot more widespread these days (or maybe just more easily diagnosed). My M was diagnosed with that too during Covid and had to attend weekly Zoom sessions with others (MANY others) from the local area. She tried the Fast 800 diet, bought all the books and really embraced it, and I have to say that it did work. She's out of the pre-diabetic zone and has remained so for some time now. She loaned the books to a friend who also stuck with it and saw improvements too. Obviously not everything works for everyone, but certainly worth a go. Michael Moseley was deeply and sincerely mourned in M's house, god rest him. Good luck with it - I hope it brings the results you deserve and happier times ahead.

Strength and love my friends. We can do it. xx

That's fantastic @Phoebewillow , what an amazing achievement. That took guts and determination and can't have been easy. 💖 Keep going, and I hope you (and everyone) has a very lovely weekend.

Off with Sid now. He thinks he will be revisiting the ex-deer that's been lying in the woods for the past few days. He thinks I don't know about it.

That for the encouragement @REP22 ! Really appreciate it. I’ve heard anecdotally that it can work well so here’s hoping. I’ll report in.

Also like the idea of making sure there is something planned for a Saturday morning. I shudder to think how many of them I’ve wasted because I was just too hungover to do anything but nope. Last of the holiday washing and a garden tidy up for me I think.

Have a lovely Friday night all.

@REP22 thank you! Sid is so lovely !

The evenings are always the worst, but you have achieved what you wanted to, so you can achieve your next goal too.

Think of Fleetwood Mac (if you're old enough to remember them 😎) singing 🎼🎶 Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. . .

Wow @REP22 what a helpful and inspiring message, thank you so much for taking the time to write that. I have investigated the al-anon and will do a zoom meeting when I can get the DC to bed in time to catch one! Also joined and am reading the thread that was suggested here. Won't lie, it's a hard read and I think I need both threads to balance me. ❤️

@frankiefirstyear another possible way to add to @REP22's wise suggestions would be to deal with the condition, rather than the drinking. So, along the lines of 'How are we going to get this better? You need this medication, so you can set the alarm on your phone to remind you, a healthy diet, so we can replace pizza with salad, exercise, so we can go for a walk every evening (or whatever is appropriate) and alcohol is bad for the condition, so we can replace beer with kombucha. Obviously amend that to suit the circumstances.

By framing it as a medicinal thing - doctor's orders if you like - it might seem less meddlesome. I'm not suggesting you are being meddlesome, but drinkers can be very sensitive to people seeming to tell them what to do. Ask me how I know🥳

Yes, @ShyMaryEllen thank you for your wise advice! I'm definitely 'Mrs Solutions' so working on things in that way helps with actual healing and satisfaction of knowing the plan of where we're attempting to head; I hope to improve my own acceptance of those solutions that are ignored, and hopefully al-anon can support me there.
I love a good mantra...
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,* the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference.*

Morning everyone I’ve not posted for awhile but still been catching up with everyone’s post new and old congratulations to those who have hit there milestones and to you all for fighting the good fight.
I’ve been posting on another group as I did unfortunately have a slip up last Saturday I didn’t want to post as I don’t want to trigger anyone!! Any how I wasn’t equipped enough to deal with going to a festival and I under estimated how hard it would be.
I won’t delve too much into it but I didn’t black out so didn’t go overboard I remember everything for a change!! But I felt really low most of the week even with the small amount I had.
Back on board as you ladies really are a great source of support and encouragement you’re all amazing.
got another festival today but I’m driving there is no way I’m getting caught out again this is my last social event in the calendar which I’m extremely happy about I think in the early days it’s best to avoid in my opinion.
Any way only made a fool of myself once this month and that’s the last time!! Have a lovely Saturday all 😊👍🏻

I got logged out. Had to reset everything.
found new thread and caught up
happy Saturday all

Morning all.
Up early as I had forgotten to take my meds. The dog was barred. He's currently laying on the back of the sofa like a cat.

DDs 21st birthday today. She's invited some friends to the house for order in Pizza. I bought lots of balloons and banners yesterday.
She had a tricky time in the teenage years. However she's a lovely person inside and out. I have actually never heard her make a bitchy comment.
She's turning into a ardent feminist which is a OK with me. Proud mum.
I bought some marks AF bubbles as she doesn't drink.
I remember my parents buying me a Frank Usher top from a posh boutique in town for my 21st. I think I've still got it.
My sister grumbled because she thought C&A would do for me. I think I went out with the hairdresser boyfriend but my memory is fuzzy there.

I did an interview for back up yesterday. I'd asked the overseas company for an improved contract. They can afford it. These companies without a UK office or British directors mean you could find yourself waiting to be paid. I'm not having that again. I couldn't sue the last lot of scumbags. But I have to say I do look so much better without the booze face.

Good luck to all today. I love the autumn. I can't wait to wear tweed and boots.

Morning all!

Busy last weekend of the summer holds today. Quick run, then dropping dogs at kennels, DS and DH at trains station and taking DD to the Trafford Centre.

She is a real "shopper" whereas I blood hate shopping.

DH is accompanying DS to London to attend an awards ceremony on the South Bank (DS has been nominated for an award for a piece of work he produced during his summer residential), all very exciting.

Have a great weekend all.

Welcome back @Chance21 and @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime .

I went out for a meal last night and they had Lyre’s Classico 0.5% sparkling wine on the menu. Very nice. They sell it in cans too, apparently, which is good- two glasses of AF fizz is enough for me so I never get through a bottle

@ShyMaryEllen thank you! Really good advice. I have woken up thinking this is phase 2 for me. And I will see how far I can go.
Have a busy day today so thinking will make it easier

@Onewildandpreciouslife that fizz sounds nice.

Thanks for the welcome @REP22 ☺

Day 12 today

@Chance21, I also was finding recently that even small amounts of booze, but drinking it fairly regularly was making me really anxious for days afterwards. I know it isn't worth it.

Happy Saturday to everyone. Hope you all have nice, hangover free, days

Good morning all. We have survived the night. I had mad dreams last night; something I've noticed since giving up the drink. But Sid was there and chipper this morning for the last cricket match of the season. And I will take the clear sober mornings over dream-free nights any and every day.

That's a good song to keep in mind @ShyMaryEllen. Although when I think of Fleetwood Mac I tend to think of that disastrous Brit Awards hosted by Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood. I videoed it off the telly (there's a blast from the past) as I was out, and had to rewatch it in stages, I just cringed for them. Still got it somewhere, I think.

Welcome back @Chance21 great to have you back with us. Enjoy your festival! Hearty waves also to @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime, sorry your log-in went on the fritz, that's very tiresome. It's nice to see you. 😊

Happy birthday to your DD @WendyWagon, she sounds like a great human being and a real credit to you. I hope you have a great day with the party. I don't think I ever even made it to C&A-level. The Ladybird range at Woolworths was more me. 😉Good luck with the negotiations with the new company, you deserve every success that comes your way. I bet you look fabulous in tweeds. I'm an Autumn baby myself and love this time of year. There's definitely that nip in the air now.

@EastCoastDamsel that's fantastic about the awards ceremony, I hope he has a great time. I love the South Bank, especially at night, with the lights on the river. Sid and I will keep our fingers and dewclaws crossed that his is the name that's called out. But even to be nominated is such an honour. Just brilliant. Hope the shopping isn't too tiresome. x

Welcome to phase 2 @Phoebewillow it's nice to be up where the air is clear. And congratulations on making it to day 11 @Beachfront , that's a fantastic achievement.

For everyone who is struggling to get past the first few days, or feeling the lure of the Wine Witch/Vodka Voldemort whispering temptingly into your ear, here is a post on Clare Pooley's blog, which I have found very very helpful. It was originally shared by poster @BunniesBunniesBunnies . I hope it helps you too.
https://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-obstacle-course.html

I am feeling a bit bad (I am a mediocre captain, at best. Sorry) that I haven't tagged our regulars from previous threads. Tagging here: @Crunchymum; @happyasagrig; @womanshour; @blackberryblossom; @whichdayisit; @fortheloveofgodwhy; @bigfatsoberlife; @grannyofdragons. Please feel free to add if I have missed anyone - and apologies; it wasn't intentional.

Right. Off to cricket now. Sid enjoys cricket. Sid would never steal a wicket bail from the stumps and crunch it up in full view of everyone. Sid respects the game.

So nice to still see some familiar names here😊 I don’t do social media much anymore but @REP22 ’s tag notification led me here - Hope you are well Rep! And everyone else! I’m into my 5th sober year now, it’s kind of unbelievable and also sort of no big deal at the same time? It’s totally second nature now and I love my life sober. I’ll never go back to booze! I’ll be forever grateful for the people on this wonderful supportive thread for helping me get sober❤️

Thanks for the shout @REP22

Lovely to see you (and Sid!) hosting a thread.

I lurk more than post these days. I've just checked and today is day 930 for me. Looking forward to reaching the big 1-0-0-0 days.

Funnily enough I recall Bunnies as being one of the posters hitting huge sober milestones when I first joined these threads in April 2022 (I was 40+ days when I joined the thread). Happy to hear all is well with you!!

These threads have been a huge help and source of support to me. Especially in the earlier days - first Christmas, first holiday etc. I'll be looking at a 3rd sober Christmas this year and I can't wait.

I offered to get my son and DIL Oasis tickets for Christmas. They have been refreshing the page since 9.00am, and DIL finally got through - dynamic pricing meant that the tickets were £375 each. FFS!! They refused to (let me) pay that on principle - phew!

It is a bit chilly this morning. I'm in the Lakes, and it's bright, a bit breezy and not too warm. I plan to sort out wardrobes this afternoon and get rid of things that have made their way over here because I don't want them at home. Obviously that means I won't wear them here, either, so I'll get rid.

930 days is amazing work! I am a creature of little brain, and started to notch up months ASAP, then when the time came counting years made it even easier to remember 😂. 930 days is 2.547845 years, or 31 30-day months. It's brilliant though, whichever way you cut it.

The bathroom chap has been on the phone. Something about a washer and the pressure of the water in the bath. The plumber has sealed something and apparently all will now be well. I'm guessing that we'll need to sort out the holes in the kitchen ceiling though.

I really miss the sobering-up dreams. Mine didn't last long - weeks rather than months - but they were great! It felt like I had a free cinema ticket for a mystery film every night. I rarely dream now, sadly.

Tell Sid we are not cross with him, just Very Disappointed 😉.

Forgot to say - fingers crossed for the award, @EastCoastDamsel ! It sounds very exciting. And take no prisoners, @WendyWagon.

Well I couldn't sleep much last night as I read a spooky on mumsnet. 👻
I once lived in an infamous house close by and not only was I scared witless I think I went a bit mad!
Reading the tale reminded me of those days. I came over all religious.
I've been doing some gardening and planning on ordering the pizza soon. DD loved her ring.
AF fizz is winking at me.

Thanks for the mention @REP22 and the reminder to check my nomo @Crunchymum 936 days here. Like Bunnies said up there, it is just a way of life now. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Honestly feels like I have found the secret 🤫 🤣 but if I had a £1 for every person who says ‘I don’t really drink that much..’

He won!!! 😁

Oh many congratulations to your DS @EastCoastDamsel ! So exciting!

Good to see you @BunniesBunniesBunnies and @Crunchymum