The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

@WendyWagon ❤️❤️❤️

@WendyWagon glad you’re feeling better today. That’s great news.
@CarrotSeeds so pleased that your dad is okay and at home on the mend. What a worrying time for you.
I went to the wreath making evening yesterday. When I first got there I wondered how I was going to feel staying AF. There were cocktails being made (Christmassy ones) lots of Prosecco and also lots of food (which i enjoyed) one of the ladies that comes to the event every year arrived with a Nozecco which was like a breath of fresh air, I wasn’t the only one. We chatted about why we’re trying to abstain and it was for all the same reasons and it’s amazing how a few of the girls joined in the conversation and also felt the same about their drinking.
it was a lovely evening and again woke up hangover free.
hope you all have a lovely Sunday. 💕

@TiA303091 That's so pretty! I love Christmas lights, wreaths and decorations. I think I'll hold on until the first weekend in December to put ours up. We are expecting a new grandchild in December too which is the best present we could wish for!

@CarrotSeeds 🤗🥰

Thanks, @ponzusoup. It's not for another week, but I'm not looking forward to it.

Congratulations on the grandbaby, @CarrotSeeds. How lovely for you. I would love grandchildren, but my children are showing no signs of wanting to provide them😀.

I feel like I’ve literally let myself down and everyone down but last night I caved. I drank with friends and at the time it felt good. It doesn’t feel so good this morning. I’ve no idea why I did it? I wouldn’t have minded if I’d have moderated but classic me didn’t moderate and today I’ve woke up feeling like crap. The reason why I gave up in the first place. I’ve got work today I’ve got the school run today and I’ve got to do it all feeling awful. X

@TiA303091

You will get through it, you have before and you will again. Then an early night and re-start. You have to have these falls and lapses to remember sometimes on this sober journey. You wil survive and this time in 12 hours you can get into bed and sleep it off. Sending love 💜

@Becky37 thanks Becky. You’re right I have done this too many times before and I’ve been okay, but the shame and guilt doesn’t help on top of feeling like complete crap. I really need to take note of this as a learning curve! In the past two weeks I’ve not felt like this! But today has really proven to me that me and alcohol are not friends. I actually feel ill 😷 this is why I gave up in the first place.
yep 12 hours time I’ll be in bed, and I can’t wait! I hope you’re all good 💕

@TiA303091 im sorry you caved.

My user name on this thread says it all. I last fell off the wagon in May.
The point is to get back up and try again.

A few weeks in we forget we're not like normal drinkers. It's got a hold on us. We have been fine, so a couple won't hurt? But to an alcohol dependant brain the party is back on. It doesn't take much to 'top up ' the tolerance levels.
One tip I would give you is never drink a second day if you fall of the wagon. If you flush out the fall (and you'll feel like hell for today) you won't be tempted so easily. If you have a hair of the dog it could lead to a period of drinking again.

Take care of yourself today.

@WendyWagon thank you. To be fair I’ve never been “the hair of the dog” kind of drinker. More drink like it’s going out of fashion then feel so ill 😷 the next day and can’t look at the stuff.
shit start to the week I have to say! Feel physically and mentally rank today xx

@WendyWagon may I ask what made you fall off the wagon in may? X

Ah Tia. The birthday of my BFF. She was having a really difficult time. She was losing her house. She was my main support when I stopped drinking. She was being hugely naughty that day. I had just come out of hospital and my op hadn't worked. It was a 'feck it' day. I haven't been back to the establishment (and they had over charged me big time). Too embarassing. My DH came and fished me out. It took two to hold me up!

@WendyWagon we all have the feck it days! But that was may and we are now in November! So that’s amazing. i hope I don’t have too many feck it days xx

Morning all

Sorry to hear about your slip @TiA303091 . But well done for being brave and coming on here to tell us all and hold yourself accountable.

Great advice from @WendyWagon .

I have had a busy weekend and twice (once on Saturday and once on Sunday) felt like I really must wanted to escape. To allow myself to switch off and not care. It reminded me of why I drank like I did.

Luckily we now don't really have any booze that I like drinking in the house anymore. (There are a couple of pricey bottles of red in the wine rack but I never really drank red wine much). And I managed by having a bath and a Shakti and reminding myself that the momentary relief is not worth the long term consequences.

Also booked a trip away with DS to watch a sporting event in Wales next weekend. A bit last minute but I realised that I never DO anything. I work, exercise, look after the house and dogs and see DHs family and that is about it.

When I was drinking, it didn't really matter as drinking was what I did. Now, I need other things too.

Was a bit peeved with DH also as he just arranged stuff to do himself and is away during the week quite a lot for work.

Anyway 🤞🏻 the trains run on Saturday and Sunday as I am looking forward to a mum and son trip!

@TiA303091 Bless you. Today is a fresh start. We all know it's not easy quitting drinking. Take care of yourself today, lots of water, bananas are good and a little wholemeal bread if you can manage food. 🌷 xx

@EastCoastDamsel You are right about drinking becoming an activity in itself. That was one of the reasons I gave up (not sure if I can confidently call myself a non-drinker yet as it's only been 6 weeks 😬). There was so much more I could be doing with my life yet I chose drinking to the exclusion of other things. Such a waste.

We have a houseful of booze and always will have. We entertain a fair bit and must have every spirit (with multiple brands of each) under the sun in the house plus a cellar full of wine. The only reason I'm not touching it is that somehow my mindset has changed and I genuinely don't want to drink at the moment. I'm praying this continues but like @TiA303091 has bravely admitted this morning, I know how fragile it all is.

Thanks everyone for your support. I’m now feeling a little more confident to go to work and face people. Your support Keene so much xx

*means

@TiA303091
Hope your snoozing and were not too hard on yourself today. Sharpen that sword and back out to fight another day tomorrow 💪💜

@Becky37 thanks Becky. Unfortunately not snoozing and finding it hard to sleep! I managed work and cooked dinner. Had a little snooze on the sofa this evening now in bed and my mind won’t switch off.
how are you getting on? Xx

I am desperate to stop but dont know how

Hi @GreyhoundLurcher and welcome. I’m sorry you’re feeling so awful but glad you’ve reached out. We have all felt like you, but change IS possible.

For some people, stopping drinking suddenly is dangerous - if you think that might be you, please speak to your GP. Here is the link to the Get Help Now page from Alcohol Change, with some useful contact details if you need to speak to someone in real life.

Get help now

Morning all.
Welcome @GreyhoundLurcher .start with not drinking today. One foot in front of the other.
I didn't think I could get beyond a week or my pre record of eight weeks.
Drink plenty of water and get a few sweet things in to help with cravings.
Alcohol is sugar, you'll need to replace it.
Ask any questions, we are a friendly bunch.

Morning @GreyhoundLurcher ❤️

I think everyone on this thread has felt hopeless regarding alcohol, yet here we all are, as @WendyWagon says, putting one foot in front of the other and telling ourselves 'we won't drink today'.

I found the first week the hardest and made sure I had something on hand to replace the wine. The physical act of drinking something helped me through the first week as that routine of pouring myself a drink was deeply ingrained. My drink of choice was sparkling water and I went through at least a couple of litres a night. I still drink lots of it now. And yes to something sweet as you will probably crave sugar at first. After six weeks I've now switched from Haribo to bananas 😊

I was a daily drinker, rarely visibly drunk, and had not had a day without at least a couple of glasses of wine (usually closer to a bottle) for over three years. You CAN do this. I found quit lit very valuable in the first month and especially recommend Annie Grace 'This Naked Mind'. It's very factual, science based and appealed to me. She also has something free online called The Thirty Day Alcohol Experiment which offers step by step support and information and encourages lots of self-reflection, but there are loads of resources out there if her style doesn't work for you.

Keep posting here, it's such a kind, supportive and non-judgemental thread. Good luck today. I will be not drinking with you ❤️

Good morning all. I am back from London and trying to shoehorn my way back into Sid's good books. I'm sorry you had a wobble @TiA303091 - it has happened to very, very many of us. You have picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and are keeping going. That's what really counts. Be kind to yourself. I'm glad you are still here with us.💐

Welcome @GreyhoundLurcher - I am glad you have found us. It's a very brave thing, to think you may have a problem with drinking and to take steps to try and do something about it. I can heartily recommend a look at the books mentioned in the original post above, they really helped me. Please feel free to post and ask any questions you want to - nothing will sound foolish or too difficult - we have all been where you are now. It seems like the most impossible thing in the world to have to face but, honestly, you can do it. I'll not pretend that it is easy, or pleasant to start with, but you can do it. Keep posting, if you want to. ❤️

Sidney was extremely angry that I left him for two days and a night with my M. I will not repeat the rich salad of exotic profanity that he unleashed on me when I returned, but suffice it to say that he made his views abundantly plain. I think he has forgiven me now. I enjoyed myself and did not fall. I was staggered by the price of drinks though - at the bar in Regents Street, the price of a single drink (which was mostly ice and froth) was £14.20. Blimey. That's a spur to remain sober, despite all the numerous other plusses. £14.20!!

Here is Sid, trying (but not entirely succeeding) to look very cross with me indeed. Bit like a Paddington Hard Stare but without the marmaladey-whiskers.

Strength and love to you all. It's going to be alright. xx