The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

It’s lovely to hear where everyone’s from, I’m Scotland.
Im finding the comments on here really helpful in staying positive, plus I’m reading a book ‘sober on a drunk planet’. An easy read and really relatable.
the weekend is always hardest for me to not have a drink but I’m really looking forward to wakening up on Sunday hangover free!
have a healthy, happy weekend everyone x

@Itsrainingten i love AF gin, hate the real stuff.
Seedlip is my favourite, Gordon's after that.
It doesn't trigger me. I'm not a coke drinker.

I tried lots of AF drinks in my last attempt and the only one I got on with was the Gordon’s 0% mixer cans. However with Christmas pending I’ve researched a few AF baileys recipes (I love baileys) so will try those.
I went to the cheese and wine (non wine for me) night at my best friends yesterday. By the end of the evening one of my best friends had drank one glass of rose and the other a glass and a half of rose. I had fizzy water which I love. I actually couldn’t believe that they had only consumed that amount. If I’d have been drinking I’d have easily have drank a whole bottle of Prosecco in the time they had drank that and that really put things into perspective for me. That is where I differ from my friends, that is why it’s always me who is drunk on nights out, that’s why it’s always me and with a hangover. I would never have noticed this if I was drinking in my head they’d have drank the same amount as me. I found my first social thing easy but it was only a small event and it was for about 3.5 hours. I know I’ve bigger challenges to face but I’m proud that I did it.
glad to be waking up today hangover free. Very different to last Saturday morning.
hope youre all okay and looking forward to a peaceful weekend xx

Ahoy my sober sisters.
Up and breakfasted, the dog too.
First night of no Friday night booze noise for me since taking the new meds. If this works I hope it gets a clinical study.

I was pretty poorly yesterday.
One of my contracts has disappeared off the face of the earth. Another debt that I won't be able to chase. I'm going to stick with UK /USA businesses going forward.
In the old days I would have been drunk as a lord last night due to the bitter disappointment and anger. I had a lemon curd yoghurt instead and swore a bit.
Luckily I didn't pay for any flights or entertainment.
I shall pick up my Fern Britten book and clear my mind.
Have a sober safe day my friends.x

@Becky37 how are you feeling today? Are you any better? Xx

That’s a huge win @TiA303091 ! And I agree with the revelation about how other people drink.

That anxious feeling when you’re out as the level in your glass drops, but no one else’s is dropping so fast, and you can’t work out when it would be justified to fill your glass again, so it’s just so much easier to drink at home. Horrible feeling- so grateful I’ve left those days behind.

Ive taken a few weeks off running post my marathon to try to get over the niggles that had plagued my training, but am restarting this morning. I think I will be a nicer, calmer person afterwards!

Ooh I’ve just been on instagram and alcoholexplained is doing a daily series of posts / blog posts on the 8 challenges of stopping drinking. Might be worth a follow- link to his blog post below

@WendyWagon so glad to hear the meds have stopped the alcohol noise as well.
hope you have a lovely Saturday xx

morning ladies and super well done @TiA303091 amazing progress feel proud. i still find fridays hard at around 7 when i finish work but the saturday morning clear headed wake up is the gift that keeps on giving. i used to feel awful on a saturday and sunday morning just watching the clock all day until it was reasonable to be seen to have a drink. was grumpy with the fam, couldn't focus, anxious, angry etc. not to mention the physical effects. life still has mega challenges as i'm the typical mid life squeezed 54 year old - teens one with SEN, 2 lots of very elderly parents living miles away , full time job, mortgage etc. but boy is all that easier sober!

@Onewildandpreciouslife have been dancing around william porter without getting properly stuck in so will check out his blog. thank you.

welcome too to @Pip2000b @SylviaB @Anna73moose how's it going? so pleased you found us, it's the kindest thread on mumsnet ( i rarely go on any others but when i do they scare me a bit, apart from the SEN when people seem kind too). - if you want to keep you're sober journey going and see how much better it gets we are here to lift you up.

@TiA303091
Oh well done you! That is an amazing achievement and you also exposed yourself to some hard realities of your drinking as well as the environment. I honestly couldn't put myself in any environment with alcohol being served currently. Its not that I would drink, its more I would be in hell watching and seeing the drinking and would feel mental the whole time so woundnt be able to even enjoy being there with friends. Such is my obsession with the demon drink and my issues. You have made a huge step in the right direction and you are so strong, really inspiring and it does give me hope that will be me one day. Just not quite yet.

I am okay thank you. I have a AA meeting tonight at 7pm then one at midday tomorrow. Then nursing placment begins monday so it's back to the 'real world' where I have to hermit far less, travel and start to be an actual person again. Nervous but sober 💪🙏

@WendyWagon
Ahoy! That is amazing that the medication has achieved this for you, having that sort of 'in the back pocket' is important to moving forward for you I think. Whats actually in the medication? Interesting stuff!. Sorry you have had a mare with your work and health too, life is not easy and you should be incredibly proud of all your do and have achieved, how you face things and continue to remain focussed on what mattters and what is important. I heard Fern talking about her book on womans hour on radio 4 a few weeks ago, will be on bbc sounds, she was great on it !

Well done Becky well done @TiA303091

The first weeks are the hardest.

@Becky37 baby steps but it will
come! You’re doing amazing. Exciting about your work placement too. You’ll be fab. Just take your time. Glad you’re having the meetings also, they will help immensely. Anxiety is horrible at its best but so much more hard to handle after a night on the pop. You’ve got this xx
thanks everyone for your lovely support. 💕

Just an "oldie" popping on to say today is my 1000th alcohol free day.

Would never in a million years imagine that I would last a sober summer let alone be knocking on 3 years of sobriety (1000 days is about 33 months. I'll be doing my 3rd sober Christmas this year)

It wasn't a cure all. I'm still fat and perimenipausal. I'm still a single parent to 3 little ones and I'm still grieving the loss of my mum which tipped me over the abyss. I'm still not the best version of myself but I cannot begin to imagine where I'd be now if I hadn't stopped.

I didn't drink everyday, I didn't drink in the daytime, I did dry January every year. But I had a massive drink problem. When I did drink it was never less than a bottle of wine (in the end it was two at the weekend!!). Some weeks I'd drink 2 nights of the week, other weeks it could be 6 out of 7.

I was never able to properly moderate and I was utterly miserable. I was broken. I felt worthless and hopeless.

That version of me still exists but I don't see her anywhere near as often these days. My life is calm and settled and comfortingly boring. The background noise that drinking brought to my life has been turned off. I am a lot more present and positive (although bloody peri is turning me into a bit of a witch 😳)

I will never, ever go back but even 1000 days down the line I don't take sobriety for granted. I put in a lot of hard work to get here and I'm so proud of myself.

Just a quick shout out to those beginning the journey. I never thought being sober would stick. I'd tried and failed many times before this time. But here I am. My advice is just to keep going. Every day counts. Everyday you don't drink is a worthwhile day. And if you "fail" then don't give up. Keep trying!!

@Crunchymum That is amazing and so inspiring. Huge congratulations on your 1000 days. That's just brilliant ❤️

Congratulations @Crunchymum 🥳! Good to hear from you.

Congratulations dear@Crunchymum

@Crunchymum well done and thank you for sharing x

@Crunchymum
Thank you for your inspiring and hopeful share. You have done an exceptional job to stay sober for that long with no lapses, I am in awe. You have been so strong to get too this point, simply amazing 🥰

👋🏻 everyone.

Congratulations on the big 1000 day milestone @Crunchymum .

And the big night out with friends milestone @TiA303091

And going to your AA.meetings @Becky37 and looking forward (nervously) to you placement in Monday.

Amazing news about the jab and the booze urges @WendyWagon .

Thanks for blog share @Onewildandpreciouslife . Think I will give it a follow.

How was your return to running today ?

I have bit the bullet and signed up for a late spring marathon in Europe. It takes place on the day after my birthday, which puts me in a new age category. At my fittest (before my decent into serious wine "appreciation") I ran a couple marathons and would LOVE to "qualify for Boston" so that is what I am.going to aim for.

It is HIGHLY unlikely that I will do so, and even if I make the time, a place in Boston is still very very hard to get as they choose only the fastest runners that have made to QT anyway. But as they say, shoot for the stars. (Might make a marathon PB anyway).

@Crunchymum 1000 days! That is amazing. Congratulations. I’m so inspired by hearing these experiences and just hope that’s me one day. I’ve had a very different Saturday to last week. I’ve been doing my husbands accounting today (I’d never be able to do that with a fuzzy head) then I took one of my girls to town and had a browse. Then this evening me and my little ones well 1 not so little (17, 11 and 8) made slow cooker hot chocolate. It was delicious. Hubby had a beer or two, which didn’t phase me at all. Now laying in bed and about to read for half hour before some hopefully 🤞 good nights sleep.
night night everyone. Here’s to a happy sober hangover free Sunday 💕

Morning all.
Another 9pm lights out for me. I'm one Yorkshire tea down. Not much on today.
Shoe hunting in unpacked boxes.

Have a peaceful day my friends.

Ooh @EastCoastDamsel how exciting about the marathon!! The run yesterday was lovely, and made me realise that for me the most important thing is just to be able to keep running for as many years as I can.

Your evening sounds lovely @TiA303091 - and the feeling of a hangover free Sunday never gets old

A bleary eyed good morning from me today.

One of our fire alarms started going off last night just as we were tucked up in bed. I went downstairs to investigate and could find absolutely no evidence of a fire anywhere so uses a long pole (we have very high ceilings) to reset it.

Unfortunately it continued going off repeatedly and so I then started to worry that there was a smouldering chimney fire (I had lit the wood burner earlier in the day)

But after extensive investigations.DHband In incurred that this was unlikely so he took the thing down and bought it upstairs, placed it between 2 pillows in the back of the wardrobe.

Even this didn't stop it going off repeatedly through the night.

I slept in the spare room but still heard it occasionally.

Anyway there wasn't a house fire, and I am so pleased that I am not hungover as well as sleepmdsproved this morning