The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

@CarrotSeeds im sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he’s on the mend.
hi to everyone also, hope you’ve all had a lovely day 💕

Thanks both of you - that's very kind. Yes, I'm ok. I was at the hospital yesterday for a routine ultrasound (no results yet, but I'm not expecting anything worrying), and have otherwise been busy doing nothing important. I'm still feeling a bit down and don't want to lower the mood on the thread. We'll probably not be going away again until after the winter, so I'll get on with things around the house, and get ready for Christmas. I want to start a big declutter soon, too - I do it every year, but it always needs doing again before I know it. The plan is to clear out wardrobes first, to create space to put things away and have room for Christmas things and for any guests to put their things whilst they're here. I've booked a charity collection for Wednesday next week, so I'll be rushing about on Tuesday looking for things to donate. I'll try to fill at least a couple of bags over the weekend, so I get a head start. The charity is a DV one - I use Anglo Doorstep Collections, and you get to choose where the proceeds of your donations go. If I'm in any doubt about whether to part with something I'll be spurred on by the cause.

Sid is looking as handsome as ever. Please give him a squidge from me, and thanks again for the mention😀

@ShyMaryEllen please don’t feel you can’t come here to vent/chat because you don’t want to lower the mood. We will have all been there or get that feeling in the future. We are here to support one another. Sorry to hear you’re feeling low in mood. The dark nights don’t help do they. Good to hear that you’re keeping yourself busy, Christmas can be a real hectic time 💕

Morning all.
Up early. I'm not sure if it's the meds or just me. I broke the nytol habit about eight weeks ago so I'm pleased about that.
Just shopping today but the freezers are full with Christmas swag. The DH loves yellow labels and a shop. We have three freezers, old habits from the farm.
I have Gordon's af waiting for me but I have gone off fizzy. God knows what I can drink now.

I bought some rehydration sachets (Vidrate) in assorted flavours, and want to drink a litre or two a day. I really don't drink enough, and these things taste nice and have added vitamins and electrolytes etc. I'm in the habit of opening a bottle of AF wine every night, and whilst I like the Bon Voyage stuff, it is still sugary and I need to wean myself off. I'm working towards having a glass a night, rather than a bottle, and keeping myself hydrated with the other things.

Thanks, @TiA303091 - I know I can talk on here, but I am down for a specific reason that I don't want to go into really, so it's difficult. I feel I am amongst friends on this thread, but have to remember that posts can be read by anyone, and if I outed myself it would make matters worse, so I am careful. Getting the balance right can be tricky.

My cleaner is due soon, and I'm going to see if she's willing to help me in the declutter, so I make a start. I can do the hoovering and clean the kitchen tomorrow. She's a million times better than I am at this sort of thing, so I think we'll rattle through a lot more than I would on my own.

hang on in there @ShyMaryEllen sounds like you are more than keeping things ticking over with the declutter and looking after your hydration. i recently got into electrolytes and i do think they help. spent years not really drinking anything except tea or booze so i think i fail to recognise thirst symptoms i'm so used to them!

always here for you @ShyMaryEllen 🧡 sending love and compassion. you are brilliant. you helped me so much and were so kind in my early weeks on this thread you will always have a place in my heart even tho i know i don't really know you! so thank you. and take care

Thanks, @ponzusoup . That's lovely to hear. I'm fine, really. I've alluded to what's going on before, and it's that, really, what with Christmas coming etc.

Anyway, between us the cleaner and I filled numerous bags with old curtains and duvet covers, and I've forced myself to get rid of some old coats that don't fit, even though I love them. It will make a difference when I get round to putting things away properly, which is the plan for Sunday, as I have things on on Saturday. There will be space in the linen cupboard and in wardrobes. Some of the curtains were here when we moved in 25 years ago, and are hideous. I have no idea why I've kept them for so long, but they are ready to go now, which is for the best.

Evening all.
I've ended up having another poorly day.
I need to think very carefully about adding constant nausea and stomach noise to my health. A few others are feeling the same.
A quiet weekend.

Sorry to hear that @WendyWagon is it possible that once you get used to the meds this will stop? I used to take Metformin (not diabetic - I have PCOS and it was used off label) the nausea and diarrhea were bloody awful every time the dose was increased. But it always wore off after about 3 weeks.

Evening all,

Sorry to hear about your sadness and ongoing situation @ShyMaryEllen . Really thinking of you tonight.

I should probably drink more electrolytes. I am running 5days a week now and am a heavy sweater so am probably losing quite a few electrolytes. I am a little bit scared of them though with my blood pressure meds. I have noticed that I have a slight headache occasionally and I wonder if it is that.

@WendyWagon I have heard that the symptoms can improve or sometimes it is worth asked Ng for a decrease in the dose which helps.

Knackered tonight so early to bed. Chocolate making tomorrow for Christmas presents. And then taking the children to see their grandmother in the evening.

Good morning all.
Still feeling a bit poorly but I think it's flu.

The DS is away the weekend so we'll eat lightly and out of a packet!

I'm in two minds about these WL injections. I have definitely felt fuller and I have no alcohol noise going on at all (that is weird) but the side effects have been pretty hard to take and I'm on the starter dose. I might have to dig out my hair shirt instead. I have been stroking my next size down clothes. Some beauties there.

Have a good day all.

Morning all.
Very jealous of your running @EastCoastDamsel - I hurt my back last week so even standing causes me pain. I wonder if my physio realises how restrained I’ve been not asking when I can run again so far 🤣

Had an awful night a couple of days ago - have been sleeping badly because of my back, knackered because of work - then DH came home late from the pub, sat up with his mate talking and keeping me awake, then came to bed at 1 and started to snore loudly.

What was interesting though was that although I knew I had a really tough day ahead, instead of mentally spiralling, the thought I fixed in my head was “this is hard, but I will be fine”.

This is a huge difference for me, even from a year ago.

Hope everyone is doing ok

@Onewildandpreciouslife it is amazing what we can cope with sober.
I've had a really difficult issue in the background for months. I've ploughed on and fought my corner. Not solved yet. However in the past I would have sort solace in a bottle! 😄

@ShyMaryEllen im sorry to hear that there is a specific reason for the way you’re feeling, I didn’t realise. I completely understand what you mean. Sending you love ❤️

i went to the show last night with my friend which was lovely. I had two AF Gins and didn’t even feel anything about her having a couple of wines and there was absolutely no pressure from her to drink.
my parents came and they came back to mine afterwards (for a drink) My husband and my parents all had a few drinks.
I found this hard. Not because I wanted a drink but because I felt tired and I felt that the conversation was a bit boring. (I know that doesn’t sound nice) but when you’re stone cold sober and everyone else is a bit tiddly the conversation doesn’t really make much sense. Anyone else felt like this? I just felt a bit boring xx

Oh completely @TiA303091 ! There is a great quote from William Porter “alcohol doesn’t make boring things interesting- it makes your brain stupid”.
But you have woken fresh and alive this morning, without any brain fog or regrets. That’s not boring

@Onewildandpreciouslife oh most definitely. No wine breath, feeling okay and up and ready to start the day.
That quote is so true! I just felt the conversation meaningless and I can’t believe how much louder people get after a drink. I would’ve never noticed before because that would’ve been me!!!!! xx

Ahoy!

Sorry to hear about your injury @Onewildandpreciouslife . That's pants.

I totally get where you are coming from @TiA303091 and don't think you aren't being nice saying it. I don't mind people drinking around me these days, I just don't find them very interesting to be around after a few.

One thing I have noticed is that DH and I are having far fewer silly arguments these days! Partly because I am not so sensitive now I don't drink but also I think I don't misunderstand things as much as when I've had a few. (I also probably don't pick fights as much)

I am contemplating a tattoo to mark 6months which is coming up in a couple of weeks. Thinking a simple NQTD on my wrist would be a good reminder not to question my decision and think that I can moderate now that not drinking has become the norm AND we are heading into the festive season.

Hope everyone is having a restful weekend

@CarrotSeeds

I am sorry to hear about your dad. Hope he’s okay and your okay too.
Been so busy but still sober and still keeping up with meetings as much as I can. I have AA tomorrow at midday and actually really looking forward to it.
Hello to everyone else and stay strong this weekend 💪

Nearly two weeks for me! But no way I am getting complacent, i will not drink today , that is what I know though

Well done on two weeks @Becky37! The early days are the hardest, so it will get better soon.

I don't think that non-drinkers are boring, although people often worry about that. It is drunks who are boring - repetitive, stroppy, and often a bit self-obsessed. I think that sometimes drinkers are uneasy about non-drinkers, but not because they are boring. It's because they know that their own drinking is thrown into relief when others are sober, and also because if/when they do something indiscreet or obnoxious they have nothing to hold over the sober to stop them from talking about it - it no longer seems normal to behave like that.

I hope you feel better soon, @WendyWagon. This does seem to be dragging on, which is wearing, isn't it?

I have a family funeral coming up, and am dreading it. I liked the deceased a lot, but she wasn't popular in the family, and when they all get together it is very stressful. No question is too personal to be asked in full view of everyone else, so I'm girding my loins already. The accepted wisdom is that because people are 'family' (however tenuous the link) they have a right to know anything and everything about you, and any evasive tactics are assumed to be 'difficult' behaviour.

well done @Becky37
had a shit day with one of the teens having some disappointing news. she's autistic. and very sensitive. for the first time in ages am craving a huge glass of red. have AF clean G gin and tonic but it just tastes like sprite!

@ShyMaryEllen sorry to hear you have a funeral to face.

Morning all.
Sunday, hoorah.

Still on the jabs and feeling better today.
I was a happy bunny to get into some pyjamas I bought a couple of years ago but didn't fit. I had looked like Max Wall in them. Simple wins.

Pension hunting this week. A sober head is needed for that!
I hope everyone is finding peace.

Thank you for the good wishes for my dad. He is home from hospital now, earlier than we thought, still poorly and needing a lot of family support but getting stronger. He ate a full roast dinner last night much to our amazement! We really all thought he would die so this is an amazing result 🥰. Modern medicine and the skill of doctors and nurses is incredible and we are so grateful. @Becky37 We need people like you ❤️

Seeing my dad so ill has made me more determined than ever to be good to my body, to eat healthily, to continue to not drink alcohol, to find and stick to an exercise routine I enjoy. Life is so precious, too precious to waste on booze.

Wonderful news @CarrotSeeds .
Sending all good wishes to you and yours.
When you think about it we do daft things to our bodies and really we do need to take more care.