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Alcohol support

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The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

992 replies

REP22 · 28/08/2024 11:42

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

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REP22 · 29/10/2024 12:10

Good morning shipmates. Hope you're all as hale and hearty as can be this morning. I have re-read @ShyMaryEllen's lovely poem out loud to Sid. He is very impressed. His normal output consists of things along the lines of "There was an old man from Venus, Who had an -" thank you Sid, we'll leave it there. I very much like the idea of agreeing a time around Christmas to all be on here if possible at the same time @ShyMaryEllen, that'd be nice. A bit like the old chatrooms in the earliest days of the world-wide-web (remember them?!)

Very many congratulations to @ponzusoup on your anniversary. Six months is brilliant and an amazing victory.🎉 So, SO proud of you, if that doesn't come across as too patronising.

@CarrotSeeds - that's an extra layer of courage, having access to a stash but not being tempted to drink. I couldn't do that. I can't have any in the house or I will go through it. Even after all this time. Congratulations on your three weeks, that's absolutely fantastic. 🏋️‍♀️

@Onewildandpreciouslife I struggle with AF versions of drinks, not sure why, but I find them quite triggering. I prefer to stick with sparkling water or OJ+Lemonade. Although there are a lot more tempting AF options around these days. I've got a London event coming up at which I fear there will be a strong Margarita presence. Although there was sufficient carnage at my last one with these friends to act as a deterrent. I wasn't drinking much back then but others most certainly were. Several had items stolen from them in bars whilst too p~ssed to notice and one chap phoned me at 3am to shout at me that he didn't know where he was, didn't know what street his hotel was on, and he couldn't find his phone (the one he was ringing me on). The call disconnected to the sound of him puking on the unfortunate Rozzer who asked him if he needed help. Hmmm... perhaps not so tempting after all.

Great news on the weight jab front @NextPhaseOfLife - I'm really glad it's going well thus far. That's interesting about the quietening of the booze noise. I wonder if some of these new jabs may also in time be nominated for use principally in addiction treatment?

Hope you're enjoying a fantastic time in Sicily @EastCoastDamsel and that your DD's sickness has eased. ❤️

So wonderful to hear from you @Faffodils, it gives such strength and inspiration to hear from those who have stuck to the fight and made it. Lord knows it isn't easy, but I am so pleased for you. 🎉

@WendyWagon I'm sorry about your mother's anniversary. That must have pierced your soul all over again. It's not easy with these complicated parental relationships, particularly at a time when things are not currently so great at home right now. It says a lot about you as a mum and a person that you made your poorly DS a nice breakfast, even after he has caused you and your DD such distress of late. I really hope things improve there. Enjoy the gardening! I saw a nice shrub in the garden centre on Sunday with pretty purple berries (perhaps a callicarpa?) and was quite tempted - but given that I can kill a plastic cactus at 50 paces I decided to spare its life and stuck to buying the bird food I'd gone there for.
My M has the effect of guiding me to the rebellious "f~ck-it button" as well. There has rarely been kindness there and, often, it takes only a look, word or gesture and I'm back as a frightened, hurt and confused 7 year old, cowering in a corner. Yesterday evening she confessed that she is not always making it to the loo "in time". I've known that this has been the case for several months now, but gentle enquiries have been met with lies or angry denial thus far. And so it begins.

Strength and love my friends. Every SINGLE sober morning is a magnificent victory, and a battle worth the winning. Here's Sid, extending the arm of love, comfort and solidarity to you and reminding you - it's going to be alright, you know. It will, honest. xx

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024
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Faffodils · 29/10/2024 18:23

Thanks for all your kind messages, it is lovely to see so much support and encouragement on the thread. And if there is anyone reading who is currently drinking and feeling terrible please know that it can get better ❤️

ShyMaryEllen · 29/10/2024 19:43

I have just been to see The Outrun. It was hard to watch at times, but is a very good film. I recommend it, but won't post spoilers, other than to say it's about addiction, and is set mainly in Orkney - if anyone is planning to see it we can maybe discuss it then?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11687002/

The Outrun (2024) ⭐ 7.3 | Drama

1h 58m | 15

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11687002

Onewildandpreciouslife · 29/10/2024 20:30

I saw it a couple of weeks ago @ShyMaryEllen, and loved it - I’d read the book a while ago.

EastCoastDamsel · 30/10/2024 06:33

Morning all, feeling emotional in a grateful way this morning.
Thank you ladies for being here, a constant, kind and supportive place I know I can come to whenever I need to.

(Not forgetting Sid who always brings a smile)

@Onewildandpreciouslife and @ShyMaryEllen I will shortly be in need of a new book so will consider The Outrun. I have heard good things of the book but some conflicting reviews of the film.

Off for a little run along the promenade and then a day out with family in Syracuse.

Just realised that this is my second sober holiday (I can be a little slow sometimes 🤣) and that I am really enjoying it.

WendyWagon · 30/10/2024 07:12

Good morning all.
Very quiet here. I did my paperwork yesterday so I have a day off.

My AA friend who was suffering with pancreatic cancer has sadly passed away. It has really made me think. I knew the lady through a close friend of mine and had only really seen her in sober times. She was under retirement age.
It's given me huge health anxiety along with my rude consultant.

I don't think I'd be drinking if you plied me with champagne and paid me!

EastCoastDamsel · 30/10/2024 08:31

Very sorry to hear about your friend @WendyWagon

WendyWagon · 30/10/2024 08:39

@EastCoastDamsel i think it's a bit of a shock. All these people I know who are dying are my age or five years older.

I staggered around the village with the dog yesterday as I am really concerned re my overall health. I'm still too heavy but I am waiting on the jabs. I don't have 'food noise' but I still think about booze frequently. I know others don't. However if you read some of the pre mj threads the amount people were drinking would have put me in hospital. Doesn't mean I can moderate!

REP22 · 30/10/2024 11:29

Good morning all.

@WendyWagon I am so, so sorry about your friend, that's very sad. I'm also sorry that her passing has made you so anxious about yourself. You have made such amazing strides in turning your life around and are planning more to continue to improve. You are doing everything you can. Your consultant can s~d off - he doesn't know who you are as a person. You are strong, like Boudicca in her chariot. In your mind, shake your metaphorical spear in his smug face if he starts getting snippy with you again. You're doing your best. It will be alright. 💐❤️

That film looks good @ShyMaryEllen - I like Saoirse Ronan, she's good in everything. I can see why looking for corn crakes on a remote island away from anywhere would be appealing. The last film I saw at the cinema was Firebrand, about Katherine Parr. Very good, though the ending was odd.

Have a wonderful time in Syracuse @EastCoastDamsel it looks incredible there. Fantastic that it's your second sober holiday. We notice all the 'firsts' but the seconds and thirds (and beyond) sneak up on us, yet are equal triumphs and causes for rejoicing. Have a fabulous time.

Strength and love. xx

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WendyWagon · 31/10/2024 08:35

Good morning,
I'm feeling a bit better today.

I need a bit of shopping. Guests from today.
I hope everyone is OK.

REP22 · 31/10/2024 11:22

Good morning @WendyWagon and shipmates.

Glad you're having a better day today.

Love and strength to you all. xx

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Maffit · 31/10/2024 12:07

Greetings, Sober Witches and Wise Women! Wishing everyone a Hallowe'en in possession of our full powers, not weakened or brought down by any evil potions!

🧙‍♀️

Srsly, I know that I will be challenged tonight - as an introvert I love to hand out sweeties to the tiny Trick or Treaters, but am still made a leeetle anxious by it, and DH will be on the beers... I will think 'just one night, I can start again tomorrow - new month, clean start, and maybe I can just drink on high days and holidays to calm my nerves...'.

But honestly, alcohol has started making me ill on just one or two glasses lately - a clear sign my body's had enough of it - and would definitely lead to a disturbed sleep and 3am Horrors... And moderation has NEVER worked for me in four decades, why would it start now? 🤷‍♀️

So I must use my spells and rituals against it: a good, brisk walk today, making sure I have nice soft drinks and snacks and don't get hungry, and consciously taking moments to just breathe and Be...

Happy Hallowe'en, whether you're welcoming guests or hiding behind the sofa tonight!

REP22 · 31/10/2024 13:13

Happy Halloween @Maffit!

I'm sorry tonight will be a bit challenging for you - I will be keeping everything that's legal crossed for you that it will not be too bad. You can make it.

I like giving sweets and treats to the local children when they come calling, but have had to hold back in recent years because it gets so expensive. And I feel terrible for the ones who knock when I've run out. Alas, Sid and I will be hiding at M's house this evening.

Have fun to all who are celebrating. For all who are not, and who loathe the Halloween times, Sid offers the following...:

Sensitive content
The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024
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WendyWagon · 31/10/2024 13:23

@REP22 i laughed out loud. I must get one, where is the communication aid from?
I once had a door mat that said muck off!

I've just been accused of being a workshy pleb on another thread. Another good laughing moment.

REP22 · 31/10/2024 13:30

@WendyWagon hehe, thanks.

"Workshy pleb"?! You?!?! Absolutely, positively, irrevocably NOT. If you can get an address, Sid will be more than happy to have a fang-based "word". He won't have a bad word said against you. 💐

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Maffit · 31/10/2024 14:36

'A fang-based word', lol! 😂

Fangs for the ideas for the pumpkin and the doormat - such excellence!

ShyMaryEllen · 31/10/2024 19:19

You are all making me laugh! 'Have a fang-based word' 😂 (Sid is so articulate in his support). The thought of Wendy as a workshy pleb is utterly ridiculous. The pumpkin ghoul-repellent is also perfectly judged. Keep up the good work, shipmates.

I am happy to answer the door to tiny witches and ghosts, but it's very dark here now, so I may have to eat the chocolate myself🥲.

I am an odd mix of show-off and hermit - is it an introverted extravert or an extraverted introvert? Either way, I am so inclined, and it makes life complicated sometimes.

EastCoastDamsel · 31/10/2024 20:24

Evening all. I never grew up with Halloween so I find the whole concept of dishing out sweets.to random kids quite strange. At home I always have some in incase anyone comes round but we live on a quite a busy road with poor lighting and inadequate pavement so it is extremely rare to have any visitors.

Italy doesn't seem to really go in for it either, though there was a busy trade at the florists outside the cemetery today.

Anyway, back from dinner out now tucked up in bed with a nice cup of mint and lime tea. Last night here so having to face the travel home tomorrow. Not really looking forward to it tbh.

Sharing the sunshine with some pretty picture from one of my runs with you all.

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024
EastCoastDamsel · 31/10/2024 20:25

(well not flowers strictly speaking but the colourful bracts of the bougainvillea)

WendyWagon · 01/11/2024 05:50

Morning all.
Ahoy from an up early Wendy.

@ShyMaryEllen weirdly I'm the same as you, show off and hermit. I'm only downstairs in the cold now to get some peace. I can't do busy shops (Marks on a Saturday) but I worked in them for years.
I love classical music so I can stomach that (as long as its not me butchering a cello) but library silence is more me. Of course in my boozing days I'd be singing 'cry me a river'.

The DS is home with his girlfriend and I think house decisions are being made. He's found something so let's hope he buys it!

My wegovy jab is sitting in the fridge and I will plunge in later after a bit of shopping!
@NextPhaseOfLife how's the MJ going?

NextPhaseOfLife · 01/11/2024 09:04

Morning people,

Happy Friday!

I'm still enjoying my AF beers. Absolutely no urges for alcohol any more which is great.

I have actually moved from veggie to eating chicken though - and am open to eating all meat now, if I fancy it.

I'd lost the zest for being veggie for while, but not drinking AND limiting my food choices just started to feel very dull. Even eating chicken has opened up a new area of excitement for me!

@WendyWagon Hey Wendy. It's going brilliantly. 2 weeks today. Have lost 10lb, but more importantly 1: it's mainly around my middle and waist, which has been the most stubborn for me in the past, and 2: I have such mental clarity and feeling of well being. It almost feels like an anti-depressant.

No side effects other than a bit of tiredness, and I'm taking a tonne of Physillium (sp?) husk to keep the world in motion ;-) as constipation is a real risk with the limited food you can eat.

When are you using your injection?

WendyWagon · 01/11/2024 09:17

@NextPhaseOfLife oh wow on your weight loss. That's fantastic. Well done you. Has the jab turned off booze cravings (apparently it does)?
I'm having my jab after I've been shopping today. I don't want D or V whist I'm out.
Friday has always been my danger day.

NextPhaseOfLife · 01/11/2024 11:06

That's exciting @WendyWagon

Booze cravings had gone anyway but I expect it would have. Do you still have them sometimes? The lack of interest in food makes me think this would also transfer to alcohol.

This jab made me realise I could NEVER have sustainably lost weight in the long term. I am an intelligent high achiever in every other walk of life, but just could never solve the weight issue. I'm mid 50s - was put on appetite suppressants for obesity when I was just 10 (the good old late 70s) and have spent a lifetime too fat or too thin, always trying.

2 weeks on this makes me realise the receptors in my body and brain just don't work the right way without adjustment. It feels like it could be life-changing.

It feels to me that could be the same for alcohol dependence, too.

I hope it goes smoothly for you. I've been taking my Mounjaro on a Friday night before bed. No D&V or nausea.

There are some medication threads on the weight loss boards but they're a bit generic. Let me know how you get on.

WendyWagon · 01/11/2024 11:13

I was put on diet at 15 (size 12). I had acupuncture too. Mad 1970s indeed.
I do still dream of champagne and I would bathe in it.
The thing is I'd let my family down. Not worth the tongue lashing or watching my son cry as he did last time I fell off the wagon.
I say I don't have food noise but let's see. I do spend my days cooking even when I'm working.

ponzusoup · 01/11/2024 12:41

afternoon lovely ladies! great to hear progress and plans for MJ or wegovny. @WendyWagon hope it goes well @NextPhaseOfLife wow ten pounds in 2 weeks and no booze cravings is the dream!!!! i have slight fomo! been trying to shift a stone and a half for yonks from around my middle. at our age it's so hard! can i ask if food types are restricted in these drugs? and how long do you take them for before you stop?

excited for everyone taking this journey. science is so wonderful !

friday nights have weirdly started to feel boring without booze again so im battling. but feeling strong.

love and compassion to all