The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Morning...
We went out last night for a meal (supposed to be going to the theatre but at the last minute didn't feel like it and came home). Obviously didn't drink, so drove and had a good sleep. Up early for work and didn't check my phone until I was logging on - had a missed call from my Mum's care home to say she'd had a fall. So I'm sat with her now in A&E, very grateful for a good nights sleep and a clear head! Despite the drama the perks of being AF keep on coming 😊

Morning all.

I got up early to go for Covid and flu jabs. I have breathing issues, so get them early in the cycle. My day is rather 'bitty' - I have a grocery order this afternoon, a Zoom class later and a pile of work to get through, as well as the usual Sunday things like ringing my mum and tidying/sorting. We've been away, so there is a lot of stuff to put away, and the decorator was here the week before we left, so there is more build up of displaced items than usual. I am rubbish at tidying and sorting, but needs must.

Back home after a very long day...Mum has fractured her hip. Not a good combination with dementia. Am SO glad I'm not drinking and have had nearly 4 weeks alcohol free. Don't feel the need to open a bottle tonight, just want to crawl into bed! Lovely knowing that if I'm needed I'll be in a fit state to drive, whatever the time.

So sorry to hear about your DM @AuntyPants .

So sorry @AuntyPants
bloody I pad keeps logging me out

Morning all. Went on retreat at the weekend, which included 24 hours without my phone. Always an interesting experience! Got overwhelmed by a huge wave of sadness and anger at one point- I must still be running away from emotions (no place to hide without your phone!)

Sorry to hear about your mum @AuntyPants but I’m glad you didn’t feel the need to drink

Morning all. Ahoy.

I was up in the night as the DS had left the light on. We thought he hadn't come home. A mother's worry. One ear open and all that.

Some great comments from the new boss re my proposals. Hopefully we can step ahead with the projects.

I ve still got farmhouse fever. I can see myself there. Lots of space again. And parking.

@AuntyPants sorry to hear that.

I am on day 6 af, but my eating is out of control, I know in the grand scheme of things this is not important but at the same time, I don't want to add another problem. Any tips? Thanks.

@Bigmonsterlittlemonster it's still really early days and I would highly recommend you just go with the flow for now and concentrate on just not drinking.

I did listen to this last weekend which I found interesting regarding eating and nutrition

hey all checking in. finally feeling like have turned a corner health wise. really glad i've not been drinking! have realised afresh how much calmer i am in response to what the world throws at me. the idea of having a drink is still there in my mind but so much less appealing. almost feels like something i would do in a dream! weird.

well done @AuntyPants for coping with your mums issues and for acknowledging it is in fact easier with no booze. so often we fool ourselves into thinking the booze helps us cope with stress. it doesn't. it just makes everything worse.

keep going @Bigmonsterlittlemonster the wins are exponential. if you're worried about over eating try and get done good fats in to make you feel satiated instead of carbs? nice cheese on little sourdough crackers? full fat greek yoghurt with honey? home made hummus ( really easy wizz up chickpeas olive oil lemon juice add a bit of curry powder and peanut butter ☺️) - helps to avoid overdoing the carbs and sugar.

retreat sounds interesting @Onewildandpreciouslife

nice to see you trying to log on @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime hope you're ok?

{mention:WendyWagon}@EastCoastDamsel @ShyMaryEllen saluting you all

and @Gotthis24 4 weeks sober is awesome!!

I had my flu and Covid jabs yesterday and have been feeling awful all day. I had a really restless night, and woke up thinking that I had posted (unspecified) things online that would put me at risk of jail. There is absolutely zero chance that I would actually do this, but it was The Fear, presumably caused by delirium. I remembered how often I'd woken up after drinking with similar panic and confusion. We really don't need that nonsense in our lives, sisters.

@ShyMaryEllen you poor thing that sounds hideous. sending love and hope you feel better soon.

That sounds awful @ShyMaryEllen . Your mentioned it thought reminded me of how frequently I would wake up at 3am in panic that I had done something awful the night before and then spending the rest of the night going over every moment wracking my brains on what had occurred.

I haven't been sleeping very well I. The last couple of weeks but have renewed gratitude that I don't have to ever experience that again.

Thanks, both of you. That's what we have to hang onto, though. Times like last night are unusual and can be explained, but I often woke up in a mild panic, grabbing my phone to see what I'd posted or done when I'd been drinking. The constant guilt about vaguely 'remembered' misdeeds was horrible. I'm so glad to be rid of it now.

Morning my sober sisters.

Very busy day yesterday. Lots of companies to analyse. My boss said no to buying one of my favourites. Shucks.

The DS had a frank conversation re his plans. I was getting quite anxious.
I spoke to my BFF over a lunchtime sandwich and she said I have probably got what is being termed as health anxiety. I am nervous travelling incase I fall after the illness. It's weird because as a hardened drinker I thought I was invincible. Big girl, big boozer, big mouth.

Sorry to hear about the weird dreams @ShyMaryEllen

Sorry, wrong thread. Have asked for it to be removed. Hope this doesn't upset anyone

Hi everyone,

Day 14 for me today and feeling ok despite a bit of stress at the moment: DH has either been working or away DIY ing for the family for about 10 days and then became ill, so I feel on my knees with everything! Work, house, kids, my studies have all suffered.
Unsorted feelings about this kind of behaviour (not the first time) are resurfacing and I am seeing clearly how I used to drink until I could ignore this. I am journalling a bit to try and work through these feelings but finding it hard.
I hear you about the eating @Bigmonsterlittlemonster it's hard to find a middle ground.
Sorry to hear about your DM @AuntyPants , I hope she is ok and very inspiring to hear you are coping so well!
Happy Tuesday everyone, may the week go well!

Morning all. Amazing work on Day 14 @RunningtheHill .

Things are pretty hectic here at the moment. Big week of socialising with meals out with friends and theatre etc.

Morning all.
Well done on your 14 days @RunningtheHill . Not being able to escape can show up some uncomfortable truths- I still struggle with this.

Had a really tough 24 hours because our dog (who I rarely mention on here but is one of the joys of my life) has been very poorly, so lots of vet trips and stress. DH was away last night and I came the closest to drinking in a very long time. “You’ve not come this far to only come this far” got me through! Dog is not great this morning, but has eaten and drunk something and taken his tablets (eventually) so hopefully we are ok.

Morning all.
Sending love to you and the doggy @Onewildandpreciouslife

Well done your 14 days @RunningtheHill

Are you OK @REP22 ? I suspect you are knacked post holiday with your mum.

I had to chuck my dog out last night and have a full stretch in the scratcher. I was taken a bit poorly.

Hi everyone, hello @WendyWagon - thank you for asking about me, you're so kind. Sincere apologies for my neglect. I'm not in a great place at the moment what with work and the holiday, etc. I am so sorry. Doing alright really, but seem to be exhausted and low for much of my time. It will be alright. I am so sorry you're feeling rough Wendy, hope you will be feeling better very soon.

I'm really sorry about your DM @AuntyPants, that must be an incredible trial. Sending you strength and love for all that lies ahead.

So sorry also about your DDog @Onewildandpreciouslife how upsetting, but much kudos to you for not caving, despite extreme provocation.

Apologies again for my absence. Sid posed like a good 'un for you during our holiday, but I haven't got around to sorting them yet. I went to a birthday cream tea type party on Monday, for a local charity I've worked with. On the table I was on, every single other person apart from one was in an alcohol recovery programme of one kind or another. One of them was literally homeless because he chose booze above everything else. It was so, so sad. He left the party early because the Catholic church up the road was putting on a hot meal for the local disadvantaged folk that he didn't want to miss before he went back to the tent in the woods he was sharing with a friend. He'd recently lost his third successive job earning over £45k PA and was back in the cycle of supported temporary accommodation - homelessness - getting back on his feet - homelessness - and round again. He just couldn't countenance going without a drink. He was an engineer, very professional looking, but unable to free himself from the vice of addiction. Desperately, desperately sad.

Sending you love my fabulous friends; you're all amazing. xx

Here's Sid, wondering if I'm really going to make him walk on to the tor in the background (yep)...

@REP22 sorry rep you're having a hard time of it. I was thinking of you. X

Booze is such a demanding f**ker.
I always think about my late friend who died in December 2022. He tried so hard to cut down the booze but it was such a big part of him. I would have said he was a happy drunk, his widow would say different.
I did a big piece of research for shelter when I was a charity director and safe, stable accommodation is very much my soapbox. I don't judge when I see homeless people. Lots of people are just a few pay packets away from keeping a roof over their head in this climate.
If I was super rich I'd build not for profit housing. It is the foundation of society (I love a bit of Maslow).

@WendyWagon ❤❤thank you xx. I am sorry about your friend. I agree, absolutely no judgement from me either. It galls me to see the massive empty properties in our local big city. Empty corporate buildings, utterly useless to anybody. They would make valued and much-needed nightshelters. x