Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

@dontlookbackinangerr
@Limeandsoda2023
@Cantdoitalll
@TimesaChangeling
@Steppered
@Cantdoitallperfectly

Please tag anyone I've missed.
I'm multi tasking here. Got some pork and apple sausages under the grill.

Thanks so much for new thread @CoffeeLover90.

tagging @Orchid09 and @NextPhaseOfLife who may also wish to join us on new thread. (No pressure, obv!)

@SadMama87 tagging you for the new thread, I hope you are ok.

Thank you @CoffeeLover90 for the thread. You rock! Here’s to 3 weeks sober in August 🍫☕️

Thank you for thinking of me!!! I am alright, very stressed frankly. It’s the start of school and we can’t figure out how to afford daycare for our toddler, but also can’t afford not to work.

Is the economy shit over there as well? Because here it’s crushingly brutal.

Ah yay for new thread - incredible! Thank you @CoffeeLover90, please know you're helping and making a difference (as with everyone else here).

Tonight I have done some nice self care things like a hot bath, and planning an early night x

Ah amazing @CoffeeLover90! I have just finished work and caught up. I was thinking it’s probably my turn but you’ve saved me the job . Suppose I’d better volunteer for thread 5 now to save my blushes.

Rage eating brownies a go go

I’ve been a bit of an ostrich in the sand with my jobs this week but finally got round to doing some today. Did an hour on the treadmill and then had a pint of water and a yogurt 😇 off to bed now. Thanks again @CoffeeLover90 for the thread.

@SadMama87 sorry to hear that, yes childcare costs are just off the scale here too. I’m so lucky I have none in nursery anymore, so I manage with wraparound during term time. Nursery costs here are like a monthly mortgage payment for one child 😭

@SadMama87 so sorry to hear that. It's shit for us here too. At times it's not worth having two parents in work due to nursery/preschool costs. Try to hold onto the thought that this is not forever and little one will be in school at some point to relieve the pressure.
But right now, this phase is shit.

Hello all! And thanks for the new shiny thread @CoffeeLover90
hello @SadMama87
childcare costs are crippling- I too am over that stage but I remember the sting of the cost and wondering if working so damn hard for little left at the end of the month was worth it. I was a lone parent for years so I really struggled, it does get much easier once they’re at school but appreciate you’re not there yet! I kept working as I wanted time away from the DC, to develop my career and pay into a pension. I’m glad I did now but it’s tough, wine was most definitely my friend during those years.

I can’t believe I’ve done 11 days. It’s a miracle. You’ve all kept me going, when I’ve had a wobble I just hop on here to read and remind myself. I might be a chronic drinker but I’m other things too! I will break the cycle. My headache is away, I’m looking less bloated and my bad mood is lifting a little. DP is still drinking but I’m just avoiding him when he opens a bottle.

Morning all ex retired party girl binge drinker here!! I’m currently on a different thread but I do keep up with different post just find it helps me. My last binge was 3/8/24 where I blacked out and embarrassed myself yet again. Managed to stay AF so far!! Managed my first sober concert this week which took a great amount of will power!! Weekends and social events are the hardest for me more so social events this is where I tend to embarrass myself and end up with crippling anxiety after realising or being told rather what a mess I had been.
thank you all for your post it really helps me stay accountable and to know that I’m not alone in this and that moderation just doesn’t work for me!!
keep going you’re all doing amazing!! Here’s to another weekend binge free!! X

@Chance21 I'm a retired binge drinking party girl too lol. I was from 17 to 25ish only drinking once a month or so but in huge amounts. I stopped that by switching drinks from spirits to wine. I'd still drink spirits on the rare occasions I'd go out but I'd take a set amount of money so I couldn't go overboard.
Then I stopped completely from 28 as I fell pregnant, was in an abusive relationship and having a drink was the last thing on my mind.
Starting from around 2 years ago I began drinking once a week, at the most, just one bottle. But when I felt the stresses of life I reached for the drink every time.

I'd love to be back to how I was 2 years ago, drinking socially and not going overboard. But I've realised from these threads that moderation isn't possible for everyone and I need to be open to staying AF

Wedding is on Saturday. I'm looking forward to it. I will be Sober throughout and it's not taking any effort on my part as it was always the plan. Had little one not been attending with me, I'd feel completely different.
I only mention as I've had a message from the bride asking if I want orange or apple juice. Apparently the other kids have requested apple. But I prefer orange.

I might be a chronic drinker but I’m other things too
@Cantdoitalll I love this statement. Being sober really helps to reframe things. Yesterday I needed some time at home to get some jobs done. I left the kids on the morning to entertain themselves while I ploughed on. If I had been hungover I would be beating myself up about what a shit parent I was leaving the kids during the summer holidays. Instead I can rationally see that one morning at home chilling out doesn’t make it a shit week or me a shit parent. In fact, I think the kids actually enjoyed it and I slept a lot better last night having got those jobs done.

Welcome @Chance21

I am going to a wedding on Saturday too @CoffeeLover90 and still uncertain what my approach to drinking will be. My DD is coming with me but she’s 17 so doesn’t really need looking after. My issue is not binge drinking or having too much at social occasions, it is more that I too quickly descend back into drinking a bottle of wine every day.

It will be a lovely wedding with old friends and I am grateful to be invited but I do quietly wish it wasn’t happening this weekend.

@Limeandsoda2023 I'm so grateful DS will be with me but if he hadn't been I would follow the same steps I take at a home when I feel a craving. I'll finish my meal and see how I feel. I'll drink this juice and see how I feel. I'll catch up with this person and see how I feel. And so on. Before I know it's too late to start drinking and I accept that. I've also come to accept I will get cravings, I may give in, I'll get invited to things where temptations are too strong. And I know that just because I caved one night, there is nothing stopping me from staying dry again.

Welcome @Chance21. I feel like I’ve been every type of drinker over the years. Hopefully now a non-drinker. Day 22 of August dry.

Good luck to everyone with challenges this weekend. I’m still opting out of most social events or driving where I can. Just need to get this month under my belt.

@CoffeeLover90 I can relate to a lot of those things alcohol was like the great escape sometimes but the problems of life were still there the next day but worse.
my mother married a narcissist when I was 13 so I’ve had 3 abusive relationships subsequently as a result of thinking it was normal growing up to be treated badly this is whilst bringing up my now 21/17 yr old children.
I think the drinking got bad when I turned 21 and I lost my dad I would have binged listening to his favourite records and looking at his pictures that was how I got through it.
I’m now 42 and I’ve had twenty years of binge drinking, not going over board every time but I’ve had plenty of black outs than I would like to remember.
About 5 yrs ago I hit rock bottom from a drunken fuelled night out and I managed to do six months sober but it got to Christmas and I thought I could have one or two, and look where I’m back too!!
i could go on but I know now moderation does not work for me so I need to give it up for good.
thank you for replying, I hope the wedding goes ok it’s great your fiend is thinking ahead and asking you.
you can do this!! 👍🏻 I’m going to reading festival Saturday so this will require more will power because I’ve never imagined doing it sober!! 😨

@Limeandsoda2023
thank you, I hope the wedding also goes in your favour!! I know the feeling about secretly wishing these social events were not happening I would love to cancel a few of mine.

@AFmammaG you and me both!!, good for you August is nearly over well done on 22days!! I’m counting weekends as they are the hardest for me so currently 2 binge free now. I get the driving thing I’ve been doing that also but bit nervous driving to reading on Saturday I only passed at Christmas so won’t have that excuse!! But I’m hoping I can get through it!! One hour at a time I think

Morning everyone! Waking up sober is the best. Hope you have a great day. Also massive kudos for those of you keeping sober at events... even cocktail making?! Legends. All of you!

@Chance21 that must've been really difficult..
My ex was very narcissistic and it's a big reason why I developed such an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I can totally relate. Relationships like that have a profound impact.

I'm trying to think of this as not giving up alcohol but rather healing and choosing a better life. I am finding that helpful x

@dontlookbackinangerr thank you, yes it’s tough you understand I’m sorry you had to go through it also. What a great way to look at it I really like that perspective of making better life choices and just being more health conscious with age. Well done to you and keep going 👍🏻🤗

Well, that's the September plan sorted. Walking 100k kilometres for Sands. An average of just over 2 miles per day. Easy and a great cause.
It's nice to plan other things instead of lying around eating and drinking. I'll get some of the steps in on an evening so it leaves little time to be bored and tempted.

Good for you @CoffeeLover90 love that sounds like a win win!! I try to do 10.000 steps a day I love walking really helps clear my mind, haven’t managed to get out today though the weather has turned down south and I just feel really tired today.
was my sons birthday yesterday so a bit of a later night than expected but I didn’t celebrate with a drink so I can deal with it 😊

Aw me too, I like my ear phones in if I'm in a built up area but I love to walk around nature.