Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I know @AFmammaG ive had the same rules for years!! It is fucking draining!! I’d usually congratulate myself if I could remember the evening that was an achievement I used to feel smug about it!!
once I’d had a few drinks those rules went out the window and I’d end up blacking out most times another good one was I didn’t have a proper dinner that got the blame a lot. Or I think I was spiked 🤦🏻‍♀️ I mean it’s ridiculous the really answer was I had way too much drink and I couldn’t handle it, so moderation normally leads me back down the path of self destruction!!
that’s great you’ve managed to stay AF so far this month you should feel proud of yourself it’s not easy. Do you feel a lot better in yourself? Have you noticed lots of benefits from it? I think that’s a good way to be you’ve come this far but your not sure what comes next and that’s ok everyone is different but I’ve been trying to moderate for half my life so I very much doubt I’ll ever succeed. Good for you though few more days you’ve got this!!

I do love the wall analogy @Steppered thing is, even though I'm on the longest streak for years, I now feel like I'm clinging onto a brick ready to throw it in defence. I have no other bricks.
I'm just a conflicted mess.
Where's the time machine?!
Anyway I'm having bacon, hash brown and beans for tea.
I'm very tired today and when I get tired I snack alot.
Think I'll put disney plus on later, watch a marvel film and some cozy PJs because it's freezing today. How rock and roll.

Hey all. Apologies for radio silence! Good to hear from you all and staying positive even with the odd blip here and there. I will admit to not having read every post as I am having a super productive couple of weeks. I suspect I am being spurred on by the fact that, in 1 weeks time, I will be 1 year sober! 100% because of you guys so thank you, thank you, thank you!

And yes to checking the menu beforehand for AF options, yes to avoiding nights out, yes to checking out other peoples drinks and yes to being smug!

You lot are doing great to stay mainly or completely dry over the summer. I purposely started after the summer holidays last year because I knew I wasn't strong enough to try during the holidays. This year has been easy for me and I never thought I would say that.

Keep building and mending those walls!

@BoilingHotand50something Amazing, I'm so glad you are smashing it! Congratulations 🥳

@AFmammaG, I hope you feel better soon.

Came here to placemark. 8 months for me today. I have got a cold and honestly it feels like I have a hangover - it makes me so grateful to be feeling low level unwell almost everyday. Also had to titter to myself earlier when I realised I would have used a cold as an excuse to drink red wine. Cos, you know, it's basically medicine? 🤷‍♀️🙄.

Thanks you all for your honesty and updates, they keep me going.

To NOT be feeling low level unwell, obvs.....

This year has been easy for me and I never thought I would say that
Thank you for giving us hope @BoilingHotand50something! A year down the line and I have found this month “easier” than I thought I would… ignoring the usual tantrum about 2 weeks in 😆

@TeeNoG thank you for the good wishes. I think I have covid. All the symptoms are there. Luckily as it was a BH DH was around to have the DC but really hoping I feel better tomorrow or we will all be having a duvet day!
Congrats on your 8 month anniversary!

Congrats @TeeNoG

oh hope you feel better soon @AFmammaG - take care.

Amazing @BoilingHotand50something that is really incredible. And you too @TeeNoG - you are really inspiring!

I’m sorry to everyone who had tricky weekends. I really like @Steppered’s brick analogy too. My focus for autumn is atomic habits (not that I have read the book, yet) and incrementally building lots of little things in and the bit by bit wall is exactly that.

My camping weekend was not all I had hoped for. I usually love it but it was cold (not unexpected), I ended up having to carry a large part of the pitching and striking load (still not unexpected but disappointing for various reasons) and I had two nights of horrendous indigestion that left me on the brink of thinking I was having a heart attack, it felt that painful.

Tonight however I have had a long bath, everything is back in its place and I am in bed drinking tea, so normal service has resumed.

Morning all, just so you know not a crazy lady up early for work my day starts at 4am.
really happy to read about @BoilingHotand50something and @TeeNoG achievements well done to you both!! Positive post are great gives me hope that one day I can be where you guys are!! @TimesaChangeling i have that book also I’ve read a bit I really need to get it back out think I need to give it another go heard good things about it and now seems like the perfect time!!. Hope everyone has a great day 😊

@TimesaChangeling sorry to hear your weekend was a bit of a washout. It’s disappointing when that happens, especially the constant cold. I hate having to layer up in August.

I’m still unwell. The kids are already on devices and I’m hot and cold. I don’t like taking painkillers. Long story, not had an addiction but have had some bad side effects in the past, so not taking anything to get the fever/shivers under control.

I was thinking today about weight. I put a pound on when I weighed in yesterday. It just seems like I have to eat so little to maintain. I do exercise. Ok I’m not dripping with sweat after a run but I do exceed 10,000 steps most days. I’m starting to wonder whether all the food sacrifices are worth it. Constantly feeling deprived. Is that what it takes to maintain a normal weight in your 40s? Slightly depressing.

I know the feeling @AFmammaG i feel like I’ve been watching what I eat for a lifetime I’ve tried the fasting and no carbs but each time put more weight on over all when I stop they’re short term fixers. And I was sick of depriving myself so now I eat what I want within reason and move a lot more so will get steps in and go gym but if I want to eat a magnum ice cream after dinner each night then I do 😊 life is hard enough

Hope you feel better soon also @AFmammaG

@Chance21 do you mind if I ask whether you have a ‘normal’ bmi? My pregnancies left me 3 stone up (after the babies came out 😂). It’s taken years to get my bmi down to within the normal range but now it is it’s a constant battle to stay there. It’s literally eating very little over a very long time that’s got me there. I want the magnum. I want the brownies. But if I have them, honestly the next weigh in I’m a pound up. Funnily enough I found drinking loads kept my weight down. I initially put that down to chronic dehydration but now I’m a bit further down the sober road I think it was not eating in the evening when drinking and not eating in the morning with the hangover. I guess I only really ate a small lunch and small dinner. Not much else. Now I don’t have wine in my diet restricting my appetite, it’s much harder to maintain my weight.

Don’t get me wrong. I am healthier without the wine. No question. Even with this awful cold going on, I am stronger then I’ve felt in years. It’s just the compromise of adding a bit of flab in exchange for sobriety. That’s what I hadn’t planned on.

All I can say is that it gets even harder, speaking as someone in her fifties. I need to eat a really small amount to lose - I am a good few stone up from where I need to be. When I stopped drinking, I also started fasting and low carbing, and I dropped 1.5 stones but it was so hard to maintain and a somewhat miserable existence. I do need to start again though because it is really starting to impact my joints! Next week, I am back on it.

No problem @AFmammaG yes normal BMI but I don’t weigh myself so I guess could go out of range I monitor it by my jeans!! 😂 oh bless you that must be tough well done for maintaining everyone is different hormones and metabolism 🤦🏻‍♀️ us women really do go through it.
For me I would eat crap when drunk and hungover bad food choices would get the munchie's after a night out and would happily eat all the crisp in the cupboard and have no recollection of it apart from crumbs down my bra 😂
I think we just have to be healthy 80% of the time but I don’t deprive myself anymore some days are harder than others like the week before my period I’m literally starving I could eat all day I have to rain it in on those days!!

Sorry to hear you are still unwell @AFmammaG. Hope you get through the day ok and start to feel better soon.

like, @BoilingHotand50something, I am also in my fifties and agree it gets even harder to lose or maintain weight. I have about 3 stone to lose. I have found it surprising not to lose weight when not drinking - as you say, I think the calories from the wine were mainly being offset by not eating breakfast or later in evening. I am trying to walk much more - both as a way to avoid alcohol but also because I know it makes me feel better physically and mentally.

I have the day off work today but have driven 2.5hrs to drop my DD at a sports event which she competes in. Now have time to kill in a

city I’ve never been too so should get my steps in easily before the long drive home!

Hope everyone has a good day

I’ll enjoy the treats while I can 😂 I feel it will get tough soon!! Let’s pray to be happy and healthy 😊

Sorry you are feeling awful @AFmammaG. Rest and rest, and water. I would say paracetamol for the shivers but do what you need.

I think out of our age group, maybe 3 out of 6 have ballooned a fair bit (me included) and those that did deffo drank more (if not causation then certainly correlation!). I am about 2 ish stone down this year but it was so gradual it took a while to see. A dry month really isn’t long enough to have the impact you think it might do. When I added up the wine and crap I ate, I think it was easily an extra 4000 cals a week so zero surprise I turned into the Michelin man or that it took a long time to start noticeably shifting. I am aiming to drop one more dress size by Christmas if I can.

The other thing to think about is maybe adding some weights into your movement plan, it’s really beneficial to women in their 40s and, as I understand it, has a better and longer lasting effect than cardio on your base metabolic rate?

Finally - if you lost three inches on your waist, weight be damned!!

and have no recollection of it apart from crumbs down my bra
You do make me laugh @Chance21 😆 I think we may have been separated at birth!

You guys are right, of course. A month isn’t long enough and I need to stop obsessing about the number on the scales. I will measure myself again at the weekend but I know my stomach is about the same size. I guess I just feel like I’m saying no a lot to the things I want and not seeing the benefits as fast as I would like.

On another note. I just ordered myself some new bras with the money I haven’t spent on wine this month (not all of it, that would be a lot of bras). Time to chuck the old saggy grey ones out! That’s my little treat just for me for not drinking this month.

@AFmammaG great idea, well deserved. I'm so tired today, again. Yesterday I spent most of the day on the sofa and I've been there all morning too. Hoping it's not the first sign of a cold or something as I've been sleeping OK.
Going to have a nice relaxing bath, hot chocolate and undecided on tea yet. It won't be a takeaway though. I think it's day 10 without those, not really keeping track.

I am all or nothing if I have cake I will want the whole cake!! But I do a lot of exercise I mix up weights and cardio workouts.
A few years back i managed 6 months AF I stayed the same dress size but my body looked a lot more toned I generally looked really healthy so it didn’t bother me. I think it’s best not to obsess about the scales one thing at a time but you will definitely make better choices without the booze and wine has loads of calories so if that was your drink of choice eventually you will see a change!! 😊

So, as I'm not feeling well, I got back to just eat to order some groceries. Milk, bread, apples, potatoes and sandwich stuff (our local shops have no variety really)
They brought the wrong order. I didn't have time to realise since he left it on the doorstep and ran.
To say I'm angry is an understatement.

Oh no!! @CoffeeLover90 i hope you get it sorted who does that surely they would have to make sure you was over 18 if alcohol was purchased well you would think soo.
How ironic it’s booze!! Hope you can get your order re delivered 😒

I should have mentioned I'm not keen on vodka and I'd never drink spirits with DS home. They don't redeliver. I ordered alcohol on the app many times and always have to give date of birth. But as my actual order didn't contain alcohol he hasn't asked, clearly got them mixed up. But it does say on receipt age verification needed!
Anyway, I got a refund and taking the contents to a friend tomorrow.
Angry because if DS wasn't here I'd drink that, honestly. And it was essentials I ordered, which I don't have. Imagine this could have been handed to a teenager or vulnerable person.

Jesus on your doorstep converting potatoes to vodka perhaps? And that truly sucks (as does vodka and crappy tonic as well so there is a good excuse not to touch). Did you manage to get it sorted?