Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I didn't think I'd be worthy of posting here, being so new to these threads, but I wanted to share something meaningful. Today, an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop and resist giving into cravings, and I was one of the people she thanked. I'm truly humbled by that.
I may not be able to post daily—life, child, and pets tend to keep me busy—but I hope that what I've found here can be of help to others: encouragement, reassurance, and, most importantly, no judgment.
It's been almost a year since I started drinking 3 to 7 days a week, with many failed attempts to stop or moderate in that time. Now, I'm on my longest dry spell since my first attempt—Day 21, with @AFmammaG right beside me.
I don't have any specific plans for September, taking it hour by hour, day by day. But I am committed to doing Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.
The hashtag #browniesnotbeer came to mind when I read another post about 'rage eating' a brownie instead of pouring a drink. I've found myself turning to food, too, but I’m trying to balance it with exercise and convincing myself that cutting out chocolate will be easier later on—although I might be lying to myself there...

Hi @jonkibri112, I read your thread in this section and wish you the best of luck with your journey!

I’m in a right old mood. Tried on so many pairs of work trousers today and none fitted properly. They looked baggy or too tight or material looked cheap. So annoying. Then my youngest asked me to help him down from somewhere high and I lifted him and he decided to swing off my neck 😭 I literally felt my lower back go. Now I’m hobbling around like my Nan. Will do some “weight lifting” sat in my chair tonight, despite being desperate to get on the treadmill after 3 days off due to being ill.

@AFmammaG the joys of kids! I'm in a right mood also. Felt great yesterday, loads energy, didn't go anywhere due to rubbish weather.
Today took little one to park and shops, home for dinner and been fighting sleep since. However, am now wide awake. Got no housework or anything substantial done. Been a waste of annual leave this week.
Spent half of it with no energy. Despite sleep slowly improving.
I have ordered some weights. Early 30s but I can understand PP in how difficult it is to loose excess weight. I've struggled since having DS.
No idea what I'm doing with them though. Expect me to post here soon complaining that I have a broken toe.

There’s a woman called Caroline Girvan who does some really low impact, easy to follow videos. You can do a 15 minute one to start. Don’t be put off by how she looks, they are quite straightforward.

Hi all

i had a rubbish day yesterday with an annoying day at work and was very short-tempered with my DD in the evening. Don’t really know why I let things get to me so much but very pleased that I didn’t do my usual and convince myself I needed alcohol to feel better.

A better day today and now on dry day 5 (or 15 if you ignore the wedding blip which I do!).
Still building that wall.

@Steppered well done for your sober holiday, hope all continues to go well

Morning all thanks for the advice @TimesaChangeling i think for me where it is relatively early in my AF journey shall we say it’s just the temptations and the people I’m going with are heavy drinkers and I don’t know how I’m going to feel being around them. I think with time this will get easier and I’ll be excited instead of dread!!
Hi @jonkibri112 well done on 21 days 👍🏻 fantastic you’ve done so well I’ve also turned to food!! But I know I can fix this down the line as long as I’m exercising I’m not going to be to hard on myself.
sorry to read some of you are not having great days!! It’s been a tough week feeling very lethargic myself but getting through glad it’s Friday apart from having to deal with going out tomorrow I’m hoping for a restful weekend. Keep up the good work you’re all doing amazing!! 😊

Friday…. It will not be my hardest day this weekend because I’m out tomorrow. Completely forgot I’ve agreed to go out tomorrow night, was supposed to be a last blow out before we go back to school next week 😩
I’m not drinking. Even though it’s the last day of August. I can’t go back to work with a hangover! Defeats the point of staying dry for the whole of August! How I am going to get through it though I don’t know. My friends will think it’s really weird that I’m not drinking. They may even prefer that I cancel. Who wants sober smug sitting in the corner on a big night out? Can’t even drive as it’s central London.
Need to have a bit of a think about how to play it.

Morning @AFmammaG I feel your pain!! I think I’d cancel but that’s just me I wouldn’t want to drink on the last day, you’ve done amazing what ever you decide to do you should feel proud!! I’m dreading tmw also my friends won’t get it I know they will think I’m being weird for not drinking and also they will get on my nerves when they are drunk!! These will be the last events I go to for awhile I don’t want to put myself in these situations constantly. Good luck 😊

Hi @jonkibri112, rage eating brownier here! 🙋‍♀️

21 days is fantastic, well done!

I have just been for a morning swim and have planned an open water swim for tomorrow morning so full of beans at the moment and hopefully it’ll be enough to keep me from temptation this evening.

So sorry about these big events people are facing. I do wonder what is going wrong when friendship groups don’t give people space to just not drink. I do think they tend to adjust though, if you give them a chance. But the urge to be one of the gang is strong.

Thanks @Chance21 & @TimesaChangeling. I know it’s a cop out but I may blame my bad bad 😆 If I’m walking like a granny, it won’t surprise them I’m not up for a big night out. Plan at the moment is to go for the meal and maybe blame my back pain and leave when they hit the pubs and clubs. It’s lame I know but it really isn’t much fun a few hours in on lemonade when they are 6 drinks down. I want to go though as I know once term starts it will most likely be Christmas before we all catch up again.

That’s a good idea @AFmammaG a little white lie doesn’t hurt!! But in your case not really a lie you have a bad back!! Using it to your advantage. I’ve decided to drive tomorrow so what ever happens I can just leave if it gets too much!! It’s not the temptation it’s more I know I will get peer pressured and I know they shouldn’t but I would have been the same before I got sober curious!! So here’s to tomorrow going to plan!! 🤞😊 I get what you mean after a few lime and sodas and a catch up it all gets boring but I’ll be at a festival so I’ll go looking for things to do go and get some doughnuts probably 🤦🏻‍♀️ and sit happily in the background for once!! I won’t be the entertainment

Not going to be able to post tomorrow, got an early start, a day out, back around 9pm rushing DS to bed. Just want to congratulate @AFmammaG and thank her for the encouragement. I'm officially on day 31 but tomorrow marks a full dry month. The first in years.
1st of September on Sunday and I still haven't decided how that's going to go.

Physically no changes. Could be the crap diet and lack of exercise. Sleep has been all over too.
Mentally, I'm a lot sharper and focused. Not as much anxiety, not as short tempered.
I realise ive also cut down on smoking, this is because i chain smoked when drinking. 1 takeaway in 2 weeks, instead of 6...
productive month, all the decorating done and everything ticked off to do list.

If anyone feels up to it, Sober October is on the horizon, I'll be taking part so you'd have a friend.

Ah thanks @CoffeeLover90 and congratulations to you on your first dry month in years ☺️ I am of course super proud of your efforts! I hope you don’t feel too disheartened about the lack of results. You have done your body a massive favour by this break. You may not feel it but it is true, I honestly believe that.

I feel so conflicted about tomorrow 😭 I also feel like I’ve done so well (all things considered) so it would be a shame to drink tomorrow… but there’s always that voice telling me I want to and once everyone else does it’s hard to argue.

Fingers crossed for a final dry day of August. I will report back tomorrow night whatever happens 🤞

@AFmammaG not disheartened, but surprised. Just goes to show the drink isn't the only thing having a negative impact. How I feel inside though is 100% improved.

Morning all my sleep is terrible at the moment!! That’s one thing I hope improves, it’s going to be a long day!!
congratulations @AFmammaG @CoffeeLover90 on your dry month fantastic!! You should be proud 😊 and to anyone else who was doing dry august! I’m hoping for a dry September and yes will join you @CoffeeLover90 for sober October for sure. I feel from when I had my first 6 months AF stint it takes a lot longer to reap the benefits. But what I did find was my sleep was amazing from about month 2 and my appearance changed I looked younger my brain wasn’t foggy my relationships got better and I could just deal with life better!! I’m striving to get back there I want that life back. Watch out for the emotions as they start coming in!! But you will be better equipped to handle them and a good cry doesn’t hurt anyone. The point I’m trying to make is it’s soo worth the fight, Hope everyone enjoys there Saturday!! It’s a challenging one for me but I’ll take my car all will be fine!! Good luck to everyone who will be challenged today I’m right with you 👍🏻😊

My August stats:
AF = 30 days
Waist down = 3 inches
Weight down = 2lbs (looks like being ill helped me drop a couple of pounds)
Money saved = £120
Bottles of wine not drunk = 15
Vaping = 0

Things that are up
My mood
My sleep
My complexion (red nose looks sooooo much better)
My productivity
My confidence

It’s a no brainier to keep this ship sailing. When I looked in the mirror this morning it hit me how different my face looks. Honestly. Less wrinkled, less red, less haggard. I wish I could show you guys the side by side but too scared of being identified.

Yesterday I got some jobs done I’ve been procrastinating over for a while. It feels good. I feel good. I went to the library and gave back Matthew Perry and ordered the sober diaries as it gets so many good reviews on here. I’m determined to keep going!

That’s amazing @AFmammaG i love that!! Look at all those positives!! Amazing and good for you for carrying on. I can’t wait for my sleep to improve that’s a big one for me waking up at 3.40 am on your weekend off is not the one!!
you've inspired me to see where I can be in 30 days time 😊 just got to the gym going to box my way through life stresses and hopefully be in a good mindset to handle today!! We can do this 👍🏻

@AFmammaG congrats - those stats are awesome and so good to hear your positives. My skin complexion is improving too with redness fading. Also helps that I care more now and am moisturising etc more regularly.

I also notice an improvement in my nails - I’m only at 16 days (ignoring wedding blip) but already they look stronger/healthier.

My sleep is also much better. Sorry to hear @Chance21 thats not yet the case for you - I am sure it will come. I agree that no-one wants to wake at 3.40am on your weekend off! When I was drinking lots, I would crash out immediately I went to bed but often wake at 4.30/5am and not be able to get back to sleep before I had to get up at 6.30am for work. I can’t quite believe how I got through the day.

hope you all have good AF weekends.

Those are really great stats! I haven’t measured or weighed so I can only contribute my 29 days dry (which I am not completely pleased about but you win some you lose some and overall it’s good).

I swam and ran this morning so feeling quite buzzed about that. Supposedly a girls night tonight and the biggest drinker wants a big night. Whilst demanding lifts and trying to organise everyone else’s timings to suit her. I slightly wondered whether to drink tonight but I’ve been annoyed into sobriety which is a weird turn out!

Very glad I wrote my little list earlier because it helped focus my mind today. I’m fucking sober. I spent 7 hours with my friends and didn’t drink. They all did. I had a salad and no pudding. I just kept thinking about me and what I want. The only thing is, no one mentioned it 😆 it’s becoming the elephant in the room. I don’t want to make it a big deal. I just don’t want to drink anymore but because it’s such a huge U Turn and I haven’t addressed it, I wonder if they think I’m pregnant or something 🫣 lol.
Anyway, I didn’t have to lie and hopefully they’ll just get used to this new me without a big explanation. That’s the whole of August in the bag. I’m committed now to not drinking until the 14 September but that day I’ll decide closer the time.
I also want to say, lots of pictures taken tonight and I look…. glowing! That’s not going to help the pregnancy rumours 🤣 honestly, I look really healthy.

Really glad I didn’t drink today.

Well done @AFmammaG - great outcome and you should be super proud!

Amazing @AFmammaG I've not told anyone and managed to get away with it for a month. Possibly me turning down the couple of social things and saying I'm tired/unwell/busy the couple of nights I have been child free.
I'm off to bed now, shattered. Just wanted to post to say I did it. I did it. I can do it again whenever I want. I win.

Oh well done @AFmammaG! That’s such a huge win! I hope you’re asleep, but super smugly asleep.

I drove in the end and so glad I did. I really wanted to drink when I first got there and so would have done if I hadn’t been driving. Now however I am really beautifully physically tired, in bed and knowing I am about to have a glorious sleep. And I am really glad I put a fence in my way.

amazing also @CoffeeLover90, you did that whole month. You definitely do win!

Morning all massive congratulations to @CoffeeLover90 @AFmammaG well done ladies 🥳 that must have took some strong will power @AFmammaG I’m happy to say I didn’t drink yesterday whoop whoop!! But I did take my car!! So that took the pressure off some what like @TimesaChangeling if the car hadn’t of been there could have been a different story I hated every second of it!! Two people in the group just did not get it and become completely obsessed at the fact I wasn’t drinking may I add the two that got the most drunk!! I almost snapped a couple of times they just would not drop it will not be hanging out with those anytime soon. But any how no booze lots of sugar head does hurt I think from the fake smiling 😂 so today is a new month I’ve got my goals!! And no social events!! And won’t be hanging out with assholes note to self!! Looking forward to my first sober holiday next weekend!! So going to try an eat better this week too!! Well done to everyone this weekend!! Happy sober Sunday!! 😊 my partner is very quite this morning think he may have a hangover!! I’m quietly smug!!

Yay @CoffeeLover90 so proud of you and I can hear the determination in your words. You’ve got this!
@TimesaChangeling for me it’s that first drink where the danger is. If I can chose AF I then relax somewhat but that first drink sets the tone for the evening. I just have to force the words out of my mouth!

@Chance21 oh the fake smile. I call it my game face. Imagine being on the dance floor in a crowded club fake smiling sober as everyone around you is dancing shit faced to Madonna ‘Like a prayer”. I was pretty relieved to leave last night. Sorry a couple of your friends hassled you. I never was like that, although I did find it strange that people would go to the pub and not drink. Then I grew up. Funny how those bothered drank the most. I think I’ve realised that I surrounded myself with drinkers so I didn’t feel so out of step with the norm. Now I’m not drinking it’s testing those relationships. The good ones will last.

I’m up with the kids. Took me a while to get to sleep but then I slept soundly. Someone on my train home had an accident and they had to call an ambulance, which was upsetting. I was delayed getting in but was sober and understood what was happening. Could coherently text DH and let him know and no risk of a drunk sleep and missing my stop.

Hope everyone has a rewarding day today!