On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Oh thanks for the tag, I need it!

My "giving up whiskey" plan hasn't gone as well as I hoped, because it kept turning into - after the next bottle, I'll just buy one more then the weather should be normal and it'll be easier...
Then I didn't buy any more but DH did and I kept cadging drinks off him!

So then I decided to try it more gradually and if I was having a drink then maybe a gin then a whiskey, or the other way round. That went a bit better. A bit like when you start giving a cat new food and mix them together gradually! 😅

And then on Sunday night, I had one gin - didn't feel the need to balance it out with a whiskey - and haven't had a drink since!

So I'm going to attempt the weekends only rule again. With gin. I do like gin, just not quite as much as I like whiskey!

Hope everyone has been doing better than me!

Thank you for the tag! Still hanging on here. Have decided that fizzy drinks season has started, even if the weather is not really up to it.
Problem is I'm adding a bit of squash, so sugar. Trying to keep it to a minimum, but quite frankly it's better than adding wine because it did cross my mind.
@Freezingfeetwarmheart I used to enjoy a whisky or 2, or even 3, 4... then I went right off it. Had a sort of allergic reaction to it once and haven't really been bothered since. Not really a gin drinker either. Wine is my downfall. The WWWs whisper sweet nothings into my ears and I believe them or try to drown their voices out by downing the wine.
My rules at the moment are ; no solo drinking (more or less manage that) and no wine at lunch time (I'm much better at that one).
I'm sure the others will catch up on us soon.
Wishing you a lovely evening. Stay Strong and Sober...

Hi All. Thanks for starting a new thread @Bigbus .

After the weekend I'm back on the moderation bus and only at the weekends. I work in an industry which is very social and alcohol is a big part of that but been away two nights this week training, went to the bars with work mates and stuck to lime and soda (my wallet and liver are a lot healthier for it).

I literally don't think there's been a time when I've gone away like that and not had a drink (or five). So I'm counting that as a huge win.

It won't always be as easy as that because the particular group I was with didn't bat an eyelid - some drank some didn't, no big deal. Other groups there's goading and "just one" vibes. But that's another challenge which I shall tackle when I next face it.

I missed @NextPhaseofLife
and probably loads more!

Happy Friday everyone! Hope everyone's doing ok. Xx

Hi @Liverpool52 happy Friday. I’m doing ok. Moderating quite well. I went out on Thursday - planned to have three drinks, had four but said no to the fifth even though my friend was trying to persuade me. Went home and drank water. Still had some anxiety on the early hours though which felt a bit unfair!

Hey all - thank you for the tag, @Bigbus

I'm almost into my second month - day 29 today, whoop whoop. Feeling good.

@Bigbus Not sure if you've listened to some of the 'Sober Awkward' podcasts.

I listened to a few this week - one was called Beer Bullies - people push you to drink more that you want/when you don't want, and the reasons behind it.

It's pretty good.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/41gLGogWAOLI5tqRCvCNP8?si=RmlEowOcTceh8stXA6A0RQ

I personally think that many people who are Prosecco-Pushers (I've created my own term!) do it because they are insecure or unhappy with their own drinking. They need others to do it to make them feel better. The more drunk YOU become, the better they feel - they don't have a problem, they aren't alone, their drinking is normal, you're the pissed one, etc. etc.

I

Morning all! Feeling a bit grotty here. Did have two glasses of white wine last night, but honestly no more than that, but think that I mainly had too many carbs. This morning feeling bloated and still full. Eating lots of veggies and salad today and going to be downing the water as if my life depended on it.
Back to sport tomorrow morning. I've been DGC sitting so had to cancel a few bits. Also feeling sluggish, perhaps due to that as well.
Anyway, onwards and upwards it is. Hydration and proper diet, sport tomorrow. Will see how I feel in a couple of days being back to normal again.
Goes to show that when you I get used to a "healthy" way of living, the slightest naughty day and I feel awful.
Hope you all have a great Sunday (it's mothers day here, so also waiting to see if I get a surprise... hey ho, never know 😁)
SSS

Thanks @Bigbus I'm here !
I'm just going to catch up on the posts, got a coffee and bacon roll 🤣

Good morning @Amdone123 and @Nowstrong and thanks for the tip @NextPhaseOfLife .

I am feeling truly terrible. I went out yesterday and drank way way too much. Similar to the event that started me on the moderating path. I don’t remember getting home and I must have travelled on two trains and a tube. I’m mortified and really disappointed in myself because I’ve been doing so well. I feel physically and mentally terrible. So much regret. I really thought I’d got past this.

I hope that the rest of you are feeling better than me. I haven’t managed to eat anything yet!

@Bigbus , awh, I've been there. I bet many on here have too. It's awful. I remember walking through Manchester so drunk ( early evening), took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere in Salford. I asked my poor dh to pick me up but I didn't even know where I was. I started the 30 day alcohol experiment the very next day.
I know it's a cliché and I say it often, but be good to yourself. You can't turn back time, you can only learn from it.
I often think back to my incident and wondered how I wasn't raped or robbed. I had all those feelings - shame, embarrassed and my lovely dh never said one word, but he didn't have to.

Plan your day today and keep in mind that you'll never feel this rubbish again. I've had blips since mine, of course I have - we're not perfect but I've never done anything like that since. In fact, when I've been invited to town, I'll often just decline for that reason ( getting home).

Not too bad here. Granddaughter's christening was last Sunday. I was ok, when I felt tired aka drunk, I came home.
Wednesday I had 1 bottle and 2 beers, got so upset about the dog.
Not drank since but dh and I are cooking, baking, watching tennis and films today. He's been working away all week so I will drink today but I also know if I get upset about my dog, he'll listen.

Thanks @Amdone123 I will try to be kind to myself - the problem is the not remembering. It’s bad enough when I do remember but honestly I could have done or said anything on the way home. I hope I didn’t meet anyone I know. I would have been stumbling all over the place. I feel so stupid. But as you say - it’s all part of the learning journey. I’ll start listening to Annie Grace again.

I’m also so sorry about your dog. I’m glad you can talk to DH about it. It sounds like you have a lovely day planned.

Morning all, morning @Bigbus

Ah, that sounds like a tough night :-( Blackouts like that are so scary. I'm very glad you're safe. Was anyone at home waiting for you?

I don't have evidence or statistics to back this up, but my feeling and own experience is that for most heavy/binge/problem drinkers, moderating is just too hard. It's just white-knuckling it to get through those days when you can drink.

It's far, far easier to build a new life with new habits where alcohol is no longer the headline act.

Can you ever see yourself doing that?

@NextPhaseOfLife i thought I had cracked it. With the help of this thread and the Drink Aware app I had managed to drink sensibly for more than a year. I’d really like to try to moderate rather than give up completely. I haven’t had a black out like this for a very long time and it’s horrible. I am not feeling at all proud of myself.

I’m going to learn from it and have a good think about why I did it and how it can be avoided in the future. Totally AF is something to think about certainly. I know some people set themselves a 30 day challenge and then just keep going from there. Perhaps I should think about doing that.

I'm failing pretty miserably...will crack it someday. Got off nicotine tho so that's one addiction down. Hope you're all doing better than me.

That sounds like a good approach, @Bigbus

30 days will give you an idea of how you feel, especially if you aim to live life well, rather than those I know who do dry Jan and pretty much lock themselves away for the month just to get through it.

How are you feeling now? Hangovers are shit aren't they.

You did really well posting on here. It would have been far easier to pull the covers back up x

@OhShitImNearly40

Well done on quitting the cigs. That is a HARD thing to do - you're in an elite group 👏👏👏👏

@OhShitImNearly40 yes, well done on quitting. You can't do everything, so one day at a time.
I only smoke when I'm drinking, so for me, going af means I'm healthier on both counts.

Hello all,

I am back after taking a MN break. I've not caught up on the last thread but I have on this one now. @Amdone123 can I ask what's happened about your dog?

I had a huge wake up call yesterday. I had far too much to drink on Saturday night - I had a decent amount with DH and then I took it too far. I ended up having really bad racing heart palpitations yesterday evening and ended going to a&e. They did some checks and all was fine and the racing feeling actually calmed down by the time they did the ECG, but that feeling was horrible. My HR was so high my watch couldn't detect it (can only detect up to 150bpm apparently) and it was caused by drinking too much the night before.

I know I've been drinking too much lately but I've been thinking it's not that bad as I've not been feeling awful the next day (probably because I'm getting used to it 🙄) and I feel like I'm having a nice evening sitting outside BECAUSE I'm drinking wine, when actually I just need to find something else.

I don't really know where to go from here. I feel like the answer is obvious but also daunting. I've got a concert with a friend in 10 days time so I'm going to try not have anything until then, and reassess the situation then. She can moderate very well so if I say to her I don't want to drink anything, or only want a glass of wine with dinner then she will make sure I don't have any more.

Why is it so bloody addictive 🤦‍♀️

@enoughisenough4 hi !
Lovely to hear from you. Ahhh, had to have my dog put to sleep. About a month ago now. He was really poorly so I know it was the best thing to do.
Strangely, I'm ok during the day but if I've been drinking, I'm not too good ! He's actually helping me. I've been out tonight, had wine with the meal. Normally I'd get more on the way home but the thought of feeling awful through the night - and crying for him 🥴 stopped me !

Do you think you could do the next 10 days af ?
We'll help you count down the days ❤️
Sorry to hear about your incident, sounds bloody terrifying. And, yes, it's so addictive.

Hi @enoughisenough4 it sounds like we both had a bit of a blow-out on Saturday. It left me contemplating whether AF will have to be the way forward but in general I had been doing much better, keeping my units down and not bingeing. That’s what makes me even more annoyed by Saturday. Just when you think you have it cracked…

I was thinking today how I’m a bit like Jekyll and Hyde. On Saturday I was a drunken mess. Today I went for a long walk with DH and two friends - over 6 miles - then played card games with DH and DC in the afternoon then made a nice dinner. No alcohol, no desire for alcohol.

I’m going to give myself one more chance to moderate because I had been doing the best I’d ever done before Saturday. DH offered some good strategies - he suggests if going out for lunch have a reason I need to be home at a particular time or if going out in the evening have a plan for the morning that I need to be clear-headed for. I might also avoid the friend I went out with on Saturday for a while. We always end up in a mess.

Oh wow, @enoughisenough4

That sounds terrifying. Hope you're okay now.

Alcohol really isn't the great thing we think it is, is it - it's just ingrained in a a lot of our upbringings that it's the way to celebrate, commiserate, relax and socialise. Easy to see why we are so accepting of it really.

One day at a time works for a lot of people. If you can go the ten days before your concert and read up on alcohol a little bit, that might help you feel a bit more in control.

Morning, all ! Lovely day for ducks here. Where is Summer ?!
I'm.on holiday a week today and would really like to do the next 7 days af, if anyone wants to come aboard ?
Day 1 today and I know today will be easy.

@Amdone123 so sorry to hear about your dog, that's heartbreaking 💔

Yes I will be doing the next ten days AF definitely, and possibly the concert but not sure. Really the other night should be enough to put me off for a long time bit we have a hotel room booked so we can both have a drink at the concert and it feels a bit of a waste not to have a drink?! Silly really. I can still cancel the hotel room so maybe I'll do that and just drive. I shall join you in your AF week. Honestly I have no desire to drink after the other day but who knows how long that will last. I am going to join back to slimming world this evening too.

@Bigbus sounds like it! I've been much better at stopping lately, but the frequency has been too much. I've also been contemplating either I just need to go totally AF. I'm like you, productive on some days and then just consumed by the WW other evenings.

@NextPhaseOfLife hii, I don't think we've chatted before so hello! You are so right about why it's so accepting but I guess only if you don't take it too far, which I usually do. I've read this naked mind and I do have the 30 days AF free experiment book which I bought ages ago and haven't read, so I guess that's my starting point!