Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

@Limeandsoda2023 That first week is so tough and the cravings are so strong! I find it baffling how we can feel so much better without it, yet it is so hard to stay away from it… Wishing you well for week 2.

Day 42 for me. It’s been a rough week of being surrounded by close family members who are needing a lot of support. This is usually in the form of me as that’s what I aim to be for them when needed. Usually my coping mechanism would be to drink through the stress of it all until I’m numb enough to not feel it. Having to actually feel and think about everything that’s happening is something I haven’t done for quite a long time but I can only assume it must be healthier than what I was doing previously. Grateful for a clear head, some weight loss and a lot more patience and enjoyment with my toddlers this last week!

Bought some ginger beer for this evening to sit and sip. Just started a new book- the silent patient, so far so good.

Wishing everyone a happy weekend x

Evening all.
just been catching up, hope everyone is ok tonight? It’s my birthday eve & the weekend, this has to be the first birthday weekend probably since I was about 16 🙈 that I haven’t been drunk, I have to be honest I’m sat at home totally bored & wising I was out having a nice meal with wine. Tomorrow will be hard as it’s apparently going to be a hot day & we have a bbq organised with family. Xx

I am back on day 1 - went out last night to meet sister and thought I’d just have a drink that wasn’t wine (as wine is my problem..). Followed by sharing my sister’s bottle of wine in a restaurant. That was all fine but then I got home to lots of drama with my son and pulled the wine out of the fridge…felt absolutely awful (mainly emotionally but also physically) last night, couldn’t sleep etc and terrible today. I am really struggling to find other coping mechanisms.

Morning all - just catching up on the thread after my trip away. special shout out to those who are struggling - I hear you and I feel your pain.
@Marchpane123 - today is another day - get back on the horse!
@Oopsdiditagain - I find myself cursing the good weather as sitting in the garden drinking with friends and family is a huge trigger - I'm in Scotland so at least I know it won't last!
@Gratitude24 - well done on day 42 KOKO
@Shiningout @AFmammaG - well done on resisting the booze monster
@Limeandsoda2023 - welcome back x
and to everyone else who I've not tagged - I am reading all the posts but as I've been away, trying to catch up with the thread as well as the housework so time is short!!

Day 18 for me today. the trip was great - DH stuck to a few beers over the day and it was just me and him so I was completely fine with not drinking. It was a 6am flight on the way there so there was no temptation for the airport drinking - although that didn't stop plenty of other people and if DH had been with "the boys" I'm sure it wouldn't have stopped him. We got on really well and had a good laugh at times - it feels so nice not to be on the back foot/still having post-bender anxiety and so nice to get back home without DC wondering if I'd been on the piss. DD is struggling with anxiety at the moment and it feels so good that I am not adding to it.

BUT.....for some reason I find myself being so intolerant and easily riled. I am normally quite easy going whether I am drinking or AF so this is new to me. I've had lots of day 1s followed by dry periods and I've never felt so bloody impatient/intolerant/grumpy before. Everything seems to be annoying me and as I've said, I've never felt like this before when I've given up drinking. No-one is doing anything particularly different - I am just getting annoyed with stuff - for example, deep cleaned the bathroom yesterday and today it looks like its not been touched! This is not new - I say this every week - but today I feel raging about it!

I am way past the menopause (went in my 40s and haven't had a period in over 10 years) so its not that. I can't quite put my finger on it so I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this sort of thing?

I am managing to keep it inside and not scream at DH for breathing etc but it's quite unsettling. Strangely it doesn't make me want to drink though - I just dream of being on my own and away from everybody!

Can anyone relate?

Happy sunday everyone - IWNDWYT

Hi all, not been on here for a while so just catching up. Good to see new joiners and also to hear how everyone's getting on.
Day 140 for me, previously I'd stopped for 3 years then decided I was doing so well I could just drink moderately. Well, 8 years of fairly constant drinking and over indulging followed which proved me wrong! Have made peace with the fact that I can never drink again.,,
Hope everyone has a happy and peaceful week whatever stage you're at and be kind to yourselves.

Hi @Xelda

140 days is fantastic. What benefits are you seeing?

Hi @Pippa246

What a great post! Did you eat out/see sights etc?

@NextPhaseOfLife - walked literally for miles every day sightseeing. Did a few cultural touristy bits too. Hotel was bed and breakfast and just had a cafe/snack type lunch then out for dinner at night. One day I just had a massive ice cream in a chocolate waffle cone for my lunch and I didn’t give two hoots as I was so happy to be free of drinking!

DD was talking to me today about her anxiety and she said she was a bit worried picking us up from the airport (I’ve returned home from trips completely hungover or actively still drunk on several occasions) - she said she was so happy when she saw me walking to the car stone cold sober but smiling.

Im ashamed that she felt worried but so happy I stayed sober. Im determined to try and make up for some of the angst I’ve caused by moving forward sober.

I read something in a book I’m reading at the moment- nothing to do with drinking- and the mum in it talked about being proud of her daughter for staying true to her future self - I try to do the ODAAT thing and not focus too much on the future, but I really like this saying. Thinking of the “future me” as a non drinker so staying true to that path, if that makes sense?

Happy to have another sober week complete with no cravings. Looking forward to sleeping well tonight and waking up fresh tomorrow.

Hope everyone has had at least a decent day!

That sounds like an amazing trip, @Pippa246 - massive well done.

And being aware of the worry your daughter felt is a big motivator, isn't it. We get so into the habit of excusing or minimising our way of life. It's a much needed wake-up call 🙏🏻

I had a chocolate milkshake this week when I was out having dinner - I thought 'hmmm.. what about the calories?' Then thought - blimey - I'd have had about 700 wine calories if I was drinking, so I'm having it!

Have a great week x

@NextPhaseOfLife Hi, I'm definitely sleeping better, it did take a while but I'm not waking in the early hours so much. I've lost weight and my skin's clearer. Most of all though I'm feeling much happier, less irritable and have much more energy and motivation to do things that previously I would've kept putting off. I'm also going to the gym 3-4 mornings a week, at 6am on work days, and I would never have managed that before!
I wasn't drinking a lot on an average night but I had the urge to have a drink every day and at weekends it was too easy to overindulge. I've had an uneasy relationship with alcohol since my teens I think. The more time that passes the easier it's getting though, I just have to be realistic that there's no halfway for me!
How are you getting on?

That sounds great, @Xelda - what a zest for life you have 👏👏👏

I'm having a mini zest! I am sleeping so well, and the dog is enjoying the extra walks because I feel like I have tonnes of energy.

I am finding myself getting little jobs done just because, whereas before, they would never cross my mind.

And I've been out and about a lot more and a lot further, as haven't had to stay close to home as I can drive because I'm not drinking. It's so freeing!!!!

Happy Birthday @Oopsdiditagain! I think I read it’s today 🥳 I also did my Birthday this year sober and it was ok, I felt kind of positive about the change.

Busy weekend here but took the kids out and enjoyed the sunshine today. I’m twitchy tonight but letting myself have what I want to eat. The healthy eating starts tomorrow!

A lovely Sunday here spending time with my DD, getting lots of little jobs done around the house and even went for a walk at 6pm (when I would usually have opened a bottle of wine for the evening). I’m feeling v positive at the moment but have some social outings next week so nervous about those.
Hope everyone is doing ok

That’s a great update @Limeandsoda2023, it’s amazing how good we can feel and how many areas of our lives can be impacted by NOT drinking!

It’s 50 days since I joined the April thread and it’s hard to explain how I feel. I think I need to up my exercise and sort out my diet because I feel quite flat.

I did the school run this morning with a friend who made a joke that didn’t land well with me. I have a hobby that I didn’t do this weekend and she made a joke about was I ok having had to spend the weekend with my family…. I didn’t find it funny for a lot of reasons. Firstly I guess because I do everything for my kids mon-fri and my hobby at the weekend is very precious to me. Secondly it’s quite offensive to suggest very openly that I’m shirking my responsibly or hiding from my family. And finally, we all know if I was a Dad who headed out to football or cycling or golf for a few hours, no one would comment or expect them to justify it.

I don’t know. I am over reacting. I am being sensitive. But why should I be made to feel bad for taking a few hours for myself?

Anyway. I will shake it off. I have the day off today so I headed to the shops and stocked up on healthy food. I’m going to do some jobs around the house and an exercise session on YouTube. And I’m going to continue focusing on me, my physical health and my mental health because this investment of time and energy isn’t selfish… it will ultimately benefit my whole family!

Massive congratulations on your 50 days, @AFmammaG - that's a great achievement.

I can understand why the joke fell flat. When I'm trying to work out if I'm being to sensitive, I think of the friend in question - are they usually kind hearted, do they usually have the best intents, etc.

If yes - it's just a joke that fell flat.
If no - they are a catty cow and you've been alerted!

Thanks @NextPhaseOfLife, she is usually a very genuine person so I’m not sure the intent behind the joke. Sometimes I think she may be a little jealous that my DH steps up at the weekend because let’s face it, some don’t. I’m not sure. Either way, I didn’t let it ruin my day. I did my exercise and ate healthily and then very promptly had diarrhoea 🤣 you just can’t make it up. Maybe my body went into shock at eating salad!!!

Day 10 today and I'm struggling tbh, the nice weather is just really making me want a drink. I know I'd only really enjoy the first one or two and then I'd feel shit but god it's so tough to not give into the voice telling me I can just have a couple. Aghhhhhh

I don’t know if you would find this helpful or not @Shiningout but that picture you have is made up. It’s romanticising something that doesn’t, in reality, exist. Beautiful glass of wine in garden? Reading a book, enjoying the sun? It’s a glass of wine enjoyed at most, then failing to read book, getting distracted, downing the rest of the bottle, feeling like total crap the next day and guess what, the sun will still be shining, it’s just that you won’t be…

(sorry if not helpful to you, just trying to provide inspiration!).

🫣at the salad struggles @AFmammaG !! At least you’ll be losing weight 🤣🤣. Not something I will be doing as we have homemade apple strudels on the way. I am going to at least try to work out first.

You are right, 100 percent. I think i actually get happiness from the psychology of it rather than the actual effects of the alcohol, I always feel warm and relaxed within a few sips when it can't have even taken effect yet!! I've stayed strong and I'm not gonna drink tonight

@NextPhaseOfLife Glad you're getting on ok! I'm not sure I have a great zest for life 🤣 but happy settling for not feeling crap these days!

Happy day 10 @Shiningout ! I agree, the first drink is lovely but you end up feeling a bit rubbish. I just have to remember that when I think of a glass of wine in the sunshine!

Good for you, @AFmammaG, glad you didn't let her get to you.

Sorry about the stomach issues though!

@Xelda

There is a lot to be said for not feeling crap!

I've actually done a skincare routine on my face before bed for nearly two weeks now - definitely did not care about that when I was a bottle of wine down.

Small wins!

@Shiningout could you plan a little treat? I’m busy planning a short break away to mark 100 days… even though I did drink I think it would give me something positive to focus on and I’d like to mark the occasion.

@TimesaChangeling that made me laugh 😆 there is something about salad that doesn’t agree with me! Managed to stop at a couple of pieces of chocolate tonight, no crisps, no binging… fingers crossed my energy levels will improve soon.

Totally agree. I also started to actually do proper skincare for my face at the weekend. So different to when I would just fall into bed not caring!

Day 9 here and looking forward to getting into double figures tomorrow.