Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

@Limeandsoda2023 - it's so nice to care, isn't it - we shouldn't lose sight of that 💕🙏🏻💕

Well after my one post i have been lurking again because i haven't managed to string more than a couple of AF days together. I don't know why i'm struggling so badly with it. I'd be happy just to get into double digits. Oh well, day 1 over. Lets see how far i can get this time.

@Gratitude24 Can totally relate to wanting to be numb through all this adulting shit. I think that reliance has got me to this place. Hope things get easier for you soon.

@AFmammaG Hope you're going good! No you're not a puppy!

@Pippa246 Congrats on a dry trip!!

@NextPhaseOfLife mini zest 😂 I love that. I had that and lost it. Need to get my mojo back.

Apologies for the radio silence. I did not press the fuck it button on Friday despite my miserable mood. But I did on Saturday. We went away with my family so it was all very social and with this strict diet as well my husband was like for the love of god will you just eat something so I did. (We had a massive row earlier that morning which didn't help and is very unlike us). And then the wine came out. Then another bottle of wine and a few beers. Next day super hungover as I have no off switch and I felt really shit about myself.

It's a blip. I'm over it now after my period of silence and sulking. I'm back on the diet heavily focussed and I'm back on Day 2 today.

It's also PMT week so after my weekend of eating and drinking the scales haven't moved despite the fact Monday to Friday I basically starved myself so I'm not putting myself through that shit to not lose weight.

To be honest, if it wasn't for this thread I probably would have been on a 12 day drink binge so I'm really pleased that you're all here showing up.

Hi @NCgoingdry , you're right, it is a blip and there's nothing stopping you from jumping straight back on the sober bus 😊. Without being too nosy, do you really need to be on such a restrictive diet? It just seems a LOT, trying to nail being AF as well as dieting and being in PMT week. Obviously you know best, just be kind to yourself 💐

@NCgoingdry I weighed myself yesterday and I weigh exactly the same as I did 50 days ago 🤣 at least I haven't gained! I will continue to focus on not stuffing shit but I am going to up my exercise. I’ve found a nice little YouTube workout that is 30 minutes and I'm going to force myself to do it every day!

@mumsy2015 being able to jump straight back to trying is what I love about this thread. Yes I broke my run and drank but I haven't thrown away the dry days, they still count! And my body still benefited from them. Plus I feel like it takes a long time to change mindset from using alcohol. It won’t happen overnight. Be kind to yourself.

I second be kind to yourself. I haven't lost weight, but I also haven't had to calorie count all year which I used to do daily (to stay the same weight!)

Drinks on the office rooftop bar yesterday in the sun. With a Lucky Saint beer - it tasted good, and I didn't feel all blurry an hour later on the way home. That's a win in my book.

Try not to blame yourself for having a drink. It's built to make you want that first one. It's not you - it is the alcohol. That's why so many of us are in the same predicament.

Hi all,

@NCgoingdry - i echo what @TeeNoG said - is there a pressing reason behind your diet? Does it have to be now?

Cutting out two big habits in one go is a tough ask.

One of the things that's really helping me be AF is enjoying the food I want to eat, and socialising over a meal is much easier for me than drinking 🤞🤞

Well done, @Thelittlestranger - that sounds great.

I'm really into AF beers now. I haven't had Lucky Saint yet - how was it?

Hi everyone. I dont drink but I did smoke for years and stopped 2 years ago. I am currently trying to lose weight now. I just popped on here to say very well done to you all even if its a day or 1000.good luck to you all.

I’d echo everyone else, trying to do everything at once is a recipe for disaster. It doesn’t really matter what you do to cut down booze, you’ve plenty of time to deal with that later. Even the doctor said to not worry about smoking (smoking!!) until I’d settled into quitting drinking.

Whatever gives you joy is good (and trying to remember no matter what WW tells you, it is not the wine that is giving you the joy). Well done on quitting smoking @Anneofa1000days. I am beginning to feel like this round is going to stick and I can see my fitness improving already which is immense!

Hi all, I’m still here. 141 days (which is since NYE).
Just popped in for 2 reasons.. was reading your post @Pippa246 about being tetchy and it not being menstrual related. I do know what you mean and I think it’s a mix of physical and mental, if you are anything like me. For me, stopping the drink also created a lot of time, as drinking was almost like an activity. Stopping created more time and also an element of boredom which always makes me tetchy. Also, I think our bodies react in different ways and for me, that constant awareness of not allowing myself something I wanted was quite overwhelming, while those around me were oblivious to the struggle. Again- made me tetchy. I found hardcore exercise helps. Doesn’t matter when in the day I do it, having a bloody good work out really releases (much of) the rage.
Anyway, I hope what your daughter said acts as something you can use as an incentive to keep on. You’re doing so well.
Second reason is to say 5 months in, I a really getting compliments! Hurrah! Not necessarily weight related, but just “you’re looking so good”, “you’re looking well” etc etc and it’s really motivating!

Hello folks. I’m in my third week of drinking no alcohol. So far so good. After an initial enthusiasm and energy surge, I’m absolutely exhausted. Generally going to bed at 11.30 and waking up reluctantly at 7.00. I’m sleeping like a log, but honestly, I could sleep for hours more. Any ideas welcomed. I mean, I could hit the sack earlier I guess..

Hit the sack earlier @NoWayProvenceRose - when I started out I was typically going to bed about 9.30pm. I am on day 260 and I am finally managing to stay up later! But still can’t get up in the morning! 😂

I was dieting when I started on this journey but have given up at the moment. I think it’s too much to deny yourself all treats! I have found that I am not gaining weight and I am definitely looking better, so I will take that for now!

I think I may have mentioned before but M&S have got some alcohol free cocktails which people are raving about on my low carb group as they are also low sugar. Haven’t managed to get any yet but I definitely think they would help with that ‘sitting in the sunshine with a drink’ vibe.

Thanks @BoilingHotand50something ! I’m actually on day 3 of lower carb too which probably isn’t helping 😂 I’ve been enjoying the tanquery zero and low sugar tonic with fresh berries. It’s surprisingly delicious. I’ll check out these non alcohol drinks in m&S - Thankyou.

well done on day 260 - not long until your first year - amazing!

Hiya @NoWayProvenceRose

Well done your AF journey 👏👏

Sleep is a funny one. If you've been a constant drinker for a while, your sleep l cycles are likely very disrupted and will take a while to settle down,

It's the quality of sleep, not necessarily the duration, that helps you feel rested. Drinkers can zonk out for hours yet wake up feeling lethargic and rubbish,

Do you have Fitbit or similar? That will help you understand what's going on,

You could also check your vitamin levels to ensure you're not deficient.

Hi @Anneofa1000days and thank you 🙏🏻

Well done on stopping smoking - that's so hard too. I did it 20+ years ago and haven't had a single ciggie since 👊👊👊👊

Good luck on the weight loss. I think a lot of my weight gain issues were triggered by similar reasons to drinking - wanting to switch off, zone out, numb myself.

Getting coaching for weight loss via a programme was instrumental to me quitting alcohol (and losing weight!).

Good luck to you 💕

@CantFindTheBeat Thankyou. I’ll charge up the watch and download an app.

humour me…how does one check their vitamin levels?

Blood tests from the gp :)

@TeeNoG Thanks for being so supportive!

@NextPhaseOfLife Yeah I mean to be honest your comments are all fair - I think my personality is very much all or nothing. I think if I wasn't so heavily restricting myself on this diet with the coach then I would find excuses to drink.

I've said out loud I'm not going to drink and I'm going to "sort myself out". I've complained about horrible I've felt in myself for a long time so there's no excuse left really.

Without the accountability of the diet coach I probably would have continued to drink every day.

I'm back on track and in two weeks lost 8lbs.

@AFmammaG Can you link the YouTube workouts?? I did get into Caroline Girvan for a while but I was too busy being hungover to really commit to it!!!

@PissPotPourri Amazing achievement!!! Thanks for giving us some wisdom!

@NoWayProvenceRose I hit the exhaustion after the euphoria wore off! Never did push through it yet though but I bet a few more weeks and your body adjusts and starts to feel great again.

Hope everyone is keeping well.

I'm backing out of a work event next week (so many fucking events) because I know if I'll go I'll drink.

Massive trigger for me this weekend, my MIL has sent the summons for bank holiday Monday and the only way I can cope with being around her is to drink. I've told myself I won't.

@NCgoingdry I’ve been doing the 30 minute low intensity workouts. Don’t be put off by the word Zumba, it really isn’t in the traditional sense. I do them in my kitchen and I don’t jump or get up a sweat (yet). I also do them with the volume on silent so I can hear the kids. I like the little countdown clock.

I did do one yesterday but I also ate a lot in the evening… one step forwards and all that.

I’d completely forgotten about the bank holiday weekend and then DH’s wine order arrived. I will also struggle this weekend. I do miss being able to ‘start’ my evening with a glass of wine.

@AFmammaG Seems like there is always an association to drinking that we have to process and say to ourselves that we won’t be drinking. Bank holidays, sunny days, holidays, birthdays, Fridays, the list goes on and on…

I don’t think I’ll ever be happy about not having a drink again as a huge part of me enjoyed how it felt. I’m fully aware of how much better off I am physically and mentally without it and that’s what I use to keep going…

Hope everyone’s week is going ok x

Thanks @Gratitude24 one of the books I read talks about something called fade affect bias. You forget how bad the hangovers are and you remember the ‘fun’ you had when drinking. It’s as if the brain is tricking me. I do feel like I’m missing out on something, especially having someone else in the house drinking a lot. I guess it’s about changing mindset to think about everything I am gaining but that takes time and every time I slip up by drinking again it kind of re-sets the clock.

Currently sitting at 1/52 days. My short term target is to finish off May without drinking again. Longer term I’d like to see where I am at 100 days.

I really like the 1/52 approach to counting dry days since my downfall in previous attempts has typically been when I have had a drink at a social event and then am so annoyed I broke my dry streak that I carry on the next day at home...and drinking at home regularly is where I think I have the real problem with alcohol and lack of restraint. I don't drink to excess when I am out with friends, it is when I am at home of an evening that I finish a bottle on my own without thinking.

I am on day 11 today and still feeling very positive but I am attending a wedding on Saturday and feel I need to go into it consciously knowing I will drink but with a plan to get straight back on the wagon on Sunday. So I hope that by Monday I am 1/15 and positively back for another dry streak.

Good luck @AFmammaG reaching you end May target and then 100 days - that sounds awesome and where I'd like to get to too.