Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

@Camparijane welcome to the thread, those 65 days still count! Think about how much your body will have benefitted from that break. Honestly, jump back on and I’m sure you’ll find it much easier this time around.

I say that sitting here awfully hungover I feel so disappointed in myself. I’ve wasted my day off feeling ill and I’m pretty sure I embarrassed myself last night. I can’t really even remember. What an idiot. Did the school run this morning with my sun glasses on and head down. Why do I do this? That feeling of shame is strong. You know there’s loads of weight loss injections at the moment? That’s what I feel like I need. Some sort of injection that makes me not want alcohol. I just can’t seem to do it by myself. I need something else. I guess I need help.

Although I’m having a bit of a pity party I just wanted to say I’m so grateful for everyone who is posting. And so proud of the progress you are making.

Don't worry @AFmammaG it's just a slip. You did 17 days and that's great. There's still some July left if you want to give it a go?
I'm still craving. I'm just lucky (this may be the wrong word) that there's been something stopping me. So now it's chicken pox. I can't drink when the child will be sleeping in with me.

I don't know what to do myself. I tried moderation but that didn't seem to work. Being completely sober is not really what I want to do either.
I want to let my hair down and have fun now and again but without the cravings in-between.
I want to go back to September 2023 when I drank like a normal person and smack myself stupid for even thinking of drinking more.

Hullo everyone. I just wanted to pop in to say keep going, tomorrow's a new day and all that jazz. There are pebbles along the way but with map in hand we will all get there.

@AFmammaG you are doing so well, not only trying yourself but keeping everyone else on here positive too. You can do this. I know you can. Keep going.

Hope you’re feeling better today AFMammaG and some of the hangxiety has evaporated and you could see Thursday for what it (probably!) was - a massive build up of steam and stress, end of term, end of school year, sun shining and whoomph, off to the races?

No need to feel angry or cross with yourself. You’re just human.

Thank you for the kind words everyone. I am feeling a bit better now. Think I will be doing a bit of research to see what other support is available in my area.

Hope everyone else is ok today.

I hope you can find something that will help. Brush yourself off, try not to be too hard on yourself.

All good here, have had a few days of a couple of drinks over my bday. Stopped at 2 and my sleep was still so affected and the feeling of lethargy and dry scratchiness was so weird to feel again. I'm analysing it quite a lot - I'm not sure how I feel about it. My attitude has definitely changed towards drinking without a doubt. And I'm going with the flow to see where that takes me.

I'm not sure how helpful it is for me to talk about this on here, so may lay low for a while - but I'm here in spirit (of the non-alcohol variety) and will keep an eye on you all and pop in.

@Thelittlestranger I think everyone has different plans and struggles, so the thread is whatever you need it for! I am amazed now at the effect alcohol has and wonder just how on earth I was packing it away and thinking I felt okay. I didn’t, not by a long stretch.

I was pondering where I’d be in a month’s time when we hit the one year anniversary of the first thread. By a rough reckoning I would have drink 12 times over the year. Now, you could look at that as 12 points of failure OR I could say, on an average year I might have drunk 210 - 260 times. And then I would see that the year has seen an absolutely massive change in the way that I drink and that is undoubtedly a huge win and one that was unfathomable at the beginning. I think it’s important to look behind as well as where you are now. Bit like walking up a huge hill, sometimes you just don’t appreciate how far you’ve come until you do.

Hope everyone is ok, I had a lovely day today. Ate well and managed almost an hour on the treadmill. Small steps and all that. Just got to keep it up for the next 6 weeks

Oh you got the treadmill!! Are you loving it?

@TimesaChangeling yes I got it! It’s a bit bigger than I was expecting but I wanted DH to be able to get on it safely. He’s been on it once…. But yes, I am enjoying just being able to do 30 mins here or there. In my pj’s or at night. Times when I wouldn’t have left the house but as a result did no exercise. Sometimes I struggle to feel motivated to get on it but then I absolutely always feel better after using it. Even if I’m just plodding along while watching tv. Something is better then nothing.

I’ve decided not to set myself a new target wrt not drinking. I just want to take things one day at a time. I’ve come to a rough plan around keeping my mental health strong over the summer. I am making a huge effort to keep on top of the clutter in the downstairs of my house, keeping the kitchen tidy and taking toys upstairs. Otherwise I start to feel completely overwhelmed.

I also went to the library before the end of term and went on the wait list for some quit lit (made me laugh the books were already checked out). I should get Matthew Perry’s autobiography later this week and looking forward to reading that.

Treadmills are ace! And I had mine for over a year before others suddenly started taking an interest in using it - so I wouldn’t discount the DH just yet. Besides, they have an annoying habit of wanting to use it at exactly the same time…

I read all the quit lit in the beginning, it really helped me to build up an aversion that wasn’t originally there. I started listening to the Matthew Perry one but what helped me was identifying a bit with the authors and try as I might, I couldn’t identify my way into global megastar. Sad as I think his story really is.

I have a treadmill - must starting using it!

Just popping in to say - I tried one of the Schweppes Mocktails - the Aprerol one. It was quite nice actually whilst sitting in the garden last night. They are on offer in Tesco at the moment, might be worth a try for anyone - like me - who has broken the alcohol habit but not the pretend alcohol habit!

I have this weird fascination with doom and gloom, so as long as it’s a largely unhappy story, I’m sure I’ll enjoy his book @TimesaChangeling, will let you know how I find it.
I’ve also started listening to some reels on FB by people who have stopped drinking. Some of them are a bit preachy but some I like watching the transformation over time or they might share something I haven't thought of. I think what I’ve realised is that I still very much want to stop drinking, especially at home.
Feeling quite positive at the moment. Found some free things to do with the kids this week. I’m just taking the summer holidays a day at a time. It was August last year that I joined the original thread, after a ridiculously bad summer. I’m putting lots of things in place to make sure I don’t end up back at that place. Just in case it helps anyone….
Drinking lots of water
Eating fruit and veg
Exercising
Keeping the downstairs of the house tidy
Taking some time to myself
The other thing I’ve done is limit my kids screen time which was really horrible at first because I swear they had some sort of withdrawal but now it’s great. They are back in the garden, colouring, doing word searches, playing with toys. I’m doing everything I can to make sure this summer is completely different to the last one.

@BoilingHotand50something thanks for the tip! I’m going to add some to my next online shop!

Just reading back and wanted to add as well as reducing screen time for my kids I’m also working really hard to improve their diet. Yesterday I got my little boy to eat carrot. I know that sounds like a very insignificant thing to most people but to me it was a huge win. I think I had given up trying for a little while because I just couldn’t take all the failure and that’s why screen time and diet had got bad. I then got into a bit of a depression about being a crap mum, letting them down etc etc but I do feel like I’m slowly making progress, I’ve just got to find it within me to keep going.

Raising the baseline and all that!!!

Funnily enough, I came to a similar realisation lately about the kids diet so something else I am looking to tackle.

I think I have just got into a routine of giving them food I know they will eat because I didn’t have the strength/time for the constant argument. I’ve already reduced down the puddings slowly over time so they haven’t noticed so much. Just swapping ice creams for yogurt or adding fruit to the plate of veggies. Now I’m slowly upping the portion of healthy stuff and reducing down the unhealthy option so it’s still on the plate but it’s smaller.

If you have a fussy eater I’d recommend dried fruit, I know it has sugar and isn’t great for teeth but for me it’s better than what they were eating before. Or cheese and crackers. Better for teeth and I present it as a treat!

If anyone wants to add some ‘healthy’ snacks for kids over the summer holidays, please do. I need all the help I can get!

Good morning all 👋🏼🌞. 10 days no drinking today. Last night I really really wanted a cold beer, but then I thought “one surely isn’t enough” and remembered how I feel after a night of drinking.

So I busied myself with chores and children and all of a sudden it was bedtime and I hadn’t drank.

I hope to keep going without alcohol and then begin an elimination diet. I’ve had terrible allergies since having my son and am sick and tired of all the medication required to control the various symptoms.

@AFmammaG my kids really enjoy a salad made of tomato, cucumber, olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. It’s very simple but they will eat buckets of it!! I add thinly sliced carrot, avocado, or greens to mine.

It also helps to simply not have the junk food in the house at all. Whenever we do buy popsicles or chips or something they eat the entire thing in a couple days. Id rather have the fridge full of fruits and veggies and let them help themselves.

But they are hopelessly addicted to screens, as am I 😞.

I caved on Monday. I was trying to find the courage to admit this. Now I'm craving but just as much as before. Just brushed that off and ready to try again. Hopefully I can stay sober in October. I expect blips along the way but come October, I'll be stronger.
In this latest attempt I haven't seen a physical or mental change whereas previous attempts I looked and felt better within days. I don't think that's helped my motivation this time around. But I also know my diet is shit. Very shit.

Yesterday I started my vitamins again. I had a small meal with fresh juice. Going to stock up on fruits and vegetables at the weekend.

Has anyone tried a b12 injection? I have 0 energy. That's been the case for weeks so can't blame Mondays fuck up.

@CoffeeLover90 you did so well 👏 I know the benefits did not feel as obvious to you but you know your insides would have felt the difference. Well done on that long run, no one can take that away from you.

@SadMama87 well done for resisting. Every time you post I want to sing “miracle miracle”!

I can’t imagine a day my son would eat a salad… but you never know. I will keep persevering. Today he had some raisins and dried mango with his cucumber. I felt like a really good mum 😆

Onwards and upwards everyone.

@AFmammaG I have to laugh at myself. Coming on here yesterday saying 'yep. Gonna be healthy. Gonna be good' AND got a takeaway burger for tea 🤣 Hey the cravings start and I'd rather a burger than wine (for now)
Can't get a grocery shop in until the weekend. There's not a lot of healthy choices in house right now.
I'll get there. Aiming for a stone off by Christmas.

It raining. Again.

Just putting that out there. Having an absolutely awful day. Have let the kids on their screens while I eat crisps. This fucking weather. Sigh.