Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

Evening all, hope you’re all having a good weekend. End of a really exhausting two weeks, 30 hours of plane journeys and a bunch of exhausting schtick. I didn’t quite make it through AF, the final night at the airport before I flew home and I succumbed. Disappointed with myself but had also gotten through something I loathed and I was tired and a bit miserable with it all and desperate to switch off from it.

So much happier to be home! No talking!! It’s bliss

@AFmammaG love it!! Never seen one like that over here. We have huge slides with multiple lanes that are wide enough for adults but it’s wavy and no sacks that you sit in, just ones you sit on (that I recall).

Those sacks are quite similar @SadMama87, it depends where you go how strict they are about stuffing yourself in! You will get elbow burns if they are not covered 🤣

@TimesaChangeling please don’t feel disappointed about that last evening, you did soooooo well! All that travelling and hotels and people, you nailed it! Not sure I could have got through that dry. Enjoy the peace of being home.

Well I overate last night 😒 bit annoyed with myself because I had healthy food in but had almost a relapse of my evening stuffing. Anyway, I won’t dwell. I will just focus on better choices today. Onwards and upwards! No need to press the fuck it button because of one evening. Check me out! I’m totally learning and growing as a person!

Posting here to be accountable.. I am hungover and I feel like shit. Don't drink people it's not worth it ☹️

@Shiningout 😭 sorry you feel rough. What set it off? Sometimes it helps to talk.

I guess I used to drink mostly through habit. It was just what I looked forward to on a Friday and Saturday evening. If I went out on a Thursday or Wednesday then I would also drink to be social. And of course if it was a bank holiday weekend or I had a Monday off I’d add in the Sunday.

It got to the point where I was in this hangover/drink cycle and I felt ill pretty much all the time.

Also meant to add not to underestimate the impact of grief on the cycle. Add that to the mix and it’s even harder 💐

Thanks @AFmammaG. you know how they say that a slip happens long before it actually happens and in my case I knew my head was saying “ooh Thursday, when it’s all done” last week. But it’s okay, I am not going to get too upset about it. For various reasons I definitely have to have a month clear now so that’s positive.

@Shiningout I would barely have recovered from one night before the next one came abounding and I cannot fathom how I did it now. The clarity and energy you get from not drinking consistently is immense - it does take a while though. In my case it was a couple of months at least before I really began to feel it, before the sleep kicked in and before it became easier. I’m a bit of a fool in that I allowed myself to start again but even once a month is a hell of a lot better than 4 times a week (minimum!!). So do keep trying. Something will click eventually and it will become addictive (hah) when it does

Feeling a bit down this morning. Yesterday my diet was appalling. It was Fathers Day and DH wanted party style food for dinner. I had crisps, cake, chocolate 😭 it turned into a bit of a binge.
I didn’t drink alcohol, so that is a positive and I did my exercise but I just feel rubbish this morning. I guess if you put rubbish in…
Feel a bit like like I haven’t actually changed, still punishing my body. I know it’s just one day but I’ve done so well so far this month. I guess it just scares me a bit that it’s so easy to fall back into bad habits.
I have today off so I’m going to have a bit of a clear out. My wardrobe is in need of attention. I spend so much time in my kids rooms sorting their shit out I never get round to my own! Hopefully a good sort out will help lift my spirits.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend!

@AFmammaG - yeah - rubbish in rubbish out. But you didn’t drink so good on you …….sadly I did. Was at 46 days or so but crumbled yesterday. Now I’m sitting in asda nursing a hangover and thinking I’m never gonna beat this. All I want to do is buy a bottle of booze to make me feel better- dreading going home to face the family

Don’t buy the booze @Pippa246! It won’t make you feel better 😢
Sorry to hear you are feeling so rough, it always seems to be around the 6 week mark that I break as well. I tell myself once every 6 weeks is a million times better than what I used to drink. Why the dread to go home?

If you want to keep counting you can be 1/46. I did that for a while, mainly to make myself feel better about the blip because I knew I had still achieved something great. Now I don’t feel the need so much but I still update my app. 46 days is a fantastic achievement. Please don’t forget that.

There is a similar expression GIGO (garbage in, garbage out) that I hear on workout videos but, quite importantly, it’s about the garbage you tell yourself and not the garbage you consume - don’t let it dominate your thinking about yourself because that’s where more damage is done. It was a party day, nothing more, nothing less!

I hope you managed to survive the supermarket @Pippa246 and are beginning to feel better.

I have survived a day in the sun surrounded by pimms, champagne and beer. Ordinarily I would have been on it but quite interesting noticing that no one else in the group was really going for it and I would have been doing it alone (and probably not noticing either). So glad I didn’t.

Morning all, hope everyone is doing ok.

I went to the pub last night. I didn’t drink but boy was I tempted. I thought it might be getting easier by now. It’s not. I ended up ordered the same as my friend as she wasn’t drinking and I just couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t even think of an AF drink I wanted. I’ve been avoiding temptation as much as possible but I have to get back to life at some point. I want to get to a place where I can walk into a pub and not even want alcohol, to not even be bothered. Is that realistic? And how long does it take? Will I ever feel that way? Or am I doomed to be lusting after the wine aisle for eternity? Sigh.

Well done @TimesaChangeling. Isn't it interesting how little most people drink! Like you, I had never noticed when I was drinking......

@AFmammaG How are you? I hope you're feeling a bit better and have stopped beating yourself up. I do relate to how a day of stepping away from your plan can make you feel like you've 'failed', but the reality is that good diet and nutrition is not ruined by one day of bad eating. If it made you feel crappy then you can learn from it, but all is not lost. Hugs 🤗

Thanks @TeeNoG I keep repeating to myself that it was a win because I didn’t drink and that’s my June goal but I didn’t enjoy it. I felt on edge. I was relieved to leave.

@AFmammaG You have now been in a pub without drinking. Next time you walk into a pub it won't feel so strange. And the time after less so - it's the habit you are now breaking again.

@TimesaChangeling I found that when I went out with work, and my friends actually. Lots of them drinking water - and those that had more, you could tell.

I was away for the weekend this weekend - usually a boozy affair. Not this time. I feel like I have got the hang of this.

But, my journey is changing a little. I must admit to thinking about having a drink more and more. I've found the last six months comparatively easy - no cravings or yearnings. I was expecting it to be harder. I'm evaluating what I want for the rest of my life. There are lots of benefits to not drinking and I can see that now. I couldn't see how I could do it before as the habit was ingrained. Now I'm wondering if there is an in-between for me. I never set out for this to be forever - just 100 days.

Still working it out.

Hello everyone - I messed up big time. So ashamed and disgusted with myself. Why is it so hard to just not drink? I’m not sure I can ever be better

I’m sorry this felt so challenging and tough but you really deserve a huge cheer for having done it and you should be really proud of it. You don’t have to repeat it, you have tested the water and found it unpleasant. Would it help to start looking at other things you can do with friends that don’t involve pubs and nights out? You really do deserve a social life but it absolutely doesn’t need to be alcohol based and that is totally fine.

@Pippa246 no putting yourself down here. It’s a blip and it’s okay. Maybe it would help to see those feelings as representing something else other than self loathing - a desire to move forward and change? Previously perhaps you wouldn’t have thought twice about it so this is progress (just not as you know it Jim!).

Thanks @TeeNoG and @Thelittlestranger it is so eye opening isn’t it. I always feel so happy getting into bed and drifting off sober. It’s possibly one of my favourite things.

@TimesaChangeling - thank you for the kind words. I really really want to be ok but can’t imagine a life without alcohol. Even though it’s making me so unhappy 😔

I hear you @Pippa246, I hear you.

@Thelittlestranger I know what you mean about still figuring things out. I feel like I can still only set myself short term targets because I don’t really know what I want. I feel “better” when I’m dry. Physically and mentally. But, but… The urge is still there and I do miss the Friday night feeling.

If I could land somewhere between my best and my worst I’m fairly sure I would be alright. I’ve just never managed that.

The problem is @TimesaChangeling I’ve spent the past 20 years building my friendship circle around drinking. Even with my Mum friends now the kids are a bit older. We always meet in the pub. Yes, I’ve done coffees and some dry lunches but the nights out are where the laughs are at. I’ve felt pretty isolated since April. I know that’s on me not them but I just find socialising dry so…. dry 🤣

Sorry to be on such a downer. This is how I go though. I’ll do 5 or 6 weeks and then it gets to me and I’ll drink and then I’ll be back on it. Until the next time. It’s an improvement on life before this thread but it’s not ideal.

Oh mate it's shit. I have absolutely failed this week with being alcohol free or even moderation if I'm honest. Feel like I'll always be in this battle.

It is indeed shit. I am literally ruining my life. And my family. I know I should stop completely but I just can’t.

It appears I can't either. Solidarity here ❤️

Morning all. How is everyone? I’ve hardly slept a wink and been vomiting but there’s nothing coming up so it’s more retching - sorry TMI. I just keep thinking every hour that passes is an hour closer to ridding my body of that bloody poison.

Hope people are doing better than me. Day 1 again.