No alcohol April - the place to share, moan and support

[Thelittlestranger]

Hello everyone!

Starting a new thread, my first one! Big thanks to @noalcohol2024 who originally set up these threads.

Come and chat if you are just giving it a go, starting a longer journey, or sober-curious.

Day 91 for me. I started this thinking I would do 100 days, and now I'm not sure when I'll stop. If at all.

Well done to everyone so far 🥳
I have JUST about survived the biggest event in a Scousers calander 🐎😂 must say I have missed not being involved in the shenanigans, but I’ll be up & fresh tomorrow & still enjoyed putting a bet on & watching it on the tv at my mums with a brew xx

none of these for me this weekend 😂😂

😂 @Oopsdiditagain well done for resisting!

I feel stronger tonight than yesterday, I’m looking forward to my 2 week marker tomorrow. Reminding myself of all the reasons why I don’t want to drink has helped. Hope everyone else is ok tonight.

Up and at it ! Day 14 . Opened a bottle of Nozecco last night .. think I will stick on tea and diet cokes ! I'm hoping something has clicked as I'm not even fancying AF drinks

22 days for me and feeling really positive!

I love having so much more time and energy at the weekend..

Ive even noticed my kids behaviour seems better? Maybe because I have more patience, am less tired and no headache ! I'm also not as irritable.

We went for a pub roast today which I really enjoyed and managed to eat all of! I usually can't eat it all due to feeling sicky with a hangover !

we've had a great Easter holidays and the atmosphere in my house is happy and calm 😌

At this point, right now, I don't want to drink alcohol ever again. It brings nothing positive to my life.

@VanLife33 sounds like you've already had some fab positives!
Well done!
I can relate with the kids aspect.
Notice who is the one who's behaviour has changed? Yours! The kids are the same (probably worse as it's been the holidays)
My tolerance for tantrums has risen exponentially & I find I'm taking in & really enjoying the 'moments' I've got heaps more patience too.
Don't get me wrong there's still those 'I wish it was bedtime moments at 11am' 🤣 but I'm generally a 'better mum'
That's my biggest motivation.... that & it's back to nursery run tomorrow... ain't no one wana do that with a hangover! 😅

@Manchestermummax3 thank you!

Your absolutely right in that it's my behaviour that has changed! Like you say they still have their moments it's just a lot more manageable!

The kids are my main motivation.. both my parents are drinkers ... Dad an everyday drinker and mum a binge drinker so I know what it's like to grow up in that kind of environment.

I don't want it to be their normal like it was mine and the older I get the more like my mother I'm becoming with my drinking habits and I don't like it.

I've said many times how I want to be AF and I can honestly say hand on heart I feel like this is going to be it❤️

Day 92 for me!

Hi, just checking in, on day 106 🙂 Have been around since the start but fell away from the thread when the OG OP jumped off the wagon just to recalibrate. I don't even think very often about drinking any more, certainly not at the habitual times such as Friday night. @Limeandsober has summed up much of the benefits for me so far and I have zero regrets. Great to see some of the other originals still going and lots of new faces 🙂

Hi all, I'm also still still here. Day 131! I have just checked the Try Dry app out of curiosity as I can't be bothered with counting any more.

Thinking about having a drink at the airport in a couple of weeks but also thinking 'is it really worth it?' The pull is very strong! I don't miss it nor do I think about it. I do find social situations hard as everyone else is getting drunk and I'm enjoying it but not as carefree and relaxed as them. Oh well. I guess that might get better with time.

Lovely to see some old names and new ones here too. Love this thread, let's keep it going for May too x

Day 16. I’m just wondering whether people ‘warn’ their friends they are not drinking if they go out? I’ve been invited out this weekend and want to go and drink AF drinks but it’s with a friend who I normally get pretty drunk with. It feels a bit misleading not to say anything in advance, but I’m also a bit worried about saying in advance in case that looks a bit…. Weird?!

Sorry..... no advice but interested to hear others go to lines. I can't keep saying antibiotics for long, I don't drive so that's out the window... last time I joked I was pregnant... again that won't work for long!

Though as per my previous post, booze does give me the shits 💩 maybe that'll be a conversation stopper? 🤣

😆 that may be a conversation killer!

I want to say yes I’d like to come out but just a heads up I’m not drinking at the moment but then I’m worried it will become a big deal or she’ll cancel. I don’t think it’s enough to say I’m taking a break from alcohol because that just leads to more questions.

@AFmammaG
Same, I keep trying to think of things that won't invite more questions or encouragement to just have 1 (or a couple) 🙄
Anything but the truth eh?!

Hard one - if it was a mate who I tend to get shedded with I have avoided pubs and done other things with them instead. Some aren't interested. But I have been honest with everyone - I figure it's not something to be ashamed about. It's been interesting what the responses have been. Some haven't cared - others have asked when I'm going to start again.

@Thelittlestranger
Funny thing is my best friend (who's the one I mainly drink with) has seen the good/bad/ugly of me. There's not a tmi subject we haven't discussed over the years! Health issues, break ups, operations, pregnancy. Yet my alcohol problem.... well, that's my dirty secret.
I did try to say I'm not drinking a few weeks ago... queue a piss take, cajoling & then practically begging me... I caved.

Wasn't meant with malice, she's a wonderful friend but I ended up chosing to drink instead of being honest.
I think because we always have drinks together. Whether it be a night out, lunch or even a night in.
I have invited her to go on a shopping trip.... her 1st reply was cocktails over lunch then? 😫
She doesn't drink sun-thurs but definitely binges on a weekend whereas I will drink every night.

I know I won't lose her as a friend so why can't I just tell her?!

I appreciate the responses. I suppose it’s a sensitive subject for me because I did lose a friend one dry Jan who was too honest about not wanting to socialise with me because I wasn’t drinking. We had a bust up because I wanted to meet up (going through some difficult times) and she basically said call me in February…

Looking back, it was more about her inability to do a sober catch up than mine. Not that I would have asked her not to drink but she hated drinking alone. In all honesty she’s not the only one. I had a friend who drank far too much and I started to realise she would decline all non-alcohol based catch ups and I’d only get her to come out if it was in the pub. Very sadly, she passed away from an alcohol related illness in her 40s. I never realised it at the time but in the last 6 months or so of her life, I only ever saw her if there was alcohol involved. Despite that I didn’t know she was an alcoholic. All those nights out and it didn’t click.

I guess I need to be honest in advance and if she cancels, she cancels. Day 17 for me. It’s been a long time since I could say that.

Day 17. Was within seconds of pressing the fuck it button last night. My 23 year old son is struggling and seems depressed.. he has started talking to me thank goodness and has made a GP appointment today .. some of it work related and also has interviews for a new job coming up. I felt so upset that my first thought was to go to the shop and get wine. I literally white knuckled through an hour or so . But I'm so glad this morning I had a sleep tea instead ( didn't make me sleep but hey ho)

Bloody well done. Congratulate yourself on getting past it, don't beat yourself up for thinking it in the first place. Be kind.

My best friend is the one who replied 'i hope you do drink again.' I have barely heard from her this year - she's going through her own stuff, but I hadn't considered that we hadn't seen each other because i wasn't drinking 🤔

I've got a work black tie event tonight to get through. I'm not tempted to drink, but my goodness it would be more fun with a glass of bubbly in my hand.

@AFmammaG now I've sat & thought about it, I think maybe circumstances are similar yours regarding your friend. Mine will quite often throw a little tantrum at anyone of us that doesn't want to continue the night up into town. She will want to stay out til 4am every weekend! Like the night mustn't end. It usually fine if there's several of us but if its just me & her then she can be a right toddler!
I'm sorry to here about your other friend, that must have we been a shock. Just goes to show the secrecy we create around drinking. There are several people who would pit money in me not having a drink problem!

Congratulations on day 17! & well done for making the decision to accept the possibility of her cancelling than giving in to drinking 👏

@BrummieCahoots well done on getting through what sounds like an emotionally difficult evening. I bet you woke up this morning so pleased you didn't drink... even if you were probably tired! Alcohol doesn't take away our troubles... it just delays them for a few hours & then you still have to manage them with a hangover on top!
Then the added anxiety of what new troubles you might have caused whilst drinking. No thanks!

Thanks @Manchestermummax3 I did message and say I wasn’t drinking. She replied to say she’ll think about it (!) still feels better then just turning up to her having ordered a glass of wine for me or something. Plus I don’t want to mislead anyone.

I was listening to a sober podcast about honesty and why we lie. Not just about alcohol but as an every day thing. It was interesting. I guess it’s about having the confidence to be honest, even when that’s difficult.

@BrummieCahoots well done for not pushing that button. The amount of times I have and then it can take me weeks or sometimes months to try again. Totally not worth it. The longer I have under my belt the less I want to start at day 1 again. I hope yesterday was a better day.

@AFmammaG
Thank you . He's getting there .. went to doc and got meds yesterday and has second interview for a new job next week x

@AFmammaG been absorbed in my quit lit this morning whilst I have some rare free time.... coincidentally here's something I took away from a chapter today.

Don't doubt your 'worth' as a friend. It is quite clear she has an issue with alcohol herself. Because if she didn't, why would it matter if you were drinking or not? The fact that she is considering cancelling because it may either disrupt, limit or draw attention to her own drinking speaks volumes.
Often problem drinkers encourage others to join them to hide their own issues & justify drinking. Someone who doesn't have a problem wouldn't.

What was the podcast called? I've told so many lies to cover up my levels of drinking & being honest (hahaha) I'm struggling with even the thought of being honest with my loved ones about my problems with booze.

Day 25! Longest I've gone outside of pregnancies in about 10 years!

@Manchestermummax3 the podcast is called ‘fucking sober - the first 90 days’. It’s series 1 and was one of the later episodes that she looks at how lying has been a part of her life since childhood. There’s quite a lot about AA in that series but even that I find interesting, as a non-believer. I’m now on series 2, which is less about AA and about a mother of 3.

Checking in. Day 20. Dry.

I didn’t end up seeing my friend. She decided to extend the invite to a few others, which is fine but I just didn’t fancy it. I don’t think I would enjoy the evening.

My initial target is a dry April but ideally I’d like to go longer. For now though it’s one day at a time. Hope everyone else is doing ok tonight.