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Alcohol support

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No alcohol April - the place to share, moan and support

248 replies

Thelittlestranger · 31/03/2024 20:22

Hello everyone!

Starting a new thread, my first one! Big thanks to @noalcohol2024 who originally set up these threads.

Come and chat if you are just giving it a go, starting a longer journey, or sober-curious.

Day 91 for me. I started this thinking I would do 100 days, and now I'm not sure when I'll stop. If at all.

OP posts:
PissPotPourri · 10/04/2024 08:20

Well done fellow 100 dayers!
It’s quite a long time isn’t it?
I haven’t given myself a target. I’m just not allowing myself to drink… sheer will power. I still really miss it sometimes and if I have one then I’ve granted permission for there always to be a reason to drink and I’ll be straight back to every day drinking.
Day 101 here I come!

DJer24 · 10/04/2024 08:23

luxuria84 · 10/04/2024 07:32

Thanks @VanLife33 😊

What has been helping me along is that I always give myself 'permission' to have a drink if I want one. That way I don't see it as if I am denying myself anything.

I have also stopped thinking too far ahead too.. so I don't fret about upcoming events anymore, and the 'will I drink/is it going to be a battle' etc internal dialogue has quietened right down.

I decide on the day and in the moment, and what's been interesting for me so far, has been in that moment I just haven't been arsed enough with the prospect of having a drink to have one!

Im not sure if Im making sense here, but it seems to be working for me for now.

I have also told myself that the aim is not to be teetotal forever, and I strongly believe I will drink again, but it will be when I really want one and not through some embedded habit telling me I have to drink at social occasions as some kind of weird 'rule'!

Takes the pressure off massively for me too!

OH and I and the kids are going out for posh pizza this evening, Friday I am out with the girls and Saturday we are spending the night with my best friend and husband and alcohol will very much feature in all of the above.

I will decide at each what I do. 😊

Thanks for this - I think this is where I'd like to be too. Hoping I can maintain the clarity to know when I'd like to partake and when not. As you say, it's only been a couple of times I genuinely thought it would have added anything.

@VanLife33 I don't think I'll set any target now, but I do (quite sadly) enjoy ticking days off for now so I'll probably do that til I'm bored with it Grin

Itsrainingten · 10/04/2024 08:51

@DJer24 I'm the same! I love ticking off days. I'm on day 119 now and no intention to stop keeping track. I love the feeling of recognition it gives me. I'm the same with my fitness tracker watch. If I didn't have it I wouldn't bother but somehow this little bit if tech keeps me accountable. Go figure 😂

Thelittlestranger · 10/04/2024 13:42

I don't look every day, but I am still tracking the days. When I get to the point that I'm not, I clearly won't need to any more is my thinking.

Wow! So many of us - and it really is an achievement. Anyone looked back at the Jan thread to see what we were saying then? Id imagine it's a lot of what others are saying now...

Agree with the not committing to never drinking and taking each occasion at a time. Also, appreciating the other side that sobriety brings. I'm away with my friends in two weeks where booze would usually play a huge part. I'm looking forward to sleeping well, no jobs to do, chats ill actually remember, connecting with them in different ways other than a cocktail - and not coming back like I need another weekend away.

OP posts:
Itsrainingten · 11/04/2024 19:14

Thought I'd list some of the positive things I've noticed about being sober (am about 4 months AF) Maybe it might help some of the people in the early days. So here we go. In no particular order...

  • I have loads more energy.
  • I have gone from seeing a therapist weekly and being off sick from work often with mental health issues, to pretty much content
  • my skin is better
  • I have so much more TIME. I am studying in the evenings and exercising before work almost every day
  • I actually look after myself now, I never used to bother taking my makeup off or even brushing my teeth before bed (yuck) because I was too drunk
  • my acid reflux has disappeared
  • I am present with my kids and a much better example to them
  • less arguments with DH
  • I sleep better
  • I have more money

There are probably other benefits too. But these are the ones that came to mind.
Also it gets so much easier as the days go past. Honestly.

Manchestermummax3 · 11/04/2024 20:21

Thanks for that @Itsrainingten

I've debated actually writing out all the positives I've already noticed. Mostly a more present mum & I sleep through the night now (1st week was hell!)
I'm chirpy in the mornings, after my coffee obvs, & not dragging my ass through the motions of the morning routine.

But it's early days for me so it's still mixed in with cravings, (that bitch) the wine witch & the daily arguments with myself about whether I could moderate (I cant).... fuck it, I've had a shit day... no one will know (I live alone, except kids who are in bed)

Did you find that improvements continued & you discovered ones you didn't even realise would happen?
What was the most unexpected/surprising?

Questions open to all posters! Especially if you have funny/strange ones! I could do with a giggle this eve 😅

Limeandsober · 11/04/2024 20:38

I’ve been reflecting on the benefits too - still nil alcohol for 2024 for me.

I will say it has taken me a full 3 months to feel truly ‘better’.

I’d been in a real rut, cycle of evening drinking, hideous hideous anxiety, no real deep sleep just boozed to sedation and then 3am wake ups with turbo anxiety until it was time to get up.
Not really eating properly, eating junk late on in the evening, stodgy snacky junk not nutritional meals.

My most favourite things are the sleep, deep lovely proper sleep. I really think it took me a couple of months to get enough and do its deep cleanse restorative stuff. Few times I’ve woken so stiff where I’ve clearly stayed in the same position all night, truly exhausted.

Another is the anxiety packing its bags. I’m an anxious person but it was off the chart and unsustainable- high adrenaline heart thumping anxiety non stop, fuelled by alcohol and further fuelled by the hangover. now I still get anxious but it dissipates really quickly and I am able to rationalise much better.

I’ve put on a noticeable amount of weight - I needed to and I feel better. Skin getting better, had awful spots for a while as all the rubbish cleared out of my system.

funny pains in my insides have got a lot better, fairly sure these were anxiety fuelled health anxiety mostly, with my digestive system also waving a white flag at being constantly chemical burned.

Brain fog is slowly lifting I have better clarity and better concentration.

I take my vitamins and I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed!

I have noticed like a grow out line on my nails where what’s growing out is peely and looks tobacco stained? But I don’t smoke. Nice normal pink nails growing through.

Feel in control now and I’ve no plans to ruin all that lovely healing. Get the very odd pang of craving but it’s very fleeting. Would I actually put that drink to my mouth and swallow some? No. No thank you

Oopsdiditagain · 11/04/2024 23:13

Evening everyone.
still here & another day under my belt 😃
big weekend started today as we live right by Aintree & it’s usually a alcohol packed weekend if we actually go to the races or not.
Not going this year….thankgod & have decided to miss going the pubs & I’m off to my mums tomorrow till Sunday as she’s a bit further away so might feel safer 😂🙈xx
well done to everyone too xxx

Thelittlestranger · 12/04/2024 07:09

@Limeandsober @Itsrainingten that is an amazing list of benefits!!

@Manchestermummax3 a few I didn't expect - I've stopped snoring. Completely. Before I snored even when I didn't drink and it had started to become a regular nightly occurrence. Now it's gone. I'm also more regular - excuse the detail (!) - but I am now going daily and before it was every 3-4 days.

Good luck with the weekend @Oopsdiditagain

OP posts:
BrummieCahoots · 12/04/2024 07:34

Day 12 .. Wine witch came knocking last night , she has a name. "Grim Rita" .. she was born 14 years ago at my mom's funeral .. I had red wine and was talking about the grim reaper for some reason and said "Grim Rita" instead ... anyway, she thought a Thursday night after work drink would be a good idea , but I sent her packing.
Also , my sleep is awful , did anyone else struggle in the early days ?

AFmammaG · 12/04/2024 07:48

Morning all. Day 12 here. I’m already panicking about tonight. I find Friday’s so hard. A drink used to signal the start of the weekend. I’ve planned to wash my hair during that awful hour of temptation 🤣 if I can get through that hour I’ll be alright tonight. Desperate to keep going. I feel so refreshed this week after the peaceful sleep. I just can’t start again.

Itsrainingten · 12/04/2024 09:11

Well done @BrummieCahoots on kicking the wine witch back into her place
@AFmammaG could you get something else nice to drink instead to signal the weekend? Would that help? AF beer or kombucha or CBD drink?
Keep going guys. It gets easier. I promise

BrummieCahoots · 12/04/2024 09:13

AFmammaG · 12/04/2024 07:48

Morning all. Day 12 here. I’m already panicking about tonight. I find Friday’s so hard. A drink used to signal the start of the weekend. I’ve planned to wash my hair during that awful hour of temptation 🤣 if I can get through that hour I’ll be alright tonight. Desperate to keep going. I feel so refreshed this week after the peaceful sleep. I just can’t start again.

Im going to blitz clean my house in Friday witching hour !

Dexterrolledoffthesofa · 12/04/2024 10:55

Grim Rita!! I love that!
I'm on day 13, and am finding it easier to deal with my toxic friend - as in I'm no longer being so worried about their feelings, and being more assertive about what want (or more importantly DON'T want) from the friendship.
I will have a glass of wine at some point, but it will be for an occasion rather than just for the hell of it.

Manchestermummax3 · 12/04/2024 15:27

@Thelittlestranger I have the opposite problem! I put always having the runs down to my gallbladder, had it removed. Problem persisted so put it down to not having a gallbladder....
turns out alcohol gives me the shits! 😅 go figure!

Jokes aside, my bowels have dominated my life for a couple years now. Avoided eating out or having to go out after I've eaten. Other than the fact I still have a weak bladder (thanks kids lol) I no longer have to plan around public toilets!

TeeNoG · 12/04/2024 20:32

Am I laying in the bath, scrolling Mumsnet and drinking a CBD drink? Yes I am and it's glorious.
Loving all the positives that people are finding from not drinking.

@AFmammaG how's it going? Hope you're managing to enjoy your Friday night. @BrummieCahoots cleaning and organising is a great distraction. I've spent the last 2 evenings organising my sons football cards into a binder and honestly quite enjoyed it 😅. @Manchestermummax3 your poor gallbladder 😂. Must admit I invented many official diagnoses when I was drinking, but strangely enough the bloating, the heartburn and the tiredness seem to have disappeared........

AFmammaG · 12/04/2024 20:35

@TeeNoG I was just coming on to say I bloody made it! It was a close call at one point. I don’t know how I can be 100% certain I’m not going to drink at all at 8am and by 8pm I’m desperately struggling.

I got through it by promising myself if I really really really want a drink tomorrow, then I’ll have one. Whatever works right?! Tomorrow I’ll do the same 😆

AFmammaG · 12/04/2024 20:39

Also, I had soup for for dinner followed by plain nuts, so was feeling pretty 😇 about how well I’m doing. It’s so stupid to throw away 12 days for the sake of a couple of hours. Plus I know that tomorrow I would have felt shit. So much of this is mind over matter.

Manchestermummax3 · 13/04/2024 07:43

Day 20 today!

I am up & on my 2nd coffee of the morning ☕️

Today, I'm taking my youngest to Avon Valley Aventure Park!
Loving feeling fresh, rested & excited for the day 😊 I'd usually be doing day trips on a hangover but not today! 💪
Making the most of the last of the half term before it's back to nursery/school runs Monday.
Tomorrow will be a housework/week ahead prep day.

What's everyone doing this weekend?

Thelittlestranger · 13/04/2024 07:54

Had a great night sleep last night! So also feeling fresh and today I'm prom dress shopping with my daughter. Going to take the dog for a long walk first (after dropping the other daughter at work.)

Went to the cinema last night - I would never have missed my Friday drink and nibbles at home to do that before.

I've still got the habit of wanting to be home by a certain time when I'm out for the day and I think it's because that's when I'd have my evening drink. My sundowner. About 5/6 o clock. It's a part of the habit I'm still breaking.

I'm looking hopefully around hoping I'll be brought a cuppa in bed....

Enjoy the adventure park.

OP posts:
TeeNoG · 13/04/2024 07:55

That's great @AFmammaG, well done. I bet you feel great this morning.

I'm not quite sure what this weekend brings! Was planning a trip to the zoo today but the weather doesn't look promising. I'll have a coffee and come up with a plan! One thing I will say, changes of plans, disrupted plans, emergency plans are all MUCH easier to deal with hangover free. Have a great weekend everyone.

BrummieCahoots · 13/04/2024 07:59

Morning Everyone.. Day 13 and heading into a nice relaxing weekend of strolls, books, coffee and cake !
Grim Rita the wine witch stayed away last night as I cleaned the house with my cleaning playlist on and then had nice food . Hope everyone has a lovely sober day !

Manchestermummax3 · 13/04/2024 08:07

@Thelittlestranger well done! I haven't been to the cinema for years. Got used to streaming so I can pause when I like.... usually to go to the fridge for a top up of wine. Prom dress shopping sounds fun! (& expensive 😅 good job you've saved all that money not drinking eh? Lol)
@TeeNoG I hope the weather clears for you today! Its great that stressful situations feel much more manageable isn't it. Definitely noticed that myself.
@BrummieCahoots so glad the witch left you alone last night, maybe the beginning of less frequent visits from her 🤞
Reading is something I've just got back into. Used the library again for the 1st time since I was a kid this year. What are you reading? I have a mix of quit lit & thriller novels. Great thing with my library is everything can be done online/self check out. No need for the awkward check out of sober books!

BrummieCahoots · 13/04/2024 08:31

@Manchestermummax3
Im reading the second Jo Callaghan book .. so good .. the first one is "in the blink of an eye " second one "leave no trace" .. I also have piles of quit lit .. I'm listening to quit lit whilst ironing etc , and some of the sober podcasts.

AFmammaG · 13/04/2024 09:08

@TeeNoG I do feel great this morning. Really hopeful. Took me ages to get to sleep but then I had 8hrs uninterrupted. Heavenly.

This weekend I’ll also be getting the house in order before return to school and work. Kind of glad to get back into the routine but also apprehensive about the desire to drink. Guess I’ll need to take it one day at a time.