Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

It has a bit, hopefully all for good rather than bad reasons. I would like this still to be going when the bulbs come up! Not long til snow drops I hope.

Also bumbling along here. I lost my motivation down the back of the sofa somewhere so work and exercise feel like a drag and half of my dinners consist of toast! No desire for booze so that’s a plus. It’s been 5 months now (with the one day crisis bottle in December) and it no longer feels like a novelty but just rather the way things should be which is great.

Hi all. I am still here. Also bumbling along and also struggling with exercise and diet but staying off the booze. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Hi all. Day 1 for me. I have had a very difficult relationship with alcohol was af for 1 year and felt fabulous. For whatever reason I decided to moderate and well I am sure you know how that goes
U reassured myself it was Ok as I wasn't drinking at my previous level and could go days without. So now, I have found out my dd hates me drinking at all as 'I change '
I am so ashamed I feel like I have really let her down. This has got to be the trigger for me.
I need to stop now, no more moderation.
Looking forward to getting to know the stories of everyone else on this thread.

@Allthecatseverywhereallatonce thank you for your post.

I can't quite believe it but here I am saying that today I got to 100 days AF! Never, ever did I think that was achievable and I am very proud of myself - it is so much thanks to this group, in the early days I relied on reading this thread, quit lit and podcast recommendations. So thank you everyone.

I absolutely don't want to drink tomorrow/next week but have found myself wondering if I've done the 'reset' and could now set myself some rules (no drinking at home, when alone etc) so your post has been the warning I needed - it'd be a slippery slope and the reality is I've done the hard work - I can't have any more day 1's so thank you for the stark reminder and I really that this is day 1 of 1000's of AF days for you xx

Thank you @MissSmith80 I think some people can moderate and some cannot. I cannot and that is ok. I just need to keep pushing through this.
I remember an audiobook by Craig Beck where he talked about setting rules and basically it is a sure fire way to fail. The reason being they are 'your rules' which means you have permission to alter and adjust them.

@Allthecatseverywhereallatonce thanks for that and it makes so much sense - I've tried 'rules' before and of course changed them - I won't drink at home until it was celebrating a promotion and then commiserating a bad day... and so it went on.
I honestly think I need to stay AF forever and I can now say that with full knowledge of how much better the last 100 days have been.

Congratulations on 100 days @MissSmith80 -that's amazing. And well done to others who have managed to stay dry and to those who are just starting a new day 1. I am on day 19 today and aiming for a dry streak of 100 days. As @Allthecatseverywhereallatonce says, I am always setting rules about when I can drink and then I negotiate (with myself) a way around them until I am back drinking every day. So this time I am trying to tell myself it is non-negotiable for 100 days and then, if I can get that far, hopefully wanting to carry on AF after the 100 days. I have been focusing on no drinking but from this weekend I want to also try to eat a bit more healthily and to get out and walk more.

I highly recommend Craig Beck stop drinking books, I listen to them. They really resonate. Craig was an alcoholic and really understands. It is almost funny the way he explains that we have been brainwashed into drinking a poison. Here's to many more AF days for us all.🎉

Welcome @Allthecatseverywhereallatonce - this thread has been a massive help to me. I am coming up to 140 days. I am too scared to try and moderate but your post is a good reminder why! One of my daughters is very keen I do not start again - I suspect for the same reason as yours!

Huge congratulations @MissSmith80 - amazing achievement. I found things much easier once I got to that stage.

Well done @Limeandsoda2023 - 19 days is great. Sounds like you have a great strategy to get to 100.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Hello @Allthecatseverywhereallatonce I think this is what I really fear if I start off again. Having to go right back to the beginning again when stopping is so much harder. Momentum is a powerful force and it’s so much easier for me now than it was back at the beginning when each day was a struggle.

I wouldn’t be one of these women writing a book about just how amazing I feel, the truth is I am knackered all the time and I still can’t find my joie de vivre but my brain is operating much faster (back to thinking in my feet when it’s important, particularly at work), I am doing more and more with my free time and I am finding small moments of wonder. I stopped in a field on my dog walk today, the sky was crystal clear, the sun was shining and I could hear a bird (it was a tit of some sort, which made two of us ) and I just closed my eyes and breathed. It was quite zen! Made quite the contrast with stomping round feeling headachey and nauseous, worrying about everything.

Massive well done on your 100 days @MissSmith80 ! That’s fab, I hope you feel really proud.

Checking in. Not dry. Sorry guys, I’ve been neglecting the thread but I feel rotten posting when I’m not fully on board. I don’t want to derail anyone doing well. I do want to say I’m so proud of everyone dry, drunk or anywhere in between.

Going to catch up now.

@MissSmith80 👏so so proud of you! 100 days is an absolute milestone. Thanks so much for coming on and updating.

Welcome @Allthecatseverywhereallatonce. I’ve done a few dry periods myself. I did 2 years when pregnant and breast feeding my oldest. I curse myself regularly for going back to it.

@TimesaChangeling 5 months, what a fantastic place to be. I have also been getting out a bit more, weather permitting! It does do something good for the soul, that’s for sure.

Checking in, day 22 here so over 3 weeks now! Feeling so much more present just in every day life. Not wasting weekends feeling hungover and being more productive in work. I also have been reading more which is keeping me busy of a night time. I sadly seem to put on weight while not drinking, still aiming for at least dry January with half an eye on 100 days dry.
Hope everyone is doing well.

Morning @Limeandsoda2023 @BoilingHotand50something @TimesaChangeling and everyone E who has been so welcoming.

How is everyone getting on? Weekends can be really tough. It is day 3 today and great waking up without a headache/dry mouth and worse of all for me is the fear.
I could do with loosing at least a stone but that is not my priority right now.
Hope you all have a great day.

I weighed myself this morning and it’s going in the wrong direction

I went to the shops and got myself meal replacement drinks for next week. I’ll have a dry week and then be back here on Friday for support.

@smegley how are you?

Hello all

I'm still here, 2 weeks dry now :)
My mental health has taken an absolute battering but even taking that into account I'm so much better off without the alcohol.

I'm in regular contact with the detox clinic and the acamprosate tablets are really helping.
Mental health wise I've been given a new regime of medication and I should have been allocated a CPN after my appointment last week. Just waiting to hear from them now.

I feel like I have got to rebuild my whole life.
Addiction isolated me and made me more depressed than I ever was.
I almost totally disengaged from my life, stopped going out, gave up on all personal self care, stopped all hobbies/gym/running/swimming. I stopped everything outside of work and drinking.
I gained weight from all the calories in the wine, despite living on almost solely bags of crisps. So I need to tackle that too.

Now I have the mammoth task of rebuilding, one step at a time though eh!

I hope you're all doing ok :)

Hi @smegley I am new to this thread but not new to multiple attempts to quit or moderate.
You clearly have a lot to deal with but have got lots of support. Often we drink to help our MH even though we know in the long run it worsens it, it just feels right at that time.
I too have MH problems that have recently come to a head in quite an unpleasant way but that's ok. I need to be the one to change it
I am in awe of how much you have going on, and have remained sober for 2 weeks 🎉.
Please use that momentum to keep moving forward. I know from a previous year's sobriety the best is yet to come.

Keep using this thread for support and to document your amazing progress.
I really hope you are being kind to yourself and rewarding your progress.

@smegley great to hear from you. I have heard that people only appreciate they were at rock bottom when they start to rise from it.

I am filled with admiration for you. You have taken a huge leap and have been very courageous.

Oh @smegley thanks for replying and updating, 2 weeks is amazing! You are doing so well. Absolutely agree with one step at a time. I am super proud of you! Hang in there, it really will be worth it!

I had an awful nights sleep. I’m up this morning with a renewed determination.

It’s Monday 22 Jan. This weekend I will be doing my first dry weekend of the year. I can and I will do it.

Anyone lurking, I am committing now to coming back to update more regularly. I am committing to trying really hard to have a month of no alcohol. A month is my new target.

There’s no shame here and I’m still committed to celebrating the small wins. Yesterday I could have drank, but I didn’t. I may have had an awful sleep but at least there is no hangover this morning.

Well done @smegley - sounds like you are doing great and well done @MamaGhina - you can do this.

Hey @MamaGhina I hope the week is going well. Mondays are hard enough as it is! But it’s a really cool thing to be renewing your efforts and I hope it isn’t too daunting. Also thank you for the flurry of posts reviving this thread!

I have a work dinner tomorrow night and I can tell it will be a flurry of “what” again(!). It would be helpful to have booze because it’s largely a collection of psychopaths but at least I won’t be feeling crap the next day.