Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Hurray @BoilingHotand50something congratulations!! Hope you’re feeling really proud, fab job.

@SpringNotSprung I used to adore Christmas when I was younger and now I find it a much sadder time with my parents gone. It shines a light into a lonelier life that isn’t very welcome and I understand better now what some people meant when they said Christmas just wasn’t a good time. Bloody wisdom. But I hope you have some special moments with your mother, the gift of time now can be a wonderful thing (not necessarily for everyone- some people’s parents are awful! But it doesn’t sound like that’s your position).

Lord, thread killer or what!!

Hope everyone is doing okay. I was walking in the woods today and holly and berries were out - so beautiful and vibrant. It was a lovely positive thing I took today. I hope everyone is finding lovely stuff this season and sorry about the mood dampener yesterday. I was having a missing my mum day.

It was fine and made sense to me @TimesaChangeling. We have a couple of Holly trees in the garden and the berries are abundant this year, as they have been on other shrubs and trees. I am waiting for a hard winter to start.

Work has been very challenging for the last week or two - some of my leave cancelled next week. I could have murdered a glass of wine tonight but have resisted.

I hope everyone's OK.

@TimesaChangeling sorry for not replying before. Too busy feeling poorly! Definitely don’t apologise - I think we need to get a bit deep to work out why we have been medicating with alcohol. I lost both my parents young and I think there is definitely some numbing of the pain been going on. Your walk today sounds lovely. 🌷

100 days! @BoilingHotand50something you are a ⭐️ many congratulations!

Sorry for the radio silence. It’s been one thing after another here. Illness, work, Christmas concerts, nativities, choir performance, gymnastics, Christmas jumper day, secret Santa… I could go on!

I’m doing ok, not dry by any stretch but not shit faced in a bush either. Just getting through to the New Year. Need to catch up properly on the thread but hope everyone is ok.

I hear you @MamaGhina

This term has been brutal and still got a week to go! Luckily my kids are out of the Christmas frenzy that is primary school but still been busy and we’ve all been ill!

Still can’t decide whether to have a drink over Christmas. Well I did decide to have one, but now I am wavering.

Hoping everyone's OK.

So sorry to hear there's so much illness about. DD has had a nasty viral bug and had Monday to Wednesday off. She's very ready to break up but her school carries on until Thursday. She's 25 and a teacher so experiences it from the other angle - secondary though so not so much nativity and Christmas jumpers.

I should be finishing today but won't be - terms again for me but HE - all the campus cafes are now shut and we can't even buy a coffee!

Something I'm finding and I was a half bottle a day, so not vast amounts, is that if I have a glass of wine at the weekend, I really hanker for one during the week. Yesterday and the day before I really wanted a glass and nearly caved, so perhaps it's best just not to at all, or certainly to resist drinking at home.

I bought my direct reports a bottle of wine each last night and then regretted it, wondering if any of them were quietly struggling. It's done now and I can't undo it (without necking six bottles) but I don't think I'll chose the easy booze route next year. Hindsight and all that!

Such a difficult time of the year to stay strong for abstinence or even moderation!

Morning all. Don't worry @SpringNotSprung, I think we're all learning to do this on the hoof! It takes so much adjusting in so many areas of our lives, its great that you're even that aware- so many people aren't!

I'm on day 19 today, and I've definitely noticed some benefits, I'm calmer, my skin is better, and I'm not experiencing the racing heart I so often panicked about whilst I lay in bed at night. When I get to sleep I'm sleeping much better, but it's taking my ages to drop off- last night I went to bed at 10pm but was still awake at 1am. I think my body is just used to the booze making me sleepy. Has anyone else experienced this? I've started taking Valerian and Magnesium supplements before I go to bed, but I'm still struggling to drop off. It's annoying as I often have issues with my sleep and was looking forward to the amazing sleep everyone talks about when you give up drinking!

Hi everyone, it’s been about 3.5 months AF for me now. Feeling no cravings and don’t reach for it - hang in there u can do it too… honestly if I can then it’s possible! I’ve been off the radar as sadly being AF no longer masks problems so I’ve been dealing with the fact I’m unhappy in my marriage. Difficult. Remember it’s the hardest time of year to be going AF so be kind to yourselves!

Hello everyone astonishingly I am on day 20!!! I am finding it much easier this time round-something has clicked in my brain and I don’t actually want any wine. I am loving my posh cordials and mocktails. Good luck to everyone over festive period. I have always found it easier to be low booze, ironically. The pressure to drink made me rebel in the other direction! 🤣 my trickiest times are when I’m tired after work and cba to cook. Much easier to have a drink.

Well done @Cloudsclouds6 @Haggisfish3 @GingerLemonLime on keeping going. @SpringNotSprung I know what you mean about the gifts. A bottle of wine is my default employee gift but given where we are all at, it makes you wonder if it’s the right thing.

I am ploughing on. Having non alcoholic wine more frequently at the moment - I think it’s due to the run up to Christmas. Also have not been fasting or low carbing due to a poorly household. So January I will be back hitting it hard but for now, not going to beat myself up, particularly as I am still not drinking. My app tells me I have saved 35k calories so far!

Afternoon all, another boozy weekend survived without partaking! I keep getting shadow hangovers though - as in, I feel fine but my brain is still assuming I’m not and therefore doing x is not going to be enjoyable. I have to remind myself I don’t have one!

I’m not entirely loving the socialising though - it ends up with those little bits pockets of drunken conversation and I just know I am not part of it. Tbf it’s fine, in some cases I absolutely don’t want to be. In one case yesterday sober me (yes sober me, the irony) wanted to say exactly what I thought and it would not have been pleasant all round. So that’s the cue to depart I guess.

well done on your day 20 @Haggisfish3 , that’s really great! And sorry @Cloudsclouds6 , a relationship is an entire world isn’t it? Hard to escape from.

Well done @TimesaChangeling - both on not partaking and resisting the temptation to speak your mind!

That’s brilliant @TimesaChangeling that you resisted and also a good experience to not feel compelled or sucked into a conversation you don’t like. I think I feel more sensible and level headed too and rather than thinking it’s boring it’s actually really useful! Thanks for your support re r’ships - you are bang on the money - a relationship does feel like the entire world sometimes. I’ve been practicing a lot of escapism tbf - not drinking in the eves means I can take myself off to gym classes etc!

Ah well at least the need to escape is taking you to the gym. You’ll be very smug come Jan 1 when everyone else traipses in!

I watched something the other day that stuck with me and that was remembering not to equate peace with boredom. This is what’s calm(er) life looks like and just because we are not frantically running the hamster wheel with booze (loads of other hamster wheels still going any way, of course), it doesn’t mean it’s boring.

I haven't been on here in weeks

@TimesaChangeling I read your quote and that is so so true. It took me a good long while to realise that not having drama in my life did not mean I was boring. For the most part I live a very peaceful life these days in the drama department and it is wonderful.
DS is heading into the terrible 2s so we will see how long drama stays at bay but at least it is not drama caused by me being a fool with alcohol in me!!

@BoilingHotand50something I've been given a few in the office but I just pass them on to someone else. I don't even bring them home to give as gifts myself.

I donated a recent gift of champers elsewhere. Bit of a tragedy as it was a nice one!

I am really really finding this week hard. It’s not the festive socialising it’s sort of the opposite. I have been working like a dog for the last few weeks and every evening when I eventually stop I am “raaaaah I want wine” coupled with the whole am I / aren’t I having a glass at Christmas. I just feel I am completely and utterly missing out because of work and I deserve something. I am sane enough to know that wine isn’t the actual answer to that but god it would help.

I bought super posh cordials and they are very nice. I have discovered my Achilles heel is red meat-I cannot apparently comprehend eating it without red wine! Had a blip the other night when I drank a whole bottle with some venison. I felt fine the next day but haven’t had anything g since. Otherwise I’ve been sober for 24 days which is amazing for me.

Oh @TimesaChangeling I am totally in the same place as “the whole am I / aren’t I having a glass at Christmas” - I decided I was, but then changed my mind, now not sure. Argh!

Also finding this week hard due to all the usual things that involve a glass - the big wrap, finishing the big wrap, finishing work for Christmas, panto and then on the day itself Christmas breakfast Buck’s Fizz, sherry cooking the dinner, white with the dinner, red with the cheese. I know I need to reframe!

Also agree reframing what feels like boring evenings as peaceful evenings. Still not quite there over 100 days in.

Well done @Haggisfish3 at getting back on track after your blip. It’s impressive. This is why I worry about having a glass - not being able to get back on track after.

How is everyone else doing? Not surprised it’s quiet but hope people are ok and hoping to see people back after the festivities!

Hi everyone, haven't checked in for a little while.
I'm at day 72 today and seem to have made another step forward - I really haven't considered while I/won't I drink over Christmas for at least a week- it is completely obvious and okay that I won't - why would I? It doesn't give me anything.
My sleep got better very quickly after becoming AF but the last week has seen it get even better, I am peacefully drifting off after a few chapters of a book, having great sleep and waking up full of energy - it feels great and I want to hang on to it.
Its interesting the phases that seem to happen - like incremental steps. There's apparently another one around 100 days so looking forward to seeing what that brings. Oh how I wished I'd done this sooner but I suppose it's taken all of the 'day 1's' to finally impact.
Hoping everyone has a good few days in the run up to the big day x

Well done @Haggisfish3 on powering through and recovering from the blip! I also fear not being able to get back in the wagon otherwise I think I would have conceded by now.

I really wanted to again tonight but actually have been feeling rubbish all day. Had I drunk last night I wouldn’t have known, I would just have assumed a hangover and felt really stupid for doing it so trying to bottle that feeling (hollow haha). Good to hear great positivity @MissSmith80 I am quite jealous of that clarity of thought and energy.

Not been on for a while. Safe to say I'm on yet another day zero. Did go a month without, but that was only because I was ill and didn't actually want it. Plus missed all works Xmas parties... probably blessing in disguise.

Will post more in new year when I will be sober...I promise.

Hope everyone is ok xx

@PleaseBePacific good to hear from you. Sorry to hear you have been ill and see you in 2024 if not before.

I am still here. Still sober. How is everyone else?

Hello everyone. Lapses are normal and forgivable in my opinion.

We had a family meal tonight with DS and DIL. I had two small glasses of red. I won't drink tomorrow, Christmas Day or Boxing Day as I'll be driving. Also, as I have discovered, booze gives me the munchies and I'm as concerned about sabotaging my weight loss as I am with staying on the wagon.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and wonderful Christmas/holiday time.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone.
I've got a day of preparations - food and presents. I've got some lovely AF sticks to sip with the Christmas tunes on.
Have a good day everyone.