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Alcohol support

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Original poster

He has just cracked open bottle number 4

175 replies

Lablo · 06/09/2023 02:59

DP is amazing, honestly in everyway. Apart from his drinking. Every single night. A couple of beers and then at least 2 bottles of red wine. I am working nights tonight and he is still up and has just opened bottle number 4, that’s insane. He is on A/L this week so doesn’t have work.

He is never aggressive or anything when drinking but obviously can barely talk and stumbles around. Yet when he is working he is up at 6:30 bright and breezy, popping his multi vitamins with a big glass of water in his shirt whistling off to work.

I have mentioned this before but he just says everyone likes a drink and he likes a bit more.

bottle number 4?! WTAF???

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 06/09/2023 03:43

That is not normal drinking at all. I say that as someone who has routinely drunk too much and has recently decided to give up because my health was suffering. Does he have any nights he doesn't drink? Does he drive to work? Do you have children? This amount of alcohol is going to take its toll before long?

blahblahblah1654 · 06/09/2023 03:46

That's a huge amount of alcohol. He'll be dangerously over the limit the next day for driving. It's likely to catch up on him very soon health wise.

blahblahblah1654 · 06/09/2023 03:47

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about it unless he admits he has a problem. But you do have the power to leave.

Someoneonlyyouknow · 06/09/2023 04:19

Two bottles of beer (even 4) is OK but do you mean he regularly drinks 2 bottles of wine before driving a few hours later? No way he is not still over the limit. Buy him a home breathalyser and if that doesn't change his behaviour call the police - if he's involved in an accident how guilty would you feel that you didn't do all in your power to stop him

WandaWonder · 06/09/2023 04:20

blahblahblah1654 · 06/09/2023 03:47

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about it unless he admits he has a problem. But you do have the power to leave.

All of this

CheekyHobson · 06/09/2023 04:22

He's a functional alcoholic, the stage that comes before dysfunctional alcoholic.

Galectable · 06/09/2023 04:25

That is waaaay too much. Yes to the breathalyzer idea. Does he drink more alone or with you? I'm guessing there's some trauma he's blocking out with alcohol. Who is paying for all this alcohol? It may come down to an ultimatum - either you or the bottle. You truly do not want to stay with this man who consumes so much alcohol every day. Good luck.

LovelyQuiche · 06/09/2023 04:33

That’s 40 units of alcohol in 1 evening???

buzzlightyearsgloves · 06/09/2023 04:36

Do you mean 4 bottles of wine or 4 bottles of beer? I can't imagine how anyone would be able to get go for work at 6 after that.

Imogensmumma · 06/09/2023 04:43

That is way too much and I drink more than I should with a glass or two each night… but 4 bottles that is so dangerous his liver must be ready to cark it. Do you have kids with this man child? If so I’d be giving some home truths about how he won’t see them grow up at all

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 06/09/2023 04:46

Jesus 4 bottles of red wine in a night?? And 2 bottles every night? That’s a LOT of alcohol and will be destroying his insides even if it’s not noticeable at the moment. He must be spending a fortune too. He needs to get some proper help with his alcoholism.

gerispringer · 06/09/2023 04:48

You can phone al Anon and discuss your feelings about this . You are enabling his behaviour if you buy any of this alcohol or if you sweep your concerns under the carpet and pretend it isn’t a problem for you. I had to issue a “me or the booze” ultimatum a couple of years ago. Fortunately my OH did get help and has been alcohol free for over 2 years and we are in a much better place.

Wtfnowseptember · 06/09/2023 05:13

Your choice, op. You only get one life.

Frenchfancy · 06/09/2023 05:27

I notice you say DP not DH. Are there DC involved? If not then I would be issuing a. Ultimatum.

You get only one life and at this rate his is going to be short.

solice84 · 06/09/2023 06:15

Jesus F Christ
I thought exh was bad with his 3 bottles
Notice it's ex-h
Ultimatum time op
It will only get worse
If you question it too much he'll start hiding it
Since I threw mine out he has lost his driving license and his career

Lastchancechica · 06/09/2023 06:17

He is going to kill himself. Please tell me he isn’t caring for children whilst you work.

Original poster
Lablo · 06/09/2023 06:52

Thank you all for your responses.

sorry to confirm that was bottle of wine number 4!! 4 beers wouldn’t touch the sides. He went to bed shortly after.

He is off work this week on A/L so he isn’t getting up for work today.

If he has work, it’s 2 bottles of wine a night, and he can polish that off about 10pm and go to bed and then he gets up at 6:30 for work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lablo · 06/09/2023 06:54

ApolloandDaphne · 06/09/2023 03:43

That is not normal drinking at all. I say that as someone who has routinely drunk too much and has recently decided to give up because my health was suffering. Does he have any nights he doesn't drink? Does he drive to work? Do you have children? This amount of alcohol is going to take its toll before long?

No nights he does not drink at all.
yes he drives to work but if he is working he’ll do 2 bottles and be in bed by 10pm.

we do have children but not together, both late teens.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lablo · 06/09/2023 06:55

CheekyHobson · 06/09/2023 04:22

He's a functional alcoholic, the stage that comes before dysfunctional alcoholic.

This is what I am worried about!

OP posts:
hashbrownsandwich · 06/09/2023 06:55

Wow. I am a HCP but realistic that some people like a drink but 4 bottle of wine is shocking. How often is he doing this?

sawnotseen · 06/09/2023 06:57

That's a lot of alcohol. Each unit takes an hour to leave your system so he really shouldn't be drinking the next day as that's over well over 30 units.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and functioned for several years.....until I didn't. I lost my husband, my home, my adult kids (to live with their dad but I see them now), my career and my driving licence.
There's not really anything you can do to make him drink less or stop, I only did when I realised that I had an illness and to 'cure' it, meant I had to stop drinking completely. My friend had breast cancer and that really put my fears and pain into perspective. Thankfully she's in remission.
I'm better now but it's taken years. I put my family through an awful lot of anguish, worry, anger and pain which I will forever be trying to resolve.
Alcohol dependency is called a family illness. It really is. Mine suffered a lot through my addiction.
I went to AA, SMART recovery, detox and 3 mths rehab plus two hospitalisations. None of that worked.
I'm sorry but he will soon become dependent if he's drinking at that level, he will become ill and he will become a complete pain in the arse, as I did.
I've just had the all clear regarding my liver - I abused it for years so I'm very grateful.
I hope your partner gets to the root of his problems and finds another way to release/relax.
I hope you realise that he has to do this or else he will ruin your life, as I did to my exH (although we are friends now, 12 yrs on).

SallyWD · 06/09/2023 06:57

That's a scary amount of alcohol. I lived with an alcoholic for 9 years and believe me, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I would leave him sadly.

Original poster
Lablo · 06/09/2023 06:57

hashbrownsandwich · 06/09/2023 06:55

Wow. I am a HCP but realistic that some people like a drink but 4 bottle of wine is shocking. How often is he doing this?

This is the first time I have ever seen him crack the 4th bottle, he drank I would say half a glass out of this. So last night he drank 4 beers, 3 bottles of red and I suppose a few sips of red on top before he went to bed. He drinks 2 bottles a night every night, and I have seen him do 3 but this is probably once a week

OP posts:
Original poster
Lablo · 06/09/2023 06:58

Thank you for sharing this for this insight . I am so sorry things got so bad for you. I am pleased to hear they are better.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lablo · 06/09/2023 07:02

Galectable · 06/09/2023 04:25

That is waaaay too much. Yes to the breathalyzer idea. Does he drink more alone or with you? I'm guessing there's some trauma he's blocking out with alcohol. Who is paying for all this alcohol? It may come down to an ultimatum - either you or the bottle. You truly do not want to stay with this man who consumes so much alcohol every day. Good luck.

We do sometimes drink together.

I never drink if I have work the next day, so I have at least 4 alcohol free days/nights a week. I can drink a bottle of wine and be very content with that, maybe one night of the weekend. But mostly I’ll have a couple of G&T’s and make them last the evening.

He will drink alone, it’s as routine as getting in the shower after work.

OP posts: