It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Say 14 (24 with one slip). Feeling confident and really keen to make this a lifelong decision this time.

Morning all, I couldn’t sleep so up early. No plans today so going to try really hard to be productive rather then sitting on the sofa watching a place in the sun.
What’s everyone else up to?

I love a place in the sun. A bit of eacapism and living the dream through somebody elses experience. One day it will be me. After I've saved up all the AF money and turned it into a 2 bed in the sun. 😂my dreams will have to be reassessed though. No call for a retirement of drinking wine and eating cheese in France anymore. It might have to be somewhere like Costa Rica where they drink juice and go to the beach.

Anyway, back to today. Going to do something, but not sure what yet 🤔

Wishing everyone well. Good luck. You are all fab and I hope you all succeed.

I am going to take a little break from MNet.

@SpringNotSprung

hope everything is okay. x Best wishes.

@NewLifeHappyLife yes, all is fine but after 15 or so years as part of the MNet community, I have found the high number of antisemitic posts and threads allowed to prevail to be distasteful and concerning. Therefore, as a woman with Jewish heritage, until or unless a statement of neutrality at the very least comes from MNet Towers, my further engagement with the site is unconscionable.

I understand completely. Love to you and yours. ❤

Totally understand @SpringNotSprung - will miss you and hope some action is taken. Stay well.

@SpringNotSprung I have been shocked at the antisemitism shown on MN this week.

My heart goes out to all in the Jewish community and I hope and pray that one day you will all feel safe.

Echoing what everyone else has said @SpringNotSprung, sending you best wishes. Thanks for all the support on this thread and hope we will see you back again in the not so distant future.

Morning all- I hope everyone had a lovely Sunday evening.

My slip (when I cracked last week) turned into a slide. But hopefully just a children's slide and not one of those massive amusement park slides as I am back being alcohol free again since Friday. I learned that although i like drinking at the time... for a bit of time at least... the resulting anger at myself and irritation and feeling just awful is not worth it. And alot of it is around feeling bored and not knowing how to fill the hours that alcohol filled.

So back again and happy to be here again.

I have been reading the thread and recognise alot of what has been said about upbringing and family relationships. to everyone for their stories and insights.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and peaceful day.

Morning all. 5th sober weekend, done. Had a serious wobble yesterday as we went out for lunch and I really wanted to reward myself with my usual "poison" but I avoided the drinks list and just ordered a soft drink. It wasn't easy for 10 minutes but tbh it was probably for the best. I knew if I had one glass it would turn into another and then when everyone had pudding I'd probably have a cocktail instead ... and I'd spend the rest of the afternoon either falling asleep or going on a booze hunt so ... I think if we had gone out for an evening meal however I would have found it incredibly hard to say no.

I've really not found the past week easy in terms of feeling the feelings (it's shit) and I am really finding it hard to see any significant benefits yet. Maybe there are smaller ones but after 32 days AF I'd really hoped for more. It's quite deflating (unlike me who hasn't lost an ounce).

Hope you're okay @SpringNotSprung , thinking of you.

How's everyone doing?

All fine here. Checking in following another sober weekend and on day 43. Feeling good. Haven’t had a major test but I had an extremely busy Saturday and it was a long day. I would typically have sunk a big glass of wine or 5 on returning home but resisted and had a 0% wine instead. I was planning to laze around all day Sunday after such a long day but actually I started cleaning the house and doing jobs. I really felt the difference in my energy levels. My weight loss has stalled however, despite the low carbing, fasting and - according to my Try Dry app - at least 14,000 calories saved!

Well done on resisting at lunch @Steppered - a cocktail instead of pudding is definitely what the old me would have had (following the best part of a bottle of wine) and I would have slept it all off and then topped myself up with wine in the evening!

@NewLifeHappyLife - good to have you back and glad you resisted the theme park!

hope everyone else is ok including those who recently joined!

Best wishes to @SpringNotSprung . Hope to see you back in the future. I've luckily only been on mumsnet for these AF threads, so avoiding any of the other filth.

@NewLifeHappyLife well done on picking yourself back up and getting back on the wagon and @Steppered well done on resisting temptation.

@BoilingHotand50something I have somehow gained weight!! Deapite saving thousands of calories apparently.

I'm having my first real test right now where I am wanting a drink for no apparent reason. I have had to change up my soft drink game and trying something different while the cravings wash over me. Should be able to outlast them. I also have a big test tomorrow. Dinner with people I don't know. I'm wondering about cancelling.....

I hear people on these threads talk about how it's not just NOT drinking and it's also about doing the work on yourself, and that's definitely something I'm going to have to start doing.

I think my craving is coming from a place about stress of tomorrow. If I were to analyse it. How crazy is that?

Not crazy at all. You feel nervous - guess what has helped your nerves in the past? That's right, booze! It is a sedative so is an effective way to numb those uncomfortable feelings. Effective in the hour, but not in the long run unfortunately.

Maybe ask yourself why you are nervous for tomorrow night? And then see how you can make it feel better. If you have to cancel to prioritise your sobriety then so be it.

If you can give yourself a pep talk, tell yourself you are good enough, pick out a nice outfit that makes you feel good, plan your AF drink ahead, have some ready ideas of what to talk to people about then ... go have a good night!

Hi everyone just checking in. Well done with resisting, it’s very hard. Had some trauma over the weekend - long story. My head said it’s ok let’s have one drink, then I thought I’ll come on here and get support (as it’s an amazing lovely thread) and then get back to being AF. But no, didn’t do it. I have zero will power when it comes to scrolling and eating though so boo to those things! Just glad I didn’t crack. Wondering how a life with AF is going to pan out…. I liked a drink to calm the nerves too but I guess I need to explore myself and why I feel this way hey?!

The book I’m reading talks about how the brain has been trained to use alcohol as a crutch so often that it stops creating the natural response to stress.
I’m about half way through the book and it’s starting to irritate me 😂 massive overuse of the word ‘imbibe’. Never heard it before reading this book and it’s on almost every page.
There’s a woman who lives near me in a bed sit. She’s very clearly an alcoholic. Apart from drinking on the pavement outside the entrance to the block, she’s super skinny. She wears hardly any clothes and looks like she hasn’t washed for quite some time. I really, really feel for her. I hate walking past but at the same time when she’s not out I’m worried she’s died. I guess she is the stereotype.
When I’m tempted I think of her and wonder how she ended up there and what her story is.

Sorry to hear about your weekend @Cloudsclouds6 and for the people struggling. I go through these periods of Sunday-Friday being ok and then a bit miserable in the evenings at the weekend.
I will be drinking this Thursday. I don’t know if planning it in advance makes it better?! But it’s an evening out I don’t want to sit through watching everyone else drink and I’ve decided rather then spend energy agonising over it and then feeling like a huge failure.
I joined this thread 55 days ago and I never thought I would still be here chipping away. I’m at peace with drinking a couple of times over that period.

I think seeing the very bad end of the scale is quite salutary in many ways and when I think of it - or anywhere along the line actually - I genuinely don’t want to face a hangover. I think it’s amazing what we put up with when the same feeling in any other circumstance would have us scurrying for the doctor (or dr Google, anyway).

I have 3 events this week and the last one will be a real toughy. I don’t think I have your strength @MamaGhina to get off the wagon and then on again. It’s sort of helpful in some ways for me to think that because it keeps me from attempting, and then failing, the moderation route. But I hope you enjoy your evening!

I don’t have your strength either @MamaGhina but I think your approach is working.

It'll be day one on Thursday

Had a nightmare where I lost/forgot about my kids. Very upsetting. Don't need an expert to work that one out that choosing alcohol means I'm choosing it over my children. Was thinking about drinking tonight as per @MamaGhina where it's better if it's planned, but that nightmare has reminded me I can't actually do that. I've tried moderation countless times and all the "rules" I've given myself before and it never works. It's the wine witch arguing with me that it's fine as a one off and trying to bend the truth to me and I'm stronger than that.

The worst that can happen tonight is that they think I'm boring and quiet. And that is a lot better than drinking in the long run. For me.

Hi all - the last posts really resonated with me. So lucky to have this thread

@MamaGhina thank you so much. I absolutely understand with the alcoholic lady you see. It’s really sad. My DD told me this morning that her good friend from footie training (this girl is in sixth form my DD is younger) her mum is an alcoholic. I know the mum, not well just to chat to. Girl is apparently living with her dad. Part of me thinks I wonder if that’s true or if it’s something that dad has orchestrated. The mum told me she was menopausal and having health problems, nothing about alc. She’s lovely and seems a good mum. It’s just a shocker to hear this really. Also makes me realise how important doing this is!

I’ve been sad lately, as my kids get older, thinking about what I might have missed out on or not done properly because of enjoying a drink in the evenings. But then I know I’ve done tonnes for them and overcome a lot of rubbish times too. I suppose what matters is now. Also cringe at the thought that I’ve tucked the kids in with wine breath 🫣 sorry tmi but it’s just how I’m thinking right now.

@excitedemmi I think your dream is definitely a sign of how you’re feeling. Do you think it’s the minds way of reminding us what we want to achieve and stopping us from behaving in a certain way - brain giving itself a little reminder?!! Have had so many dreams too recently and they all have such meaning….

@TimesaChangeling I hope your events go well without alcohol 🤞 thinking of you.

take care everyone

How are you @Thepeppapigfanclub? I worry when you haven’t posted for a little while.

Thank you for the posts ladies. I think with me total sobriety isn’t a realistic goal and probably never has been. I’ve spent so much of my life beating myself up that I feel like I’ve turned a bit of a corner accepting that I’m human. I don’t always get it right. What’s changed for me is that before, if I was trying to abstain and I had even one drink, that would be it. I’d give up. And then drown my sorrows. And be even worse than before. This time I feel different. Possibly stronger. A bit like, I can allow myself a night off if I get straight back to trying to be dry most of the time. I don’t want to tempt fate but I do feel like I’ve broken the drinking every weekend cycle. I’ve drank one night over 8 weeks. That’s a massive achievement and I wonder if by never acknowledging the positive steps I was taking before this was somewhat of a self fulfilling prophecy.