It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Thank you for that @TimesaChangeling. Well done or getting through another event! I wonder if it will be more common for people not to drink in the future...

Good luck for tonight @NewLifeHappyLife. Let us know how you get on!

Have a great day everyone!

@Thepeppapigfanclub I just wanted to say well done. I've just read through all your posts and you are being so supportive of everyone. If you are ever weakening read through your own posts!

I'm on day 19 of a September reset (started early!). I'm feeling much better, sleeping better and generally happier. So far only lost 1lb.

I am definitely going to moderate once the month is over. My difficulty is Dh, who has stopped with me for the month. We do this each year and then it creeps back up. We open a bottle of wine because it is Friday not necessarily because we want a drink, then it's Saturday lunchtime or Wednesday evening (because it's winesday). It's not all his fault but it is easier to abstain if someone isn't drinking next to you.

I'm going to try. I've managed a couple of social events without a problem. It is interesting watching others change as they have a drink or two. I don't normally notice.

I also was thinking about drinking a lot yesterday. I was confident I wouldn’t as it wasn’t usual for me to drink on a Wednesday but it was in my thoughts. I’ve bought a copy of alcohol explained so might try reading that this weekend.

Day 25 today but it feels like longer to me. I’m trying an exercise class tonight as Thursday nights are difficult. I don’t work Fridays so Thursday would always be that start of the weekend, signified by a bottle of something.

Getting out of the house instead will do me good. I’ve been trying to head out for a run jog in the evenings to tick that exercise box and get me through the tricky evenings but it’s so dark! I’ve been taking a torch but last night there was a group of lads in the car park, chatting and smoking. The torch obviously makes it’s really apparent where I am in the park and the fact I’m alone. I felt a little unnerved by them.

@Thepeppapigfanclub I can't tell how much it made me laugh (not in a bad way) to think of asking my SIL to bring what she wanted to drink. She would be utterly perplexed by this idea! It's the norm on my side of the family to bring with you drinks of choice but not on DHs. It's not that she would expect it to be provided as she would happily fall in with what we are having. It's more my expectations of myself as a host. I can offer her a gin and tonic easily enough and I rather suspect she will be happy to drink whatever we are drinking although I really only drink coffee, tea or water now.

I DID IT!!!!!

My difficult situation- boozy girls lunch and I got through. Not even all that tempted - especially when people started repeating themselves. I was questioned as to why and just said I was wanting to lose weight and was going for zero calorie drinks for a bit.

Now i am home, changed and ready to cook the DCs favourite pasta dish for their dinner.

I am SO proud of myself!!

Evening all.

That is absolutely BRILLIANT @NewLifeHappyLife. You should be really proud of yourself! You are an inspiration - it can be done! And it should start getting easier after the first time?

Glad you are doing well @MamaGhina and it isn't just me still thinking about the wine. I know what you mean about it getting dark/safety issues. I still haven't lost a pound and need to start moving more but it is getting darker much earlier now. Day 25... we've nearly done a month before 'Go Sober' even begins.

@Frenchfancy Thank you so much for the kind words. It sounds like you've got it all in hand but we all know about what you mean with the wine creeping up again.

I've got a fishbowl here of AF pink gin and tonic and raising a glass to you all.

@NewLifeHappyLife amazing! Well done.

Well done @NewLifeHappyLife !
I’m feeling incredibly weak. Almost like it’s inevitable that I’m going to drink soon. I’ve been thinking a lot about having a drink and I know there are a lot of opportunities in the next couple of weeks. Maybe it’s because I’m coming up to the month mark. I keep trying to convince myself that I’ve done enough now. I’m alright now.

@MamaGhina I believe there is something psychological about milestones - apparently lots of people struggle around them because having to continue past them brings the rest of your life to the right here and now - which is hard. But the result is almost always the same, you’ll end up right back where you started. Tho I am not one to preach, I have no real idea of how long I am going for but content to know it is not yet. Hope it settles down for you.

Oh and well done @NewLifeHappyLife thar’s amazing work!

Thanks @TimesaChangeling, I’ve done 6 weeks for dry Jan 2 years in a row and always break on Valentine’s Day. And absolutely agree, it’s a slow decline back to the beginning.
I wonder if it’s that drinking feels so long ago now and thus the shitty feelings are a thing of the past.
It’s also that feeling of missing out at social events. This Saturday I’m going to a party that I would usually have a few glasses at. There’s no pressure to drink but I will feel a bit flat while everyone else partakes. I guess this is the thing. I know I can do it. But do I want to? I think the answer is still yes but there’s this voice telling me I’ve done enough. And the voice says Saturday will be pretty rubbish without wine 😭

Welllll back to Day 2 for me, I am not massively surprised as I had a global conference in Milan this week which is typically very boozy. I would love to say I got through it sober but that's not the case: too much too soon, socializing on that scale in the early days. Having said that, I certainly didn't go wild and am pleased on that score, because I have had some very messy nights in the past.

Now's the time though to strap in and commit. No more excuses, no events coming up, I am actually really ready and wanting to do this. 100 days, let's go.

I can talk the talk, per earlier in the thread, now I need to walk the walk.

Oh gosh. I feel very strong at home but I suspect it would be a different story if I went out.

Sorry pressed send too soon. Don’t feel too bad @Steppered great that you didn’t go overboard and feel stronger than ever.

How is everyone feeling about the Friday night fear??

Here we are (again)at the worst witching hour of the week.

Well done for not going overboard @Steppered There's absolutely no way I'd be able to remain AF at a global conference in Milan either. Fortunately or unfortunately though - depending on how you look at it, my life just isn't that glamourous. 😂

I'm hearing you @MamaGhina . Once you've had a bit of distance it's easy to start romancing the wine again - it starts looking more seductive. It's easy to forget the reasons you gave it up in the first place and you start bargaining with yourself with the 'one bottle won't hurt'. We all know how that story goes though. It's easy to forget how quickly the decline back into the pit of doom happens.

I'm feeling pretty bored tonight. There's no denying the wine has left a gap and I don't really feel like there's anything to mark that it's the weekend. I haven't got into a new Friday routine and it's going to take time. It's not made easier by the fact that I can't socialise until I've done 100 days (minimum) as I can't be trusted.

It will be worth it in the morning.

Hope you are all doing well.

A friend convinced me to go to Zumba with her last night. I was one of the oldest (and fattest) there, but as it started at 8:45 it was a good way to fill an evening. By the time I was back and showered it was time for bed.

I'm not sure I actually enjoyed it, but I need to get fit and if I'm at Zumba I'm not on the sofa drinking wine.

evening all- I am definitely feeling jumpy and triggered tonight. I think after my success yesterday it's like my mind is saying 'you've got this. You are making too big a deal of this no-alcohol thing. You can drink like other people now... '. I am squishing this voice down with a very great deal of fizzy water and lemon juice. I agree with @Thepeppapigfanclub that we all know how this story would end if I succumbed.

@Steppered if you managed to drink relatively moderately in Milan under those circumstances then that is really great! Progress not perfection and welcome back.

Zumba! That sounds great! I am looking at evening things to do that involve driving. Have booked tickets to our local Am dram society theatre production for early October.

I tried to weigh in today but the batteries are flat in my scale and it was changing every few seconds to 12 stone 12 (boo) to 11 stone 6 (yay!) then 13 stone 1 (boo) to 12 stone 3 (yay!) to then I realised that the device was probably not to be trusted.

We will all feel GREAT tomorrow. ❤

@NewLifeHappyLife Go with the lowest! 😂

I really am crap at organising anything advance - probably because my plans for the last 3 decades have been 'drink some wine'.

Tomorrow is the time for making a plan to start actually living rather than just staring it out.

I'm trying to focus on all those people waving us on from the other side. If we stick with this, it has to get easier and better. We're all doing so well. You've all helped me so much. Sincerely - Thank you.

Well done everyone on your Friday evenings so far. Luckily (well not really but at least it has got me through the witching hour) I have only just finished work and a Becks Blue is doing the job. Let’s all channel feeling bright and breezy in the morning.

it's like my mind is saying 'you've got this. You are making too big a deal of this no-alcohol thing. You can drink like other people now... '
@NewLifeHappyLife this is also where my head is at.
I haven’t drank anything tonight and I will be happy/feel good about this tomorrow. Right now though I just feel a bit down. Like why can’t I drink like normal people 😭
Tomorrow will be tough. I want to join in with my friends and I don’t want to be a party pooper 🤣 it all sounds so childish doesn’t it.

I'm going to confess that I have had some wine this evening. We managed to drink one bottle of red wine between three of us which is pretty moderate. I enjoyed the glasses I had and drank loads of water too. I probably won't drink any more now for a while. I hope you have all had a lovely Friday.

Morning all.

Hope you all had a great sleep.

@ApolloandDaphne - One bottle between three is very, very, very moderate! Progress not perfection?

@MamaGhina The big day... There's no way I could socialise and not drink at the minute but to be fair, I was drinking a lot, lot more than you were. Have you thought about just having some drinks if the thought of not is making you really miserable? Some people can make moderation work - I'm not one of them unfortunately. How will you feel tomorrow if you drink tonight and would that change what you are aiming for? Might it be more fun, even without a drink, than you think it will be? If you decide not to drink, could you plan something for the tomorrow morning what you wouldn't normally do?

I hope you all have a great day.

I had the most awful nightmare last night. It was so real and I was screaming at my DD, calling her names, hitting her, kicking her. It was so awful, I’ve woken up feeling upset. I wonder if it came about because of the bad mood I was in yesterday or because I ate a donut, a bowl of popcorn and a bag of sweets in the evening 😔 I’m in this state of ‘if I can’t have alcohol I’ll have everything else’. Or “treat” myself to food. It’s just the same coping mechanism but different substance. I’m annoyed at myself because before this week I’ve been doing so well.

The nightmare has shaken the thought of drinking today out of my head. I need to be sorting myself out not drinking because of FOMO. Or fear of being the boring one. I won’t drink today, I’m certain of that. If I feel shit I’ll make an excuse and come home. It maybe is too soon to be doing something like this today. I’m still not even ready to be honest with people about why I need to take a break from alcohol. I know these friends would understand but it puts a real downer on the day, doesn’t it. So I’ll say I’ve got to drive later or make up another neutral excuse and try really hard to enjoy their company without the usual wine accompaniment.

It's absolutely none of my business what you decide to do, but for what it's worth @MamaGhina, I think you're making the right decisions and I think you'll be glad tomorrow. It will be 4 weeks for us on Monday!!!

Sorry to hear about your jarring nightmare. The dreams are still trippy here too. I had one the other night and it lingered with me all day. I hope you're ok.

I'm completely okay with my decision to have a little wine last night. It was very nice but I'm happy to not have any more for a while. The next thing will be my DHs 60th in October.