It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Oh and agree about the glamorisation. When I see those ads now I tell myself ‘they are purveyors of poison’ and hope that will change my brain response over time! 😝

Evening all!

Here we ago again with a new week. Thank you so much for sharing that with us @SpringNotSprung. I am really glad to hear your news - you mut have been very worried. I also really hope that you bought the handbag. It would be great if you kept us posted with how you are going -especially as when you get to 100 days the 'purveyors of poison' (absolutely bravo @NewLifeHappyLife 😂) will be laying it on thick with the Christmas advertising... pink sparkly dresses and bubbles galore!

The thought of Christmas without a glass (bottle) of Bailey's sounds sad - BUT hopefully by then we'll all have a bit more experience under our belt and will have the strategies and wisdom not to chuck all the good stuff away for the sake of one drink - and if I have one it's back to the beginning for me. Still, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I can't say I'm missing the endless internal chatter and berating myself for being weak willed and an addict. I'm not missing the tragic run to the corner shop for the second bottle. I'm missing worrying about breathing near people at work. My bed is still my happy place.

I hope everyone is finding it easier and has a great week ahead.

*NOT missing worrying about breathing on people at work.

Sadly I didn't buy the handbag despite looking at everything in Coach and Kate Spade. A couple were nice, but not full price nice. The selection in Liberty's was equally underwhelming.

I went wow at a woollen cross between a wrap and a coatigan in Liberty. Eks something I think. It was utterly beautiful and hung perfectly. I'd have bought it but for one little issue - £1,695. At least I know I have good taste .

Splashed out on a packet of plasters at Victoria because I walked 15k steps and had blisters!

Just had a well deserved Becks Blue!

Evening all! Glad everyone has had a good weekend and feeling positive!

Today wasn’t as bad as I feared and so I rounded it all off with a bit of exercise so now I am feeling all endorphiny 😁 but knackered.

I am on holiday soon (and not a boozy one) so I’d like to do that and then keep going I hope until Christmas but I hear you @Thepeppapigfanclub about not getting too far ahead. Just each day is counting enormously but I am feeling far fitter and healthier than I did.

I am trying not to think about my poor liver at the moment but I am hoping it’s feeling slightly more cheerful than it did. I sort of have in mind those Hayley Morris reels, if anyone has seen them. Tho perhaps that is making too light of it.

2 weeks into 36 and I want this to be my healthiest year yet. Need some accountability and wine is a big downfall of mine. I drank a bottle last night, on a Monday. If I don't stop now I'm never going to!

Love the sound of the coatigan @SpringNotSprung but yikes the price tag! Mind you with all the money you are saving being alcohol free.......

So glad that things were not as bad as you feared @TimesaChangeling That is great. Day 5 here. My first goal which i have logged into the Try Dry app is 11 days. I'm taking it bit by bit. I was at the GP yesterday and said i had given up drinking. But I am having some investigations for various issues so am hopeful that this change will mean that my body has a fighting chance to heal.

So glad to hear your news @SpringNotSprung - had a mad day yesterday but was thinking of you.

Your timing is great because my initial weight loss has stalled but I need to remember this is about more than being thinner and your experience is very sobering. Literally!

I know what others mean about alcohol stealing their weekends and evenings. I am definitely more productive.

@36ismyyear start today! You can do it. I never thought I could get through a weekend but I am on day 9 and actually didn’t come close to breaking. Had some temptation too - like needing to run to the shop at the last minute for dinner ingredients and DH boozing. But I did it. I have surprised myself - which is a good feeling.

Good evening all, well done all those resisting and welcome @36ismyyear- ive felt very supported on here💖

major trigger this evening as my DS was v rude to me this evening in the car (after id made a round trip of 1.5 hr to get him from school and take to a club) it was about the food id brought him - didn’t like it - complaining etc - and then being rude to others in the car. I know he’s a child and only learning but I was proper fed up and just don’t want to be having to do it every week to be treated so rudely. I also reacted badly and told him so! So of course I am now thinking wine and Netflix for some numbing. But know it wont work. I’m the adult. Plus we left on a bad note so know he’ll feel bad about it. But he can’t just come home and have a glass of wine/beer as he’s a child so I’m just going to have to sit this one out and stop trying to make excuses and numb everything out with alcohol. Gosh it’s hard…. 😏

Sorry I meant that he has to deal with the feelings of the argument/confrontation so why should I be able to come home and numb it with alc?! I need to face it and change things. Just feel like I don’t want to have to deal with bad behaviour and I don’t have as much patience atm 😒

Good evening all! Hope you've all had a good day.

Welcome @36ismyyear! Wishing you every success and I can't speak for anyone else, but coming on here for a bit of accountability has helped me a lot.

Sorry it's been a testing day @Cloudsclouds6. It's really hard when your 'go to' for stress is the wine isn't it? I had a bit of a stressful thing yesterday and although I knew I wasn't going to drink - it's the first 'solution' that came to mind. It's no wonder your patience is a bit thin on the ground either. You're doing brilliantly and you didn't crack!

I don't know about anyone else, but my first thought every morning is - 'thank God I didn't drink last night. The mornings make it all worth it.

It's day 23 here but it's going to take me a lot longer than a month to put all this right. So far I have 'saved' £225 - or would have done if I hadn't spent most of it on treats. 😂

Checking in! Can’t stop eating here today. I’m going to have to go to bed to stop myself eating 😂no alcohol though so all good here!

Morning all- I hope you evening got better @Cloudsclouds6 You were right to be very clear that you were not to be treated rudely after going out of your way to take your DS to after school clubs. I hope things got better. One of mine is going through a rude and defiant phase and it definitely winds me up.

Day 6 for me. I am sleeping through until 4 ish now which is such an improvement And then getting back to sleep until 6. My stomach seems less bloated also which is a great improvement. I will weigh in on Friday and hope to see some downwards movement.

We were out last night at a pub for a friend's birthday. I had a good meal and two pints of lemonade and did not feel overly tempted. Things were starting to get a bit messy when we left early ish and we got home; I changed the bedclothes for the family and put a load of washing on then watched a couple of episodes of Benidorm (which I have JUST discovered- how did I miss this!!) then bed. @Thepeppapigfanclub is right- every morning I feel so delighted I did not drink last night. 😀

I hope everyone has a great day.

Hey everyone! Day 10 for me - whoop! Feels like a mini milestone!

I also had a testing day @Cloudsclouds6 - both work and defiant kids! I snapped a bit which I was disappointed about but I did put it right. I found myself crazing a 0% beer which is slightly odd and I can’t decide if that is good or bad! But no alcohol which I would definitely have turned to after that kind of day normally.

I am another pound down and I am enjoying waking up at 6 and feeling ok.

Well done on day 23 @Thepeppapigfanclub

how are you @36ismyyear ?

hope everyone has a good day.

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling exhausted but my little ones have been very poorly and as always it seems to be worse at night. Day 2 now for me. Can't wait to look in the mirror and recognise myself again 💔

Good morning everyone. Well done on getting to day 2 @36ismyyear. Every day counts.

I had a small win yesterday. A nurse called me to go over health stuff in advance of a minor procedure i am having next week. She asked me how many units of alcohol i was drinking weekly at the the moment and i was able to answer, completely honestly, that i was consuming no units of alcohol each week at the moment. I don't think i have ever answered that question honestly and it felt so good.

I did have an issue this evening when i returned form my evening class which has just restarted after the summer. I usually have a glass of wine to unwind and calm my mind because i am always buzzing. As a result i could not get to sleep. A cup of tea just didn't cut it. Does anyone have any tips for making my brain switch off without alcohol?

I hope you have a great day everyone. My choir restarts today and I can't wait. It is the best thing for making me feel really positive and upbeat.

@ApolloandDaphne how about a mindfulness app? I used a hypnotherapy audio that I bought to kickstart my sober journey and that leaves you incredibly relaxed so maybe something like that? Or a nice Ovaltine - my new evening tipple! Lol

I've been following on, congratulating you (and me!) all on your victories. Wanted to let you know I've found a podcast that's really, really helpful. It's called 90 Days Later. Covers loads of stuff that's useful. I was learning yesterday about what to do when my mind says "one more won't hurt"!! Sound familiar?

Good luck all.

Hey all! Well done everyone on here - one more day under the belt!

@Thepeppapigfanclub yes definitely testing when the go to is a glass of wine/beer for its stress busting properties. That’s also a massive saving you have made - more than £200 - and you definitely deserve a treat for all the hard work and effort?!

@NewLifeHappyLife and @BoilingHotand50something Thank you also for support re my DS and sorry to hear going through same with yours. Don’t be hard on yourself for snapping at the children/teenagers. It’s so unspoken how we are all expected to be such perfect parents these days who say and do everything correctly despite our own struggles. It’s been a testing summer, the weathers been incredibly dull and I’m pretty sure many of us haven’t had the chance to go on a proper holiday. As women we do end up feeling incredible quilt when it comes to our families - I really do.

@ApolloandDaphne I found Reading a book/watching Netflix until eyes my eyes got droopy helped the last time I went af - it took a few months but I was then able to sleep better as time went on - exercising loads during the day to tire myself out also helped but hard to do in practice with all the jobs etc …

keep going all 💖

I agree @Cloudsclouds6 about mum guilt. I certainly do. I run myself ragged trying to be everything and to perform as mum, wife, daughter, employee, friend to perfection. It's exhausting!

Another day for me! Tomorrow I have my difficult situation. I have decided to just ask for something soft and if anyone queries it to say that I want to lose some weight so am having no-calorie drinks for a bit.

Hope everyone has a lovely evening.

Hope you're all doing well. Another day sober.

I won't lie - I found today really, really hard. The hardest yet. I started thinking about wine when I was at work - really strong craving. There was absolutely no reason - no trigger at all.

I bought myself a bottle of AF wine on the way home and have had half of that. It feels like a failure because I know this is a crutch as well. That - and sweet stuff. 😯

Still - didn't drink the real stuff. I guess. I'm pig sick of thinking about it and dreaming about it. 😂The only way to freedom is to carry on but it's so hard sometimes.
I'm sure this will pass and will feel more upbeat tomorrow.

I'm glad you're all prepared for tomorrow @NewLifeHappyLife.

@Thepeppapigfanclub I am a very big believer that you do whatever it takes to get you through. If that means an AF drink then that is more than fine. The first time I went sober for a very extended period of time i relied on AF drinks big time. It was not drinking, and so it was fine. So please don't beat yourself up. You were triggered, you dealt with it. That is a win. 🏅

I e been absolute fine so far but I am in a conundrum about this weekend. DHs sister is coming to stay from Friday to Tuesday. Normally we would offer a G&T or a beer or some wine with dinner. We are well known for our hospitality. Will it seem mean to not offer these things? She isn't at all a big drinker and will probably go with the flow but she will definitely think it is a bit odd to be offered nothing. We plan to just say we are doing a September reset so she doesn't ask too many questions. I'm probably over thinking this.

Thanks so much @NewLifeHappyLife. I appreciate that. Being disappointed in myself for having an AF drink on a Wednesday given where I started from is just irrational. 😂

OOo @ApolloandDaphne. Glad it's going well. That is a bit of of a dilemma... Could you let her know about your 'reset' before she arrives and tell her that she is most welcome to bring whatever she would like to drink/ or buy whatever in for her? Would it bother you if she was drinking but you were not?

@Thepeppapigfanclub DO NOT feel remotely bad for having an AF wine! It’s not even wine! And congratulate yourself on getting through the craving. It is really really hard when that’s all you want so you should be really chuffed with yourself. The craving was likely to turn up sooner or later and you did it.

I have made it through another work do clutching my water as was, in fact the senior person I was chatting to who apologised to her fellow water bearer for possibly being boring (we actually had a lovely conversation).