The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. Many thanks to @wendywagon for holding the reins on the last thread, and to drybird for starting the original thread about 3 years ago.
We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. There’s support here whatever your stage on that journey. Whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size, and have all been there too when things get challenging.
Thank you too @rep22 @onewildandpreciouslife for offering to back up host too. I thought there was someone else but I can’t find the post.

I am joining this thread.

Five months sober today.

This is following years of habitual drinking - university /work drinks / bottle a night breaks for pregnancies only … few major traumas along the way in recent years lead to heavy, problem drinking.

I began to have extreme health concerns and anxiety and managed to put my foot through the door of a local substance/alcohol misuse service, through their guidance and support I have finally ditched the drink.

Extremely proud and happy it’s out of my life; I know it’s something I’ll always have to be aware of and work on.

I’m here to support and find support, I honestly thought id never be able to be sober, so please know if I can do it, so can you.

Evening all. 🚨
I have been manic today. Daughter went back early to university. DH a bit better today health wise. DS returned to London for the week leave piles of rubbish from the wall he removed. Tbh there is stuff everywhere and it has upset me. No drink though which is good. I didn't even think about it until writing this.
I will catch up with the thread tomorrow. Keep going my sober sisters.

to @threeandmeandthedog and @WendyWagon . I hope you're both OK.

Hello and welcome @Exisonfire , congratulations on your 5 months AF!

Morning all, poorly Wendy here.
I have the husband's bug. I fainted last night and fell over the dog 🐶. I was not a pretty sight. I was fine, then I wasn't. A nasty business.

No girls day out for me. I have had the meds but I am staying in my lair. I have two new magazines! The dog is with me.
I bought Cordino AF Sunday, Sainsbury. I will see later in the week if it suits. All I fancy is sausages and mash.
Welcome to @Exisonfire

I hope you feel better soon @WendyWagon. Take it easy and enjoy your sausage and mash when you feel up to it

Get well soon WW

Feeling loads better today as I am back to work and kids are with grandparents so I can at least work in peace.

Have the joy of applying to secondary school for DC1 when they go back - sad as I know we won't get into where his friends are going (tiny catchment area) and we really will need to look at all the schools available to us as some of them are massive no-no's. It means a full on September already as lots of open days & evenings and banding tests as well as work / school / clubs / life.

I also need to get on with my health kick that I was meant to start once I was a year AF (I am now 18 months!!)

I hope everyone is feeling ok. Get well soon @WendyWagon

I've just put the recycling out for the first time in a couple of weeks. Looking forward to the glass box being almost empty next week!

Has anyone heard of Milk Thistle and tried it? Meant to be good for the liver!

Congratulations on your 18 months @Crunchymum - a significant milestone!

Thanks for the welcomes 😀

I too have the DC back to school next week, can’t lie I’m looking forward to that, though it’s getting easier as they get older, it’s been a long six weeks !

I’m so glad I have more energy to do stuff with them now I’m sober. They are good kids and thankfully the booze wasn’t a problem in their very young years, I had a s* spell of it during and after the pandemic (Life events before) But I’m glad to have realised enough was bloody enough.

Im very lucky in that I don’t struggle with cravings per se, but I do experience guilt from my drinking in the past 😨

To the poster asking about Milk Thistle - yes I have also heard good things…

I personally take a high strength B vitamin since being sober I find it helps with energy and mood.

xx

Morning all.
Still in bed but woo hoo. I got the big job!

Congratulations @WendyWagon !!!

You are The Big Cheese!!!

@rothbury I suspect non drinking company for religious reasons. That will be good. No office bar.
I will need to get my togs ready, have the hair cut again a la Sharon Stone and jump to it.

Excellent news - well done you!

Congratulations Wendy that's brilliant news!

Yayyy! Top stuff @WendyWagon . Hope you're on the mend soon. xx

Love to all x

Well done you!
I'm super pleased for you. Life’s been full on for you i know and this is great news x

Thank you all.
I have been home too long. Last year was super difficult and the collapse of the company purchase was causing me huge distress. I felt a total idiot to have been taken in by the seller. Luckily I havent been out much due to my health. No corner shop jaunts. Sober and slimmer.

Bloody excellent news @WendyWagon

Hello all. Had a very tricky moment the other night. Bank holiday weekend with no plans is a terrible thing for me. I did not succumb.

If I can be vain for a mo, I have not lost weight, but my eyes are sparkly and I look younger I think!

I'm going to try to be a bit more present on the thread. I have some busy months ahead. My lovely ds is off to uni. He is very ambitious and I will mither over him burning himself out.

Also dgc due this Christmas and dd does not have a home yet. I think they'll try to avoid coming here.

Good morning mes aimies.
I am feeling a bit better.
I am downstairs enjoying my Yorkshire tea.
I didn't think about the booze once whilst poorly so hopefully the urge for celebration champers has passed!
I did actually pray last week before my interview (I am a God botherer, I know lots on this thread aren't, each to their own). We had a wonderful early marriage with lots of travel and huge success in my career then we had a decade of absolute poop. We lived in rentals with mad landlords who were racist and didn't really want us there. Their behaviour has given me a form of PTSD I believe. The only way I coped was with the wine. If you can't see the emails they don't hurt you!
When I was stalked I finally got some help from the Suzie Lamplugh trust. I will always be grateful for that. My AF journey started a few months after that.
My new employer is an overseas conglomerate. There will be cultural differences. However my family have a long association with the country in question so I hope to use that advantage wisely. I am never good not working, I have a devil on my shoulder and we all need the money these days. Thankfully a new chapter begins.

Congratulations @WendyWagon! I'm really pleased for you.

Hi all. Checking in. Glad you're looking and feeling better @sstilldumdedumming and congrats on the new job and everything else @WendyWagon .

I can't believe I've done a whole month AF. I started on the 1st August and have made it to today. It's been hard at times but easier at others. Am very much doing the 'play it forward' thing - how will I feel tomorrow if I drink today? I've fantasised about drinks. I've had lots of social plans and plans alone where I would usually love to sneak in some day drinking.

What I'm really struggling with is anxiety. I'm crying lots. I'm deeply unhappy with my partner and my life.

I haven't mentioned this before but we've done 4 rounds of fertility treatment and it hasn't worked and we can't agree how to move forward if at all. I think the drinking has been numbing/hiding what I really feel and now all the feelings are there in technicolour.

I was sober for chunks throughout this Fertility treatment (obviously) but in between rounds and after it was getting worse and worse.

I am full of anger and resentment and struggling to think of anything good between me and DP now. The urge to blow up my life is strong.

I think I need to confide in a friend because I feel like I'm going mad. I had to practically walk in the road yesterday walking over the Thames because I was scared some weird force was going to drag me to the side and make me jump off the bridge.

So yes. One month sober but feeling pretty bad.

Sorry, that was long

I am so sorry to read about your unsuccessful fertility treatment @drinktilisink . That must be so difficult for you and your dp. You're doing so well not drinking. All I can say is that none of this would be improved by a hangover. Is there anyone you can talk to about your feelings? As well as on here, obviously, if you want to. X

firstly @WendyWagon well done on the job, i look forward to hearing all about it.

@drinktilisink well done on the month sober. It is a big achievement, the first of the BIG milestones and possible the hardest won, so stick with it and don't feel tempted to do it again! You sound like the feels are all a bit much and i think many of us can relate to some degree that the numbing power of the booze has helped us not to face trauma and distress, and then when we stop drinking we need to sit and feel the feelings and this is very, very, uncomfortable.

I for one felt that my emotional maturity probably stopped around 16 which was when the drinking for and to resolve emotional pain began. I am 18 months sober and in my mid 40s, believe me the wider family can still bring that emotional pain in to sharp and unrelenting focus. BUT it is easier to step back and see the position on the road, that it is just a feeling, that it will pass and that letting it wash over me is a good thing because like the dragon/challenge/monster at the end of a computer game level, every time i reach it, i get a bit better at dealing with it and one day i will pass through with barely a nod to the emotions which used to floor me...

also therapy helps and should be a stable option alongside sobriety xxx

@Fortheloveofgodwhy @Blackberryblossom thank you for your kindness. I had a therapist for a few years just before COVID but stopped seeing her when DP and I did couples counselling. I should give her a call and go back. Or try a new one. I think work has a thing where you can have six therapy sessions. Maybe I'll try that. X