On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@enoughisenough4 I am half way through the Naked Mind - how are you finding it? I am also watching Tik Tok videos on how to abstain from various people including psychologists x

@Mummykins54 one step at a time. One day at a time. You are already making progress by doing something and talking about it. Rome wasn't built in a day, so staying AF can't be a quick fix either.

Don't beat yourself up too badly.
@enoughisenough4 I think I've got the Naked Mind too, will have to have a look.
Give the WW a good vacuuming too. That will teach her.
Take care and enjoy the summer evening

@Amdone123 @Starlia The hardest thing is the motivation when you are used to coming home via the wine shop. I love a jacuzzi but have never been once. Paying a membership for something I have never used.

Re the bank balance - wine is so expensive when I look in my bottle bin I see oh that could have been an overnight away on my own to a nice hotel etc - its soul destroying

Hello All. Am doing ok here, far more AF days than drinking ones, also I seem to be getting into a 'moderating mind'. I honestly think that that last binge that bought me here has had quite a profound effect on me. The hangover is long gone but the memory of it is very fresh. I never ever want to feel like that again, I was so low that even the thought of taking my own life came into head, that scares the shit out me, I love life, I have no wish to hurt those I love.

Mummykins, I have also been given the same ultimatum. I love my dgs so much and need and want to be a part of his life, I want his memories of me to be the best of me that I can manage. Lets do this together!

@thebabessavedme thank you! Yes lets do it together - I am not losing my 5 month old grandson - so glad I found this thread! x

@Mummykins54 @thebabessavedme I know the arrival of my granddaughter made me evaluate my relationship with alcohol. It wasn't plain sailing. In fact, there were a few incidents when I was drunk when my ds unexpectedly turned up with her. They probably didn't stay long - I don't remember.
There was also an incident when I came home drunk and actually put her life in danger. That was a rock bottom moment and the reason I had hypnotherapy. No harm was done - in fact, my family all laugh about it, but I was mortified.

@Mummykins54 I hear you regarding buying it on your way home. It is really difficult. A few times, I've walked into the shop, looked at it, even held it and in my head, listed all the negatives of my buying it - cost, smoking - more cost, stupid texting, falling, bad sleep, hangover etcetera.
Thee exact opposite of how it's marketed !!

The first few times I did it, I felt brilliant walking away from it - really empowered. I haven't always felt like that - I sometimes feel sad !
But it can be done. It just takes practice. And I never regret it.

@Mummykins54 I am more down the line than you are, my dgs is nearly 8yo now. I was ok when he was tiny and in my care, never drank too much, was always on the ball etc. Im finding now though that because I don't have him so much, his life is so busy being taken up with school and hobbies, that I was putting drinking in front of seeing him and having fun with him. There was an incident early this year when we were all out together that I hurt him, not badly and not on purpose but I was drunk. I am so ashamed of what happened and my dd and sil were very angry and gave me the ultimatum, I have still continued to drink too much and hide away from them. This is not who I want to be, I love my family dearly and I'm determined to crack this. You love your family too, we can do this.

Well guys I’ve stayed off the vodka since my binge at the weekend. I remember thinking it tasted like petrol, so I hope to try and keep that thought at the back of my mind!

I did go out to dinner last night and had 2 lagers. I’m trying.

I meant at the front of my mind not the back! I need to keep thinking that it tastes like petrol when u have a craving.

@Mummykins54 I've only read about 5 pages but I've just got into bed with a cuppa to read a bit more.

It's weird, the night after drinking I'm not interested in wine at all. I'm not hungover so it's not that I can't face it, I just don't care for it. This evening I've finally cleaned my sofas (lol at vacuuming the WW @Nowstrong ) and now I'm perfectly content in bed with a cuppa and a book. My house is vaguely tidy because I kept on top of it rather than sitting on the sofa with my glass/bottle. I just don't understand why that feeling only last one night!

@Touty well done on the two lagers! That's brilliant! It's funny you say that about it tasting like petrol, last night I felt like my first sip was like sort of poison (I guess it kind of is 🤦‍♀️ ) of course I soon got over that though 🙄

@enoughisenough4 it definitely is poison!

Got a holiday coming up with my gf in a weeks time, still undecided on whether to have the occasional pina colada when we’re away which is tradition for me! Feel like I’m moderating ok and will be able to survive it but also well aware of the slippery slope.

For those that need to abstain around their grandchildren, I know having my kids def helps, don’t drink when I’ve got them as I’d be horrified if anything happened whilst I was drunk. I’ve been drunk around them lots before and always got away with nothing bad happening but don’t want to take the risk anymore. Now they’re getting older there’s the additional want for them not to think of their dad as a pisshead too so it’s a double strong reason not to. Combined with the fact I drink alot to self medicate my depression and when they’re around my depression always lifts (cos they’re great) it’s surprisingly easy. It’s just when it hits and Im alone that it rears it’s ugly head…

@OhShitImNearly40 it's great you're thinking about the holiday. I'd just take it one day at a time. It's hard because you don't want to be dwelling on it, but you do need to formulate a plan ! I can be the same.

@Touty well done on the 2 lagers, that's great. You've done it before, you can do it again. Incidentally, I hate the first sips of wine. Annie Grace talks about this - it's really interesting.

@enoughisenough4 well done, too, on the cleaning. I totally understand that feeling of being content without it. There are times I'm deliriously happy and I've not touched a drop. That's the irony for me. I think it will make me happy but it doesn't. Another thing I've heard a lot on threads / forums is when people abstain for however long, feel great, look better, etc, then go back to it. That's really common.

Well, I'm not counting those 2 beers so I'm on day 7.
I've been sleeping great, and feeling a lot less anxious. I was going to go to my gp to talk about hrt / menopause / symptoms but I don't have them when I'm sober.
Physician Heal Thyself in my case.

Have a great, dry day folks ❤️

@Determineddoris yes, I need to find that switch in my head again so I can do another 43 days. What detailed me was having a houseguest who was here on holiday, I know I’m making excuses but had it not been for the guest I would probably have stayed off the booze for longer. You are doing terrifically- can I ask how do you keep going during the times of temptation, do u have any quick tips? What motivates you?x

Derailed not detailed

So I have just been to the shop and bought zero alc largest for the weekend.

@enoughisenough4 yes petrol - the stuff we do to get that dopamine kick eh😏

@Amdone123 how are u doing? Have u read that Annie grace book? Is it worth buying?

@Touty I haven't read any quit lit.
I've done the Annie Grace 30 day experiment online. Really enjoyed it and there are daily lessons - I remember her talking about say, for example, as a child or even adult, you tasted whiskey and deemed it to be disgusting, yet we may have ended up drinking whiskey or any alcohol, as adults.
I love reading but can't quite read quit lit. Maybe one day.
I'm doing OK, overall, thanks. Day 7 and feeling good.
This Sunday, I'm on my own. All my family are either working or on holiday.
I've already got plans to do some cooking and have a drink. Can't decide if it's a good thing I'm thinking like this or not ( Sunday will be day 10).
Well done on stocking up on the af drinks.

@Amdone123 ok thanks I’ll look it up. Yes I think I’m doing much better this week- my mood is on a more even keel, I find that when I’m feeling down I want to drink. This evening I went for a long swim and that helped give me a bit of a buzz so I’ll have to try to keep that up.

Morning all. Yesterday was a roller coaster day for me. I had the nibbles in the afternoon. But resisted. I had friends for dinner in the evening (they were quite tasty 😉) I cooked mussels in white wine, then cheese. Which meant that I had an open bottle of cheapo white wine available in the fridge. When they left and I had done the washing-up, clearing, even though I didn't have a drink with them, I had the urge to have a drink. I ate an artichoke instead. Standing at my kitchen bar I ate a flipping artichoke (that would have been today's lunch). Dipping it in mustard and olive oil sauce at 23:00. So as not to have a glass of wine or worse.
Just how mad is that? But on the flip side I'm pretty happy with myself that I resisted the WW (can also stand for whisky witch, as I like a whisky on ice, or should I say liked?).
All this to say that it's a daily battle and sometimes not an easy one. Got no lunch ready for today now.
Back to the swimming pool this morning. The weather is turning stormy so outside swims are now counted and the pool will be closing soon.
Still mentally preparing myself for my UK stay. I would be gutted if I fall off the wagon. It's so hard to get back on again and, for me, it's the guilt that goes with it that does my head in. I find my MH in a good place at the moment and I don't want to lose that.
Onwards and upwards.
Wishing you all a great day, hoping you don't have to eat too many artichokes 💪

@Nowstrong 🤣🤣🤣
I have never eaten an artichoke !
Well done for not drinking after your guests left - and when they were there. Both tricky situations so hats off to you. I can't have it in, cheap or not.

I was thinking about your holiday. Would it help to have a drink plan, or do you not want to at all? I'm just thinking of ways to make your holiday enjoyable for you, rather than all the angst that goes with it. It's a daily challenge you're right.

Well, Friday and day 8. Challenging day for me - I have a house full on a Friday - I'm like Mary Poppins on speed.
Not only am I trying to stick to my low carb diet, I'll try not to drink when they all go home.

@Amdone123 a drink plan would be good. I would like to keep it to 1 in the evening. Am also doing low/no carb diet. My only carbs at the moment are AF beers and I'm trying to keep them down to 1 a day/every other day as well.
Also no possibility to do any sport while I'm away, which will make me lazy and unmotivated.

I will just have to tell myself that I can only do as best as I can and will climb back onboard once home.
It's funny how other people don't care if you have a drink or not but your own family (well only one person) will have a hissy fit if you don't down the poison. Might make up a health problem which would be respected. But would have to be feasible as I'm as fit a fiddle, although slightly overweight. Any ideas welcome.
Broke my swimming record this morning : managed 1km100 💪
It's extremely funny (for me) but I've just, at this instant, had the song "Onward Christian Soldiers" pop into my head. No idea where that came from.
So onwards and upwards me goes.

Enjoy your day Mary Poppins, everyone else too. Stay strong.

They've gone 🎉 - relatively well behaved until the last 5 mins when the balloon went up, as my mother would say.
We all had a walk to the shop. I deliberately left my purse at home ✅ and before picking up my granddaughter, my son asked if I wanted anything from Sainsbury's and I said no ✅
Me : 2
Wine Witch : Big Fat Zero.

Hello!

I've made it back to the thread...just got back off a 4 night holiday and I drank every night - moderated to some extent every night apart from last night and today I feel exhausted. Just put the stickers on the chart...I also had a house guest the weekend before we left so I drank on the sat before - so I've been drinking 5 out of the last 6 nights. Today that stops! I love that I have a plan to come back to otherwise that would be much harder. I feel quite rubbish now - mild heartburn, tired...healthy eating went out the window too.

I've got another two of those wall planners now! I'm using one to record my step count (rounded to nearest 1K) - been doing that for 3 weeks now (since I bought a Fitbit) but only got 3 green stickers (over 10K steps day), so progress to be made.

The third one is for my daily ZOE score. I got my results though on Wednesday and I'm going to start logging food properly tomorrow.

Keeping the alcohol under control will always be my #1 but I absolutely have to get the other areas together too - they're all related, of course. Sleep is the next hardest I think. A few deep habits to break there and some barriers to get over...

Hi @Coppergate4 sounds like you've got a plan or 2 in mind. Holiday is over and you can get back on track. You've been doing really well overall, so I wouldn't worry too much.

Day 9 here and feeling OK if a bit bored. But not bored enough to drink so that's good. I actually woke in the night and had a thought that I'm dreading the hangover that may happen soon if I 'treat ' myself on day 10. How stupid is that. I've not even drank yet and I'm dreading the hangover.
I'm going out on Wednesday so I might wait til then.

Hope everyone is doing OK?
Weather miserable here, it doesn't help. Though I'd struggle even more in the sunshine so maybe someone else is on my side.