On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

Hi, @Starlia and welcome back !

It's just so bloody depressing all round isn't ? I know exactly how you feel. I can be fed up when I'm not drinking ( bored, why me, why can't I be a normal drinker), pretty fed up when I am drinking ( first glass or 2 I'm happy ....), then the Hangover which is terrible.
I do wonder why I bother !
I am happier not drinking.

Are you counting days or do you have a plan?
I'm trying to stay af for the next 10 days. I feel quite positive, but like you said, it happens so suddenly.
I hope you're feeling better soon and your mood lifts a little. It's a depressant really isn't it, that's why we feel so low. ❤️

Thank you for your welcome Starlia, sorry you've been through a bad time. We all know how it is. We are only human.
Yes, Amdone123, a depressant and a poison.
When I'm AF I feel so much more positive and have a lot more energy. I rarely get a hangover, just feel so mentally awful.
Still swimming and still AF.

Onwards and upwards.

Sending good vibes to all

@Starlia @Amdone123 I have a hypnotherapy session booked for Thursday night with someone who has good reviews - I hope she can help me move on with my horrendous divorce and my drinking. I feel lonely as my DS and DD are no longer with me as they are older - and it is hard to adjust to coming home to an empty house so wine and Netflix become your best friendx

@Mummykins54 I'm sure you'll get some positives from the hypnotherapy. It's definitely another avenue to explore. I understand about the wine and the Netflix - it's all so easy, just the outcome's not so comfortable.
Hope your day 1 went OK?

Good evening all

@Starlia I absolutely hear you. Every time I think I’ve got this I end up having one horrendous night and feeling so cross with myself and worried about how I’ve come across to people.
I agree with everyone - it can feel
really boring being AF. I have had some lovely evenings with a bottle of wine watching Bridget Jones on my own! I don’t want to not have that again which is why I continue to try to moderate and mostly I’ve done ok since starting with this thread. I’d say I’ve had about 4 or 5 major fails and that’s been over quite a lot of months. It used to be a weekly thing and also a quiet night was one bottle of wine, now I’m AF several nights a week and often have only 1 or 2 glasses if I do drink at home so I think I’m ok with that. It’s just the socialising that I end up getting unstuck with.

Morning all.

I think falling off and then getting back on the wagon is all part of the process. It’s an uphill struggle and sometimes it’s two steps forward and one back but as long as it’s going forward after all that’s ok.

ice been good for six weeks now apart from a couple of Friday nights when I’ve binged. So I caved a few times (two steps back) but you know what, I’ll take that overall progress. Haven’t drunk at all during the week or on a Sunday and that’s the overall progress.

One of the best things? The mornings…they are just so much better now with 10x more energy. I’m feeling the benefits and they make it so much easier just to not go to the shop.

Onwards and upwards everyone!

Morning, all. Couldn't agree more with the sentiments in the previous posts.
I'm doing OK, day 5 actually - that came upon me quickly.
Today I'm out with children and dogs and I've already told myself I am NOT drinking when I get home.

@Mummykins54 if you're not sure about AA there's something called SMART (I think?). I've not used it but maybe someone else on here can give you some advice. Sorry to hear your divorce is dragging out, must be v stressful which can't help with the wine. Are you looking to abstain or cut down? Sorry if you've said and I've missed it. I think we can all relate to a very full glass recycling bin here 🤦‍♀️ I know someone who used hypnotherapy to give up smoking and for them it worked, so it's got to be worth a try!

@Nowstrong I hate battling with a busy pool too. I'm not a morning person though so I like to go after dinner. You'd think that would occupy me instead of wine, but nope, I get home at witching hour and still want it often. 20km in a day is an amazing goal! I love walking too but I've never walked anywhere near that far. Sounds like you're doing amazingly!

@Starlia once in a year is still amazing! Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing really well. What AF wine do you drink?

I've realised from about 8-9:30pm is my witching hour(and a bit). Last night I really fancied wine again (after only two days 🤦‍♀️). I wasn't particularly productive in that time, but rode it out and by 9:30pm was glad I didn't have anything, and was definitely glad this morning. I'm sure I'll feel the same come 8pm tonight though 🤦‍♀️

Sorry me again 😅

Just come across this thread and lots of people are recommending the Gordon's 0% gin. Tastes just like the real thing apparently!

Give me a non alcoholic drink that isn’t awful www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4877992-give-me-a-non-alcoholic-drink-that-isnt-awful

Hello all. Still doing fine here. One day at a time.

Really dreading short holiday next week. Firstly my sibling is hard work. I've mentioned being AF and they actually mentioned why bother going on holiday. So I've really got to stay strong. Will post myself messages to stick to AF way of life. Won't be able to swim or walk too much either. Both are becoming essential to me.

@enoughisenough4 I'm a ginger lover and at the moment really enjoying a Trip in the evening. Going to try Gimber to see if it has a nice fiery kick to it. I have tried JNPR which is an alcohol free gin, but wasn't impressed taste wise. The problem is to find something tasty (and not too sweet for me). As for my 20km goal, it's not going to be easy, but I am prepared to get there. Really motivated to get extremely fit. Just as I am to stay AF. Just hope I manage to keep that way.
Hope everyone is doing well. Stay strong.

Does beer count ?!
I've been out since 9am with 3 children and 2 dogs. They've not long since been picked up. I'm shattered.
The Good News is even though I just needed the shop, I didn't buy wine. Just beer.
I don't smoke with beer, nor do I want more to drink. I tend to stop after 2.

Yes, to Gordon's af gin n tonic, in the cans. My friend did dry Jan with them, and she still drinks them now.

@enoughisenough4 , well done for getting through that witching hour. I think I told you already the evenings don't bother me - in fact, I'm in bed for 9pm. Always have been.
It doesn't matter that you fancied wine after only 2 days. I can wake up with the very best of intentions and still get drawn to it.
You're doing really well.
@Nowstrong the holiday sounds like it will be challenging but you sound very focused.
I holiday on my own because as much as I get on with my sister, it just doesn't work. It only took me about 30 years to come to that conclusion.

@Amdone123 @enoughisenough4 - didn't do well last night at all - drank wine then had a massive argument with my son on the phone. He says I need to go to an AA meeting every night. I am going to loss my kids and grandchild if I don't stop but the thought of walking into a room full of strangers is terrifying

@Mummykins54 give AA a try.
They are not strangers, they don't judge, there's no competition with alcohol dependancy (only on mumsnet!). You have nothing to lose and no fees.
I joined this thread because I am wendywagon. I fall off occasionally. I have been aware of my alcoholism for years. My family longer. Don't expect perfection. Just go and listen. They will not judge you. I cried all the way through my first meeting. Every offer of help is a kindness, lean in. Life can be lonely. Your family asked you to go, go. You don't have to sign anything, just be sober on the day. If you are in the South West I would come with you. X

@WendyWagon thanks for that offer I am in Scotland - what happens when you attend your first meeting? There are lots of them on around me?

@Mummykins54 so sorry you've had a fallout with your ds. There's nothing worse. Things can only get better eh ?
Absolutely no need to be scared of the meetings. You don't even have to speak - they just ask you to listen and see if any of what they say resonates with you.
It will get better ❤️

@Amdone123 he is stopping me seeing my grandson for 2 weeks unless I go to meetings and that is making me feel worse although I know he has had enough x

@WendyWagon where abouts in Scotland? Vague or PM me if you prefer x

@Mummykins54 sorry that was meant for you

I had a bit of a moderating win yesterday. I went out for dinner with a friend and we shared a bottle of wine then I came home and had a soft drink and went to bed.

lessons I am learning:

if I have a drink before I go out that almost always leads to a huge binge disaster

DO NOT drink anymore when I get home!!!

follow @Amdone123 excellent advice - play if forward: how do I want to feel in the morning?

@Determineddoris how are things with you?

Morning all.

I've had a look at the thread "give me a non alcoholic drink that isn’t awful" and found some useful tips and have ordered the Gordan's 0% to give it a try. It's something to drink that seems "grown up" as I'm not a soft drink fan and I'm getting a bit fed up of AF beer, as I'm not usually a beer drinker. Will stay away from AF wine as too tempting to switch to the real stuff.
Still swimming. So in lots of water. Still very hot here so also drinking water to stay hydrated.

My problem is in the evening. In the summer I don't travel so much, as the weather is nice here (too nice at the moment) and I often look after friends' cats and gardens. I enjoy a certain amount of TV/internet/reading, then get bored. When I get bored the Wine Witch starts to talk to me. If I get drawn in, I then get the nibbles. So I drink and eat.
@Mummykins54 I'm so sorry that you are being threatened by your son. I'm sure its from a good place but extra stress is not what you need at the moment. Perhaps give them a trial session. Not very helpful, but just mainly giving a virtual handhold.

I have talked to my Dr about going AF and he has ordered blood tests to check everything out (mainly my liver). He did say that if I needed help I could always talk to him and he could then recommend a counsellor.
For the moment, being on this thread is help enough. It is very soothing (not sure that's the correct term) to know that I'm not alone in the battle.
I think that if I can really recognize that the health benefits are worth more than the high that I get from alcohol, I might be OK. It's getting there that is the problem. Letting go of the crutch that was mine for so many years.

Abusive husband, divorce..
I am in a much better place now, so might manage to walk on my own 2 feet unaided.
Sorry for the essay and that I don't mention everyone who kindly share their wisdom and experiences, good and bad.
Wishing you all the best for today. Take care.

Hi all, just wanted to check in quickly had a skim read so sorry if I haven't caught up with all, just having an extended break from the internet as a whole and it has helped. Thanks for asking about me and I'm still AF nearly 11 weeks! I can't believe I got through a two week holiday abroad where husband was drinking daily from midday ish without drinking...just wanted to say hi to newcomers and hope everyone is ok you have all got this! @Touty how are you? You have done really well and I understand where you are coming from but maybe you could try another 40? Have a great week all, I'm going to log off again for a bit it's done wonders for my MH.x

@Bigbus that's great, I love those small wins.
I had one, too. Drank the 2 bottles of beer. Was itching to drink wine and made a plan that when my dh went back out to work, I was going to drink and smoke. I then remembered I was hungry so made myself eat tea. And, voila ! No more urge to drink ! So, lessons for me too. Mainly, don't buy wine and eat.

@Nowstrong I can totally relate to the nice evenings and wanting to drink. I really struggle here when the sun makes a rare appearance.
As well as the af gin, I've heard really good things about Crodino - buy from Amazon.
@Mummykins54 I hope things start to get better for you. I agree with @Nowstrong , you need support not threats, but put that on the back burner for now. Draw a line under all the nasty bits and see today as a fresh start for you.
Sometimes we have to hit a kind of rock bottom before we make any changes ?
You can do it. We'll all help you ❤️

@Determineddoris , ahhhh, no words - well 2 - bloody marvellous ❤️

@Nowstrong @Amdone123 yes it is not nice but when I drink I am not a nice drunk so that is why he is threatening that if I do not stop he won't want anything to do with me. He is only young - 22 with a young baby. Also going through a very acrimonious divorce is not helping.

I am already finding the support on these threads so good knowing I am not alone x

@Bigbus that's a brilliant moderating win - well done!

I sadly can't say the same. Drank a bottle again last night. It's so true that the more you drink, you more you want to drink 🤦‍♀️ I definitely won't be having anything tonight as DH working away and I don't drink in the evening if I'm solo parenting.

Going to (finally!) vax my sofas and get into bed early with This Naked Mind