My feed

to access all these features

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Alcohol support

On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

984 replies

Determineddoris · 10/06/2023 20:36

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

OP posts:
Bigbus · 10/06/2023 22:04

Hello @Determineddoris thanks for this. I hope everyone is having a good weekend. I really wanted to have a glass of cold wine in the sun this lunchtime but I had chores to do this afternoon and I knew if I started drinking I wouldn’t do any! I put it off until 5.30 and I’ve had just under a bottle which is ok I reckon. I find pouring small glasses seems to work. I used to fill up huge glasses and have loads.

Thanks to everyone in the last thread for all their support. It’s been a real lifesaver.

Determineddoris · 10/06/2023 22:10

Hey @Bigbus sounds great what you have achieved for sure ! Same as me though in terms of I used to just sit with wine and nothing got done in the house. Past few days AF I have cleaned the sodding kitchen floor properly for the first time in months ! I've always wanted to get on with some crafts too that I have all ready but am the queen of procrastination! @Manyrivers I saw your post on the old thread , your theory about the obstacles is brilliant so thank you for that I used to be the one thinking how will I get to and from places cabs and all now I don't have to think too hard as can just drive! Glad you enjoyed your day x

OP posts:
Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 04:42

Thanks @Determineddoris , and you're welcome. Your support, and everyone else's on here, keeps me going.

So, day 3 here, but mentally I appeared to have turned a corner. No cravings for alcohol, I know it's only early days, but I'm sick of it. All it does is take - can't think of anything it gives.
I know I was sick on Friday because I also took medication ( in a bid to avoid the hangover), but it wasn't just paracetamol. It was stronger and medication that wasn't even prescribed to me. Which I know is a Big No No.
But that's where I'm up to.

Apologies if I sound maudlin ! The dog can't sleep, he's been awake since 1am. He's all over the place. It's light now so I'm taking him out for a nice long walk - when we get back, we can wave dh off !

Manyrivers · 11/06/2023 07:51

Good Morning Everyone,

Thanks for including me in the switch over. New thread, new goals, new actions, new achievements? I'm going with that theme! Whose with me?

I'm off to do a bit of volunteering this morning, another one of my "obstacles". This afternoon I'm going to fit in a bit of excerise. I'm doing my clearest thinking when excerising at the moment, it's helping me mentally unpack and plan for the future. I've had a good week, not perfect but a lot better than most, I'm aiming for the same this week.

@Amdone123 your right about the drink taking., its a health thief and a time thief.
The other day I imagined my moderating/abstaining journey like being in a small boat. I'm trying to row up the river with heavy rocks in my boat, almost sinking me. Each rock represents one of my issues, drinking, overeating etc. The heaviest rock is my drinking. I can chuck that rock overboard and make my life /journey easier right? But the crazy part is when the water gets choppy (work stress etc), I retrieve that rock and put it back in my boat, which makes my journey harder again. Using this theory I had to ask myself, "why the he would I do that to myself"?... I was going to post this thought the other day, it was a light bulb moment for me but I am aware I may also sound like a rambling idiot!!

@texy @Determineddoris @Bigbus would love to hear any of your own thoughts x

texy · 11/06/2023 08:49

Morning all, thank you so much for the new thread and tagging me so I wasn't lost in cyber space 😂

@Amdone123 - I can sense from your posts that you're maybe feeling a bit down. You've been the first, best and loudest voice in the past to tell people not to beat themselves up over what has passed so I'll say that to you now in case you need to hear it. It's all a big learning experience, little experiments as we go along. It sounds like you won't want to repeat Thursday's experiment and that's fine, good learning. Onwards and upwards, and sounds like you're in a great mindset for success going forwards.

@Manyrivers love your analogy - I'm a great fan of an analogy if that hasn't been obvious so far! I find that sort of visualisation really helpful and love the rock idea. So true and perhaps helpful in those trickier moments when a part of us thinks it going to help. No, it's just going to weigh us down. Your comment about exercise also struck me - I'm completely unfit to the point that I've basically self-inflicted a fairly serious back injury on myself. But that will now change - I've contacted a personal training gym and have an induction meeting next week. I have to take some positive steps for my health, and exercise is my Mount Everest (I hate it). I feel proud I've even taken the first step to be honest. Working on the alcohol intake has helped me feel stronger in other areas too, like I am actually worth looking after. That's a big mindset shift for me and needs continual work.

I drank wine with lunch yesterday but again switched after lunch to tonic. The fevertree blood orange soda is one of my faves too. I feel like this was one of my two areas I wanted to tackle (the amount and the frequency). I feel good about the amount now and that I can get what I want out of it and then stop, but still finding the frequency (or the temptation of the frequency) my biggest daily habit to break. Taking it day by day.

Sorry, mammoth post. Hope you all have a great Sunday!

Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 08:50

@Manyrivers , I love the small boat vision. I'll be using that !
And yes, to a new thread = new goals. I'm definitely on-board with that.
Well done on your better week.

Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 08:57

@texy , thanks. And no need to apologise for your post. Well done for switching to tonic after the wine, that's a great step in the right direction. You're right about one day at a time, too.
I'm feeling more annoyed than down, but yes, that annoyance is pissing me off, so probably both.
I've never felt this annoyed before and I'm directing it at the wine witch !
I won't be drinking today.

texy · 11/06/2023 09:00

Its the wine witch's fault to be fair. She's a right bitch.

bookworm44 · 11/06/2023 09:54

Hi everyone, i hope you don't mind me popping up but i really need to do something about my drinking and can't seem to sort it out. I only drink in the evenings but i just feel like i have nothing to look forward to if i try to go without. I know the amount i have been drinking is bad for my health aswell as my weight.

Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 11:15

@texy , 🤣🤣

@bookworm44 hi and welcome. Do you want to abstain for a bit, or moderate ?
Can you think of anything else you can do in the evenings, that you'd look forward to ?
It's so hard, I know.
The weight issue is a big thing for me, and the health issues of course.
What are your plans for today, this evening?
Could you give tonight a miss and see how you get on ?

bookworm44 · 11/06/2023 12:16

Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 11:15

@texy , 🤣🤣

@bookworm44 hi and welcome. Do you want to abstain for a bit, or moderate ?
Can you think of anything else you can do in the evenings, that you'd look forward to ?
It's so hard, I know.
The weight issue is a big thing for me, and the health issues of course.
What are your plans for today, this evening?
Could you give tonight a miss and see how you get on ?

Thank you, i'm not sure to be honest. I'm rather all or nothing so might be best to avoid completely. I tend to want to drink while sitting in front of the tv, so maybe if j walk the dogs later than usual, have a bath, read then go to bed early. That would at least be day 1 😊

Manyrivers · 11/06/2023 13:47

Welcome @bookworm44 your evening plan sounds good. A nice candle, a movie or a book and a cup of tea usually make it feel more comforting. I love a nice wax melt with a relaxing scent too. If I'm feeling extra adventurous I might even put on a facemask! Day 1 is a good place to start ✨️

Determineddoris · 11/06/2023 16:55

Hi all, @Manyrivers that rock and boat analogy actually 100% makes sense to me! The question is the why we put that rock back in even though we know it doesn't help long's probably a question you have to sit and think about why we drink in the first place. Some of it might be deep seated some artificial reasons but there's always a reason!
@Amdone123 did your DH get away ok? How are you feeling? I did think you might have taken the meds hence why you were sick. Do you think the meds will help you if you get some for yourself ?
@texy the wine witch is the BIGGEST bitch I understand.
@bookworm44 hello there and welcome! I too I think am all or nothing so trying my best! Your evening sounds great hope you be kind to yourself. I'm finishing day 5, was at work all day and am going to open Nozeco that's been in my cupboard past few years!

OP posts:
Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 17:37

@Determineddoris , you are doing so well. Day 5 nearly done ✅

I probably was sick because of the tablets because I've heard other people say it. Had I not taken them, I'd just have had a straightforward hangover. It was stupid to take them but I'm glad it happened. It just goes to show how dangerous my drunk decision making is.
Dh got away fine thanks.
My sister came up today, so with her grandchildren and mine, I had a house full. We went to the shops where I sometimes buy wine, but no, not today, I don't want to.
I've had a lovely day, productive etc.
I was going to say day 4 tomorrow but I'm not even counting days now. I'm just not drinking.

@bookworm44 , hope you're doing OK?

bookworm44 · 11/06/2023 17:52

Thank you everybody, you are so friendly and welcoming. I am definitely not drinking tonight. I have alcohol but it's in the boot of my car and i can't/won't drink it warm. I am however, already in two minds when to allow myself to drink it.

Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 18:46

@bookworm44 , that's great. First evening nearly done and I bet you'll feel good tomorrow morning.
Can you put the wine somewhere else for the immediate future ?
When I've not wanted it in the house, but someone has say, bought me a bottle, I've taken it to my sister's and put it in her fridge. Or I've given it away.
It would tempt me too much.

Determineddoris · 11/06/2023 19:29

@Amdone123 I'm glad your sister's visit went booze free, do you talk to her about it all? I also am unsure whether to count the days as I'm not drinking either anymore literally your name same am done.... I'm feeling so sleepy now as I haven't been sleeping at all I mean the heat doesn't help I guess. I opened that Nozeco I just mentioned and I had a glass and then just put it away. I didnt even want that feeling...also DH put a wine glass filled with wine in front of me and I said remove that from my sight please as I was gettinf on with dinner etc and he promptly did. So he's being super supportive I think anyway but @bookworm44 I'm glad it's in the car out of sight you might feel you want to give it to someone for now that's if you want to do a streak as such or whatever you feel like but just know there's no judgement here and we are all here for you !

OP posts:
Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 20:07

@Determineddoris , oh, yes, my sister is the closest person to me. I tell her everything. Funnily enough, she was out yesterday and said she felt tired, depressed etc. She's going on holiday tomorrow so she asked if I wanted to start abstaining with her when she gets back. I told her I've already started but I'll help her when she gets home, etc.
I've said it to her so many times, I'm not sure she believes me, but I believe me !
Hope you get some good sleep tonight - it should start getting better, soon. I don't mind if I'm awake so long as I'm not awake with a banging head.

Bigbus · 11/06/2023 21:18

Hello everyone and welcome @bookworm44 . I had my afternoon pub meet-up today and stuck to three G&Ts - would have been 2 but one of the guys went and bought a round without asking. I think the other woman there wasn’t drinking anyway so it’s not a big deal as I think it is. I think maybe more people are AF now.

I’m doing ok I think. I’m a bit tired and bored but that might be life 😂 and not the not drinking. I’m off to fat friends tomorrow to get weighed so I’m hoping for a good loss and that will spur me on I think.

best wishes everyone

bookworm44 · 11/06/2023 21:23

I've done the late dog walk, had a bath, read for a bit & am now watching Casualty. I'm a bit worried i won't go to sleep as easily as normal. Can't remember the last time i went to bed sober.

bookworm44 · 11/06/2023 21:25

Amdone123 · 11/06/2023 18:46

@bookworm44 , that's great. First evening nearly done and I bet you'll feel good tomorrow morning.
Can you put the wine somewhere else for the immediate future ?
When I've not wanted it in the house, but someone has say, bought me a bottle, I've taken it to my sister's and put it in her fridge. Or I've given it away.
It would tempt me too much.

Even if I had none in the car to tempt me i would just buy some on my way home from work. I need to use willpower for this!

Determineddoris · 11/06/2023 21:55

Well done you got this @bookworm44 ! Don't worry about insomnia I too couldn't remember the last time but it changes and it feels so good to have a restful meaningful sleep without the booze in our system! Well done keep going!
@Bigbus that's really good about the G and TS and the other woman not drinking ...that's really good you were aware of everything and moderating I wish I could ! And Im feeling tired and fed up too with life and a million things at once but I've got a clearer head now I can deal with what life throws at me. It'll be hard but worth it. Good luck at fat friends I had never heard of it and thought you were actually going to a fat mates house eek! Hahah

OP posts:
Bigbus · 11/06/2023 23:30

@Determineddoris haha! It’s actually Slimming World but there was a comedy a while ago called ‘Fat Friends’ so that’s what I call it. It’s a cult for sure but it seems to work for me!

Starlia · 12/06/2023 04:08

Welcome @bookworm44 I know I often feel exactly the same way you do. I can’t have it in the house at all. I save drinks for Fri/Sat nights and only buy enough to last the weekend.
Are there any other treats you could look forward to instead of alcohol? I enjoy a cold glass of AF wine and it does the trick.
I will also be interested to see if you sleep better sober? I know I do.

Bigbus · 12/06/2023 06:29

I find that when I stop drinking the first few nights are not so good but then after a few days I sleep much better so if the first night isn’t great then hang in there, it should improve. Also sometimes I take CBD capsules which help a lot when the insomnia strikes.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.