On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

@Manyrivers , well done ! That's brilliant, you did really well.
Not so positive here. 1 bottle of wine when we were out and 1 bottle in the garden when we got home.
I'm not too hungover because we ate lunch and tea and feel OK mentally ! Was verging on beating myself up, but I'm not going to bother. I'm looking on the positives in that I had 10 af days before yesterday.
I don't know why I bother saying I'm not drinking wine anymore though 😩
Happy Easter !

@Manyrivers thats great news! I had so many hungover breakfasts in hotels that I started to feel ill just thinking about orange juice! its so nice to be able to enjoy breakfast now!

I am away on holiday which makes things more complicated but luckily the people I’m with are not big drinkers. It’s self catering and I’m cooking a meal later - I moved it from lunch to evening to reduce potential drinking time!

have a lovely day everyone and if you do decide to have a few drinks in the sun, enjoy it!

@Manyrivers well done! Huge achievement! I don’t think I could’ve managed that.

Our favourite wine bar is open today, so big test for me shortly. It seems unrealistic to say I am going to be AF (and watch my DH drink a bottle of wine to himself). Im going to allow 2 glasses. My motivation is that I don’t want to lose my inhibitions and eat a load of food (I already did that this morning!). Wish me luck. I’ll report back later. 🤞🏻

@Amdone123 I hope you had a good night. No point beating yourself up over something you can’t undo. You’re not hungover which is really positive. Lots of water today, hopefully you can do one of your long walks too.

Happy Easter! 🐣

My wine urge came back yesterday early evening...I think it was the lovely weather or I've got over how I felt last Sunday/Monday! I delayed until 7 pm and then had a couple. The good news was I didn't want more. I know that ONLY works (the actually wanting to stop before a hangover is likely) if I have decent gaps between drinking i.e. 1 week+ . I've got a feeling I might have to distract myself tonight as I do not want to drink two nights in a row and get drawn back in, especially as I want to be able to have 2-3 drinks on Thu (and then stop!).

Brilliant @Manyrivers - sounds perfect!

@Coppergate3 , that's great you only had a couple. I know what you mean about being drawn back in. I'm out today, taking our granddaughter for a meal. I'll probably have a beer. I don't want to drink wine today but I'll have to be mindful of how easy I appear to find ordering. It's like it's programmed in to me. 🤣
I probably need some kind of electric shock treatment to ease it out.
@Swannyb , hope you have a lovely time in the wine bar. We did have a lovely day yesterday. ❤️

Happy Easter everyone !!
@stoppingnow we could be sisters because I'm in the same boat! How's it going for you have you managed any AF days I haven't unfortunately! And @Arrrrrrragghhh you hit the nail on the head if only we could invent wine that wasn't wine ???? I was out yesterday with the family activity and then to the pub after , I was looking at the wine list and saw there was a lower calorie low alcohol wine I didn't taste it of course as DH and I shared a bottle of normal red. When we got home he had an open bottle and started drinking it. I said where's my class he said so do you want some ? I said erm ok no I don't and walked off to do other things but then I was drawn back to the goddamn wine!!! I'm not blaming DH in the slightest but if he hadn't carried on drinking I wouldn't have bothered if that makes sense? On Friday too my fleeting feelings of alcohol at midday didn't appear and it was 6pm by the time I 'wanted' wine...I don't know I feel like if I keep active I don't need it. @Bigbus so the fact you had it in your hand and didn't have it is amazing I took moke upstairs and it was on my bedside table in the morning ! But I did have some...it's gross smelling that wine but it doesn't stop me ! Well done @Manyrivers for your moderation when you were out !! Hats off to you. @Swannyb how did the wine bar go for you? I definitely wouldn't be able to watch my DH drink a bottle to himself and not want and get jealous !!! @Bigbus hope you are enjoying being away and dinner goes as planned! Someone has 47 days or so well done to them !!! Well done to @Coppergate3 for not wanting more after a few I know what you mean about the gap needed... unfortunately my gap is still to come !!!!@Amdone123 hope you have a lovely meal with your granddaughter I know what you mean about the wine I'm pretty sure there should be a blood group for it!!! Enjoy your self and everyone is doing amazing. I am not getting trollied well I never do but I'm not over drinking and even went out for a walk this morning to get in those steps...the weather is bloody beautiful and we are off to in laws for lunch...hoping I'll just say no to wine as I'll be driving anyway!

I gave up booze for Lent so today was the first day after 47 I could drink! I was so looking forward to it. DH gave up chocolate so I had gave him an Easter egg this morning. He said that he didn’t want it because his blood pressure and weight had gone down and he wasn’t going to have sugar. So I was cross and didn’t drink any of the lovely red he opened. He later cracked and had a chocolate pudding and some egg. And I stayed firm. No wine for me at all. Despite there being more than half a bottle open.
I’m out tomorrow and Tuesday so I plan on drinking beer then. Someone on the alcohol support thread (Rosie someone?) made the observation that stopping drinking was easy, staying stopped is the hard part which I 100% agree with . So we shall see if having alcohol again means I go back to my old ways.

@Arrrrrrragghhh , well done on giving up for lent - you've done really well.
I think when we give up for a period of time, this is exactly how you should approach it. Asking yourself do you really need it, maybe listing the benefits etc. It's a brilliant springboard for you.
( my friend does dry Jan then in Feb, drinks twice as much ! I dont understand that !).
Let us know how get on. Could be a whole fresh start for you.

Good Morning Everyone,

I hope you all achieve your goals this week. I'm going for another shot at Monday to Sunday AF this week. I don't think I've every achieved that one yet so here goes!

I hope you all have a great day.

Morning!
Well, I've had a lovely Easter considering I had no plans. Saturday was lovely and yesterday had a good day. I was hungover yesterday - a little, not too bad, but I still drank. I had just under 2 bottles ( again). Feel groggy today, but all ok.
I'm going to have a nice bath, do some housework, watch tennis and enjoy the last day of Easter.
@Manyrivers , I can join you af til Thursday!

@Amdone123 sounds like a plan! Let's do this

I am hungover today, which I am taking as a learning experience not a failure! We had some family and friends who are staying in the same place over for a meal and some wine was consumed! I probably somewhere between 1 and 2 bottles but I did pour myself small glasses and paused between them so less hungover than I would have been in the past. However, I’ve got used to feeling better than this and I don’t like how I feel today. I guess complacency sets in and you think it’s ok to have a few more drinks just this once (it is ok of course but I don’t like this feeling and it’s a good lesson for me).

I managed to stick to my two glasses of wine out yesterday - the glasses were gigantic but it was still only two! 😂

Our second favourite wine bar is bloody open today and my DH is desperate to go. Im not. Partly health reasons, partly can’t be bothered to put make up on. Watch this space to see who wins.

Nothing wrong with those who are hungover today. It’s been an Easter weekend. It’s not a normal weekend. You can still start the working week fresh.

@Determineddoris just one AF night this week!! So not alot!! I'm listening to Alan Carrs book at the moment but the only time I can listen to it is when the kids are in bed (as the house is mayhem before that) and then I have convinced myself to drink a glass of wine at that stage!!! Going to try for a good few AF nights this week as have a night out with friends this Saturday and we haven't met up in ages, would love to be fresh for it , brighter face etc from an AF week! Even though I'd prob want a lot more than a week to brighten up this face  @Arrrrrrragghhh amazing , well done for doing all lent !! That's a fabtastic achievement!

@stoppingnow that's a brilliant plan I might try and do it with you! I got in at 4am this morning last minute going out....I paced myself though and danced the night away. I'm tired more than hungover !

@Swannyb , yes, I like your thinking regarding it not being a normal weekend !
Whilst I've drank a lot over the past 2 days, I'm taking solace in the fact that before that, I had 10 af days !
I'll have a few af days now. I don't want to go out Thursday but I'll probably be ok once I'm there. I usually am.
@Determineddoris , it's a long time since I rolled in at 4am ! Sounds like you had a good time, and that's important. Have a rest today - if you can.

Well after not drinking Easter Sunday and 48 days of being AF I have absolutely fallen off the wagon. Three pints and currently necking the open wine I didn’t drink yesterday.
So now the dilemma:
I love drinking and don’t mind being drunk .
I also absolutely loved being AF and how I felt not drinking.
Only difference is not drinking is tougher so I needed to work at it. Picking up a bottle is easy.
Where next ?

@Arrrrrrragghhh We are here for you. Your dilemma is my dilemma, I love drinking and how I feel in the moment (that short term moment), but going days AF feels so much better. Can you designate one night a week where you drink? Would that help with the balance? I think that’s what I’m going to do but still have intentions to drink less/slower.

Wine bar won. We shared a bottle. I drunk the majority of it, continued eating when we got home. At least I managed to do a solid skin care routine. Anxiety woke me up from about 11pm, followed by a dodgy belly at around 3am. I’m not hungover fortunately, just a rough night.

Do you think if I drunk the equivalent in vodka I would have had the same issues?

Also, I am committing to not eating out or drinking until Sunday. 🤞🏻

@Swannyb Is one night a week still too reliant though? I think 40 odd days with no alcohol showed I don’t actually need to drink at all.
I didn’t need it with a meal, on a holiday, out to a bar with friends, bring sad, celebrating or just in with a film. I didn’t feel life would be better with a drink although I craved the taste of a nice red.
It makes me think, what am I actually getting from drinking and why do I need to bother.

I also think you need to be careful with vodka. It’s 37% on average.

@Arrrrrrragghhh the one night a week thing is something I thought I wanted to achieve, but you are right, it is still reliant. It is a bit like dieting or being healthy and having one cheat meal a week - you spend your whole week fantasising over this future event. You've given me a lot to think about!

@Determineddoris how are you doing, with all my plans, I haven't done great this week. I need to change .. I'm definitely doing tomorrow till Saturday! I have to! Hope everyone else is doing good too, must go back and read through the posts that I missed .

Good Evening All,

Ive been catching up on posts and its great to see the progress everyone is making.

It's ups and downs, twists and turns but we are all still here, making the effort and commiting to change, however small they may feel. Its so easy to beat ourselves up about the one day or 3 days we did "bad". Your neither good nor bad for drinking or abstaining, your trying to change habits and coping strategies your had for years.

@Swannyb your right it's like dieting, reversing that weight gain is usually a long, tough process with weeks you don't lose weight or you even gain weight. I think that's a good comparison. We are all going through a process to become better versions of ourselves. I'm on AF day 2 of my 7 day target. Maybe I will make it maybe not. I know that the little wins I've had so far have positivly impacted on me and that keeps me striving for more.