The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

I hadn't read the update on Nicola, but feck me it's really made me feel emotional. 😢

I've been following a few of the threads on here (before this recent development). I don't imagine there'll be much sympathy... or maybe I'm underestimating MN?

I'm also saddened to hear the recent update on Nicola, sounds like she's really been struggling and I hope to god she's found safe and well. It's also made me reflect on my own personal experience, I'm a menopausal woman and wine was my emotional crutch for quite some time - until I found the strength to be AF. It's so tough!! Many failed attempts and a bloody awful blackout accident made me change my ways. It's a bit of a taboo subject still, coupled with the menopause (the new buzz word thanks to all the aging celebrities) it's a lethal concoction 😞 that slippery slope it's just far too dangerous more needs to be done.

@Breathmiller mum is also my inspiration for giving up. I can see some of the same traits in me so thought I'd take control now. Menopause is another reason. I think I'm in the peri stage so wanted to be sure the brain fog is for natural reasons and not because I had wine! I did give in the other week and tried a drop of wine and didn't like it so pleased I've managed to get to this point.

Morning all.
I am not sure alcohol issues would have been mentioned if a missing person was a man! This poor lady has lots of friends shown by their searching and vigils. Not sure why it was necessary to expose the family. My heart goes out to them all.
My friend who died before Christmas was in advertising and that is a hard drinking culture. A few people (who didn't go to the funeral) seemed to think it was to be expected whilst pursing their fish wife's lips. Let he without sin and all that.
Fingers crossed they are ready to exchange on the original house next week!!

@WendyWagon I completely agree with you about exposing the alcohol issues. Also, couldn’t they have just said she has some health issues and is therefore vulnerable and left it at that?
Victim blaming and mysogeny at its best, poor family.
Fingers crossed for your house Wendy!!!

I'm actually going to go as far as to say that NB's alcohol issues have been released to detract / deflect from all the criticism of the Police.

It's despicable that this info has been shared. It feels very 'victim blamey'

As a woman of a similar age, who has issues with alcohol it makes me boil to be honest.

Praying for a positive outcome.
.

Completely agree @Crunchymum
infuriating!

I've taken inspiration from those posters who have had a significant period of sobriety. It's a joy to read the milestone updates.
I also take comfort from those, whose recovery is closer aligned to mine (59 days and 13 hours) and who are experiencing similar thoughts, feelings and cravings!
I was very interested with something i read on here, or elsewhere, which I can very much relate to.

1. We learn how to stop using alcohol
2. We learn how to cope without using alcohol
3. We learn how to live a full life without using alcohol

I am very much at point 1, though the extra time and energy I have created for myself is causing me to assess point 2. I feel much better, though I'm quite restless and slightly distracted. I need to embrace point 2. Clearly, my moniker is aspirational for now! Have a great sober day

Oops. Apologies for the terrible formatting there.
I told you I was distracted!

Evening all.
Must admit I’m being hit by cravings at the moment. Feeling under the weather, had to cut my holiday short to go to the fracture clinic for my wrist, and home alone. In the old days a few nights alone would mean an ability to drink unchecked- but would put the empties in local waste bins so the recycling bin didn’t look so bad. Just wanted to write that down so I can’t kid myself about how bad it got.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Checking in quickly. I agree on the mention of menopause and alcohol with Nicola. What’s it got to do with us? When they said “with vulnerabilities” I actually thought “if they mention menopause…” and then hours later they did. No need for that.

anyway.

I sent off for some edibles as sentia has a week’s lead time and they did NOTHING. How unfair is that! I don’t smoke weed and so no tolerance build up on anything. They worked on DH. I’m unreasonably frustrated by it. Sentia had better be The Bomb. There’s only so much taking a bath and reading a book I can do.
I ‘m relaxed already and frankly a tad bored.

I’m not returning to drink because I feel so well on it but I am just Bored.

Stay strong @Tramma! I was quite surprised to realize initially that I drank when I was bored. But really, I was still bored..just drunk and bored. Find a distraction, anything will do!

Dreadful situation with NB! Made me furious

I agree about Nicola Bulley. Very poor.

Morning all.

Sorry you’re feeling bored @Tramma . William Porter says something like “alcohol doesn’t make boring things interesting- it makes our brain stupid”, which is a little harsh, but probably true. What did you used to enjoy as a kid (assuming 10 year old you wasn’t into baths and books)?

Hi guys

Not posted for a while as work is always super busy this time of year and suddenly it’s half term to boot! After bagging dry January it’s hard to believe we are mid way through Feb. I’m reading the thread when I can and can identify with many of the challenges. Feeling incredibly sad about the NB case.. what a shit show.

I've been a bit of a lurker rather than posting much here. Definitely good to come and read some posts and remember why this is all a good idea after a ski holiday last week with definite moments of wobble. When I tell myself I just want the 'good' drinks - the beer at the mountain bar after a day on the slopes, the nice glass of red with a meal out..... I need to remember that having those means a return to all the not-good ones too.

And I had an awesome week in the mountains with my family. Alcohol wouldn't have made that better at all in the end.

Tramma I also sometimes feel bored but as others have said the answer is to find something interesting to do. I think I'm getting better at that on the whole (5.5 months in) but still need to remind myself. I'm hoping spring helps... I bloody hate winter but we are more than halfway through February and I'm starting to feel the end is in sight

Welcome @PosiePerkinPootleFlump! so familiar about the “good” drinks and “not good” drinks… Well done for staying strong.

@Tramma I relate to the boredom as I’m a real sensation seeker (which also led me to booze). I’ve had to actively seek out excitement without alcohol. It’s taken a while (!) but I now get my kicks by exercising (and really pushing myself trying new things), at work, cold water swimming, generally keeping busy and planning nice trips/adventures. Honestly when I look back I was so boring when I was drinking, I lead a much more exciting life now! You need to find what gives you that kick! Do things you enjoy but also get out of your comfort zone.

Morning all. 4 days down, starting day 5, and the first day I've even thought about drinking. Probably thinking of it today as it's Friday, and my girls are at their Dad's. I have a night off, and no plans except tidying the house ready for the weekend. Previously a couple of glasses of red would have made that feel much more enjoyable. I have bought myself a bottle of my favourite rose lemonade, so my plan is to finish work, tidy a few bits, then get outside for a walk, hopefully catching the sunset. Then get home, finish tidying, and sit down with my book and my rose lemonade, and put my feet up for a bit. I'm hoping that staves off any boredom, and marks the start of the weekend with some healthy habits.

@Gymspiration "heavy drinkers reminisce and talk of the past more whereas those seeking sobriety are more forward looking" I love this. After therapy, I now cope much better, but I feel like I dwell on the past a lot, and I hate that I do, such a waste of energy. I'm going to try to remember this when I feel like I'm missing out. Sober me, looking forward, making plans, and being to carry them out because I'm not hungover!

Afternoon lads. Sainsburys has the Kylie AF rose prosecco at £7. Will let you know if any good.

Friday again so soon.

Wishing everyone a happy and sober weekend. DH and I are going out tomorrow in the day, which is a bit of a novelty. My app tells me I am 12 weeks sober this time around. I'm pretty much at the point where this is me, take it or leave it and people are now much more accepting than they were at the beginning.

I’m so glad I’m not the only bored one! Thank you for saying you are too, because GAWD I do feel like I’m supposed to be on a pink cloud or super present or something.

Onewild - that’s a good question. I did read a lot as a child so maybe I need to ramp it up a bit. And vary the material. Other than that, I just talked endlessly apparently! Sport a bit in my teens but nothing structured as extracurricular that I have a passion for.

I do take exercise classes about 5 times a week. I don’t even really have stress that needs removing - I’m totally middle of the road, I didn’t have hangovers more than once a year, I didn’t drink to block anything out, I don’t have underlying trauma (that I can think of) I didn’t fight with people or get mean or throw up over the CEO at the Christmas party. I just drank a hell of a lot and rarely took days off.

I did months long wine courses and even holidayed in Burgundy! I socialised hard. I still And I still socialise and enjoy it but it’s the Weds night at 8pm when I’ve flicked through Netflix and I’m banging my head on the back of the sofa thinking why isn’t it BEDTIME.

Posie - that is a very good point about it being winter still. Perhaps I’ll be less frustrated with longer evenings and sunshine! Jan and Feb are always a bit shit.

Bunnies - I’ll have to have a think as to where I can push myself. I’m definitely unpushed (see middle of the road!) so there has to be space somewhere for a challenge to take up some
headspace.

Urgh. I am so positive about almost everything to do with sobriety and it is a great thing - I love how much I save on taxis and restaurant bills, love not waking at 3am (not miserably but definitely annoying) and I’ve more energy, I’m fitter, better skin. My skin, energy and fitness were ok before though. But I do need something greater than merely the absence of booze to keep me ticking along. I don’t even want to go back to it. I LOATHE moderating. It’s the worst. So depressing. I just need something else.

Hi everyone. Apologies for not tagging anyone but I am slowly catching up with the thread.

I am back with my tail between my legs which I guess you will know means I've had a relapse - although I'm not sure I was actually sober for long enough to call it a relapse!

But I did drink last weekend - it was "only" a day and a half binge and "only" a bottle of vodka but enough to cause huge upset to my family AGAIN. The worst of it for my husband was that we had not long came back from a fabulous weekend away and I was in such a good place, he just cannot understand my need to numb myself.

I always thought that other people drinking wasn't a trigger for me because I can sit with them in a pub, at dinner and watch them have a few drinks without feeling the need for alcohol. But I do seem to fall off the wagon maybe 4 or 5 days after we come back from trips away or events where everyone has been drinking. So I have come to the conclusion that although it doesn't bother me at the time, it must trigger me in my head in some way.

I’m back at day 6 AF.
I was driving home from work today and a song came on the radio by Gerry Cinnamon, a Scottish singer/songwriter.
I’ve copied the lyrics below and it has really really made me think.
I will need to translate some of the Scottish for you lol but basically a canter in Scotland slang just means easy. Basically this is me – I could have such an easy life if I just stopped being a wanker! The answer for me is to just stay sober – and I’m looking up at 60 so who know how many ‘good’ years I have left.
So I really want this song to be my inspiration as it is so true.

I hope some of you will also feel the song motivates them.
I’m not so busy with work for the next few days so I plan to catch up on the thread. I hope everyone is doing better than me and I look forward to hearing your stories.

Canter by Gerry Cinnamon
This is the beginning of the rest of your life
You better start movin' like you're running out of time
The realization coming over your mind
That it should be a canter
If you could just find the answer
You know it could be a canter
If you were just a wee bit less of a wanker
More than half ae' (of) the time
This is the beginning of the rest of your life
You better start graftin' 'cause you're running out of time
The roof is on fire and it's raining outside
But it should be a canter
If you could just find the answer
You know it could be a canter
If you were just a wee bit less of a wanker
More than half ae' the time
Because the hardest part of the game
Isn't even playing the game
It's caring enough to care about the things that you're daein' (doing)
Oh, it's a wee crying shame
Here comes the rain
This is the beginning of the rest of your life
You better start graftin' 'cause you're running out of time
The roof is on fire and it's raining outside
But it should be a canter
If you could just find the answer
You know it could be a canter
If you were just a wee bit less of a wanker
More than half ae' the time
They tell you it's no easy
They tell you that it's hard
They say it's impossible to mend a broken heart
The lead role in a tragedy pretending that it's art
And it's hard to see the finish when you don't know where to start
I could write a stanza and put you in a song
Detail all the times when you were right and I was wrong
Flashbacks to the only place I've felt like I belong
You'll never be a king when you're acting like a pawn
Because the hardest of the game
Isn't even playing the game
It's caring enough to care about playin' the game
Oh, it's a wee crying shame
Here comes the rain

Oh @Tramma - there is just So Much Time when you’re sober isn’t there 🤣. I do know what you mean. I think I relaxed into it after a while, although I did go on a lot of walks! And now seem to have massively over-committed myself to stuff.

Welcome back @2023forme - well done for starting again.

New fibreglass cast on my wrist. Doctor says I can run but I must be careful not to fall over, so feel a bit more hopeful about my half marathon- hoping getting a run in over the weekend will lift my mood.

@2023forme
A fair few of us on here have fallen off the wagon! This journey is not easy and each day is taken one at a time.
When I met with fortheloveofGod we talked about how we could be the driver, all fine at the event but then go home and crack open the booze. It was our reward for being 'good'.
If you can pick yourself and start again your body and mind will thank you. Everyday without drinking will get you closer to a sober life. One day it will taste like old socks or bitter water.
I am a work in progress but I own my alcoholism now. I wasn't a daily drinker but I was a drunk and not always nice one when I had tipped into the zone!
I credit my therapy sessions with helping me with my addiction. I really recommend it.

Wow, so much good advice on here. The posts are truly inspiring. Honest but inspiring.
@BunniesBunniesBunnies and @Tramma - I think I'll be back to re read what you've posted a few times. Makes absolute sense.
Like many, the boredom is all too real. I need to create an outlet for all this extra time and energy I've gained.
Tomorrow could be a trigger for me. Saturday evening drinking became Saturday afternoon became any time after 12 on a Saturday. Many weekends ended at Saturday lunchtime. Copious amounts of alcohol and one hungover Sunday later, it was time for work again. What a waste.
I cannot moderate, slow down or drink less. I need complete sobriety. A recovering friend gave me a great piece of advice recently - "the only drink you need to avoid is the first one"
I'll be reminding myself of this tomorrow.
I've loved being sober today